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100 best Fundie quotes of all time


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#1 Tony

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 12:38 PM

"If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys"


"Technology makes peoples lives easier. Technology is the product of inventive geniuses who were inspired by God. Inventions and innovations improve life. Science causes confustion and makes things complicated. Everytime there is a new discovery the old discoveries and old wisdom are discarded! And theories get more and more complex. Science makes people confused and complicates things. Who is the author of confusion? Satan of course. The bible it the opposite of science. Biblical wisdom NEVER CHANGES"


"To say the Bible was written by men and may contain inaccuracies completely contradicts the word of the Bible."


Look at this!

#2 Diesel

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 12:53 PM

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!" LOL. Funny site.

#3 TJENZ

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 01:00 PM

I had no idea that I'm actually Muslim

No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims.



#4 Waylon

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 01:02 PM

I had no idea that I'm actually Muslim

Between the devil in your avatar and the Obama link in your signature, I don't understand how there was ever any doubt.

Still waiting for Slackmo to delete this thread.


#5 Jipper

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 01:18 PM

I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie


lol

#6 Jimmy TKB

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 02:05 PM

Most ignorant post yet, wow:


"A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire. "

#7 sin city

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 02:09 PM

a new bedtime story for the kids: Athiests as a Majority This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests. ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker. ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son. ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive." ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon! The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later. ATHIEST DAD: Hey! ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life." ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want! ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom. ATHIEST DAD: Why not? ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking eachother in there. ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here? ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet. ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me! Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house. ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside! ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there! The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods. RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian! THE END
"even boarding in non-signature-view mode i feel your lists of concerts (no one cares) last.fm bullshit (ditto) and oversized .jpgs (srsly fuck off) may distract from my superior posts."

#8 undo

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 02:10 PM

Hardly any of these are real quotes. edit: don't get me wrong, I still think this is amazing: "You are banned. You are not a Christian for Christians don't accuse brothers and sisters in Christ of being non-Christian."

#9 Jimmy TKB

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 02:17 PM

Hardly any of these are real quotes.

o ye of little faith

#10 Slrpy Nozzell

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 02:20 PM

That site just ate up my lunch hour. I never knew athiest = satanist. Neat-o.

#11 Tony

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Posted 26 February 2008 - 02:30 PM

Most ignorant post yet, wow:


"A woman wants to abort a rape child? She should have thought of that before she walked down that dark alley without a male prescence, not to mention she should have thought before putting on revealing attire. [/b]"



Is 'prescence' another word for sperm?

#12 Tony

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Posted 27 February 2008 - 08:43 PM

"Apes are just creatures twisted by Satan to mock Jesus by giving EVILolition credibility. Further more they are naturally lust crazed for human women. Since they are not natural creatures they should be exterminated forthwith as the tools of evil they are."

#13 Montana

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Posted 27 February 2008 - 08:59 PM

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!"



:lol:
Every Sunday morning I wake up
I see you by your dresser doing your make-up
Fluttering a Chinese fan in a Knoxville fashion
All last night you tossed and turned
Your body was hotter than the night Richmond burned
You say you had a bad nightmare about tractor trailers crashing
- The Felice Brothers

#14 Damo Suzuki

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Posted 27 February 2008 - 09:06 PM

Why are religious fundamentalists so concerned about human/animal intercourse? Such an odd preoccupation. And gravity. Christians hate gravity.
"One can't love man without hating most of the creatures who pretend to bear his name."

#15 brainstorm

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Posted 27 February 2008 - 09:11 PM

Some of it is hilarious, unless you think about it. Then it's terrifying.
"So?" - Dick Cheney