89 replies to this topic

[Rob Gordon]

So, as some of you know I'm going through a divorce. I kept very low key about it early on because, quite frankly, the first couple of months after she dropped the bomb on me were very painful. That was the holiday season. We waited until after the new year to tell our nine year old son. He seems to be taking it very well. Kind of like the scene in Talladega Nights where the kids find out about the divorce and cry out, "hooray, two Christmases". I'm sure it'll be harder on him once the reality of he and I not seeing each other on a daily basis comes about. I know it'll be rough on me. Still, I keep in mind that I may not have quantity time but I'll make damn sure it's quality time. Paperwork on the dissolutionment is nearing completion and we've saved quite a bit of money by keeping the lawyers at bay. I've been co-habitating and we're getting along quite amicably considering everything. But how can't we. An 18 year marriage, a 25 year relationship, and a son. There's too much between us to hate. So now to the topic at hand. I CAN"T WAIT TO BE FREE! I close on my new home in 20 days. It's perfect for me. My doctor, a product of divorce, suggested finding a home that's an easy bike ride for my son. Great advice and I'll be two miles away. Also two miles from Best Buy. Ha. It's a beauty. A small tan brick ranch built in 1959 with only one owner. The couple never had any children so the place is immaculate and totally updated. Hard wood floors, brand new roof and sheeting in 2001, new furnace and water heater in 2006, all new appliances staying. It's got a large backyard with all sorts of perennials and flowering trees, a little walking garden with wrought iron and wood slat bench. In ground sprinkler system. A gazebo with electric where I'll spend summer nights watching Tribe games and listening to tunes via my whole house audio system (first order of business...getting things wired). A full unfinished basement which will be music storage central and music practice space. Lots of posters and tapestries. It's all so mind blowing! The idea of being free to do what I want, when I want. Being a player! Shit, I haven't kissed another woman in about 20 years. I'm in better shape than I have been in, again, 20 years. In the little flirtation I've been doing on a few nights out...things bode very well for me! It's like the anticipation of Christmas morning but ten fold. Like I'm heading into my first year of college with my own crib. The anticipation is so intense....I can't concentrate on anything! Hey, how about some ideas on what to do with my spare time, with my son when he's with me, dating...ha!

[Duff.]

Exciting, man, best of luck to ya. When I inevitably face divorce years from now, I hope I come out of the darkness with your same optimism.

[yancy]

I knew it'd never last between you two.



She didn't take half your records, did she?

[Jess]

Been years since my divorce but i feel for you. both happy and sad. looks like your attitude is good. i wish you the best

[Agrimorfee]

Jeez, the kid has taken it well alright. Must be from watching too much of today's TV, youknowwhatimean? Go bowling with him, go to amusement parks and local events, sports events, whatever...as long as you do something with him while he's still young and likes the kid stuff. I hope it all turns out well for you, as it sounds amicable enough right now. Just be sure you pay whatever it is in alimony on time and completely, because that seems to be the big social ill nowadays (even though you obviously are not a "deadbeat dad"). I come from a broken home, myself, since 1977. My mother took my father to court in the early 90s for a spitload of money that he owed her, and they haven't spoken kindly to--or about-- each other since.

[faxman75]

[Rob Gordon]

I knew it'd never last between you two.



She didn't take half your records, did she?

Ha...no...thing is she keeps all the furniture. I keep my music collection and A/V stuff!

[yancy]

She got robbed. Nicely done. edit: Oh shit, I totally didn't intend that "robbed" pun. Laaame.

[wh1tep0ny]

it's not you do with your son as long as you are together not to whine but my dad missed alot of my childhood chasing beer and women behind my moms back usuing work as an excuse He missed my first "hit" in Little League this is unforgivable and when we did go places he never looked happy and we couldn't leave fast enough. So whatever you do with him have fun, and if it isn't fun remeber it's for him not you so suck it up. My kids have no interest in sports (which I Love) so instead I take them to the park and play bar tag and even do SCRAPBOOKING with them.

[Rob Gordon]

it's not you do with your son as long as you are together

not to whine

but my dad missed alot of my childhood chasing beer and women behind my moms back usuing work as an excuse

He missed my first "hit" in Little League this is unforgivable

and when we did go places he never looked happy and we couldn't leave fast enough.

So whatever you do with him have fun, and if it isn't fun remeber it's for him not you so suck it up.

My kids have no interest in sports (which I Love) so instead I take them to the park and play bar tag and even do SCRAPBOOKING with them.

Oh no...won't let that sort of thing happen. Been soccer coach for three years and am very involved with him. He is the number one priority in my life and always will be.

[TJENZ]

As a divorced dad, I say you don't want to be "disneyland dad". From the way you post, I don't think you will be. Keep your time w/your son more or less normal. Sometimes you've got to go to the grocery store or clean the house etc.... That said, treasure every second with him. Find/do special father-son hobbies or interests. Not living in the same home w/your child can be tough. It's an adjustment for you and him. You've still got to communicate w/your ex and stay on the same page about everything from school and study habits to how to discipline the boy. You seem like a solid guy and I'm sure you and jr will be great.

[velocity]

Rob, that's awesome! I'm glad you're able to see the upside now. If your son is at all interested in music, be sure to start taking him to concerts with you--or to see a band or two that he likes even if you're not particularly interested in them. If he does sports, go to his practices & games, even if they're on days you don't have custody. Be sure to go to the parent-teacher conferences & back-to-school nights. Volunteer to go on at least one field trip each year with his class. You sound like you're already very involved so this advice is probably unnecessary--but I've seen a bunch of dads (including my ex before & after the divorce) drop the ball on what should be no-brainers.

[elcorazon]

Good luck dude. You seem to be handling things extremely well. I'm sure you're a great dad now and will continue to be. Also sounds like you and the nearly-ex are keeping things civil, which is really good for your son.

[Sid Hartha]

Also sounds like you and the nearly-ex are keeping things civil, which is really good for your son.

^This seems to be the key. It's all about respect, and he's watching.

Kudos to both of you for keeping it amicable.

[yancy]

Just think how smoothly the kid's divorce will go when he grows up.

[Rob Gordon]

Also sounds like you and the nearly-ex are keeping things civil, which is really good for your son.

^This seems to be the key. It's all about respect, and he's watching.

Kudos to both of you for keeping it amicable.

Yeah, as I say, hard to turn your back on a 25 year relationship. I'm certain her and I will remain good friends. Even that jealous feeling is leaving me. You know, thinking about her seeing other guys. Of course that's mostly because I think I'm gonna do just fine.

[Hero]

It's all so mind blowing! The idea of being free to do what I want, when I want. Being a player! Shit, I haven't kissed another woman in about 20 years. I'm in better shape than I have been in, again, 20 years. In the little flirtation I've been doing on a few nights out...things bode very well for me!

i was sad for u, but after reading this part.... you effin rock!

[Rob Gordon]

It's all so mind blowing! The idea of being free to do what I want, when I want. Being a player! Shit, I haven't kissed another woman in about 20 years. I'm in better shape than I have been in, again, 20 years. In the little flirtation I've been doing on a few nights out...things bode very well for me!

i was sad for u, but after reading this part.... you effin rock!

Ha! The idea of makin' out on the couch with some smokin' babe has me swooning like a teenager!

[theremin]

Best Buy Sucks! Let's be careful out there.

[Rob Gordon]

Best Buy Sucks!






Let's be careful out there.

I work in the a/v biz for a specialty company and I am an avid collector of stuff mostly not found at BB...still...always a great place to grab things I need on short notice. It's a catch 22