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I think one of my coworkers crapped his pants


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#41 Cinnamon P.

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 10:43 AM

I've never pooped my pants with a full shit, maybe a little squirt when I tried to fart or something. I did shit on the bathroom floor once though. got the pants all unbuttoned midway through the house, pulled em' down and swung around to sit. guess my body didnt wanna wait for seat contact. that was so bad... luckily no one was home to wonder about me in the bathroom for two hours.
Download this EP I made. The songs are pretty close to where they should be. I colaborated with Brian Wilson and Thom Yorke and then we all fucked in my basement apartment. Thom has a really big dick suprisingly, and Brian Wilson cried the whole time, yelling "These moans are not in perfect harmonic unison". Anyway, it sounds like what you would imagine something from that situation sounds like.



http://www.sendspace.com/file/j8689o

#42 birdistheword

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 11:59 AM

The lesson I gave one small cousin of mine: doesn't matter where you are, if you need to use the bathroom, tell the closest adult immediately (if you're in a store or business of some kind, preferably someone who works there). They will get you to a bathroom IMMEDIATELY. 'course that wouldn't help Eric.

#43 TJENZ

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:03 PM

The lesson I gave one small cousin of mine: doesn't matter where you are, if you need to use the bathroom, tell the closest adult immediately (if you're in a store or business of some kind, preferably someone who works there). They will get you to a bathroom IMMEDIATELY.

unless the store is Old Navy

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#44 birdistheword

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:05 PM

unless the store is Old Navy


Man, I forgot about that. What happened with that lawsuit?

#45 Guest_Smells Like Douche_*

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:10 PM

When I was little I pooped my pants walking. I was in gym of all places and it happened. I asked to go to the bathroom and at first the teacher said no. She then looked at me and realized I was serious. I don't think anyone knew. However, peeing in class was a different story. I hated to ask to use the bathroom in grade school. Let's just say everyday I had to take extra pair of underwear to class. Why did I admit that? *hangs head in shame*

#46 ladytron: the tv series

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:14 PM


Andy, you and I should start a team.


We could get a whole league going.

Peeing in class is hilarious. Especially when you are taking the PSAT (you take this when you are what, like 16, maybe?) and you realize the kid sitting next to you just peed ALL over the his chair and the ground. I dont even remember if that kid asked to leave or not after it happend.

Im sure Rufus and Britkid remember that.
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#47 Guest_Smells Like Douche_*

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:20 PM

We could get a whole league going.

Peeing in class is hilarious. Especially when you are taking the PSAT (you take this when you are what, like 16, maybe?) and you realize the kid sitting next to you just peed ALL over the his chair and the ground. I dont even remember if that kid asked to leave or not after it happend.

Im sure Rufus and Britkid remember that.



I bet that kid was embarassed. When I had my accidents I was probably 7 or 8. Do share the story.

#48 BennyHillsBalls

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:28 PM

anyone ever been to cedar point? i shit myself there when i was a kid. i was coming off the log flume ride and knew i had to go. so i made a beeline for the can but didn't make it. my dad had to help me clean it up and i was there was my best friend. just awful. i was about 22 or so.

ok, i was actually 9-ish.

I've never pooped my pants with a full shit, maybe a little squirt when I tried to fart or something.


those are called "foops."

I crapped my pants once. It was actually diarrhea. I was at softball practice in 4th grade and my dad was my coach. It was the beginning of practice, and I really had to go. My dad is kinda a hardass, so he said "NO! YOU WILL STAY, AND YOU WILL PRACTICE!" Because there were no bathrooms nearby. I started practicing and I couldnt hold it, so I just diarrheaad all in my baseball pants. Now, I didnt want to look foolish, so I didnt say anything, and I kept practicing for the next hour and a half, running after softballs and sliding into bases (very unfomfortable).


this reminds me of that scene in "parenthood" when the kids are singing the "diarrhea" song. there was some line in there about sliding into all the bases (i think).

#49 stella del vinile

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:38 PM

when you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst. diarrhea. diarrhea.
walk out into velvet
nothing more to say
you're my favourite moment
you're my saturday

#50 sKinnY

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 12:46 PM

When you're slidin' into two And your pants are filled with goo Diarrhea, Diarrhea

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#51 BennyHillsBalls

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 01:30 PM

when you're sliding into first and you're feeling something burst. diarrhea. diarrhea.


When you're slidin' into two
And your pants are filled with goo
Diarrhea, Diarrhea



THAT'S what i'm talking about.

#52 fabulous muscles

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Posted 09 May 2007 - 10:40 PM

NECESSARY BUMP LOL
No Homo.

#53 Ennui

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Posted 09 May 2007 - 11:08 PM

this is the greatest thread ever. one time on the way home from the beach with some of my cousins, we were all sitting in the back of a van (with the seats taken out- so cool) and i couldn't wait till we got to lunch. I let it go in the van with my older bro and 4 of my cousins sitting within 5 feet of me. I tried to cover up the fact by blaming it on one of my cousins, and actually got away with it. Incidentally, he had a brown streak along the bottom of his trunks, and everybody blamed him for the stench. Maybe there was something about that van and we both shat our pants at the same time, or maybe somebody was on my side to prevent the humiliation. When i say humiliation, i mean it. About 10 years later, every time we go swimming we make references to that day. I always have my own inner cackle knowing that it was actually me and somebody else is taking the fall.
But among the jackals, the panthers, the bitch hounds, The apes, the scorpions, the vultures, the serpents, The yelping, howling, growling, crawling monsters, In the filthy menagerie of our vices, There is one more ugly, more wicked, more filthy! Although he makes neither great gestures nor great cries, He would willingly make of the earth a shambles And, in a yawn, swallow the world; He is Ennui! — His eye watery as though with tears, He dreams of scaffolds as he smokes his hookah pipe. You know him reader, that refined monster, — Hypocritish reader, — my fellow, — my brother!

#54 Ennui

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Posted 09 May 2007 - 11:09 PM

p.s. lol poop.
But among the jackals, the panthers, the bitch hounds, The apes, the scorpions, the vultures, the serpents, The yelping, howling, growling, crawling monsters, In the filthy menagerie of our vices, There is one more ugly, more wicked, more filthy! Although he makes neither great gestures nor great cries, He would willingly make of the earth a shambles And, in a yawn, swallow the world; He is Ennui! — His eye watery as though with tears, He dreams of scaffolds as he smokes his hookah pipe. You know him reader, that refined monster, — Hypocritish reader, — my fellow, — my brother!

#55 typical pickle conflicts

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Posted 09 May 2007 - 11:38 PM

God, pin this thread or make it into a subforum even. I crapped my pants at Jewel in my late teens when I was so sick I thought I was actually about to die. Trying to clean up in the wrong gender's washroom with a homeless person pounding on the door was about as low as I'd gone up to that point
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#56 typical pickle conflicts

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Posted 09 May 2007 - 11:40 PM

Also so many lols at the detective work in the first post
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#57 theremin

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Posted 10 May 2007 - 12:01 AM

6 months ago, I've got a group of friends together, and we're at this mexican joint. The party dies down, and we're out on the sidewalk. My 14 year old, scrunches his face up like he's farting, but all of a sudden it turns to horror. He runs back inside into the bathroom. He comes back out a couple of minutes later. "I could feel something sliding down my leg". Ewwwww.

#58 scarymuppet

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Posted 10 May 2007 - 01:13 AM

when yer climbing up the ladder and you feel something splatter
BAN ME IF I TALK TO MONTANA

#59 dirty hippie

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Posted 10 May 2007 - 02:12 AM

when you're driving in your chevy and you're feeling something heavy

#60 b17yoe

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Posted 10 May 2007 - 08:02 AM

I was in a Best Buy once. I was buying some speaker cable. Every once in a while, whilst walking around, I was feeling a little rumble in my gut. But it went away fairly quickly. After a few more minutes of searching around for various things, I started to head for the register. As I did, the rumbling and now, pain, got far more intense (as if my stomach was saying, "you think you're going to make the drive home and crap on your own toilet, not a chance!"). By time I got to the register, there was no way I was going to make it home, or even to the car, or possibly even back to the bathroom. I asked the worker where the bathroom was. She pointed me in the right direction and I left my stuff on the checkout counter. I proceeded to run as fast as I could muster to the bathroom. But this wasn't a full out sprint, but rather that awkward, knees-together, butt-clenching sprint....I make it to the bathroom (barely). Thank god there was no one in there. I flew into the stall and pulled off a crap not unlike Jeff Daniels' performance circa Dumb and Dumber. I was amazed I even made it to the bathroom. Another one...when I was in school, I was at a department function. Pizza was provided. At some point during the festivities, the chair realizes we are a little low on pizza and hands me $30 and says to go up to this local place and get a pie. I leave. On the way I feel a dump coming on. I go into the pizza place and order. This place is kind of a walk up joint, just a few tables, no bathroom. So after I order, I go next door to the coffeeshop. Walk over to the bathroom to find it locked. I wait for about 5 minutes and no one comes out. By now, I really have to go AND I don't think I want to go into this bathroom after this guy taking so long. So, I go into the ladies room in hopes of getting done quick and out before any women come to use the toilet. No such luck. Of course, as soon as I pop down on the john, the door knob jiggles. I sit there in frightened silence. I took a little longer than I might have normally hoping they would go away and not be standing by the door when I left. After waiting a while, I head out of the door. There is a young woman standing right there, waiting her turn patiently. I look down and sheepishly say, "Sorry, I really had to go." And proceed to power walk out of the store. Went and got the pizza and back to the party.
Whatever.