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#1 The Good Dr Bill

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 12:40 AM

You have a heart attack right now, sitting at your computer, and die right on the spot. Let's say your corpse doesn't start to smell or anything, and you don't give any other outward signs as to there being a dead person in your room, so you have to rely on the people that you know to call the cops and figure out why you've been missing. How long does it take before the cops bust down your door and find your body lying there?

Been thinking about this, and it could be a while for me. Don't have a girlfriend or a roommate or anyone else I pretty much HAVE to talk to on a regular basis. Here's the places in my life where I guess I could possibly be missed.

1. My Parents. I talked to my parents on the phone today and we don't have any immediate plans to talk again, so it could be at least a week before they call again, and then two or three days after that before they start worrying that I haven't called back. So that's maybe ten days before they start asking questions, maybe twelve days before the cops knock down my door.

2. My College/Trivia Friends. I'm supposed to show up for a bar trivia thing on Monday Night, then a College Bowl team practice the next night. One guy from the bar trivia also goes to team practices, and if I'm not at either (I haven't missed a meeting all year), people might start to wonder why. I dunno if it'd be enough to worry them, but maybe it's enough for one or two of them to IM me and ask me why I haven't been around. If by the next week I'm still not there, people might get worried, but I dunno if it's enough to start asking questions. If I'm not there the next week, which is now the week before Nationals, I think people would have to know something was weird, especially since I haven't talked to any of them on AIM or phone or anything. I'd like to think SOMEONE would start asking questions. So that's maybe sixteen days before they start asking questions, maybe twenty days before the cops knock down my door.

3. My Friends from Home: This is a little more variable, since it depends on when one of them gets the whim to call me. I didn't hang out with either of my home friends that go to NYU this weekend, so it's possible that one of them would call me sometime next weekend, especially if I'm not on IM. When I don't answer, I dunno how worried they could get though--they might jump to the conclusion that I'm avoiding them, instead of dead. In all possibility, it could be longer than a month before they get the cops to knock down my door.

4. NYU: I can't see them getting too worried if I don't go to classes--I've skipped classes before, and there are too many kids that do that to worry about tracking all of us down. However, every couple weeks or so, NYU people come around to check our Air Conditioning, or our smoke detectors, or something like that. In fact, I also have an obligatory floor meeting tomorrow night, and assuming they take roll there, it might be my best chance at getting discovered within a week--my asbence at that meeting's gonna send someone knocking at, if not knocking down my door.

5. You guys? / Other internetors: If I die before I finish the SOMB '65 - '74 poll, I imagine people would notice my absence--not to mention the fact that I'm barely away from this board for more than a day or two--but would it be enough of a shock for you guys to start worrying that I'm dead? The threads would start after three or four days I imagine (it would take a lot longer in the non-poll season, obv.) but at first they'd probably be jokey--people saying I'd pulled a Hickman, or comparing me to Sausage taking a week off or something. Would they ever get serious enough for someone to say "hey, maybe he's in trouble"? If so, would anyone act on it? Probably not, since barely any of you even live in the same city. More realistically, when I miss my Sunday deadline on my next Stylus piece, my editor would probably call me to ask where it is--but once again, if I don't call him back, he might think I'm avoiding him rather than in trouble. But that, combined with my internent absence, maybe he starts checking the SOMB and sees a thread or two about my not being there...it's possible that within three or four weeks, SOMEONE gets worried and within four to five weeks, the cops knock down my door.

Freaky.
what does he file at the hall of records? a declaration of tortoise intent

#2 Rob Gordon

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 12:48 AM

Heavy topic Bill... fortunately I'm married...with kid...so it's a moot point for me.... ...but seriously...don't dwell on things like this.....I can sense you're good people (hokey sounding I know)....meaning there's loved ones around... Nick Lowe- Marie Provost Marie Provost did not look her best The day the cops bust into her lonely nest in the cheap hotel up on Hollywood west July 29 She'd been lyin' there for two or three weeks The neighbors said they never heard a squeak While hungry eyes that could not speak said even little doggies have got to eat chorus: She was a winner that became a doggie's dinner She never meant that much to me Whoa oh poor Marie Marie Provost was a movie queen mysterious angel of the silent screen And run like the wind the nation's young men steamed When Marie crossed the silent screen Whoa she came out west from New York but when the talkies came Marie just couldn't cope The public said Marie take a walk All the way back to New York -repeat chorus- Those quaalude bombs didn't help her sleep As her nights grew long and her days grew bleak It's all downhill once you've passed your peak Marie got ready for that last big sleep The cops came in and they looked around Throwin' up everywhere over what they found The handiwork of Marie's little dachshund That hungry little dachshund -repeat chorus- poor Marie
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#3 Paul

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 12:50 AM

I would end up being found rather quickly because I have a roommate here at school and at home I'm with my parents, so I'll look at it as a worst case scenario with me having my heart attack while laying in bed. Even with my roommate, I think I could probably go close to a full day. Yes, even with him in the room with dead me. My reasoning for this is the few days that he has a reason to be awake before me (like if my first class had been cancelled), he doesn't really think about why I would still be sleeping. Along with that, he isn't around much anways, so if he came back at night and I was still in a sleep like position, he probably wouldn't think much of it either. Same thing as you said about your school, I really don't think mine would notice very quickly. The aren't many other people on my floor who I ever hang out with and the ones that I do never seem to notice when I'm not really around, so it would probably take a while for them. Since I'm writing this right now, probably the soonest someone would notice would be my parents because I'm supposed to call them tomorrow.

#4 The Good Dr Bill

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 12:53 AM

same with both of the roommates I've had in college--both were pretty heavy sleepers and would sometimes stay in bed close to all day, if I was out for a few hours that day (or for the night), it's entirely possible that I wouldn't think anything of it until a second or third day. edit: And I'm not really dwelling on this, I was just watching Law & Order: SVU when a similar situation happened, and it got me thinking somewhat.
what does he file at the hall of records? a declaration of tortoise intent

#5 avec

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 12:56 AM

haha, shit. I'd have to say my one friend who I'm really close with would find out sooner or later. If I didn't answer my phone for a couple days, he'd come by, or call my parents. Then my parents would freak out and call the police. All my other friends though wouldn't bother, because I've been known to go in and out of hermit phases.

#6 velocity

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 01:45 AM

same with both of the roommates I've had in college--both were pretty heavy sleepers and would sometimes stay in bed close to all day, if I was out for a few hours that day (or for the night), it's entirely possible that I wouldn't think anything of it until a second or third day.

edit: And I'm not really dwelling on this, I was just watching Law & Order: SVU when a similar situation happened, and it got me thinking somewhat.

Same thing crossed my mind when that guy in Denmark (Greenland?) died in his apartment and wasn't discovered for two years. This is my irrational basis for not setting up automatic mortgage payments--my bank account would last for several months.

#7 undo

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 01:47 AM

My door is currently closed and my roommate is away for the weekend. But even when she comes back, she won't knock on my door or open it for anything. That's just our unspoken policy. The only indicator that I might actually be in here is the fact that the light is on. She might notice that, she might not. My parents don't worry if I don't call. I mean, if they don't hear from me for another 3 weeks or so, they might start to worry. They'd call and call and call, but it would be at least 2 months or so before they'd come out here to actually check on me. I'm not even sure they remember how to get here. I just quit my job and my last day was yesterday. I'm currently unemployed. There will be no angry bosses calling to want to know where I am. I haven't seen any of my friends from back home in about six months. They call occasionally but won't think anything out of the ordinary if I don't return their call. My landlord will probably be pissed if next month comes around and he still hasn't received a check yet. He doesn't actually live here so he'd have to drive a half hour or so to get here, and I'm sure he'd call my roommate first instead of me. Actually, once the end of the month comes along and I haven't left a check out on the table for my roommate to mail, maybe then she'd knock on my door, and possibly even open it to check on me. But that's a long time from now. I say three weeks without any posts by me on the board here might inspire a "where's undo?" thread, but let's face it. There's nothing you guys can do. God bless you, but you don't know where I live or how else to contact me or anything. So then, the grim responsibility of realizing that something is wrong lies with my girlfriend. No calls or IMs from me after two days would probably be a good sign that maybe I am not well. But a week or so of no contact whatsoever might be enough to cause her to drive all the way up here (40 minutes or so, it's not an easy trip) to check on me. Unfortunately she doesn't have keys to the building, so she'll buzz and buzz and buzz but won't get any answer. My roommate certainly won't be home when she chooses to do this. Maybe she'll come back later, and hopefully it won't be a night that my roommate is staying late at work or partying with friends. Anyway, she doesn't know any of my other friends or how to contact my parents so there's not much else she can do about it, unfortunately. Probably after a week and a half, she finally buzzes the apartment when my roommate is home, they put two and two together, and open my bedroom door to find my corpse. Case closed!

#8 The Good Dr Bill

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 01:56 AM

I find it hard to believe that your roommate, regardless of how distant your relationship with her may be, could go that long without ascertaining whether or not you were in the apartment. Do you really ever go ten days without talking? How big a place do the two of you have?
what does he file at the hall of records? a declaration of tortoise intent

#9 Undercooked Sausage

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 02:03 AM

lol @ undo's response. Tomorrow when my parents try to wake me up for school and notice I'm dead.
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#10 undo

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 02:05 AM

I find it hard to believe that your roommate, regardless of how distant your relationship with her may be, could go that long without ascertaining whether or not you were in the apartment. Do you really ever go ten days without talking? How big a place do the two of you have?

With our work schedules staggered for most of the time, I will often go a week or so without seeing her. Plus she has a tv in her room and i have my computer in mine, so we usually don't spend our time in the living room. Plus she's been away on a lot of short business trips lately, most of which require longer days spent at the office in the week afterwards upon returning.

She's a really nice and considerate person and we get along great. We just don't talk much. I've given her a lot more space over the past year and a half or so and don't really try to instigate much unnecessary contact between us. That's seemed to work out just fine so far.

#11 Mitchell

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 05:28 AM

I think we need a thread in which we all post every three days to say "I'm not dead" If someone misses out the authorities are called.
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#12 undo

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 06:52 AM

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#13 DrJimmy

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 07:00 AM

my cellmate would figure it out...eventually.

#14 Ben

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 07:30 AM

I carpool with my landlady every weekday morning. If I didn't come out of my room one day, she's probably go on without me. But I bet she'd push open the door to my room within a day or so of not seeing me. I don't lock it. She gives me my privacy, but she's also nice enough to collect and stack my New York Times on my nightstand when I'm out of town. That's probably when it would happend. Or the dog. The dog might find me.
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#15 no magnets

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 11:57 AM

right now? it'd be about 8 hours until someone found me. one of my friends who i watch "the sopranos" with has a spare key to my apartment and would let themselves in.

#16 case quarter

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 12:18 PM

I'd probably found between the 24-48 hour time frame. I don't always pick up my phone so no one would notice for at least one day. My parents live 5 minutes away and my brother and his wife live in the same building, but are not key buddies because they would use them for the lamest reasons: Our A/C broke, we have no ice, I had to use the bathroom, etc. I snatched those keys back a week after I moved in.
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#17 The Good Dr Bill

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 12:59 PM

I feel like I should leave emergency contact information with the SOMB just in case I go AWOL for like a week during poll time.
what does he file at the hall of records? a declaration of tortoise intent

#18 Slackmo

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 01:00 PM

I feel like I should leave emergency contact information with the SOMB just in case I go AWOL for like a week during poll time.

I feel like Paves should y'all send the thing you "We Gotta Get You A Woman".
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#19 Undercooked Sausage

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 01:01 PM

What happened to your roommate?

The chances of a average 19 year old hipster college student dying are pretty fucking low dude.


I feel like I should leave emergency contact information with the SOMB just in case I go AWOL for like a week during poll time.

I feel like Paves should y'all send the thing you "We Gotta Get You A Woman".

Dude, fuck bitches man. They don't understand the billboard charts.
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#20 The Good Dr Bill

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Posted 09 April 2006 - 01:04 PM

roommate moved out like month-and-a-half ago. And I dunno, I could die from eating too much chinese food at once or something. I'm pretty sure I've gotten close a couple times.
what does he file at the hall of records? a declaration of tortoise intent