39 replies to this topic

[Thee AP]

Okay kiddos...

I need some first time advice from some of the more learned & experienced.

I have accepted an invitation to be the head coach on my sons baseball team!
Cool huh? They are 4 through 6 year olds. Should be entertaining.

Problem is, I've never coached a ball team before.

I played baseball, softball & football from age 6 through highschool. But this...This is different. You know, all the hot soccer moms trying to "bed me" and the angry hockey dads trying to kill me....What words of wisdom does the SOMB hold for THIS?

[sin city]

baseball is the hardest thing to coach, especially at this age, because of all the time in between actual plays. Get ready for dirt castles, grass fights, butterfly chasing, etc.

Work on:

1. Learning and then running the bases. Telling them to run to 1st base is like screaming at them in Sanskrit- they don't know what the hell you're talking about.

2. Making sure they don't throw the bat after finally hitting the ball on their 71st attempt. They will throw the bat. Every one of them. And it will most likely come right at you.

3. Separate the infield into sections, then make sure that each player only plays a ball that is in their section. Failure to do this will result in something similar to a rugby scrum on every ball hit into the infield.

4. Forget about outfielders. They are not needed.

5. There will be one kid on your team who will not even acknowledge your presence, regardless of how loud you shout his name or how many times. His parent will most likely not be paying attention either. Do not strangle this child. Try not to laugh when he gets gaught flush in the face with a line drive.

6. Forget the idea of bedding a hot soccer mom- as far as they're concerned, you're just another babysitter.

7. Be aware of the hockey dads, who know in their heart of hearts that they are a much better coach than you'll ever be, and their son/daughter will be a major leaguer some day.

8. The kid who talks about how good he is and shows up with batting gloves on both hands and Oakley shades most likely sucks major ass. Don't bother trying to coach him, because he won't listen anyways.

9. Have fun!

[Rad Monkey]

You know, they have books about this. Also, just focus on fundamental skills (Not being afraid of the ball would probably be high on the list at this age) and the kids having fun. I mean, seriously...don't be the douche who uses double switches and double steals with 5 year olds. Just make sure the develop good habits so they don't get injured (good form), they're not gonna master the game at that age. edit: Why would soccer moms be at a baseball game? Soccer moms the leading cause of bad soccer in this country. DEATH TO SOCCER MOMS AND THEIR SPAWN!

[brainstorm]

Don't overcompensate with your son - in order not to show favoritism, don't make him the 'goat.

[velocity]

Is this: t-ball, underhand pitching by coach, or underhand pitching by kid? In any event, wear a cup and be sure your little catcher (at least) wears a cup. Best if they all do, except the girls. And if your kid is a pitcher and he sucks, please don't leave him in to walk 20 batters and then finally send in a reliever with the bases loaded. I would say 3-5 walks in one inning is plenty. edit: don't refer to moms as "snack shack hags."

[avec]

don't touch their weiners

[bleach]

right around mid-season ask your son who he dislikes the most and then after a game find that kid and make him cry in front of the entire team until he pees his pants. when all of the kids are done laughing and throwing their gloves at this player be sure to high five your kid.

[worrywort]

After a victory, treat the team to an Orange Lazarus

[Rob Gordon]

I've been a soccer coach for about 6 years. Started when my son was about your son's age. Mainly have fun and treat every kid like your own. Make sure everyone plays the same amount of time. At this age it's hardly even about fundamentals. Hell, it's about making sure they run to the right base. If, by the end of the season they can throw the ball toward the right base that'll be a good season.

[Rad Monkey]

I've been a soccer coach for about 6 years.
Started when my son was about your son's age.
Mainly have fun and treat every kid like your own.
Make sure everyone plays the same amount of time.
At this age it's hardly even about fundamentals. Hell, it's about making sure they run to the right base. If, by the end of the season they can throw the ball toward the right base that'll be a good season.

How is it coaching soccer, I'd like to give that a try.
Maybe I can find the next ronaldhino.

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[Rob Gordon]

I've been a soccer coach for about 6 years.
Started when my son was about your son's age.
Mainly have fun and treat every kid like your own.
Make sure everyone plays the same amount of time.
At this age it's hardly even about fundamentals. Hell, it's about making sure they run to the right base. If, by the end of the season they can throw the ball toward the right base that'll be a good season.

How is it coaching soccer, I'd like to give that a try.
Maybe I can find the next ronaldhino.

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I love it. My kid loves that I coach, and it's fun and gratifying. Don't think I could coach much longer though. At about 6th grade you start to lose the kids with really no talent and it becomes more about prep for competitive soccer. That's much more work and coaching then I really have time for. Plus I don't think my son's gonna take it that far.

[zolacolby]

baseball is the hardest thing to coach, especially at this age, because of all the time in between actual plays. Get ready for dirt castles, grass fights, butterfly chasing, etc.

Work on:

1. Learning and then running the bases. Telling them to run to 1st base is like screaming at them in Sanskrit- they don't know what the hell you're talking about.

2. Making sure they don't throw the bat after finally hitting the ball on their 71st attempt. They will throw the bat. Every one of them. And it will most likely come right at you.

3. Separate the infield into sections, then make sure that each player only plays a ball that is in their section. Failure to do this will result in something similar to a rugby scrum on every ball hit into the infield.

4. Forget about outfielders. They are not needed.

5. There will be one kid on your team who will not even acknowledge your presence, regardless of how loud you shout his name or how many times. His parent will most likely not be paying attention either. Do not strangle this child. Try not to laugh when he gets gaught flush in the face with a line drive.

6. Forget the idea of bedding a hot soccer mom- as far as they're concerned, you're just another babysitter.

7. Be aware of the hockey dads, who know in their heart of hearts that they are a much better coach than you'll ever be, and their son/daughter will be a major leaguer some day.

8. The kid who talks about how good he is and shows up with batting gloves on both hands and Oakley shades most likely sucks major ass. Don't bother trying to coach him, because he won't listen anyways.

9. Have fun!

lol...Sin, where did you ever gain such insight?
And not a spiteful thought in the post.

[tweed]

Ha, had the same thought as Zolacolby. Great post, sin. It's never to early to throw curve balls. Give the weaker players steroids. Win at all costs.

[KaBoom21]

I watched a buddy of mine coach a 6 yr old team in Atlanta. Team newsletter, keeping stats, coaches wanting to bet on the games, parents yelling instructions at their kids as they're walking to the batters box - unfuckingreal. The "dugout moms" seemed like a good idea. Handled the snack assignments and kept things in order in the dugout.

[Agrimorfee]

This thread reeks of an ABC family-oriented sitcom episode. This should be interesting. We demand a weekly report on your (hopeful) success.

[sin city]

lol...Sin, where did you ever gain such insight?
And not a spiteful thought in the post.

experience. real world experience.

yeah, dugout Mom is a must, as is at least 1 assistant coach. Also, when your team is in the dugout have them sit on the bench in the order that they bat. Makes it soooo much easier.

[el douche]

After a victory, treat the team to an Orange Lazarus

FUCK YES

[Thee AP]

This thread reeks of an ABC family-oriented sitcom episode. This should be interesting. We demand a weekly report on your (hopeful) success.

Great Idea. I will post my findings and thoughts as the season progresses.

experience. real world experience.

yeah, dugout Mom is a must, as is at least 1 assistant coach. Also, when your team is in the dugout have them sit on the bench in the order that they bat. Makes it soooo much easier.

No doubt, I wanted to let you know that I printed your post last night and put it on my nightstand! Very good insight which 'Coaching For Dummies' doesn't even approach. Thanks man. That was great.


Tonight is the first coaches meeting & draft. DRAFT!?!?! what the hell??? We draft kids & assistants?

We'll see!



btw...I am totally stoked. I went to bed last night giggling and smiling about being my kids ball coach.

[sin city]

if you do have an assistant (hopefully 2 dads or moms on the team will volunteer to help on a consistent basis) separate the kids into small groups and have them work on fundamentals- 1 group running the bases, one group tossing the ball, another group swinging the bat, and just rotate them- keeping everyone involved is key.