should I tell my parents I'm dating a 50 year old?
Posted 18 May 2008 - 08:38 AM
Posted 18 May 2008 - 08:51 AM
Posted 18 May 2008 - 08:59 AM
The problem is you live in their house
Exactly. Good overall advice there. Don't think they'd kick me out, they're good parents and generally supportive of me. But I can see them disagreeing with what I'm doing. (find someone your own age!) and yeah that makes sense but shit happens.
Posted 18 May 2008 - 09:24 AM
So I'm 28 and living at home again (yeah, yeah, I'm saving up to buy a house and almost there). And when I go places my parents still ask questions naturally. Especially when I have a girlfriend/date (a momentous occasion to them!). Or when I spend the night somewhere (who will you be with, stay safe etc).
I don't have a problem with what I'm doing but I'm worried about how I should break it to my parents. Should I just continuously lie that I'm spending the night at a friends place (during the work week, wtf?)
I guess I could just tell my 'rents she's older than me and leave it at that. But if my mom found out she's almost her age, then man I don't know what she'd do.
Definitely tell them - lying to parents sucks. You just feel ashamed of yourself all the time after awhile. But if your having a date is a momentous occasion, they're gonna have to put their money where their mouths are and be happy you've found anyone.
Posted 18 May 2008 - 09:37 AM
Posted 18 May 2008 - 09:45 AM
Tell them it could be worse. She could be pregnant.
Actually it may be worse the other way. If they envision grandchildren, a 50 year woman isn't going to be providing that.
Posted 18 May 2008 - 09:48 AM
Posted 18 May 2008 - 09:51 AM
Posted 18 May 2008 - 09:56 AM
you're living my dream, avec.
I just want to do this thang without any societal/cultural implications but I guess it's more complicated than that. I have to think it through.
Thank you SOMB and sorry for the creepy thread
Posted 18 May 2008 - 10:41 AM
22 years older? Wow. My long-term ex (7 year relationship) was only 5 years younger than me and I always worried about the age difference. Not in terms of what people would think because I didn't give a crap about that, but I was concerned about the issues that might eventually arise because we had somewhat different life experiences. I always attract younger guys for some reason (I like to think it's because I look younger than I am) even though traditionally the man is usually older in a relationship. Over the past year I've actually briefly dated a couple of guys in their early twenties (I'm 33) and currently I have a guy I used to work with who is 10 years younger trying to pursue me. The thing is I never get deeply involved with these guys because I know it would never work long-term. They are great guys, but we are in different places in our lives and have different experiences and goals. However, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with casually dating them. I say if you enjoy each others company why the hell not?
This sounds like a gender reversal. Isn't it the girl who's dating the older guy? Ha.
Anyhow, as for your situation I'd say if you are living with your parents you should tell them. They pretty much have the right to know. And yeah, any normal parent would flip out. I imagine it's sort of like telling them your gay. All their dreams of you finding a beautiful young wife and making babies are probably going to be smashed. But in the end it's your life and you have the right to do whatever you want.
Red is right
Posted 18 May 2008 - 10:45 AM
Posted 18 May 2008 - 12:57 PM
Exactly my thought going into my current relationship, which was a 9 year difference. I knew it'd be fun, and I figured it'd end in a month. Glad I was wrong. Then again, with me at 39 and him at 30, that's a whole lot different than 33 vs. 23. Pretty sure my head would be where yours is at.
The thing is I never get deeply involved with these guys because I know it would never work long-term. They are great guys, but we are in different places in our lives and have different experiences and goals. However, that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with casually dating them. I say if you enjoy each others company why the hell not?
The cougar thing has definitely caught on, though. Can't tell you how many guys in their early 20s have asked me out this year. Never used to happen, at least not this blatantly "be my Mrs. Robinson."
Posted 18 May 2008 - 01:45 PM
Posted 18 May 2008 - 02:06 PM