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Best Edited Movie Quotes


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#1 caley

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:09 AM

Watching Dodgeball on Fox right now, and it's full of great horribly edited sanitized clips. -the part where Rip Torn says "That dyke can play" was changed to "That lollie can play", yet him calling Justin Long "queer bait" was okay. -the part where Ben Stiller flips off Vince Vaughn and Christine Taylore was edited so that Stiller's middle finger was digitally removed at the knuckle, so coupled with the "nobody makes me bleed my own blood" quote makes it look like she somehow cut off his finger. Anyways, I got me to remembering some of my favourite "Edited for Content" moments. Here's the Top 3. 3. During a movie my dad was watching, "you son of a bitch" got amended to "you slug in a ditch". 2. In Die Hard With A Vengeance, the scene where the terrorist makes John McLane carry a sign reading "I hate niggers" into Harlem to get beaten up by the black guys was edited so that the sign read "I Hate Everybody", making their sudden attack of him much more puzzling, as they are the most sensitive street toughs I've ever seen. Also, in the same movie, "you racist motherfucker!" got changed to "you racist melon father!" which then became my most-said saying in high school. 1. In the original Die Hard, John McLane's seminal "Yippee Ki-Yay, motherfucker!" was edited into the much more interesting "Yippee Ki-Yay Mister Falcon!"

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#2 Pavement Ist Rad

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:17 AM

There was one in a censored version of Dazed & Confused that changed "That bitch! I can't believe she called me a slut!" to "That bimbo! I can't believe she called me a" and I can't for the life of me remember what the last word of that was, but I remember it being hilariously awesome.

Also, in Speed or Speed 2 or some movie:

"Fuck you!"

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"Forget you!"
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#3 undo

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:21 AM

What About Bob had a lot of this. Tourettes Syndrome becomes "buddies disease" and the scene where Bob and Sigmund are jumping on the bed was pretty much redone. I guess you can't call someone "dingleberry butt" or "turkey tits" on TV. I don't remember what they changed those to, though.

#4 undo

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:21 AM

delete

#5 no magnets

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:23 AM

1. In the original Die Hard, John McLane's seminal "Yippee Ki-Yay, motherfucker!" was edited into the much more interesting "Yippee Ki-Yay Mister Falcon!"

this is a classic. <br><br>

and, of course:<br>

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.c...></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.c...fMbQW3Fs&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

#6 theremin

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:28 AM

Absolute best is the Big Lebowski This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass = This is what happens when you meet a stranger in the alps.

#7 no magnets

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:54 AM

This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass = This is what happens when you meet a stranger in the alps.

i know someone who says they saw this edited to "this is what happens when you feed a horse scrambled eggs."

scarface has a good one with "where'd you get the beauty scar, tough guy, eating pussy?" into "where'd you get the beauty scar, tough guy, eating pineapple?"

#8 typical pickle conflicts

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 01:41 AM

mom i'd like to feeeeeeeeeel
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#9 Mitchell

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 02:07 AM

I don't know how you put up with that shit.
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#10 velocity

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 02:31 AM

Land of the free, home of the brave... :rolleyes: ...MY ASH!

#11 Hewletts Daughter

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 02:43 AM

1. In the original Die Hard, John McLane's seminal "Yippee Ki-Yay, motherfucker!" was edited into the much more interesting "Yippee Ki-Yay Mister Falcon!"

this is a classic. <br><br>

and, of course:<br>

<object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.c...></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.c...fMbQW3Fs&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>

You beat me to it

Absolute classic, especially the thumbs up
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#12 Kennan

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 02:53 AM

national lampoon's vacation sticks in my head cuz i watched it so often as a kid... the grizwald's car breaks down in detroit? maybe, and they're in the ghetto. clark asks for help. and what was "Well fuck you momma" becomes "who do you think i am christopher columbo?"
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#13 dave9199

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 08:19 AM

I remember how in Repo Man fuck became flip. Flip you Flip off Go flip yourself It's twice as flipping funny this way.

#14 n-infusino

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 11:44 AM

I always liked the animated bikinis/lingerie overlayed on Elizabeth Berkley when VH1 runs "Showgirls."

#15 Hero

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:33 PM

2. In Die Hard With A Vengeance, the scene where the terrorist makes John McLane carry a sign reading "I hate niggers" into Harlem to get beaten up by the black guys was edited so that the sign read "I Hate Everybody",



that is the first thing that came to mind when i saw this thread
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"After much thought into this, I have finally come to a conclusion as to why the ‘Meet the Spartans’ commercial is so funny:

It is an interesting choice to have Sanjaya sing ‘I’m not gay,’ as his final words on earth. As he is plummeting into a seemingly bottomless pit, he does not say ‘dear god no,’ ‘I love you mom,’ or even simply ‘argh.’ He instead takes the moment to reaffirm to the world, in spite of their doubts, that he is not a homosexual. Not only that, but he continues to sing, despite falling to his certain death. The distinct lack of plausibility of this situation is what produces giggles from our mouth. It is the antithesis to the belief that ‘it’s funny because it is true.’
"


#16 sKinnY

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:38 PM

from weird Science: when chet says to the lovely Kelly Labrock "I'd really like to butter your muffin" on tv is "i'd like to better get to know ya muffin".

"what kind of moe cop doesn't give her the old suck on my balls warning?

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#17 no magnets

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:51 PM

2. In Die Hard With A Vengeance, the scene where the terrorist makes John McLane carry a sign reading "I hate niggers" into Harlem to get beaten up by the black guys was edited so that the sign read "I Hate Everybody",

that is the first thing that came to mind when i saw this thread

interestingly, the "i hate everybody" sign was how they filmed it. "i hate niggers" was added in later for the film.

#18 bleach

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 12:58 PM

i never remember any of them. anybody see training day on tv? i wanna know what they used to replace 'ever have you shit pushed in booyyyy?'

Absolute best is the Big Lebowski
This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass = This is what happens when you meet a stranger in the alps.

somehow this one works.
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#19 Complain

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 01:54 PM

The Breakfast Club is one of the funnier edited for TV movies...they dont even try to match up words to lip movements.

All my life i wanted to be black.
Until i saw your picture, now i wanna be you.


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#20 MattDrufke

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Posted 23 November 2007 - 07:16 PM

from weird Science:

when chet says to the lovely Kelly Labrock "I'd really like to butter your muffin" on tv is "i'd like to better get to know ya muffin".



For some reason, the edit seems dirtier to me.

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