bro, i know how you feel. just getting into smoking is a weird mindfuck. you know it's bad for your health and it's easy to get addicted and everyone says they can quit whenever they want to but you still think you're different and that right now is just a time in your life that you need to relax and take your mind off things and be able to take such happiness from such a simple thing. plus smoking things is awesome and it's just so cool to do, everyone agrees (and those who don't are just lashing back at the "smoking is cool" fact because it's bad for your health so they need to rationalize by saying it's also not cool).
really tony, i feel you. you didn't know it would actually hurt this bad physically. you didn't think that addiction was this strong. this addiction is nothing like going a few mornings without coffee and getting some minor headaches. this is real shit. it's not so easy to just say you have the willpower. you've got to grab it from deep within yourself.
so what are you going to do? you know you want to quit - that it would make your life immeasurably better. and you know that you're a strong enough person to do it. so take whatever steps necessary. try some nicotine gum, or a patch. try smoking one less cigarette per day until you're down to zero. hell, even go cold turkey and see if that works for you. just know that no one who approves of your habit is going to turn on you because you decide to quit. most of them are probably trying to quit themselves. and everyone else will be proud of your accomplishments.
cigarettes don't define you, tony. you don't need them to relax, you don't need them to make friends, you don't need them to be cool. you're relaxed. you have friends. you are cool.