64 replies to this topic

[Hewletts Daughter]

Lately, I've been attending these PR networking/educational events. Typically they take place over breakfast or lunch and serve as a means for PR professionals to get out and shoot the shit with others in the marketing/PR world. I've started going to more of these the past few weeks, as they're a great way to learn stuff and an even greater way to get out of the office and eat a good meal on the company's dime. But that's not the point, here. So I went to one of these events this morning and I noticed this great disparity in interactions with younger people versus older people. I've noticed this at the past few events I've gone to, but today it just stood out to me. The normal crowd attracted to these events is usually pretty split between older professionals and younger people who are just getting their feet wet and starting off in the PR/Marketing world. So I showed up at the complimentary breakfast before this big informational meeting this morning and noticed there was a clear divide in who was sitting where. There were tons of older people sitting around a few tables. And then in the middle room, there were a few tables occupied by youngerish people...sort of like the kiddie tables at big family parties. Naturally, I was attracted to the table with the young folks. I sat down to enjoy my eggs benedict and see what's what in the world of media relations with some kids, but instead, there was just this awkward silence over the table. It felt like everyone had just gotten the news that their closest friends had died moments earlier. It was just awkward. I looked around the room and saw these old people sitting, talking, shaking hands with one another, et cetera while our table just sat there in silence, enjoying the fancy gourmet feast that laid before us. And what made this scenario so much weirder is that these are largely PR people. PR people by definition are supposed to be good at interacting with people when necessary. Instead these people were all quiet and weird and reserved. Just in their own little recluse worlds enjoying their soy milk and cantaloupe. Now I am by no means some dynamic firecracker of a person...in fact I'm quite the opposite...I'm socially retarded. But out of all these people, I would figure that at least one of them would have been able to strike up a conversation and get things rolling. I shouldn't have been the one to begin introducing myself...that's not what I do. I rely on others to do that. I guess what I'm getting at in this ramble is the more I am put in to situations with people I dont know at all, the more I notice my generation is just sort of weird and seemingly socially inept (myself included). At least that's how it feels lately. I go to these social work gatherings and noone seems to want to say boo to anyone else unless prompted by an older person...old people are conversation facilitators. Is this how it's always been? Should I just get used to it and not feel like I'm some weird social moron in these situations and just accept the fact that everyone in my generation is like this? Am I the only one who has noticed this? SOMB old people, has it always been like this, where the young kids are quiet and reserved in these situations? What gives? Movies and professional wrestling have taught me that young people are typically brash and outspoken and in your face and talk a lot. Yet the real world is teaching me otherwise. It's teaching me that people don't want to interact with one another unless it's via a text message of some sort. SOMB, I ask you. What gives?

[Waylon]

Old people are lonely and desperate for social interaction, young people are poor and hungry.

[Hewletts Daughter]

I will not deny being hungry. I devoured my breakfast this morning like it was my last meal on earth. But regardless. These awkward silences at these social PR gatherings are just downright weird. I mean, we're all in public relations. We should be good at talking to people. I feel like if I don't start conversation with folks, then, well, there will never be any until some old guy comes up to us and starts awkwardly flirting with the young tail that's seated across from me. Ugh growing up sucks.

[red]

I blame technology. I bet you could have had some interesting conversations with those same people via text messages and IMs. Next time exchange numbers when you sit down at such a table and you'll become instant BFFs. edit: You'll also notice as you get older you become more confident and won't care as much about what people think of you. So you'll be more likely to go after said tail.

[Waylon]

Also, the older people have something to gain from networking with each other while the younger people probably don't have anything to offer.

[Sid Hartha]

I'll bet those kids board hard.

[red]

Hahaha. You know they do.

[Agrimorfee]

HD, I'm just like you. I don't facilitate conversations, I react to them. It takes a lot of guts to be able to talk to strangers. And if you miss that little open doorway to start a convo in a situation where you are forced to be with one another for a certain length of time, boy does that shut so loudly and completely. My grandmother, bless her heart, will strike up conversations with ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. Do you also notice that when some stranger starts up a conversation with you, say on the El train to work, you're first instinct is "who the hell is this person and what the fuck do they want from me?" I think it's another by-product of today's non-verbal, untrustworthy society.

[Hewletts Daughter]

I blame technology.

I do, as well. While it's helped us in many ways, it's also become a huge hindrance.

HD, I'm just like you. I don't facilitate conversations, I react to them. It takes a lot of guts to be able to talk to strangers. And if you miss that little open doorway to start a convo in a situation where you are forced to be with one another for a certain length of time, boy does that shut so loudly and completely. My grandmother, bless her heart, will strike up conversations with ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME.

See the thing is, I can strike up conversations. I can actually be quite affable if I so choose, but usually in more social, informal situations. When it comes to business settings, I just get all awkward and feel like I'm being judged for whatever reason.

Do you also notice that when some stranger starts up a conversation with you, say on the El train to work, you're first instinct is "who the hell is this person and what the fuck do they want from me?" I think it's another by-product of today's non-verbal, untrustworthy society.

Naw, I don't feel that way at all. I usually am thrilled if someone is willing to talk to me in public. It's a pretty big risk on their part to do such a thing. So good for them. They clearly recognize that talking to me is awesome, so good for them.

[Jess]

Maybe all the young people were just sleepy

[Duff.]

I wish my generation were a buncha recluses so they'd leave me the fuck alone.

[Mike Schank]

I think young people have always been weird, reclusive and detached. Throw in large amounts of unnecessary prescription drugs being prescribed at a young age and add video games and the internet and they're bound to be more fucked up. Just wait for future generations of the brain numbing zombies.

[Nick]

HD - Did you raise your hand all the time in school to answer questions?

[Bleep Blop]

Maybe all the younger folks got really high before they came in? Chalk this up to a case of group weed anxiety. I don't know- I wish I could say I'm better at interacting with strangers. For the most part, I'm great at getting in on random conversations- but there are certain times people just don't want to be talked to, and I want to respect that. It's surprising people would be so shut off at a big PR group meeting such as this one. It's not like it's just two people where it would be a fly or die interaction- almost seems unnecessarily awkward to be sitting at a big table like that and not say anything. Big groups like that you just have to ask the stupidest question possible a minute or two into the silence. "So.... you guys like PR?" At least that should start one person going.

[Hewletts Daughter]

Maybe all the young people were just sleepy

This is very possible. I had to wake up an extra hour early to get to this thing today. I imagine others did, as well.

HD - Did you raise your hand all the time in school to answer questions?

Nick - If I may ask, why do you ask this question?

I don't know- I wish I could say I'm better at interacting with strangers. For the most part, I'm great at getting in on random conversations

Yeah, I'm the same way. I can get in to random conversations with people over pretty much anything at any time.

Big groups like that you just have to ask the stupidest question possible a minute or two into the silence. "So.... you guys like PR?" At least that should start one person going.

I almost asked the lady siting next to me (the HEAD OF COMMUNICATIONS for some magazine, btw) why the waiters wanted to take her plate away so badly, as they kept coming up to her and saying 'can I take this from you?' while pretty much ignoring everyone else. Instead I just pondered internally whether she was a vegan or not. I believe she was.

[pong]

Just a coincidence.

[Nick]

HD - Did you raise your hand all the time in school to answer questions?

Nick - If I may ask, why do you ask this question?

Just answer the question, HD.

[Hewletts Daughter]

HD - Did you raise your hand all the time in school to answer questions?

Nick - If I may ask, why do you ask this question?

Just answer the question, HD.

I'd still like to know why you ask such a silly question.

But if you need to know, I answered questions when necessary. Not all the time. And when I did, I would go with the ebb and flow of the land. If students raised their hands to answer questions, that's how I would go about my business. As I got older and the hand raising rule seemed to become extinct, as did my reliance on it as a means to communicate an answer with a teacher.

[Chronodiggity]

Most of these kids are like you - looking for a free breakfast. They also think that these "old pros" are out of touch and have nothing to offer them. They are 95% correct. Unfortunately, you must suck these geezers dicks so that you can get connections and eventually get a pat on the back with a cushy job.

[☼♥!]

Technology is the major contributing factor... HD, I think a lot of people are in your position-where they don't like to start the conversation for fear of annoying others, but if it's there they'll join in. Throw in the business setting and people begin to question whether anything they say is worth saying to begin with. So I'd say that has to do a lot with the awkward silence. Personally, I tend to be assertive when no-one else is, otherwise I'm perfectly fine being the quiet one in the group, contributing when necessary.