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The SOMB Top 300 Favorite Artists Of All Time - Results Thread


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#1421 norton

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 12:39 PM

SOMB Says: They were wrong, completely wrong, about everything really, and they kinda sucked, and were ugly, and no one really liked them, not here anyway, never even heard of em, only the weirdoes, because every song–every song—sounded exactly the same, just a different order of the three or four chords they could be bothered to learn, and Joey couldn't sing, could barely speak, sounded as goofy as he looked, at eight feet tall, 67 pounds, and god that mug, and the leather jacket and the jeans, just like his brothers, and they weren't even brothers for fucksakes, and their guitarist was a fucking Republican, Johnny, god rest his soul, and they couldn't even live to old age, Joey Johnny Deedee, gone before nearly every goddamn Rolling Stone, though maybe that helps, but it's just another thing, and they trotted this out, actually in front of people, called it rocknroll, actually didn't bother calling it anything, didn't give a fuck what anyone called it, what they said, just went out there, at a country western bar, or was it a homeless shelter, but they kicked out the jams, barely taking a second to breath between songs, arguing onstage, no set list, just a bunch of simple pop tunes, sped the fuck up, Tommy or Marky or whoever pounding the drums, who could keep up, really, and Johnny and Deedee attacking their instruments, Joey bleeting about huffing, and horror movies, and beating up children, like a smartass, and it came together, but it was chaos, and it was mayhem, and it was rocknroll, because it lived, it burned, it couldn't be stopped, and no one listened, only the weirdoes, but they got it, were right, were right all along. – Duff

Damn near perfection in blurbing.

So far, this one and Hewletts Daughter's are my faves.

#1422 Slackmo

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 12:43 PM

Jesus Christmas Trees Duff. Stellar.
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#1423 Waylon

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 12:46 PM

Great blurb Duff.

Still waiting for Slackmo to delete this thread.


#1424 Duff.

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 12:49 PM

Thanks guys. Humbled.

No, it'll be stupid, and we're already doing something stupid.
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#1425 Johnny's Shack

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 12:51 PM

there's no way your life can be any better than mine if you spent that much time earnestly writing about siamese dream you cocksucking faggot


The Pumpkins are more important to me than a lot of things, so I'm okay with the 7 hours I invested in my Blurb. But 10 years from now, when I look back on it, I'll know that I wrote one of the best damn Blurbs, period. Yeah, I would have liked to had the honor of the Weezer Blurb - I think I would have rose to the occasion and knocked her right out of the park - but since I haven't racked up 18,000 posts blabbering about my Johnson and how it hasn't been put to use since 'Nam, I wasn't bestowed that honor. But I'm more than okay with just being the average old Joe who, somehow, churned out a Pumpkins Blurb for the ages.

#1426 Efrim

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 12:51 PM

Outstanding.

#1427 Paul

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 12:52 PM

Home - Is Where I Want To Be
But I Guess I'm Already There

#27.


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Talking Heads (1513 Points, 29 Votes, 1 #1 Vote)


Years Active
: 1974-1991

SOMB Says: They dressed like Students, they dressed like Housewives, and they all but invented Geek Rock with Talking Heads '77. But when they added producer Brian Eno to the mix on More Songs About Buildings and Food the focus shifted from David Byrne's brainy lyrics to Tina Weymouth and Chris Frantz' ass shaking rhythms, which remained the increasing focus of the band's music for two more albums afterwards: the dancable but minor keyed Fear of Music with it's addition of Adrian Belew on Guitar and Ari Up of the Slits on Percussion, and the African Polyrhythmic and lyrically lighter Remain in Light with it's addition of a Horn section, more Congueros, and Dance Diva Nona Hendryx on backing vocals (The changes the band went through from '77 to Remain in Light can best be seen on The Name of this Band is Talking Heads, but I don't even know if it was ever released on CD. I've got the LP version around here somewhere...).

After a long series of tours, several solo albums and a little time off, the band went back into the studio with even more session musicians, and without Eno, for what was their best selling album, '83's Speaking in Tongues, which included their only Top Ten single, the funky, jerky "Burning Down the House." The band may have expanded for this recording session (13 sidemen?!?), but they turned out a brighter, airier mix with light & bouncy tempos and a return to a geekier lyrical content. The band's tour supporting the album was then filmed by Jonathan Demme for Stop Making Sense, one of the best concert movies ever (although a lackluster album, it only had 9 of the songs used in the movie, and those were edited, tweaked & remixed to mud, but I've heard the reissue repairs all those failings).

Following this tour de force was the light Pop record Little Creatures, where Byrne writes and sings about levitating suburban housewives and keeping Weymouth & Franz' son up past his bedtime. And these songs were written by David Byrne instead of being worked up by the band from riffs & jams with lyrics being added over the top like some kind of cut & paste frosting spread over a dense cake of angular rhythms. This being followed by the disappointing True Stories, which continued the band's Byrne-penned doldrums of Little Creatures, with the extra added pain of having John Goodman singing in the movie version. The only saving grace of True Stories was the band's use of Americana without pandering to the genres they're raiding. And maybe the fact that Radiohead named themselves after one of the songs.

After two years off the band released what turned out to be their last album: '88's Naked, which, thankfully, found the band back in a funky shape reminiscent of the days when Brian Eno was twiddling their knobs, with Samba rhythms and goofy calls to replace all those damnedable flowers with 7/11s, billboards and shopping malls. This was followed by a long hiatus and an eventual breakup of the band when Byrne wanted to just do solo records. - Freddie Freelance

Album Pick: Although I love about 1/2 the band's albums I'd have to put Remain in Light at the top of the list for it's breadth & depth of songwriting and great use of all the extra musicians brought on board for the recording & subsequent tour: Adrian Belew on Guitar, P-Funk Keyboard wizard Bernie Worrell, Nona Hendryx (the best part of LaBelle. :wub: ) on backing vocals, brilliant percussionist David Van Tieghem, etc. The songs veer from the jerky Funk of "Burning Down the House" to the wind-up toy R&B of "Girlfriend is Better" to the Synthiod Blues Stomp of "Swamp" to the tranquil happiness of "This Must Be the Place," while still obviously being the product of the same band.

Track Picks: Three from Talking Heads

Ranked Highest By: cpl-593h (#1)

Also Ranked By: killerparties (#2), falling and laughing, Hewletts Daughter (#4)

#1428 Undercooked Sausage

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 12:54 PM

there's no way your life can be any better than mine if you spent that much time earnestly writing about siamese dream you cocksucking faggot


The Pumpkins are more important to me than a lot of things, so I'm okay with the 7 hours I invested in my Blurb. But 10 years from now, when I look back on it, I'll know that I wrote one of the best damn Blurbs, period. Yeah, I would have liked to had the honor of the Weezer Blurb - I think I would have rose to the occasion and knocked her right out of the park - but since I haven't racked up 18,000 posts blabbering about my Johnson and how it hasn't been put to use since 'Nam, I wasn't bestowed that honor. But I'm more than okay with just being the average old Joe who, somehow, churned out a Pumpkins Blurb for the ages.

you're a real humble guy.

seven hours, huh, in seven hours i had sex with two black women, had a cuban cigar and ran over your grandparents house w/ a monster truck

i am fairly certain i accomplished more w/ my time
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#1429 Paul

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:00 PM

Somewhere I Have Heard This Before
In A Dream My Memory Has Stored
As A Defense I'm Neutered And Spayed
What The Hell Am I Trying To Say


#26.


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Nirvana (1523 Points, 28 Votes)


Years Active
: 1987-1994

SOMB Says: It took years for me to remember that Kurt Cobain was dead.

Over and over I would think to myself, "I wonder when a new Nirvana album is going to come out...", and be reminded again that there would be no new Nirvana album. Of course, it didn't help that Nirvana had posthumous releases come out, MTV Unplugged in New York coming 7 months after Cobain's death, and the Live compilation From the Muddy Banks of the Wishkah 2 years after that.

It's hard to believe that someone could possibly forget such a thing. The death of Kurt Cobain seems to me to be one of the biggest tragedies of the 90's. Hell, one of the biggest tragedies in music ever. It seems like Cobain's death is the 90's Titanic, JFK, and 9/11. It seemed to effect everyone. There are a million Nirvana cover songs. There are conspiracy theories galore. There is Courtney Love. Am I wrong to think that most people between the age of 20 and 50 right now remember where they were when they first heard that Kurt Cobain was dead?

And it goes without saying that "Smells Like Teen Spirit" was the atom bomb. Certainly, just as many people probably remember where they were the first time they heard it.

By my recollection, it was mid-October 1991. Dead Billy and I were in the parking lot by Rose Records in Vernon Hills. I'm fairly certain that we were in my parent's car. He busted out a tape, and said, "we have to listen to this, I just got this from _____ (time has erased whose tape it was), it's the new Nirvana album". Now, I'm almost certain neither of us had heard the LAST Nirvana album, but I'm also almost certain that we knew about them, because they were mentioned in the Bible. Not THAT Bible, but the Trouser Press Record Guide, that mangled, tattered, highlighted book that we seemed to always reference.

I remember buying the CD that very weekend. And picking up an Illinois Entertainer, and seeing that they had just played the week before at the Cabaret Metro. After listening to Nevermind 100,000 times over the next couple months, I was obviously hooked.

But of course, I never saw Nirvana in concert. Apparently they hated Chicago. Was it because this is where the Smashing Pumpkins were? Was it because Kurt fucked Courtney Love for the first time here? They only came to Chicago once after they reached superstardom. In a great twist of fate, it was the same week or month that James Brown was playing. "I'm sure Nirvana will be back around soon", I thought, "James Brown could die at any time". Kurt Cobain died 6 months later. James Brown lived more than 12 more years, and played the area countless times. (In another fantastic twist of fate, I was also annoyed that The Meat Puppets were not opening for this leg of the tour, and hoped that they would be back with them. I finally saw The Meat Puppets last week and they were horrible.)

All this, and I haven't said shit about the music. But what the fuck, do I really need to? This is Fucking Nirvana. There isn't anyone here that doesn't know who they are. This is like blurbing the fucking Beatles, fuck that. – theremin

Album Pick: In Utero

Track Picks: “About A Girl”
“Smells Like Teen Spirit” (http://rapidshare.co...9/SLTS.rar.html - 25 cover versions)
“Radio Friendly Unit Shifter”

Bonus:
The three best Nirvana concerts

3) 1992.08.30 - Reading Festival - Reading, England
http://rapidshare.co...ngland.rar.html

2) 1993.12.31 - Oakland Coliseum Arena - Oakland,CA
http://rapidshare.co...and_CA.rar.html

Mix CD
http://rapidshare.co...Tracks.rar.html

Ranked Highest By: The Truth, MuteSuperstar (#2)

Also Ranked By: cerebralcaustic, Mike Schank (#3)

#1430 velocity

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:01 PM

Nice blurbs everyone, but Duff's is beyond fab.

#1431 Mitchell

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:01 PM

"Ask" as a Smiths pick, are you joking?
Nice bowl of Crunchy Nut you got here, pretty expensive as I recall.

#1432 Nick

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:05 PM

Christ, Paul! Why haven't you spent your time here memorizing Nick's musical proclivities. This slight will be remembered and severely punished.


I am trying to have a mature conversation w/ Paul about his fucking me over WRT to a blurb for The Afghan Whigs & you have to interject like some smelly twat. I don't understand why you felt the need to do that.

#1433 54cermak

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:06 PM

"Ask" as a Smiths pick, are you joking?


Sorry dude, those are my 3 favorite Smiths songs. It was a tough call, but "Ask" was the easy choice for me -- a song that never fails to get my full attention. If you don't like it, name your own picks.

#1434 Undercooked Sausage

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:07 PM

can't figure out why velocity has lowered herself to the personality of a common miserable troll lately she is better than that. used to actually like her
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#1435 Sam

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:07 PM

Give Duff a fucking Pulitzer.
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#1436 Slackmo

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:08 PM

"Ask" is the Smiths' "Shiny Happy People."
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#1437 Waylon

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:11 PM

Guys, can we put a moratorium on "Why didn't you include _____ in your track picks?" comments?

Still waiting for Slackmo to delete this thread.


#1438 Paul

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:12 PM

My Tires Were Slashed And I Almost Crashed But The Lord Had Mercy
My Machine She's A Dud, I'm Stuck In The Mud Somewhere In The Swamps Of Jersey

#25.


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Bruce Springsteen (1593 Points, 26 Votes, 1 #1 Vote)


Years Active
: 1972-present

SOMB Says: Do you remember when your love of music started?

Being the youngest of seven kids, and having parents that always enjoyed music, I heard a lot of different stuff growing up. From Sarah Vaughan, Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra to Petula Clark, The Association and The Mamas & the Papas; from The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, Bob Dylan, and Gordon Lightfoot, to Barbara Streisand and Bette Midler; from Motown and Memphis to Tin Pan Alley and Haight Ashbury -- it was all there for my consumption. But it wasn’t until October of 1975 that I heard something that stopped me in my tracks. Something that I could call my own.

I walked into the kitchen and my brother was looking at a magazine. I asked him what he was reading and he held up an issue of Time and said, “An article about this guy,” pointing toward our living room. In that instant, hearing “Born to Run” blasting from our old Magnavox home entertainment center, I realized what music was supposed to sound like. It was huge, but intimate. It was raw, but refined. It spoke of isolation and unity. Escape and surrender. It was intended to be Bob Dylan sung by Roy Orbison produced by Phil Spector, and it was (although I had no idea who two of those people were at the time).

A lot of time has passed since then – nearly 33 years – and I’ve gone from being a somewhat dorky 8th grader to a thoroughly dorky oldster. Between then and now, there have been a lot of good times and a few bad ones, but virtually every step of the way, music has been there to mark those times, and the music of Bruce Springsteen has been there more than any other.

It was there with songs like “Rosalita” and “Jungleland” as I came out of my shell in high school. It was there on countless nights as me and my buddies blasted around the northwest suburbs to “Sherry Darling” and The Detroit Medley, doing our best to get into and then out of trouble. It was there with a song called “Wreck on the Highway” when my brother was killed by a drunk driver. It was there 5 weeks later when I met my future bride. It was there a week after that when we first kissed to “Born to Run” (another story). “The River” was there when a good friend got a girl pregnant, and there was a lot of Springsteen played at their wedding reception, the night my wife and I got engaged. It was there with “Living Proof” when we discovered the wonders of raising our children. Songs like “If I Should Fall Behind” have been there when our marriage has flowed smoothly, and others like “One Step Up” have been there when it hasn’t. At times, Bruce’s music has caused me to examine who I am and it’s inspired me to work at who I want to be. And lest I forget, all along the way it’s entertained the hell out me.

Now, I’m not here to argue whether or not Bruce is the best musician or songwriter of all time, and I acknowledged that others have perhaps been more influential than him. But the thing of it is, for a lot of us, that stuff doesn’t matter. What matters is the connection we have with the man and his music.

So, 33 years ago, I fell in love with the music of Bruce Springsteen, and through him I came to discover and love the music of Roy Orbison, Buddy Holly, Elvis, Chuck Berry, Mitch Ryder, Patti Smith, Woody Guthrie, Hank Williams and James Brown, along with Frat Rock, Rockabilly and Memphis Soul. And now, as a new generation of Springsteen fans emerge, it’s fun to hear his music seep into songs by such bands as Arcade Fire, The National, The Hold Steady and The Killers. Critics say he’s no longer relevant. It’s good to see these guys disagree. I know I do. - norton

Album Pick: The songs on Born to Run sent shivers up my spine the first time I heard them, and despite the fact I’ve heard the album thousands of times, they still do. What truly amazes me is the fact that after all these years, I can still notice things in these songs I’ve never noticed before. I remember listening to the broadcast of the first Sound Opinions night out; the night Eric Maloney read his essay on why “Born to Run” was the greatest song of all-time. I had crappy ear buds plugged into a cheap clock radio, and when Greg and Jim played the tune, out came a guitar layer I had never heard before. Shivers.

So, if I have to recommend a single Springsteen album over all others, it would have to be where it all started for me; with a screen door slamming and a summer dress dancing in the breeze. If you don’t have Born to Run, buy it.

Track Picks: Now, since you already own Born to Run, you have the title track and “Thunder Road,” so I won’t include either of those in my 3 song list, which helps a lot. How do you pick three songs to represent a catalog like Bruce’s? Well, here goes. … wait … is Kessler still around? Shit!

In no particular order:

Song #1: “Kitty’s Back”
You’ve all probably heard “Rosalita” on the radio. Well “Kitty’s Back” is the other rocker on Bruce’s The Wild, The Innocent & the E Street Shuffle album. The album is loaded with gems, but I think this one really represents the soul and jazz influences on a lot of Bruce’s earlier stuff. David Sancious absolutely kills on this thing.

Song #2: “Reason To Believe”
I would be negligent if I didn’t include a tune off Nebraska, and I suppose “Atlantic City” would have been the obvious choice, but again, I figure you’ve probably heard that one on the radio at some point, so I picked “Reason to Believe” instead. One of the things I love about the song is its ultimate optimism. At the end of an album about death and murder and betrayal, Bruce sings “At the end of every hard earned day, people find some reason to believe.” Ah, the human spirit. Selfishly, I also get a kick out of the fact that one of the character’s names is Kyle William. My name is Jude William, and my mother told me if she and my dad hadn’t named me Jude, they would have named me Kyle. So there you go. Bruce clearly he wrote the song for me. ;)

Song #3: “Shenandoah”
Taken from Bruce’s Seeger Sessions album, this tune is simply gorgeous. The biggest complaint I’ve had with Bruce recently is my belief that his music has been over-produced. I blame Jon Landau, but who knows. I do know that this album was a real breath of fresh air, and “Shenandoah” was the highlight for me. Stripped down to its essence, the song is still as vibrant and lush as you could imagine. One of Bruce’s strengths has always been his ability to paint a picture with his music, and this is a great example as you imagine yourself easing down the river as the captain sings his song of lament.

Ranked Highest By: norton (#1)

Also Ranked By: Paul, Ramona (#2), Campaigner, tweed (#3), elcorazon (#4)

#1439 Undercooked Sausage

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:12 PM

oh paul my track picks for weezer are no one else greatest man that ever lived only in dreams
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#1440 The Good Dr Bill

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Posted 19 September 2008 - 01:14 PM

bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce
what does he file at the hall of records? a declaration of tortoise intent