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#1 Agrimorfee

Agrimorfee

    Too nice for his own good

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Posted 21 May 2008 - 05:06 PM

from May 9

Excerpted transcript from "Talk About The Noise" radio program, broadcast on WXXX-FM, June 12, 2000:)

Peter Bedding: So we are back. Thanks for tuning in, we got a great show for Talk About The Noise for you all tonight. As always, I am Peter Bedding, a music critic for the Crystal Lake Herald.

Joe DeProfundis: And I am Joe DeProfundis, I'm a pop music critic for the Elgin Trumpet. Peter, what are doing on the show again? (giggles)

PB: You lost the bet, Joe, so you must pay the consequences.

JD: Oh crackerjacks, They don't pay me enough for this side-bar job.

PB: Ha-ha! OK folks, let me explain what's going on. Joe here wanted to do a show tonight on Conway Twitty's influence on Johnny Cash, and *I* wanted to devote tonight's broadcast to the musical legacy of The Anderson Council.

JD:The least talented band in the history of rock.

PB: Right, of course, that's your opinion, Joe.

JD:Yeah, so this came up like, last week, after we went out to Jolie's after the show. You, me, and Mr. Hand...

Mr. Hand: Yowza!

PB: Yes, our lovely and talented producer Harry Handel--

JD: And Julie the phone girl, we were all arguing about which topic we would cover for this week's show--

PB: Meaning today, right here.

JD: Uh, huh, so--I hot just--no, we were all just about in our collective cups, at about 3am. You kept goin' "Joe, we GOTTA do Anderson Council, we GOTTA do Anderson Council!"

PB: And you snapped, "What do you wanna do to NOT do an Anderson Council show topic?"

JD: So I countered with, "If I can drink a shot of whisky, 1 for every 45 seconds, for the next 10 minutes and 49 seconds without passing out"--the length of The Doors' classic 'The End'", which happened to be available on the jukebox--"then we will do the show I wanna do about Conway Twitty."

PB: Ha-ha-ha!! And guess who was kissing the floor by 'Father I want to kill you...."?

JD: Well, I'm not getting any younger, ya know!

PB: You lost!

HH: So now, gentlemen, what does this mean for our lucky listeners?

PB: It means we get to talk about the lasting impact of this great, great--

JD: HA!

PB: --band!

JD: As usual, Peter, you are off your chain. This band sucked in the '60s, they sucked in the '70s, they sucked in the 80s, and if they ever scrape together the foetal matter that is Wang, Shriner, Gilless and Lakes and got Brian Eno to produce a new album, it would suck too!

PB (singing:) "This is the end, my only friend..."

JD: Pgffft!! We'll be back in a moment...

"Is everyone on here just an act sometimes?"--Hummingbird

Read all of my stupid song parodies here. Latest song improved/ruined: "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Alice Cooper.

 

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