110 replies to this topic

[Waylon]

First of all, thank you to everyone who said they missed me in the M.I.A. thread. I missed you too.

My friends, I come to you a changed man. I've been purged of the demons that haunted my prior boarding, and I will do the same for you. Blessed with a benevolence in spirit and temperament, I am here to heal the Somb.

Tell my what ails you, and I will make it better. Air your grievances, and I will bring you peace.

your pal,
Waylon

[Bob Loblaw]

Real Guest to thread in 3...2...1...

[Waylon]

Real Guest to thread in 3...2...1...

Bob Loblaw, you feel as though the SOMB has become stale and predictable. At times this predictability is comforting: it is natural, even necessary to embrace the structure of a familiar routine. However, we must recognize that surprises are an important part of life. We must all embrace change but at the same time cling to the good things that we can rely on.

The Real Guest is a long-time member of the SOMB community. Like all SOMBies, old and new, The Real Guest is welcome at my table.

[The Real Guest]

The Real Guest is welcome at my table.

FUCK YO MOTHERFUCKING TABLE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bob Loblaw]

Real Guest to thread in 3...2...1...

Bob Loblaw, you feel as though the SOMB has become stale and predictable. At times this predictability is comforting: it is natural, even necessary to embrace the structure of a familiar routine. However, we must recognize that surprises are an important part of life. We must all embrace change but at the same time cling to the good things that we can rely on.

The Real Guest is a long-time member of the SOMB community. Like all SOMBies, old and new, The Real Guest is welcome at my table.

No, I'm a long time supporter of TRG. He posts just enough imo, not too much to make the schtick tired and go the way of Red Lobster.

[M_Rots]

Waylon: When did you start writing like Nick?

[elcorazon]

i'm tired and my stomach hurts.

[Waylon]

No, I'm a long time supporter of TRG. He posts just enough imo, not too much to make the schtick tired and go the way of Red Lobster.

I'm glad to have helped you make peace with The Real Guest, Bob Loblaw.

FUCK YO MOTHERFUCKING TABLE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Real Guest, you are a SOMBie -- or perhaps several SOMBies -- who is filled with fear and anger, but you're afraid to express these emotions in public. So you have chosen to do so behind the mask of The Real Guest. Many people would object to this tactic as cowardly, but I believe it is Good. In creating this character, this Real Guest, you have channeled some profoundly negative feelings into a positive outlet. To those who truly understand The Real Guest, your outbursts bring the joy of laughter. I speak from experience, as my foibles have been the target of your vitriol on several occasions, and I believe I'm better for it.

This thread is turning into a love-fest like Slackmo's Valentine's Day thread. This was not my intention, but I am happy to oblige if no one is willing to air their grievances.

[M_Rots]

It grieves me that you write like Nick.

[Bob Loblaw]

Waylon, can you help me reconcile the inner conflict I have between my LOPP persona and my SOMB persona? A Loblaw divided cannot stand.

[Waylon]

Waylon: When did you start writing like Nick?

Brainstorm, you are a person who is in constant need of attention. Although you prefer positive attention, you are willing to settle for negative attention when you can get it. And because your desire for attention is more powerful than your desire to be liked, you have become adept at the type of behavior that guarantees that people cannot ignore you. To that end, you enjoy playing both the villain and the victim, picking fights and then allowing yourself to be attacked. I can't break this cycle for you, but I can make sure that I am not a contributor to it. To that end, you have some very valuable insights to offer the SOMB, but you must recognize that you can't always do it on your own terms. Please recognize that people don't need to respond to you to acknowledge you, and that sometimes your contributions will go unremarked upon, but not unnoticed.

I acknowledge your belief that I am aping Nick. I can't disabuse you of this belief, so I won't try. I'm Waylon, and I can only be Waylon, whatever flaws he may have.

[Waylon]

i'm tired and my stomach hurts.

Elco, take the rest of the day off. Put on your pajamas, and have some home made soup. Preferably chicken noodle, or Matzoh ball. Drink plenty of fluids, like tea and juice. And get some rest.

[M_Rots]

No, it's definitely you - Nick would've worked a gay joke in there, somehow. I apologize for ever doubting you.

[Bob Loblaw]

This thread has more upside than Kevin Durant.

[Waylon]

Waylon, can you help me reconcile the inner conflict I have between my LOPP persona and my SOMB persona? A Loblaw divided cannot stand.

Loblaw, it's an inherent part of the human condition to feel as though you have no true persona. It's the same irl as on the web. I am sure work Loblaw is different from home Loblaw, just as you may feel different with your family then with your friends. You must recognize that different social situations call for a different demeanor, and that it is only right and natural to act differently in order to conform. You must ask yourself: Who is the real Bob Loblaw? What are the core traits and beliefs that make Bob Loblaw who he is? When you recognize what is too important to compromise, and work hard to preserve that, your struggle over society's demands will soon become much easier.

[pong]

Waylon: you are a man among men.

[Bob Loblaw]

Waylon, can you help me reconcile the inner conflict I have between my LOPP persona and my SOMB persona? A Loblaw divided cannot stand.

Loblaw, it's an inherent part of the human condition to feel as though you have no true persona. It's the same irl as on the web. I am sure work Loblaw is different from home Loblaw, just as you may feel different with your family then with your friends. You must recognize that different social situations call for a different demeanor, and that it is only right and natural to act differently in order to conform. You must ask yourself: Who is the real Bob Loblaw? What are the core traits and beliefs that make Bob Loblaw who he is? When you recognize what is too important to compromise, and work hard to preserve that, your struggle over society's demands will soon become much easier.

I finally feel at peace. Thank you, brother Waylon.

[Diesel]

Waylon: I feel my attempts to bring logic and common sense back to the board, while seemingly appreciated on LOPP, are falling on deaf ears here on SOMB. Have I become part of the laughable schism cycle of "__________ or other LOPPer post triggers Brainstorm/Montana/others to over-react" merely by offering what I hope to be a balanced view on the situation? Should I just keep my SOMB boarding to the WWE and metal threads, like I did for months because I couldn't engage with the board elsewise?

[Vivian Darkbloom]

Waylon: I'm uncomfortable with my board identity of late. Early shrill backlash against LOPP has earned me unfortunate associations with Aggie, Elco and other doctrinaire oldsters, when the truth of my position is a little more nuanced. Yes, like Jess and Rob, I was hurt to think that posters I love and respect were saving their hard boarding for the exclusive gated community of LOPP, but hey, I like to think of myself as more on the Diesel side of the spectrum than anything else. Now that I'm battling ___________ for rap supremacy, I find myself again openly railing against sophomoric high school bullying and "meta" boarding while secretly, I like poop humor as much as the next post-adolescent. How can I rehabilitate my SOMB identity so as not to be perceived as an oldster whiner while not selling out with sycophantic and pathetic attempts to "fit in" by begging admission of the cool kids?

[Slackmo]

If Waylon nails those two answers back-to-back it's going to be a sight to behold.