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#1 Jess


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Posted 22 January 2006 - 10:48 PM

(added by wakingrufus):
old archives thread

#2 Rajexico



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Posted 22 January 2006 - 11:59 PM

Did anybody save the SOMB timeline?

Compiled by Raj. Written collectively by members of the SOMB. If anyone wants to be specifically credited for their particular contribution, just say so. If anyone finds fault with a part of the timeline, or feels an item is not worthy of inclusion, they can say so in this thread or PM me.

1993: Sound Opinions, "The World's Only Rock 'n’ Roll Talk Show," hosted by Chicago Sun-Times critic Jim DeRogatis and Chicago Reader critic Bill Wyman, debuts on The Loop (97.9).

1994: The show moves to Q101 (101.1).

1995: The show ends when DeRogatis took a job at Rolling Stone.

1998: Sound Opinions returns in 1998 on WXRT (93.1) with Chicago Tribune critic Greg Kot, and the pair remain hosts to present day.

2000?: The original Sound Opinions webpage is founded, linking to the WXRT homepage. A crude, turn of the century-style message board is established and linked to through the Sound Opinions (SO) website. The site and the message board are regularly plugged on air by the hosts, with hopes that listeners will register and discuss topics pertaining to the show.

2000: The earliest incarnation of the board, a tree-style forum, is scrapped for a model where only topics are displayed instead of all responses. This board may have been replaced by yet another before the first major board shift in 2003, but there remains no evidence to confirm such a claim. This version was somewhat similar to I Love Music (ilx.wh3rd.net) in format and perhaps only Hickman and Janine were around for it (or would this be the previous entry, Brett? - raj). Littleramona lurks: "Nothing happened. I mean, somebody would start a thread and it would die. Right on the spot. Tumbleweed rolls through ghost towns, but here tumbleweed would actually have livened the place up."

Late 2000: Jim and Greg announce their best CDs of 2000, creating some of the first real debate with contributions from Whichoneispink, Crease and Hickman.

Early 2001: The first formal version of the SOMB. Undo, Nick, Janine, Hickman, Okcompinkerton/Sherriff Sam/cpl-593h, bleachthesheep, Whichoneispink, Crease, Littleramona, Coolrock and By-Tor are among the earliest members. Popular topics include the third Weezer album, Radiohead's “Kid A,” the demise and aftermath of Smashing Pumpkins, and a pair of hot new bands: The Strokes and The White Stripes. Perhaps inspired by the novelty and instant gratification of the boarding experience, several members begin experimenting with blogging and writing for websites. Friendliness and optimism abound.

September 2001: The biggest controversy in 2001 is Brett's reaction to Bill Maher's comments about what really was "cowardly" right after the 9/11 attacks. Most of the board fights viciously over those comments.

Late 2001: Tjenz, Damo Suzuki and Issachar join.

December 2001/January 2002: The year-end Sound Opinions album poll takes place, with Jim and Greg reading their top 10 lists on the air. A thread is posted on the message board for listeners to contribute their own lists. Many do and a lengthy thread with some discussion ensues, but soon fades into memory as January begins.

January 2002: Nonphenomenal joins, insults Hickman.

Spring 2002: One of the first great battles about hip-hop as a legitimate genre is started. Ben, Cpl-593h (okcompinkerton), Damo (p1nk...) and Midnite Vulture are the first to man the frontline. Started in the days before rockism even had a name.
The Sevbass scandal.

Mid-2002: Wilco releases “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot” after months of near-hyperbolic critical acclaim by Sound Opinions hosts DeRogatis and Kot. Radiohead releases “Amnesiac.” Both albums become the source of some of the first truly passionate attempts at discussion on the board in the first prosperous era of the SOMB.
Eric Maloney joins the board.

June 2002: Diesel95 and Saskadelphia join the board.

August 2002: The new Beck thread.

Fall 2002: A big poll on albums is taken. Several people including Melissa and Ben are extremely disappointed in the results, particularly the fact that “Automatic For the People” finishes at #1. Janine says she protests the results because "Shiny Happy People" is on the album. The board jumps all over her for not knowing the truth. Janine leaves the board soon after, though she says it's not because people ripped her. Melissa blames the results on the point system. She creates a complicated system where voters can designate points for each album. A new vote is taken in November. “Automatic” still wins.

Late 2002: A thread on Bruce Springsteen's "The Rising" draws many responses and leads to the formation of the Four Horseman, a Springsteen advocacy group. The group includes at some point Norton, El C, Celtic Fish, Issachar and Eric Maloney (yes/no? –raj). The bar nights begin and continue for the next year.
St. Park (then Whichwill07) begins to lurk. Yellowgrrl joins the board.

December 2002: Little Jess meets SOMB members at a show and DJDee bemoans an Illmatic-less best-of albums list; they both join the board.
DJ battles HoosierBuff in the Etc Forum and battles Hickman in the Discussion Forum.
The year-end poll is taken once more. Again, listeners post their top 10 lists, but member Rap_Damage takes it upon himself to compile every list together and to add up the results to see what albums were the board's favorites. “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot” takes #1, with The Flaming Lips, Beck, Steve Earle, and Neko Case rounding out the top 5. The results are posted in a thread that earns less than 5 replies.
Ben and Issachar get into a big fight about the meaning of "rock" after discussing Greg and Jim's status as "rock" critics. Issachar said if they're not going to put rock albums in their top 20, then they shouldn't be called "rock" critics. Ben was pissed, challenging Issachar to come up with his own top 20. And when this happened, Ben went through the list with a fine-toothed comb, telling him, "The Flaming Lips are rock? You really believe that?" It was great fun to read.
December 26, 2002: Jenny Penny joins.

Various 2002: Damo's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" thread.
Cpl-593h gets drunk and is tempted to delete the Suggestion Forum.
Destro's headphones post (later? -raj).
The Et Cetera Forum is added.
A review forum is created, then eliminated some time in 2002 or 2003.
Scottpl defends ABBA in massive thread, the first great pop debate.
Little Jess mocks the Now Playing Thread with Photoshop. Samples: "Album No One Has Ever Heard Of," "Token Hip Hop Record".
Hickman makes his 3000th post, a SOMBie first. The post is preceded with much anticipation from the board and then describes Hickman’s experience at the Strokes concert at the Aragon with his son.
Freddie Freelance, Beansimpson, Benwelsh, harrisjon (El Corazon) and norton join at different points during the year.

January 2003: SOMB night at The Gingerman. The first copies of Get On The Bus are leaked. The Gingerman hosted at least two other get-togethers.

February 2003: Not deterred by his past list-compiling failure, Rap_Damage posts his "top 100 songs of 2002" list, a list of unprecedented proportions that generates slightly more interest than previous efforts.

March 2003: “In March 2003, there was a SOMBie get-together at the Abbey Pub. A lot of the big-name SOMBies went. Jim and Greg did a show there and we watched it. I forget who the hell played. I met a bunch of the guys at the show. Some I saw and met there: MattW, By-Tor, felldownawell, whichonespink, coolrock, issachar, Hickman, Hoosierbuff, and a lot more. Somebody took a lot of pics. It was the first time people saw other SOMBies on the board. The funniest thing about it was the stir Dawn caused. Dawn kept telling people she was going to find board members she didn't like (ones who attacked her on the board) at the bar and tell them off to their faces. After the show, Dawn told everybody she was there, but she stayed upstairs and didn't want to cause a scene. Nobody believed her. Ask other SOMBies if you need more info. I drank a lot that night, so my memory is fuzzy on some of the details.” – Pookie/Limeinthecoconut
The Good Dr. Bill joins SOMB.

Early 2003: With the US invasion of Iraq just a month away, the SOMB attempts to invade the Pitchfork Media Services board (PFMS). The operation is a disaster from the beginning, but somehow does not lead to a backlash from the PFMS. Later in the year, PFMS disbands; it later goes through several transitions and becomes Hipinion.
Klein does info cards on SOMBies based on GI Joe.

April 2003:
Little Jess' birthday photoshops also happened at about that time.
The acronym "SOMB" is first employed. "Sombies," created by cpl-593h, soon follows.
The second prosperous era ("The Golden Age" begins as members meet offline at concerts, parties, and other events. The queen of this period is Little Jess, but Bhickman, Skippy, Eric Maloney, Yellowgrrl, Lucky Luc, and By-Tor also formed the core of the 21+ SOMB clique. Younger SOMB members participate in these meet-ups, but never quite as regularly.
April 23, 2005 The second (third?) version of the board begins in late April. A hideous orange layout is quickly junked in favor of the modern light blues.

May 2003: Scott and DJDee wrestle over the definition of hip-hop.
Raj joins.

June 2003: By-Tor professes his love for someone on the board in his 1,000th post, the person remains nameless, but everyone obviously knows who it is. He re-professes his love two years later.

Mid-2003: The term "Asscobra" first appears on the board after Jim and Greg review a Turbonegro album amid much giggling.
Damo's "in the kitchen" thread.

August 2003: Bobandbob starts the TOP ALBUMS OF THE (decades) POLL. Many did not care for the results, although El Corazon probably enjoyed the lists. Under B&B's rules, "London Calling" won the best album of the '70s, "Murmur" won the '80s and there was a controversial thing as "Automatic For The People" and "OK Computer" may have both won the '90s or something.
Little Jess hosts a party attended by Whichoneispink, Skinnyhipsrivers, Skippy, By-Tor, Klein, Gordon and one or two others. Jess photoshops the event.

September 2003: Maiden Week coincides with the release of “Dance of Death,” Iron Maiden's most recent studio album. It lasts longer than a week, and was awesome.
Sombie Cookbook.
Rufus and Ben, as well as others, attend a Turbonegro show.

October 2003: A thread started by Scott Pl/Plan B on the Strokes' "Room On Fire" goes to marathon length.
Pavement Ist Rad and Zero As a Limit join SOMB.

Late 2003: DJ pans Revolver in the "My take on a classic rec: Visual presentation" thread, which almost destroys the board as the largest rockism struggle to date. Some time in 2004, Welsh finally locks the thread to stop it. Scottpl posts his "six rules" (later archived) that serve as an unofficial creed for the anti-rockists on the board. The rockism debate rages for much of the following year.

December 2003: William Tell goes on his second major thread tear (“In this thread we are unenthusiastic Nazis,” and so forth).
Jim DeRogatis and Greg Kot prepare their year-end best-of lists and once again ask listeners to submit their own on the message board. This time, the board expresses genuine interest in having their collective lists tabulated together to see what could come out on top. The Good Dr. Bill (yes/no? -raj) accepts this challenge and sends out blurb assignments to many list-makers. The final product was the SOMB Best Albums of 2003 list, posted ceremoniously in mid/late-December of the year, complete with album art and member reviews, and is even read on air by Sound Opinions producer Matt Spiegel in an episode airing in early January. The project is a surprising success, save for the lack of an album cover image to link to for M83's Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts on allmusic.com. The mysterious substitute cover posted on the board soon after somehow reverts/changes to a large photo of a penis after a day and is quickly removed. Radiohead's “Hail To The Thief” proves to be the winner by consensus, beating the follow-up albums from The Strokes and The White Stripes. Over the next two years, some members will regret this choice and declare it to be one of the worst moments in the history of the board.
December 2, 2003: This apparently confirms that the original Sulu "rant" (or at least part of it) took place on December 2, 2003.

Various 2003: "Don't Call Me Sam."
Damo's Hilary Duff thread.
Little Jess and Skippy set up the SOMB mix archive.
The Answer and Question Thread of 2003. The 1000 Songs Thread.
The "Fuck You Hickman" thread, which is started innocently by TJENZ, but grew into a barrage of the profane phrase where other members of the board join in, ending every post with "fuck you Hickman," regardless of the context, resulting in Hickman's co-workers laughing hysterically at him in one of the funniest threads in SOMB history.
Biggoofysmartass, Dear Strongbad (what is this? -raj)
Someone (I’ve been told who this was apparently but it was suggested I not post it unless they were cool with that, so whatever – raj) drives through the I-Pass lanes without paying. The board debates the ethics of I-Pass and paying tolls.
Band survivor. Radiohead fans are steaming mad when their favorite band is voted off in the first round. The Jamily keeps Pearl Jam in the running deep into the game. TJENZ, Tslow, and Abnormal rejoice.
Destro and Frankie Teardrop/Mutant Disco join.

Late 2003 / early 2004: The great Sickpup and Demon Cleaner vs. Scottpl and Damo rockism debates.
Gordon leaves the board.

January 2004: Troll activity peaks with the “I hate retards” thread in the first dark age of the SOMB. Simakos joins with "I may be a newbie, but I'm already tired of this Hickman guy." In a massive blowout, Hickman quits the board, then comes back several days later.
On Martin Luther King Jr. Day, boarder Neo-Beatnik states that MLK cheated on his wife, “as most black men are wont to do.”
Damo and William Tell display their black humor in the Cumspray thread, which runs through mid-year. Its final post before being archived and subsequently deleted from existence is dated July 24, 2004.
January 1, 2005: Hickman briefly goes on the Atkins diet. (According to Yellowgrrl - Hickman, feel free to interject if any of this abuse is undeserved! -raj)

February? 2004: Dawn quits the board after the "Newwaverdawn - what kind of crazy are we talkin'?" thread.

Spring 2004: Cpl-593h starts a quarterly singles thread. Midnite Vulture takes over by fall.
The SOMB Mystery Mix.
Geoneb rates his favorite posters in SOMB Madness.
Hickman (Yes? No? -raj) creates the SOMB chatroom on Soulseek and Raj asks people to put it on autojoin, sparking a few brief but mostly uneventful SOMB chats.
NCAA tournament.
Janine returns (Is this time period right, Janine? -raj).

May? 2004: Ben Welsh and Wakingrufus do the final Clampdown radio show. Guests in the show's history include Hickman, William Tell, I-C, Klein and Scott PL.

July 2004: Ben and cpl-593h/Sherriff Sam retire as moderators and Modjam takes over.
AceintheHole, Some Girl and Yancy join.
July 29 2004, 12:04 AM: SOMB moderator Jason debuts the 4th (5th?) incarnation of the message board. Among the changes, guests are no longer allowed to post. This leads to a brief but fierce debate about the worthiness of guests, as well as the name "Guests Rule, Registering Sucks" (which is little more than a historical oddity today).

August 2004: The “Some Girl: Why the avatar change?” thread.

September 2004: Old moderators are accused of tampering with PMs and/or being Jiggawoman. Words are exchanged, threads are deleted.
Saskadelphia and Simakos encourage people to check out a band called Arcade Fire.
Jenny Penny is quoted in the onion (or was it the reader or newcity or something? Was it like an events calendar? -raj). "Let's all get stoned, hang out under (stare at? -raj) the bean and listen to some Tortoise."

October 2004: After he is branded as a rockist in the national press, Jim DeRogatis takes the debate to the SOMB, where he spars with Ben Welsh for a few days before disappearing again.
The "Nine Songs Per Decade" thread.
"Remember the SOMB in 1985?" thread.
Some Girl starts two threads on SOMBies with bands. These eventually served as the foundation for the Plug One Forum.

November 2004: Little Jess is elected president of the board with Some Girl as VP. This doesn’t really go anywhere.
In the wake of the election Ben Welsh starts "Lovers, you must not be lazy," one of the first big YSI threads. Posting presages later Welsh/Good Dr. Bill disputes over thread relevance.
In a pre-show dinner with a hella large group of SOMBies the day after Thanksgiving, ElemenoPT announces to two members of the Arcade Fire: "Would you like to sit with us? We're from an internet message board, Sound Opinions."
Dr. Jimmy, Velocity Girl and Biggie McSmalls join.

December 2004: The Arcade Fire upsets Franz Ferdinand in the year-end albums poll; Usher, Franz and Modest Mouse lead the singles poll. Several months of inspired posts by Jerkass result in his submission of a best-of album list (which includes both Green Day and Juvenile) and his penning of a Green Day "American Idiot" blurb. He is later outed as a member of another message board. The lists grow from a fun poll into a full-fledged event. Once the results were revealed and the post-list discussion wound itself to a close, it was clear that the year-end lists had become the SOMB's raison d'être.
The year-end list and several other lists conducted in early 2005, along with the contributions of several freshman posters, breaths new life into the SOMB in the third prosperous era.
Slackmo and Complain join.

Various 2004: Hickman, Morgan and others win the "You're the Critic" contest and are punished/praised with photos/mockery.
Hickman assails “Marquee Moon” as overrated in an essay proposed for a similarly-themed book.
The "Bump n Grind" debates, ending with the Good Dr. Bill challenging Ben Welsh on 90s R&B knowledge and MV stepping in and winning by default.
The MS Paint album thread captures the minds of SOMBies young and old.
The first ever compilation of tunes by SOMB bands was released. It was initially started by Undo, who turned it over to Norton at some point. “SOMB Sounds Volume One” included songs by The Republicans (Pavement Ist Rad), Kiss n Ride (Matvonthies), Fabian's Children (I-C), Collectors (Maztrax), Gold Coast Refuse (tweed), The Unemployed, What Four (norton's son, charley scott and klunk), Riveria (dp_glono), Amber Smith (Binko), Captain Nobody, CopyrightQ, wakingrufus, psychosumo, Scopdom Scop (Sid Hartha). Volume Two is schedule to begin production next month.
Bobandbob attempts to make SOMB history by creating a 14-disc Intro To Jazz series, which falls mostly on deaf ears.

January 2005: The SOMB Top 500 Albums of All Time. The second all-time albums poll is initiated earlier in 2004 by St. Park, conducted by Lucky Luc in fall 2004 and completed by The Good Dr. Bill, with the results delayed until after the year-end lists were posted. This time around Radiohead nudges out the Clash for the top spot. More significantly, “Automatic For The People” does not make the top 5. Most members are content with these results, but several pages of arguments eventually pile up after a troll member accuses Radiohead of "aping" Pink Floyd.
The Good Dr. Bill starts a thread on his marathon viewings of old music videos and runs up a huge post count, later surpassing Hickman as the lead post holder and holding that #1 slot for a significant length of time for the first time in two or three years.
Drano/Sickpup tells the board to rate the other members of the board. In doing so, he offends many members by not including them ("If you didn't make the list, don't worry, it just means you don't merit inclusion"). Of the hundreds of members of the board, Drano rates a few dozen and gives high grades (over 6.5) to less than 20 members, including thebunk, Morgan, raj, whichonespink, The Good Dr. Bill, Nick, Bhickman, crease, undo, Plan B, and a few more.
The Best of 2004 Film poll was finalized in January, 2005. "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" takes the top spot in the first annual SOMB best film poll. Slackmo and Elemeno remain good friends despite a bitter feud over the merits of "Dogville."

February 2005: The SOMB Top 500, Pt. 2: The Singles. The first ever all-time best singles poll results are revealed in a top 500 countdown hosted by The Good Dr. Bill, complete with sleeve art images and YSIs. "Temptation," "Smells Like Teen Spirit," "Love Will Tear Us Apart," and "Bizarre Love Triangle" lead up to an unexpected number one choice: The Beach Boys' "Wouldn't It Be Nice” / “God Only Knows.” The thread proves to be one of the biggest and most popular in board history.
Several months of gradual incursion by posters from a frequently-crashing King’s X board bubbles over into xenophobic riots with the “Setting the Record Straight on King’s X” thread, currently still the third-biggest thread on the discussion board in total replies.
Ace starts the "Who killed classic rock?" thread, leading to a long, bitter pitched battle primarily between Ace and Raj. Pic spamming eventually kills it.
Mitchell Sterling and Undercooked Sausage join.
Demon Cleaner leaves the board.

March 2005: SOMBie Poker Night in Naperville. Bhickman and Slackmo duke it out with Bhickie taking the pot... Elemeno brags about the best pizza in the world, then burns said pizza while re-heating.
Solace joins.

April 2005: The Crutch inadvertently offends several lurking Metro staffers and (mostly) quits the board.
The box sets begin. Many are never seen again.
Skippy gets married; gay jokes persist.
SOMBie pro wrestling fans have a venue to discuss the sport after Midnite_Vulture starts "The Offical WWE Thread" on the day of Wrestlemania 21. It (temporarily) outpaces "The Offical MLB Thread."
Dr. Jimmy starts a thread on Sufjan Stevens’ “Illinois.”
April 1, 2005: Some Girl propositions board members as an April Fool’s joke. Results vary; five months later, some are still waiting for sex.

May 2005: LCD Soundsystem / MIA show.
Sex for coke.
An innocent thread turns into an all-out cat fight between Msholly and Some Girl before Msholly leaves the board, then later returns and the two make peace.
Yellowgrrl's "Adventures In Bikeriding" thread.
May 8, 2005: Lost In Pittsburgh dies in his sleep, marking the first known SOMBie death.

June 2005: The music video poll.
Montana starts an excessive number of Pink Floyd related threads, in the wake of the band's Live 8 performance.
“The Simpsons,” “Seinfeld,” “The Sopranos,” “Monty Python's Flying Circus,” “Six Feet Under,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “South Park,” “The Twilight Zone,” “The Office” and “Family Guy” are SOMBie's favorite 10 TV shows. Mitchell Sterling conducted the poll, which resulted in a list of 349 shows.

July 2005: Intonation Festival and Lollapalooza. Many SOMBies meet at both events.
The Creepy D group invades the SOMB and is met with hostile but then positive reactions, and assimilates into the board more seamlessly than previous nomadic tribes.
Steve Earle sells song to truck company, sending some portions of the board into a tailspin.
I-C creates a thread where You Send It links from other threads can be simulposted. The thread takes on a life of its own, including prominent leaks.

August 2005: After a quiet period Little Jess returns to regular posting with "Question for the Married Folks" and "Human Studies."
Andy Ant makes drunken posts which may or may not be passes at Ryan.
The Good Dr. Bill's top music videos list is completed. The top ten: 10 Nirvana Heart-Shaped Box Anton Corbijn / 9 Peter Gabriel Sledgehammer Stephen R. Johnson / 8 Bob Dylan Subterranean Homesick Blues D.A. Pennebaker / 7 Radiohead Paranoid Android Magnus Carlsson / 6 Johnny Cash Hurt Mark Romanek / 5 Radiohead Just Jamie Thraves / 4 The White Stripes Fell in Love With a Girl Michel Gondry / 3 Beastie Boys Sabotage Spike Jonze / 2 Weezer Buddy Holly Spike Jonze / 1 Blur Coffee & TV Hammer & Tongs

September 2005: Brad Owen innocently advertises a music trivia contest on the board. Extremely negative reactions by some parties and accusations from a few boarders on the morality of the contest convince organizers to reverse most of their "cheating is OK" policy. Jenny Penny wins, learns the importance of believing in herself.
Wakingrufus becomes a moderator.
Alkaline Drown finishes the Britpop list. The top ten: 10. Bittersweet Symphony – The Verve / 9. Wonderwall – Oasis / 8. Country House – Blur / 7. Born Slippy (NUXX) – Underworld / 6. Disco 2000 – Pulp / 5. Connection – Elastica / 4. Live Forever – Oasis / 3. Girls and Boys – Blur / 2. Alright – Supergrass / 1. Common People - Pulp
September 13, 2005: Raj starts the SOMB Timeline thread.

October 28, 2005: The Godfather is named as the SOMB's number one movie in the 499 best movies list, ending an epic seven-month countdown.
October 31, 2005: SOMB member Pavement Ist Rad releases his solo album about the alphabet.

November 1, 2005: The SOMB singles and album suggestion threads begin in anticipation of year-end voting.
An unusual Sound Opinions radio broadcast raises eyebrows among the SOMB massive as Jim and Greg appear to drop hints throughout the show that something is coming to an end.
November 2, 2005: Sound Opinions announces it will move to NPR in December, making the November 1 show its final broadcast on XRT after 354 shows over seven years on the adult rock station. The announcement, coincidentally paralleling the release of Disney’s “Chicken Little,” sets off several chains of panicked debate and worry concerning the future of the radio show and the message board. In the days following, lurkers and trolls unload a series of accusatory threads that mostly just confuse everyone.
November 8, 2005: A disclaimer about the content of the site goes up on the main page, causing about the same amount of consternation as the actual NPR announcement did. The board responds by starting over a half-dozen threads essentially all saying the same thing.
November 11, 2005: Sound Opinions announces it will begin podcasting; the first podcast features filmmaker Cameron Crowe.

December 2005: A new report feature is added, and the several notorious troll accounts are removed from the board.
Year-end polling unfolds with a series of twists and surprises. “Since You Been Gone,” “Black and White Town,” “Hounds of Love,” “Feel Good Inc.” and “Do You Want To” round out the top five singles. DYWT’s win by eight points – without a single #1 vote – generates a fair amount of debate.
In the albums poll, Sufjan Stevens cruises to an expected easy win, with Andrew Bird, Bloc Party, the New Pornographers and Wolf Parade rounding out the top five. But the album poll also had its share of surprises as artists like Fischerspooner, Tom Vek, Dungen, Rachel Stevens and Konono No. 1 placed high among the expected popular SOMB choices.
Demon Cleaner returns.

January 16, 2006: Server problems lead to a complete board crash and the loss of all data.
January 22, 2006: The 5th (6th?) version of the board is introduced.

In the future there is only drink and birds.


#3 Mitchell


    dirty old man

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Posted 25 January 2006 - 01:54 PM

The SOMB top 351 TV Shows 351 The Benny Hill Show 350 MTV Unplugged 349 Dinner For Five 348 Aeon flux 347 The Lone Ranger 346 Wild Chicago 345 Three Stooges 344 Salute Your Shorts 343 Later With Jools Holland 342 L.A. Law 341 The Man Show 340 Clerks 339 Party of Five 338 Daria 337 Dana Carvey Show 336 the Jackie Thomas Show 335 Mythbusters 334 Dragonball z 333 The Beverlie Hillbillies 332 Blind Date 331 I Love the 90s 330 Wacky races 329 Rumpole of the Bailey 328 Big Train 327 Rugrats 326 Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? 325 The Oprah Winfrey Show 324 Berserk 323 The Dukes of Hazard 322 Tales From the Darkside 321 yokite japan 320 This Week in Baseball 319 The Wonderful World of Disney 318 Dynasty 317 The Newlywed Game 316 The Andy Dick Show 315 Bozo's Circus 314 Drawn Together 313 Digimon 312 Boy Meets World 311 Hey Hey It's Saturday 310 The Day Today 309 Transformers 308 Laverne & Shirley 307 Line of Fire 306 Gigglesnort Hotel 305 Once And Again 304 Dad's Army 303 Wiseguy 302 The Odd Couple 301 Wheel of Fortune 300 Emeril Live 299 Rainbow Brite 298 home run derby 297 Space Giants 296 The Goon Show 295 Berverly Hills 90210 294 Porridge 293 Clarissa Explains it All 292 Ed 291 Love Connection 290 Bottom 289 The Adam and Joe Show 288 VH1 storytellers 287 The Wire 286 Jem 285 Nightline 284 Real sex 283 Project Runway 282 Win Ben Stein's Money 281 The Jeffersons 280 Welcome Back Kotter 279 Trigger Happy TV 278 Wallace and Gromit 277 Rocky's Modern Life 276 Are You Being Served ? 275 Peep Show 274 Hotel Erotica 273 John Safran vs. God 272 The Micallef Programme 271 Beat the Geeks 270 Ray Rayner 269 Night Gallery 268 Project Greenlight 267 Hancock's Half Hour 266 Sunday Morning 265 It's Garry Shandling's Show 264 Rex The Runt 263 Night Flight 262 Night Music 261 Fraggle Rock 260 Smallville 259 The Invaders (original) 258 Some Mothers Do Ave' Em 257 Schoolhouse Rock 256 Dave Allan At Large 255 Wildboyz 254 The Royle Family 253 The Britass Empire 252 Kenny Everett's Television Show 251 History Detectives 250 What Not To Wear 249 Pokemon 248 Neon Genesis Evangelion (Shin) 247 The Mighty Boosh 246 The Fast Show 245 The Sound Opinions show 243 Monday Night Raw 242 Monkey Dust 241 tom goes to the mayor 241 The King of Queens 240 buzzkill 239 Big Brother 238 Action 237 Danger Mouse 236 Press Your Luck 235 Cagney and Lacey 234 The jetsons 233 You Bet Your Life (Groucho version) 232 Fat Albert 231 Laugh In 230 HBO america undercover 229 Knowing Me, Knowing You 228 Green Wing 227 I Love the 80s 226 Fridays (1980) 225 Spitting Image 224 Roots 223 The Electric Company 222 The Blue Planet 221 The Munsters 220 Teachers 219 The Six Million Dollar Man 218 Little Britain 217 Wings 216 The Fresh Prince of Bel Air 215 Dawson's Creek 214 X-Men 213 Pardon the Interruption 212 Phoenix Nights 211 The Weakest Link 210 The Price is Right 209 reno 911 208 Superfriends 207 Inside the actors studio 206 Steptoe And Son 205 full metal alchemy 204 Nighty Night 203 Remote Control 202 Image Union 201 Baseball tonight 200 Macgyver 199 Soul Train 198 Leave it to Beaver 197 Saved By The Bell 196 Neighbours 195 American Idol 194 Good Times 193 The Flintstones 192 real sports with bryant gumbel 191 Scooby Doo 190 The League Of Gentleman 189 Relativity 188 John Safran's Music Jamboree 187 The Adventures of Pete & Pete 186 Square Pegs 185 Max Headroom 184 The McLaughlin Group 183 Star Trek (original) 182 Upright Citizens Brigade 181 Land of the Lost 180 Spaced 179 Only Fools And Horses 178 Monk 177 CSI 176 Kolchack: The Night Stalker 175 Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman 174 Night Court 173 Speed Racer 172 Pop-Up Video 171 The Apprentice 170 Carnivale 169 Da Ali G Show 168 Thundercats 167 Batman (1992) 166 Zoom 165 Mork & Mindy 164 Alias 163 In living color 162 Dinosaurs 161 OH! Super Milk 160 Andy Richter Controls the Universe 159 Newhart 158 Double Dare 157 Hill Street Blues 156 Gilligan's Island 155 The Awful Truth 154 Mad TV 153 Serial Experiments Lain 152 Home Movies 151 Takeshi's Castle/Most Extreme Elimnation Challenge 150 The Amazing Race 149 Tom & Jerry 148 ALF 147 House 146 Nova 145 Malcom in the Middle 144 Teenage Muntant Ninja Turtles 143 Politically Incorrect 142 Black Books 141 The Rockford Files 140 Star Trek: The Next Generation 139 Degrassi Junior High/Degrassi High 138 Rock and Roll Jeopardy 137 Quantum Leap 136 The Monkees 135 Joe Schmo Show 134 The Venture Brothers 133 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 132 The Real World 131 Married With Children 130 The Tom Green Show 129 The State 128 The Newsroom 127 Space Ghost Coast to Coast 126 Iron Chef (Japanese version) 125 Real Time with Bill Maher 124 Whose Line Is It Anyway 123 Fernwood Tonight 122 Alfred Hitchcock Presents 121 DuckTales 120 The Brady Bunch 119 Absolutely Fabulous 118 The Mary Tyler Moore Show 117 OZ 116 American Gladiators 115 Moonlighting 114 Family Feud 113 Three's Company 112 WKRP in Cincinnati 111 Chicago Stories 110 Coupling 109 Red Dwarf 108 Match Game 107 Family Ties 106 The Banana Splits 105 Everybody Loves Raymond 104 The Tonight Show w. J. Carson 103 Father Ted 102 Spongebob Squarepants 101 The Outer Limits 100 120 Minutes 99 I'm Alan Partridge 98 The O.C. 97 Buffy The Vampire Slayer 96 Sports Night 95 The Critic 94 Looney Toons 93 Harvey Birdman: Attorney At Law 92 Roseanne 91 Lost 90 The Late Show w/ David Letterman 89 NYPD Blue 88 The Gilmore Girls 87 Frontline 86 The Carol Burnett Show 85 The West Wing 84 The Cosby Show 83 Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist 82 Behind the Music 81 Aquateen Hunger Force 80 I Love Lucy 79 The Shield 78 Friends 77 Animaniacs 76 Sanford and Son 75 Homicide: Life on the Street 74 Freaks and Geeks 73 Mr. Bean 72 Scrubs 71 The Bob Newhart Show 70 Happy Days 69 NewsRadio 68 Columbo 67 Northern Exposure 66 The Prisoner 65 Sealab: 2021 64 Deadwood 63 The Kids in the Hall 62 Survivor 61 Sesame Street 60 Sex and the City 59 60 Minutes 58 The Honeymooners 57 Jackass 56 Police Squad! 55 Chappelle's Show 54 Frasier 53 St. Elsewhere 52 Barney Miller 51 Law & Order 50 The Andy Griffith Show 49 SOAP 48 The Rocky & Bullwinkle Show 47 Get A Life 46 Sportscenter 45 Get Smart 44 SCTV 43 24 42 Siskel and Ebert 41 Blackadder 40 My So-Called Life 39 The Young Ones 38 The Ren & Stimpy Show 37 Batman (1966) 36 The Tick (1994) 35 Late Night w/ Conan O'Brien 34 Dick Van Dyke Show 33 Taxi 32 King of the Hill 31 ER 30 Dr. Who 29 All in the Family 28 Fawlty Towers 27 Cheers 26 The Wonder Years 25 Pee-Wee's Playhouse 24 The Muppet Show 23 Arrested Development 22 Late Night With David Letterman 21 M*A*S*H 20 The X-Files 19 Mr. Show 18 Futurama 17 The Larry Sanders Show 16 Mystery Science Theater 3000 15 Jeopardy! 14 The Daily Show w/John Stewart 13 Saturday Night Live 12 Beavis and Butthead 11 Twin Peaks 10 Family Guy 9 The Office (BBC) 8 The Twilight Zone 7 South Park 6 Curb Your Enthusiasm 5 Six Feet Under 4 Monty Python's Flying Circus 3 The Sopranos 2 Seinfeld 1 The Simpsons I though I had a copy of the results of the film poll but it doesn't contain the corrections made while I didn't have broadband access or the top 50.
Nice bowl of Crunchy Nut you got here, pretty expensive as I recall.

#4 elcorazon



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Posted 26 January 2006 - 02:56 PM

to elemno:

I'll make this really fucking easy.

Don't ever...EVER fucking respond to my posts again and I'll make goddamn sure to never do so with you.

You have no clue the disconnect between a goddamn message board based on having fun and reality. You fucking know me in reality and you fucking dare to say shit like that? What the fuck?

I'm really upset that we've had this communication breakdown, but I'm not going to listen to you say anymore bullshit about me here. I've been really good not slamming you in return, but you take every opportunity you have to torch me. It's extremely upsetting that something I considered a friendship (maybe not the closest of ones) has ended in such a way. But I just have no use for listening to you play arm chair analyst to my internet personality anymore and claim that it's my real personality. It's sickening.

best post of the new board. Hickman's really on fire now. :lol:
Sail Away: The Songs of Randy Newman -7.5/10
Dusty Springfield - Dusty in Memphis 8.5/10
Buddy & Julie Miller - Written in Chalk wow, first listen, but great great record! 9.3/10
Justin Townes Earle - Midnight at the Moviessurprisingly great, never picked up his past releases, but this one's knocking my socks off right away, 8.7/10
M. Ward - Hold Time 8.0/10
Neko Case -Middle Cyclone her best I've heard is my initial impression, but too soon to rate, haven't had a really good listen yet 7.8/10

#5 Jess


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Posted 26 January 2006 - 04:14 PM

By the by. Member threads added to this forum will also be archived on my web site just in case the board crashes again. I should have done that last time, sorry :(

Archives Backup

#6 By-Tor



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Posted 26 January 2006 - 09:20 PM

I miss Hoosier.
American Military Casualties in Iraq Date Total In Combat American Deaths Since war began (3/19/03): 4253 3421 Since "Mission Accomplished" (5/1/03) (the list) 4114 3313 Since Capture of Saddam (12/13/03): 3792 3115 Since Handover (6/29/04): 3395 2798 Since Obama Inauguration (1/20/09): 24 16 The first number is just deaths; the second number is deaths in combat.

#7 wakingrufus


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Posted 27 January 2006 - 04:52 AM

L2P L2p
Last.fm: Posted Image

#8 wakingrufus


    And then John was a Sombie

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Posted 27 January 2006 - 04:55 AM

L2P L2p L2P L2p L2P L2p
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#9 Jess


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Posted 27 January 2006 - 06:33 PM

Top 150 largely random but sort of working to the top Movie Deaths

#150 Randle P. McMurphy in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
#149 Would-be Scanner in Scanners (1981)
#148 Donald Gennaro in Jurassic Park (1993)
#147 Old Yeller in Old Yeller (1957)
#146 Bernie Bernbaum in Miller's Crossing (1990)
#145 Emil Antonowsky in Robocop (1987)
#144 Marvin LaMarr in Pulp Fiction (1994)
#143 Jill Masterson in Goldfinger (1964)
#142 Terry Chaney in Final Destination (2000)
#141 Major Toht in Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
#140 That man that falls from the bow of the boat as it's sinking, hits something on the way down, and starts spinning in Titanic (1997)
#139 Bors in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
#138 Guard in Austin Powers (1998)
#137 Hazel in Watership Down (1978)
#136 William Wallace in Brveheart (1995)
#135 Terminator in Terminator II: Judgement Day (1991)
#134 Cesare Enrico 'Rico' Bandello in Little Caesar (1931)
#133 Anty in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989)
#132 Maria in Frankenstein (1933)
#131 Jackie Boy in Sin City (2005)
#130 Bambi in Bambi meets Godzilla (1969)
#129 Capt. McCluskey in The Godfather (1972)
#128 Virgil Sollozzo in The Godfather (1972)
#127 Father McGruder in Dead Alive (1992)
#126 Russell Franklin in Deep Blue Sea (1999)
#125 Cody Jarrett in White Heat (1949)
#124 Mufasa in The Lion King (1994)
#123 Jesus in The Passion Of The Christ (2004)
#122 Theodore Donald 'Donny' Kerabatsos in The Big Lebowski (1998)
#121 Child in Eraserhead (1979)
#120 Fredo Corleone in The Godfather Pt. II (1974)
#119 Professor Marcus in The LadyKillers (1955)
#117 Melanie in Jackie Brown (1997)
#116. Shredder (Oroku Saki) in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze (1991)
#115 Magda Goebbels in Downfall (2004)
#114 Joseph Goebbels in Downfall (2004)
#113 Warden Norton in The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
#112. Torgo in Manos: The Hands Of Fate
#111 Spock in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
#110. Barry Convex in Videodrome (1982)
#109. Jeffrey in The Killer (1989)
#108. Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez in Highlander(1986)
#107 Arab Swordsman in Radiers of The Lost Ark
#106 Major Strasser in Casablanca (1942)
#105 Colonel Nicholson in Bridge Over The River Kwai (1957)
#104 Hank Quinlan in A Touch Of Evil (1958)
#103 Thelma Yvonne Dickinson in Thelma and Louise (1991)
#102 Louise Elizabeth Sawyer in Thelma and Louise (1991)
#101 Zander Barcalow in Starship Troopers (1997)
#100 Spartacus in Spartacus (1960)
#99. T-Bird in The Crow(1994)
#98 Taketori Washizu in Throne of Blood(1957)
#97 Romeo in Romeo and Juliet (1968)
#96 Juliet in Romeo and Juliet (1968)
#95. Private Gomer Pyle/Leonard Lawrence in Full Metal Jacket (1987)
#94 Ratso Rizzo in Midnight Cowboy (1969)
#94. Toby Dammit in Spirit of the Dead (1968)
#93 Maude in Harold & Maude (1971)
#91. The Penguin(Oswald Cobblepot) in Batman Returns (1992)
#90 Evelyn Mulwray in Chinatown (1974)
#89. Concha in Santa Sangre (1989)
#88 Teddy in Memento (2000)
#87. William Blake in Dead Man (1995)
#86. David Lo Pan in Big Trouble in Little China (1986)
#85. Han in Enter The Dragon (1973)
#84 Bene in City Of God (2002)
#83. Karen in Ichi The Killer (2001)
#82 Mr. Orange in Reservoir Dogs (1991)
#81. Johnny In The Outsiders (1983)
#80 Ian Curtis in 24 Hour Party People (2002)
#79 Paul Allen in American Psycho (2000)
#78. Jabba The Hutt in Star Wars Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi (1983)
#77 Jack Vincennes in L.A. Confidential
#76 Gollum in LOTR: The Return Of The King (2003)
#75. Leon in Leon: The Professional (1994)
#74. Detective Norman Stansfield in Leon: The Professional (1994)
#73 John Merrick in The Elephant Man (1980)
#72. "Evil" Ash in Army Of Darkness (1993)
#71 Sgt. Pemebury in The Silence Of The Lambs (1991)
#70 Capt. Rhodes in Day Of The Dead (1985)
#69. David in Shaun of the Dead (2004)
#68 Arthur Charles Herbert Runcie MacAdam Jarrett in Monty Python's Meaning Of Life (1983)
#67 Christina Delasalle in Les Diaboliques (1955)
#66 Mrs. Deagle in Gremlins (1984)
#65. Gretchen in Donnie Darko (2001)
#64 Tom Yorke in The Untouchables (1987)
#63 Jack Carter in Get Carter (1972)
#61. The Two Girls in the opening scene - Suspiria (1977)
#60 Butch Cassidy in Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid (1969)
#59 The Sundance Kid in Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid (1969)
#58. Patrick (Sound Man #1) in Man Bites Dog (1997)
#57. Franco (Sound Man #2) in Man Bites Dog (1997)
#56. Vincent (Sound Man #3) in Man Bites Dog (1997)
#55. Mom - Carrie (1976)
#54 Damien Karras in The Exorcist (1973)
#53 "This guy" in Nightmare on Elm St. III (1986)
#52 Mari Collingwood in Last House On The Left
#51 David Warner in The Omen (1976)
#50. Russell Casse in Independence Day (1996)
#49 Nikonar 'Nick' Chevotarevichin The Deer Hunter (1978)
#48. Apollo Creed in Rocky IV (1985)
#47 The Wicked Witch of The West in The Wizard of Oz (1939)
#46 Sonny Corleone in The Godfather (1972)
#45. Mickey Goldmill in Rocky III (1982)
#44 Casey Becker in Scream (1996)
#43 Mickey in The Ice Storm (1997)
#42 Harry Lime In The Third Man (1949)
#41. Joker/Jack Napier in Batman (1989)
#40 Kevin in Frank Miller's Sin City (2005)
#39 Judy Barton/Madeleine Elster in Vertigo (1958)
#38 Billy Batts in Goodfellas (1990)
#37. Lester Burnham in American Beauty (1999)
#36 Chrisse Watkins in Jaws (1975)
#35 Hugh in On Deadly Ground (1991)
#34 Vito Corleone in The Godfather
#33. Captain Needa in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
#32 Col. Kurtz and a Buffalo in Apocalypse Now (1979)
#31. Boris Grishenko in Goldeneye (1995)
#30 Sheriff "Little Bill" Daggett in Unforgiven (1992)
#29 Phill Conners in Groundhog Day (1993)
#28 Nicky Santoro in Casino (1995)
#27 Johnny Smith in Dead Zone (1983)
#26 Charles Foster Kane in Citizen Kane (1941)
#25 Jack Torrence in The Shining (1980)
#24 Jesse Ventura in Predator (1987)
#23. Norman Osborn (Green Goblin) in Spider-man (2002)
#22 Sgt. Elias in Platoon (1986)
#21 Maximus Decimus Meridius in Gladiator (2000)
#20 Darth Vader in Star Wars Episode VI: Return Of The Jedi (1983)
#19 Mr. Creoste in Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983)
#18. Yoda in Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)
#17 Some black dude in American History X (1998)
#16 Captain America-Wyatt in Easy Rider (1969)
#15 Billy in Easy Rider (1969)
#14. The Warden in Riki-Oh (1991)
#13 HAL in 2001: A Space Oddity (1968)
#12 Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars (1978)
#11 Roy Batty in Blade Runner
#10. That nameless dude who gets his head smashed randomly for absolutely no reason in Riki-Oh(1991)
#9 Carl Showalter in Fargo (1996)
#8 Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow in Bonnie and Clyde (1967)
#7 Bambi's Mother In Bambi (1942)
#6.5. Tony Montana in Scarface (1983)
#6 Hans Gruber in Die Hard (1988)
#5 Major Kong and everyother fucker in Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1963)
#4 Lucas "Luke" Jackson in Cool Hand Luke (1967)
#3 Kane In Alien (1979)
#2 King Kong In King Kong (1933)
#1 Marion Crane In Psycho (1960)
#0 Don Fannuci In Godfather, Part II(1974)

* no 92 so 6.5 is really number 7, 7 is 8 etc. Will edit another time.

SOMB top 100 albums of 2005

100 Iron & Wine Woman King 258 10
99 Sons & Daughters The Repulsion Box 258 9
98 Nada Surf The Weight is a Gift 258 8 1
97 The Constantines Tournament of Hearts 259 8 1
96 Sunn 0))) Back One 259 8
95 The Editors The Back Room 262 8
94 Saint Etienne Tales from Turnpike House 262 8
93 Serena Manesh Serena Manesh 275 9
92 The Books Lost and Safe 279 8
91 Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Howl 285 9 1
90 Supergrass Road to Rouen 287 10
89 Shout Out Louds Howl Howl Gaff Gaff 295 10
88 The Fiery Furnaces EP 296 10 1
87 Boy Least Likely To The Best Party Ever 309 13
86 Depeche Mode Playing the Angel 309 11
85 Ryan Adams Jacksonville City Nights 311 10
84 Elbow Leaders of the Free World 317 11
83 Super Furry Animals Love Kraft 323 9 1
82 Richard Hawley Cole's Corner 326 10
81 Engineers Engineers 332 11
80 Tom Vek We Have Sound 332 10
79 New Order Waiting for the Sirens' Call 333 10 1
78 Devin Davis Lonely People of the World, Unite! 335 9 1
77 Isolee Wearemonster 339 10
76 Kaiser Chiefs Employment 346 12
75 The Raveonettes Pretty in Black 348 11
74 Boards of Canada The Campfire Headphase 353 12
73 Deerhoof Long Runners Four 356 9 2 1
72 The Pernice Brothers Discover a Lovelier You 357 12
71 Smog A River Ain't Too Much Love 359 11
70 The Mountain Goats The Sunset Tree 377 12 1
69 Stars Set Yourself on Fire 377 12
68 Jamie Lidell Multiply 377 11
67 The Juan MacLean Less Than Human 392 13
66 Lightning Bolt Hypermagic Mountain 400 15 3
65 Hood Outside Closer 402 11 1
64 Iron & Wine / Calexico In the Reins 408 15
63 Queens of the Stone Age Lullabies to Paralyze 411 13
62 DangerDoom The Man and the Mask 426 13
61 Caribou The Milk of Human Kindnesss 427 14 1
60 Kings of Leon Aha Shake Heartbreak 428 15
59 Dungen Ta Det Lungt 431 11 1
58 System of a Down Mesmerize 435 9 1 1
57 Konono No. 1 Congotronics 441 12
56 Vitalic OK Cowboy 442 15
55 The Magic Numbers The Magic Numbers 460 19
54 Garrett Kriston George Takei's Rock & Roll Primer 465 18 1
53 Rachel Stevens Come and Get It 468 13
52 Ryan Adams Cold Roses 472 14 1 1
51 Devandra Banhart Cripple Crow 473 17
50 The Russian Futurists Our Thickness 479 16 1 1
49 Low The Great Destroyer 495 14 1
48 Common Be 498 14
47 Fischerspooner Odyssey 502 14 1
46 British Sea Power Open Season 513 17
45 Of Montreal The Sunlandic Twins 517 15
44 The Clientele Strange Geometry 549 17
43 Silver Jews Tanglewood Numbers 557 16 1 1
42 Akron / Family Akron / Family 560 15 3
41 Opeth Ghost Reveries 563 13 1
40 Stephen Malkmus Face the Truth 585 14 1
39 M Ward Transistor Radio 592 15 1
38 Broadcast Tender Buttons 593 17 1
37 Edan The Beauty and the Beat 601 15
36 Architecture in Helsinki In Case We Die 610 15
35 Art Brut Bang Bang Rock and Roll 632 20 2 1
34 Coldplay X & Y 648 18 2
33 Antony + the Johnsons I Am a Bird Now 668 19 2 4
32 The Hold Steady Separation Sunday 673 18 1
31 M.I.A. Arular 675 23 12
30 Ladytron The Witching Hour 711 17 2
29 Fiona Apple Extraordinary Machine 717 19
28 Rogue Wave Descended Like Vultures 747 20
27 Beck Guero 758 23
26 The Decemberists Picaresque 770 24 4
25 Animal Collective Feels 813 24 1 1
24 Bright Eyes I'm Wide Awake It's Morning 846 24 1 1
23 The Go! Team Thunder Lightning Strike 854 22 2
22 Maximo Park A Certain Trigger 895 25 1
21 Doves Some Cities 909 28
20 Out Hud Let Us Never Speak of It Again 929 24 2
19 Sigur Ros Takk 946 23 1
18 Kanye West Late Registration 971 27 1
17 Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! 1038 31 6
16 The National Alligator 1062 27 3
15 Okkervil River Black Sheep Boy 1098 29 1 1
14 My Morning Jacket Z 1148 30 1 1
13 Broken Social Scene Broken Social Scene 1185 35 1
12 Gorillaz Demon Days 1209 30 2
11 Franz Ferdinand You Could Have it So Much Better 1217 39 3
10 Sleater-Kinney The Woods 1286 31 6 1
9 The White Stripes Get Behind Me Satan 1287 35 3 1
8 M83 Before the Dawn Heals Us 1400 39 2 4
7 LCD Soundsystem LCD Soundsystem 1445 39 1
6 Spoon Gimme Fiction 1514 42 1
5 Andrew Bird The Mysterious Production of Eggs 1576 36 9 2
4 Bloc Party Silent Alarm 1624 42 3 3
3 The New Pornographers Twin Cinema 1635 45 3 1
2 Wolf Parade Apologies to the Queen Mary 1733 44 3 4
1 Sufjan Stevens Illinois 2363 53 9 13

QUOTE(raj @ Dec 29 2005, 11:04 PM)
After Hickman left and then returned he displayed a new, vaguely Eastern sense of peacefullness, shed most of his troll entourage and cut his posting rate by about 4/5ths. This ILX outburst is probably the closest he's come to 2003 Hickman since. The missionary zeal is new, I suppose - the idea that this is some sort of battle for a noble purpose is vaguely Sickpupian, although it lacks the elaborate ideological underpinnings and seems to be more of a general call to arms.

QUOTE(wh1tep0ny @ Jul 9 2005, 01:01 PM)
Oh my god my neihbor who I don't even know had someone pick them up and they honked

I was in the middle of a dream where I was hanging out with Kirsten Dunst and Maggie Gylenhall

I was so pissed I ran outside in my underwear (not a pretty site) and yelled

you fucking asshole you just ruined my chance to bang kristen or maggie in my sleep"

they looked at me like I was nuts

Posted Image

KaBoom21Jul 18 2005, 09:18 AM

QUOTE(letsplay2 @ Jul 15 2005, 02:03 PM)
I know! I know!

Last night, your 400 lb boyfriend Tyrone was ass-pounding you while you were on all fours as you screamed in ecstacy. 700 pounds of man-meat glistening in sweat, as your bodies swayed in unison to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot playing lightly in the background. As you were overcome with physical pleasure, your bowels abruptly exploded, as a geyser of shit exploded over Tyrone's legs. Tyrone, after being horrified with the stench covering himself, then shoots massive projectiles of puke all over your back.

The 2 of you then climb out out of bed to look at your bed of love covered in shit and puke. You both vow to clean it up, put your thongs back on, and head towards the kitchen for a dinner of pasta, chicken, pork chops, chicken, and ice cream.

Later that night, you burnt your hand. I'm not sure how.

#10 undo


    future thug

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Posted 27 January 2006 - 11:28 PM

tonight was awesome...

i drive this busboy named Giovanni home from work occasioanlly, he lives near me and makes me laugh like crazy so it's my pleasure to have him in my car after an annoying day at work. i usually drop him off at this weird place he calls "la taverna" and laughs when i ask if i can go in with him.

so... tonight, he takes me up on it. i park and we buzz the doorbell of this place. it is a shit-hole, all broken down brick that's painted royal blue, no windows. looks like a closed business. it's on Chicago Ave. just east of Knoble.

we go inside and he introduces me as "el oso" to everybody and they fucking love me. the guys there are mostly in their 20's, all mexicans who work in restaurants, and this is their own little private club with a locked door.

it's awesome. 3 kinds of beer (corona, modello, and MGD), 3 of the most tilted broken down pool tables you've ever seen. all guys, no girls at all and everybody is watching soccer on the TV just chilling out and drinking.

you guys would love this place! 2 dollar beers, actually pretty good mexican guitar music while i was playing pool. really mellow, i actually felt like i was hanging out in mexico on vacation.

anyway, i stay a while and have a few laughs with a bunch of new friends and then eventually leave and lock the door behind me as a bunch of my new amigos are chanting, "EL OSO! EL OSO! EL OSO!"

it was great...

dude on my floor freshman year drank a shot of piss and ate a forkfull of shit for $27 once so he could go to a concert. wow, i've forgotten about this story. he only needed $20 for the tix, kid goes door to door on our floor asking how much everyone would contribute if he accomplished the feat. colleges are always trying to foster community nowadays in the res halls, we were like a gang community, a gang of 22 white/black/puerto rican/jewish/basketball playing/goth/rock/runners/wrestlers/football players. its amazing we all got along so well, probably had something to do with our common belief in destruction and mayhem. anyway, he gets about 2/3 of the floor to gather in the giant community bathroom for him to attempt it. it wasn't even his excrement. the piss was a mixture of 2 other dude's piss, and the shit was this skinny black kid's, he took a dump and fished it out with a styrofoam bowl. so he takes the shot of piss like it's a glass of water -- no problem. the shit, different story. grabs a plastic fork and gets a forkfull of it, smells it a few times while we're all dry-heaving into the sinks. takes the bite, fucking CHEWS it, tries his damnedest not to throw up, and chases it with a pepsi. this story would be 100x better if i knew what show he had to go see, but i was 2-3 months away from getting into music so i didn't care.
he's also the only person i've ever seen kick another man in the head while wearing combat boots. scary

Posted Image

I forgot a Spin Doctors story from when I was younger...

Once I was at a neighbor kid's house when I was in 7th or 8th grade. (right when Pocket Full of Shit Tonight had come out, apparently.) We had just come in from playing basketball and he said, "Hey, check this out!" He then proceeded to play "Little Miss Can't Be Wrong" at a high volume and began dancing around the room, headbanging and stuff.

Well, at the time I was really into N.W.A. and similar groups. I was so instantly shocked/confused/angered by this kid's display of sissiness that my only knee-jerk reaction was to pin the kid down and start punching him. I don't really know why I reacted this way, but I let him have it. To this day, everytime I hear it I wonder how awful it must have been to take a beatdown to this song.

The kid and I never really spoke again....very awkward.

It was an incredible experience.

Got back into Chicago this morning at about 8:00. Tired, sore, a bit swampy, but feeling pretty satisfied. I've never experienced anything like the crowd's reaction when the animal's limo rolled on past. We had been out there (such a great turnout) doing what you'd expect with the rallies, speeches, chants, discussions, and wishing they provided port-a-pots in our area like they did in the "special guest," area. Fortunately, all the mink coat mothers, red nosed husbands, and their cherub like offspring were forced to walk RIGHT through the primary counter-inaugural area. I'm willing to bet one of the designers of that layout lost their job the next morning. So there are no bathrooms or food within any reasonable distance of where we're staked out for half a dozen hours in the 25 degree weather and we're being baited and sneered at by these brash Bush supporters trailing through. Needless to say, things came to a head eventually. Basically any law enforcement vehicle, limo, or tour bus emblazoned with the "W" or cowboy hat insignia that passed by us, felt us. They had cops two deep and shoulder to shoulder down the length of the street that had to maintain composure while this crowd leaned over the barrier and berated everything that went by with obscenities. ((I just realized I'm ranting and raving. I'm on no sleep, so please excuse my incoherence.))

Back to where I was going though. When Bush's limo went by things got primal. The dudes on the drums abandoned all rhythm and just started pounding out like machine guns. Everybody pushed forward and was perched on the tips of their toes. You could see and feel the body language of everyone morph from a loose cold weather bob to strained muscles and clenched teeth. Every single sign shot up, along with every middle finger. Then came the noise...holy fucking shit...the noise. I've heard about the "hounds of hell," and I can now nod knowingly when I hear the term.

Fuck, fuck you, fuck you motherfucking father fucking fuckwad, fuck you murderer, I'd kill you if I had the chance, I'll kill you if they let me past, I'll find my way to you one of these days and end your life, murderer, killer, bastard, devil, satan, hitler...

and plenty of other magical phrases emerged from that collective howl. It's amazing what was said that went without a response from the security. The barriers were pushed to their limit and you saw the concern just drop like a shroud over the cops in the streets. The monkey president's limo was pressed firmly against the opposite corner from ours, where the largest demonstration was being held. Luckily (I think...) he came and went fast enough that the crowd lost their target and leaned back enough to save the barriers from going down. If the barriers had went down, every one of us would have been on the streets and I don't even want to think about what would have happened at that point.

The security there was like something from a fucking movie. I have some pictures, but they're on a disposable, so when I get around to it I'll try to toss a few up. They frisked EVERY PERSON (I shouldn't say EVERY, because something tells me plenty of donors and such received complimentary blowjobs before entry) that seeked entrance into the streets surrounding the parade. It was roughly a three hour wait in line to get through the security check point and we actually got there relatively early. Thousands of people were still behind us when we got through, so I question how many actually got in. There were snipers and masked cameramen on top of damn near every building. I understand that intimidation was probably the motive, but this was ridiculous. At one point we organized about 200 people to smile, wave, and shout at one of the roof top posts. In a matter of seconds all five or six figures had ducked down out of sight. Lots of weird shit like that was going on all over the place.

I guess that's one crazy protestor's disjointed point of view from the inaugural celebration. We spent over 30 hours on the bus between Wednesday evening and Friday morning. I met some awesome people on our buses over the short trip, and really got a taste for the eccentric crowd that made up the entire demonstration itself. The experience will never allow me to look at protestors, and quite possibly the government, the same ever again. If you've read this far you're probably fucking nuts.

#11 Mitchell


    dirty old man

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Posted 27 January 2006 - 11:58 PM

One of my ex-girlfriends created a new personality for herself a few months after we started dating, a 13 year old girl that ran away from her nomadic eskimo family and was afraid of physical intimacy of any kind, even kissing. She would always claim to be worried about her family, and I would have to reassure her that they were ok and play along with her if I wanted any kind of physical contact with her that night. It was a little unsettling. She was also 16. But, as has been the story of my life, she ended up dumping me.

Another girl dumped me two weeks after we started dating because I paid for her coffee at Barnes and Noble. I guess she took it as me trying to control her.

Back in high school, a girl I was dating tried to kill herself on our second month anniversary because I had to work that night and couldn't do anything with her. I dumped her while she was still in the hospital.

I wish I could say I made these up, because they're pretty pathetic, but I tend to fall for the crazy ones, and I usually bring out the worst in them and vice versa.

Once, in a similiar intimate situation, sharing a private conversation in close quarters, my partner professed a belief in mystic powers and mocked the origins of man postulated by science. It was fairly innocuous, touchy-feelie stuff about moonbeams and miracles, but something about her assured attitude and casual dismissal of reason caused the blood to drain out of my private parts. The thrill was gone. Despite her pliancy, I couldn't bring myself to touch her. I think I pretended to be sexually conservative ("I want to get to know you better.") to weasel out of sex. Should I have lied? It seemed kinder than saying "I reject your worldview."

Dear Jim,

Man did you get it wrong. But that's nothing new, is it? Sometimes I wonder why a deranged hack like you is getting paid by The Sun-Times while an honest, hard-working guy like me pours his blood sweat and tears into Static Multimedia (www.staticmultimedia.com). I mean, seriously, why don't I have your job? I know I could do it. All my friends at Static and several SOMBies (the ones I respect) say I'd be much better at it than you.

Sometimes I have dreams where I'm hosting the Sound Opinions show with Greg. And people are calling in to the show and telling me how great I am, how I'm sooo much better than you. And then the dream goes on and it's daytime, and I'm sitting at my desk at the Sun-Times, setting up interviews with Ryan Adams and trading joke emails with Roger Ebert.

Why isn't this dream a reality? Quit your job, Jim. Give it to me. I want it. I can't tell you how badly. Okay, maybe I'll give you a hint. I fucking want your job, Jim, and I'm willing to rip your fucking head off for it. That's right, I want to fucking kill you, you fuckface! Give me your fucking job, you fuck! You cunthead! You shit stain! Give me your fucking job, right fucking now!!

Brett Hickman
p.s. Can I send you some of my reviews?

I was going to write another huge, self-centered post about the trip, but the guy I went with drew an artistic representation that explains the trip much better than I ever could:
Posted Image
From the top left, going clockwise, some explanations:

The tree represents the big apple, which was the first place we actually stopped for more than a few hours. We spent the previous two nights in Charlotte and Philly, but there is nothing to do in either of those towns besides eat sleep (Charlotte) and eat cheese steaks and attempt to flirt with Villanova girls (Philly).

The cathedral is for Boston, which was the last city we visited. We drove in from Montreal that afternoon to see Architecture in Helsinki/Dr. Dog/Aqueduct (notice the Cemetery between tree man and scientologist wherewolf, and Dr. Dog in the bottom left corner). Pretty good show, but we only got to spend an hour or so in Cambridge before the show, and had to go straight to Milton, MA to stay with his uncle after the show was over. We only saw boston from across the river.

The cop was a state trooper in Maryland, who, as soon as we rolled down the window, said:

I caught you going 77 in a 6...you boys smoke marijuana!?

No sir.

Then what's this! (reaches into our car and grabs a piece of dirt and a twig, both of which are obviously not marijuana).

Step out of the car, please.

*at this point, we got searched, I got my balls cupped by a cop, and then had to watch him ransack our car for 30 minutes while the buddy cop chats us up 30 feet away*

The buddy cop was this boring asshole from Maine who was trying to interrogate us in as casual a way as possible. The funniest thing he said was "If you guys are from Alabama, why don't you have accents?"

We explained to him that we live in a University town and that not everyone in the south talks like Boss Hogg. He was disappointed, as I think he was trying to implicate us in some vast criminal conspiracy.

Anyway, the cop obviously finds nothing, gives us a warning, and sends us on our merry way without even a hint of an apology.

The delicious sandwich next to the cop was from Quizno's, the sub place we were thrilled to find right as we were about to settle for McDonald's before seeing Ween in Vermont. Finding Quizno's was the first of many things that went right that night. More on the Ween show and the two sketchballs that tried to give us LSD after the show later.

The old guy in the beard was one of the many orthodox jews we saw when we got lost in Brooklyn Sunday afternoon...I had only seen one or two in person my whole life, so to see hundreds walking the streets at once made me positively giddy.

The evil coney island food is represented by the cheese fries-headed villian in the bottom right. I made the mistake of eating at Nathan's before we went into across the narrows, and could only enjoy Polyphonic Spree and Belle and Sebastian because of it. I had a splitting headache all day, fell asleep next to the soundboard earlier in the afternoon, and puked my way through Beck's set. I capped off my night by leaving the last of my stomach acid on the pavement in front of Coney Island's lovely Unity Towers. As an added bonus, we got to spend the night at an overpriced Ramada Inn in Paramas, NeW jErSeY!!! Not the best night of the trip, to say the least.

That's the golden eel, the first song Ween played in Burlington, in the bottom right corner. Ween exceeded all my expectations that night, playing 32 songs over three hours, including a bunch of rareties from GodWeenSatan and some stuff from Shinola that they were playing live for the first time. They even pulled out Homo Rainbow to end the first set. Deaner even took the time out to ridicule the audience a few times..."Turn up the lights, please....yeah, it's a sausage party. Guess all your girlfriends couldn't make it."

Setlist for my fellow Ween SOMBies:

The Golden Eel
Baby Bitch
Piss Up A Rope
Take Me Away
Don't Get 2 Close (2 My Fantasy)
The Stallion Pt. 5
Voodoo Lady
Back To Basom
Bananas And Blow
Leave Deaner Alone (brand new song)
Push th' Little Daises/ The Mollusk
Waving My Dick In The Wind
Papa Zit (!!!)
I'll Be Your Johnny On The Spot
Ocean Man
Pandy Fackler
The Goin Get Tough
Captain (they did the Captain jam)
Shes Your Baby
Chocolate Town
I Don't Want It
Marble Tulip Juicy Tree
Did You See Me?
Never Squeal (Extended drum solo)
Homo Rainbow

Applause/ Encore Intro

Sketches Of Winkle
Monique The Freak
The Blarney Stone (w/ extra verse)

Next is me (don't know why I look like a hare krishna) and the guy I went with (as a priest). Between us is Julia Stiles, who was the first and only celebrity we saw while in NYC. We saw her as we were walking across the street to 14th St. and 2nd Avenue, and in my excitement, I pointed to her and yelled "That's Julia Stiles!" She glared at me for a split second, and continued walking. What a frigid bitch. Then again, I'm sure I made the same mistake as hundreds of other tourist assholes by acknowledging her presence. It's NYC, guess I should have minded my own business.

The only thing we did in Montreal was drink some gin and walk around downtown. I enjoyed my visit there, but I don't think I'll be going back any time soon. Waaaaaaaay too french for me. Next time I can get out of the country, I'm headed to Vancouver instead.

That's about it...a bunch of other stuff happened, but those were the biggest events. Like I said, we got smoked up and offered LSD by some ween fans after the show in the Higher Ground parking lot, but that was more sketchy than fun. I was too paranoid about a cop driving past us, and us ending the night in a holding cell next to our new friends to enjoy their company. The one that wasn't a hippy was a 35 year old father of two who is also an aspiring emcee. He walked out on his family in Hawaii and moved to Maine, pretty much only because it's the farthest you can go from Hawaii without leaving the country. He told us some bullshit stories about the minimum wage in Hawaii being $15 and him making assloads of money there, and says he's going back, and that he can get us jobs there when he does. No thanks.

We also got hassled for a good half hour by some Scientologists trying to sell us on Dianetics. The best part of that whole thing was when the mexican guy told us that buying L. Ron Hubbard's book was the best and only way to solve our stress related problems. I asked him "What did people do before he wrote that book?"

That was when he finally let us go.

We saw Capote right after that in Times Square, pretty great movie, Hoffman is as good as everyone says he is in it, and I'm sure he'll win the oscar for his performance. It was nice to see my home state represented in an arthouse movie. Catherine Keener will probably win an oscar as well for her performance as Harper Lee.

To Diesel over Napoleon Dynamite.

well then, I don't know what to say, except just hang it the fuck up already, oldy mcoldster. Go listen to your Maiden records or something.

user posted image

That's you up there. You and some chick that's also old. "Why, back in my day, we had teen movies that didn't have annoying chracters and weren't smarmy and had good old-fashioned fart jokes and blah blah blah blah"

Posted Image

Yeah, that's the shit that was being built when you were a kid. That's what was "culturally relevant" in your time. Seriously dude, you're ancient. Give it up.

Nice bowl of Crunchy Nut you got here, pretty expensive as I recall.

#12 undo


    future thug

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Posted 28 January 2006 - 12:11 AM

From the Britpop poll as conducted by AlkalineDrown and posted in September, 2005.

Should have had this up awhile ago, but heres a rundown of the top 125:

125. Everything Must Go – Manic Street Preachers
124. Something Changed – Pulp
123. Can't Get Out of Bed – The Charlatans
122. Slide Away – Oasis
121. Suicide is Painless (Theme From M*A*S*H*) - Manic Street Preachers
120. Say You'll Be There – Spice Girls
119. Driftwood – Travis
118. Wish I Was Skinny – Boo Radleys
117. Bluetonic – The Bluetones
116. Love is the Law – The Seahorses
115. New Generation – Suede
114. Why Does It Always Rain On Me – Travis
113. God! Show Me Magic – Super Furry Animals
112. Lucky You – The Lightning Seeds
111. We Hate It When Our Friends Become Successful – Morrissey
110. Grey Cell Green – Ned's Atomic Dustbin
109. Rocks – Primal Scream
108. Stars – Dubstar
107. Wild Wood – Paul Weller
106. Lucky Man – The Verve
105. London Belongs To Me – Saint Etienne
104. Goldfinger – Ash
103. Waking Up – Elastica
102. Just When You're Thinkin' Things Over – The Charlatans
101. Stay Together – Suede
100. Nice Guy Eddie – Sleeper
99. North Country Boy – The Charlatans
98. Lazarus – Boo Radleys
97. The Concept – Teenage Fanclub
96. The Only One I Know – The Charlatans
95. King of the Kerb - Echobelly
94.Dreams – The Cranberries
93. Morning Glory – Oasis
92. Come Together – Spiritualized
91. De-Luxe – Lush
90. Staying Out for the Summer – Dodgy
89. The Riverboat Song – Ocean Colour Scene
88. Tattva – Kula Shaker
87. Kung Fu – Ash
86. Alright – Cast
85. Like A Friend – Pulp
84. Back For Good – Take That
83. Don't Go Away – Oasis
82. Come Together – Primal Scream
81. In the Name of the Father – Black Grape
80. Motorcycle Emptiness – Manic Street Preachers
79. Cast No Shadow – Oasis
78. This is Hardcore – Pulp
77. Wannabe – Spice Girls
76. The Last Dance – Disco Inferno
75. So Young – Suede
74. Loaded – Primal Scream
73. This is Music – The Verve
72. The Drugs Don't Work – The Verve
71. Fake Plastic Trees – Radiohead
70. Trash – Suede
69. The Car Song – Elastica
68. Regret – New Order
67. Three Lions '96 – Baddiel, Skinner, and the Lightning Seeds
66. Middle of the Road – Denim
65. Mansize Rooster – Supergrass
64. Just – Radiohead
63. Mis-shapes – Pulp
62. The Day We Caught the Train – Ocean Colour Scene
61. High and Dry – Radiohead
60. On Your Own – The Verve
59. You're In a Bad Way – Saint Etienne
58. Supersonic – Oasis
57. Beetlebum – Blur
56. Statuesque – Sleeper
55. Sorted for E's & Wizz – Pulp
54. Sleep Well Tonight – Gene
53. A Life Less Ordinary – Ash
52. Reverend Black Grape – Black Grape
51. Daydreamer – Menswear
50. This is a Low – Blur
49. Something 4 The Weekend – Super Furry Animals
48. Do You Remember the First Time – Pulp
47. History – The Verve
46. Good Enough – Dodgy
45. Sun Hits the Sky – Supergrass
44. Late in the Day – Supergrass
43. Some Might Say – Oasis
42. Yes – McAlmont & Butler
41. Ten Storey Love Song – The Stone Roses
40. Brimful of Asha – Cornershop
39. Whatever – Oasis
38. Stutter – Elastica
37. Laid – James
36. Rock and Roll Star – Oasis
35. Parklife – Blur
34. Female of the Species – Space
33. Inbetweener – Sleeper
32. Wide Open Space – Mansun
31. You're Gorgeous – Babybird
30. Slight Return – The Bluetones
29. Wake Up Boo – Boo Radleys
28. Love Spreads – The Stone Roses
27. A Girl Like You – Edwyn Collins
26. A Design For Life – Manic Street Preachers
25. End of a Century – Blur
24. For Tomorrow – Blur
23. I Spy – Pulp
22. Don't Look Back in Anger – Oasis
21. Babies – Pulp
20. To The End – Blur
19. Caught By the Fuzz – Supergrass
18. Acquiesce – Oasis
17. Ladykillers – Lush
16. The Drowners – Suede
15. Champagne Supernova – Oasis
14. Animal Nitrate – Suede
13. Girl From Mars – Ash
12. Setting Sun – Chemical Brothers f. Noel Gallagher
11. The Universal – Blur
10. Bittersweet Symphony – The Verve
9. Wonderwall – Oasis
8. Country House – Blur
7. Born Slippy (NUXX) – Underworld
6. Disco 2000 – Pulp
5. Connection – Elastica
4. Live Forever – Oasis
3. Girls and Boys – Blur
2. Alright – Supergrass
1. Common People - Pulp

I admit, I was entertained by Meet the Parents. Definintely worth seeing once.

Ladies and gents, I give you the AFTERSHOCK impression of Meet the Fockers:

Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Geriatrics learning a reverse cowgirl Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Dog has sex with cat Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker Focker.

Somewhere in there is a joke, right? Something about this is funny, right? Oh hell, just get the original cast back with a few other superstars hamming it up and it'll sell. Brilliant!

Church can be awesome! When they play instrumentals on the organ, when you are checking out the female churchgoers.

Ryan, 10/21/05, on the SOMMB Nightout/Band Roundup for 12/1/05:

If even half of those showing interest actually show up, there will be some sort of wrinkle in time. It will start out with a low crackle, then the sky will open up, the big blue microscopic hair at the top of the board will appear, and we'll have to sacrifice somebody to it to save the rest of the sombies. After that there will be tears, fighting, and broken mix cd's scattered as far as the eye can see. Then Jim and Greg will float through the entrance wearing blue silk robes, all the doors will lock mysteriously, the music will stop, because it will be time...time for their revenge. Or I guess it could just be a good show and a fine chance to meet some of you fucking queers.

Although he might as well have been talking about the Sox winning the Series. ;) (you read it here first)

#13 undo


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Posted 28 January 2006 - 12:30 AM

10/28/05, CoolRock advises Little Jess on how to reignite the "spark" in a longterm relationship:

Boy, it isn't every day that you see the phrases " long-term relationships" and "sex life" in the same sentence, so occaisonal visitor Mr. Coolrock will respond.
( I miss this place sometimes, but I got a 7 month old lil coolrock, a rather busy fall season for my lodge, The Fraternal Order of Friends of Benjamin Moore, a fucked up internet system, and , most importantly, a general disinterest in most of the idiotic, puerile, drivel posted here---which, by the way, I now will be delighted to augment).

This is the way I used to remedy the situation in my previous long-term relationships:

Quite simply, start fucking another woman. Discreetly. Preferably, out of town. There is nothing like the excitement of Fresh Woman on the daily special to take the bitter resentment out of a marriage, or, to paraphrase " Chatanooga Choo-Choo" :

" Breakfast in the diner
nothin could be finer
than to have your ham and eggs with
a side of vagina."

I could come home from an affair feeling refreshed, happy, and strangely affectionate to my wife; it was almost like she became another woman.
this is not a very nice to treat someone you ( allegedly) love, and it is selfish, immature, and verrry damaging to a relationship. Not just damaging, it is The End. It is never the same again. And this is a good time to give you schmucks a piece of sagely advice:

Never, never, I repeat NEVER, confess to an affair. Save your fuckwad " honesty" for your next novel, and the confessions for Father O' Grotten, and spare your poor partner the humiliation. Most people would rather hold onto a shred of a doubt than be confronted with the humiliation that you chose someone else over them. Even if I was caught naked with Rita riding the coolcock, I would have denied it to my wife somehow. Seriously. Lie. Pay for it later in hell or something, but never confess.

Anyway, these days I love my wife enough to not even entertain such sordid thoughts. Well, maybe the thoughts, but not acting on them. I am, for the first time in my life, enjoying a monogamous relationship. ( A bit bothered, mind you, by the fact that the last guy I heard spouting " Explore Monogomy" ended up on his knees in a Beverly Hills park men's room).
I dunno how to keep that spark alive, and I have had a baby sleeping with us for most of the last seven months, but I think it sure helps a lot if you truly love someone. It also helps if you are still attracted to them physically. Missus Coolrock is still a fine lookin dame, and, thank god, did not take the usual route of using childbirth as an excuse to grab the express train to Lardland. At the risk of sounding ( god forbid) " shallow" , I think that if your mate " lets themself go" , it often suggests two things: one, that they are not that interested in carnality any more, and two, that you are not really worth the trouble of looking good for.
Or, as I always say, nothing sends a broad to the gym quicker than a divorce.
Same goes for men also, but thanks to the wonderful gift to us known as the Double Standard, and , more importantly, the fact that women are intinsically non-voyeuristic, it isn't as important.
And, as we all know, money is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

First post in the "What the hell is going on here" thread:

All that "This is the End," "End of the World," and "Gone" being played is just some lame attempt to get internet buzz about Jimandgreg quitting, right? And I just fell for it, right?

the next day...

A Message to Our “Sound Opinions” Listeners and Message Board Users
From Jim DeRogatis and Greg Kot

November 2, 2005

After 354 shows on WXRT (93.1-FM), “Sound Opinions” will be moving on Dec. 3 to a new home on Chicago Public Radio (91.5-FM). Basically, we got an offer that is too good to refuse: a bigger budget for production, staff and our Web site, an amazing facility for conducting interviews and recording live music performances, and the opportunity to reach a national audience with streaming audio, podcasting and syndication. The message board will remain unchanged and will, we hope, continue to be one of the most exciting forums for the passionate discussion of music on the Web. We are excited about the prospects of taking “the world’s only rock ’n’ roll talk show” to a whole new level and a new and larger audience, and we hope you will continue to join us every week.

Details about our new Saturday time slot and repeat airings, among other things, will be announced soon, but in the mean time, we would like to thank everyone at WXRT for their support and encouragement over the last seven years; the “Sound Opinions” team—Matt Spiegel, Shawn Campbell, Jason Saldanha, Robin Linn, and all of our interns past and present—for all of their hard work; and most of all you, the listener.


Jim and Greg

Meanwhile that night...

[yancy] wow, kot & dero are nailing it on the BSS review
[yancy] aside from dero's indie rock generalizations
[yancy] but stuff about the record in particular, nailed it
[yancy] and they're playing the best song on the album
[yancy] i'm glad kot pointed out that they relegated the only single-approaching song (major label debut) on the bonus EP while putting the more obscure version of it on the album proper
[undo95] 2 "Buy Its" for Dangerdoom
[yancy] yeah
[yancy] this is the first i'm hearing of it
[yancy] this track is doing nothing for me
[yancy] much more minimal than i expected
[yancy] i'm pretty sure all the cartoon interludes would bug the shit out of me
[undo95] i'm pretty sure they'd amuse me
[undo95] but after how many spins? tough question.
[yancy] wow, this MMJ song doesn't suck
[yancy] i just assumed i'd hate them based on the combination of sombies that's into them
[yancy] okay, spoke too soon... this falsetto crap kinda sucks
[undo95] DP = corporate rock
[yancy] uh-oh, burn it / trash it, dan will be pissed
[yancy] i suppose we're the laughing stock of the chatroom for not only listening to S.O., but admitting it and providing play-by-play
[yancy] this DM track is "eh"
[undo95] I instigated the S.O. chat so I'll take the blame
[yancy] s'alright, i don't mind being lame
[yancy] okay, tell me something...
[yancy] ...is the S.O. audience some great untapped jewelry-buying monolith?
[yancy] seriously, WTF?
[undo95] I decided to do the sensible thing and tell my husband I wanted jewlery.
[yancy] the only time i hear jewelry ads on any radio stattion is on xrt between 10 and midnight on tuesdays
[yancy] do they think we're all late 20-somethings feeling the clock tick, on the verge of asking someone to marry us?
[yancy] if so, they'd be partially right in my case
[yancy] i should have gotten married back when 2 months salary was a pittance
[yancy] do people that make halfway decent moey actually spend that much on a ring? because that's fucking crazy
[yancy] that industry pulled of one hell of a brainwashing
[undo95] diamonds (from sierra leone)
[undo95] blood diamonds
[yancy] i bet every manufacturer wishes they could shame their customers into paying 2 months salary for their useless product
[yancy] what's with all the versions of "the end" by the doors as bumper music tonight?
[yancy] last show or something? a dire hint?
[undo95] Who knows? I can't listen to XRT commericals. Radio's off now.
[yancy] desert island jukebox is on now
[yancy] but it's bob dylan, so don't bother, heh
[yancy] i always turn the radio off/down during the commercials too, they're intolerable
[yancy] hmm... between all those "the end" cuts and this seemingly out-of-nowhere dylan tune with doomsaying lyrics...
[yancy] "it's all over now, baby blue"... call me crazy, but i think this could be their way of having a last show without having a tearjerker aww-we're-going-away last show
[undo95] we'll see
[undo95] wow what if you're on to something?
[yancy] weird to have a co-chosen desert island jukebox with basically no introduction
[undo95] see, if this was their last show, they'd have some montage full of annoying in-jokes at the end
[yancy] yeah, unless it was canceled on short notice
[undo95] true
[undo95] let's see if you're right
[yancy] DJs are notoriously canned on short notice
[undo95] or not?
[undo95] ...
[undo95] ?
[yancy] hmm
[undo95] odd
[yancy] weird, downer of an ending
[undo95] yeah, normally they prattle on for 5 minutes
[undo95] was it because Spiegel wasn't there?
[undo95] what gives?
[Undercooked Sausage] spike spiegel?
[yancy] even without spiegs they usually prattle
[yancy] and play a clip of some rock star saying something about the show
[Undercooked Sausage] you know what would be funny
[Undercooked Sausage] if it was cancelled and the board was destroyed and everyone we knew was gone forever.
[yancy] haha
[Undercooked Sausage] just out of nowhere.
[Undercooked Sausage] the only people who'd still be together would be us.
[Undercooked Sausage] but eventually, we'd go our seperate ways.
[undo95] watch for an announcement on the board from Jason
[yancy] also, no mention of what's on the show next week
[Undercooked Sausage] omfg
[Undercooked Sausage] check the main page NOW
[yancy] for what?
[Undercooked Sausage] haha just kidding
[yancy] i figured
[Undercooked Sausage] you all lose.
[undo95] you dork
[undo95] seriously... the end of Sound Opinions
[undo95] we just heard it... wow
[undo95] now what? or will they follow all the other XRT refugess over to 9FM?
[scarymuppet] whuh? i'm not listening. what just happened?
[undo95] if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it... does it make a sound?
[undo95] still there yancy?
[undo95] we should start a thread on it
[sbsweaty] http://www.soundopin...showtopic=14131
[yancy] i'm here, and yeah, they beat us to it on a thread
[yancy] glad to know i wasn't the only one picking up that vibe
[yancy] maybe dero's going to be a zillionaire now with his flaming lips bio
[yancy] greg already has his wilco bio... they're rich!
[undo95] endtimes prophecy at its best
[yancy] so i guess i called it
[yancy] i mean, not just me, obviously
[undo95] yeah, you'll get credit, don't worry
[yancy] but it feels good to pick up on clues and shit... whatever
[undo95] i'll see to that
[undo95] rufus better back up all the important threads
[yancy] yeahduff got it too, without help from me
[undo95] dammit, where is he?
[yancy] i'm sure jason will give us a grace period on the board
[yancy] i seriously doubt that whoever is in charge of yanking the show knows the first thing about removing the message board from the server
[undo95] I was wondering why they were playing REM when they came back from commercial
[undo95] that made no sense
[undo95] well is soundopinions.com registered as an independent site?
[yancy] i didn't even notice the REM until late in the show when i started to piece clues together
[undo95] is the domain owned by Jim, Greg, and Spiegs, or XRT?
[yancy] i'm sure SO.com is owned by xrt, because they own the show... or do they? did the show exist on another station pre-xrt?
[undo95] and would it simply run until the renewal date arrived and then go down permanently after it stops being renewed? I don't know about internet stuff like that.
[undo95] It did exist before XRT... but that was way before the show had a website
[yancy] maybe dero owns the show name, he's the only constant participant
[undo95] Kot and some guy from the Reader who doesn't write for them anymore were the original hosts, weren't they?
[undo95] and then Dero joined after that guy left?
[undo95] "Matter fact, I hope it's over. Fuck Sound Opinions."
[yancy] wilcoinator is going to eat his words, methinks
[yancy] i could imagine jim keeping the domain up, if he owns it, in hopes of moving it to another station if in fact xrt cancelled them
[undo95] damn, let's not beat around the bush here yeahduff... say what you really feel
[undo95] heh... i don't know what station would possibly take them
[undo95] the truth hurts
[undo95] 9FM, I was hoping, but I really don't think so
* simakos stumbles into the room wondering if the board is gonna blow up
[yancy] i'm guessing jim & greg want more cash than stations can justify paying them for a niche talk show... even if nine wanted them, would they pay much? probably not
[yancy] i mean, since jim & greg are already hotshot newspaper critics, they probably don't work cheap
[simakos] nine?
[simakos] wgn?
[yancy] haha, awesome post, undo
[yancy] nine fm
[simakos] ?
[simakos] what is that?
[yancy] the "we play anything" station(s)
[undo95] I guess they'd have to be getting paid... but really, I can't imagine them getting much at all for this gig
[yancy] 92.7, plus a few other chicagoland frequencies
[undo95] I always thought that they were using it to promote themselves and whatever else they're doing, but really I don't think they do much else other than the odd book here and there and their newspaper stuff
[simakos] well even if the show ends this board will not die
[undo95] Is that true? It's going off of the SO web domain
[undo95] and if that goes... how will the message board still exist?
[simakos] when i spoke to kot at the LOW show earlier in the year he kept going on and on about the messageboard and how it is the most popular chicago music site
[yancy] we'll all go invade some other board, creepy d style!!!
[simakos] he seemed to really be proud of it
[simakos] how much does aboard cost?
[undo95] I'm sure he was trying to look on the bright side.
[simakos] no
[yancy] the board costs like, nothing
[undo95] Message boards like this are free? Aren't they?
[simakos] he was into it
[simakos] nothing is free
[yancy] all you need to pay for are the server & traffic
[yancy] board software is free, i think
[undo95] But I think that someone has to pay into it if certain features, like searching, are to be enabled.
[simakos] and bandwidth
[undo95] or at least that's the case with a similar-style board that I go to on a different site
[simakos] well we need to make a back up plan public for everybody, no?
[simakos] so is that broadcast record good
[simakos] ?
[yancy] i'm sure at least a few sombies already have established domains/servers with a decent sized monthly traffic allowance (i do, for one)
[simakos] address please
[yancy] haha
[yancy] well, no board is set up there
[simakos] make one
[yancy] and i have no idea how to do that
[simakos] now
[simakos] learn
[yancy] yes sir! =)
[simakos] unlearn
[yancy] it's a shitty domain name: removethesite.com
[simakos] i can't believe how attched i am to this board
[simakos] i'm getting scary-sad now
[yancy] but i could buy a new domain name and put it on the same server for like, 5 or 10 bucks a year
[yancy] jason likes us, he'll give us time to transition off if need be
[undo95] well we've got soulseek, so no matter what happens, "the core" will still be in touch
[yancy] internet domains/servers are generally paid up months, if not a year in advance
[simakos] has anyone ever met you undo/rap damage?
[undo95] I've met lots of people
[yancy] it's good that we have an agent on the inside: rufus
[undo95] oh, you mean board people.... I don't know
[simakos] yancy have you ever met him?
[simakos] you are very mysterious
[simakos] maybe you are dero?
[simakos] ha
[undo95] maybe
[yancy] rufus is savvy enough to save all the board info and transfer it to a new domain, assuming we use the same board software
[yancy] i've never met undo
[undo95] I could easily fit inside a Dero suit and pretend to be him
* simakos is listening to THE HOLY FUCK
[yancy] he saw me brielfy in front of the vic before the puffy amiyumi show
[simakos] the show ain't even ending
[undo95] it was several blocks away... but it was possibly you
[simakos] let's slow down
[undo95] maybe
[simakos] so?
[undo95] no, i like panicking
[yancy] there were like, 5+ clues that, in hindsight, were pretty overt
[simakos] broadcast?
[undo95] this is exciting
[simakos] good?
[yancy] it's totally ending
[simakos] there is no way it would end like that
[yancy] one reason it would:
[simakos] especially before year end lists!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[yancy] DJs are fired on short notice, no time to assemble a going-away clip show
[simakos] true
[yancy] only enough time to choose proper bumper music and a goobye DIJ song
[simakos] anybody remember how it switched from q101 to xrt?
[undo95] those are the dark ages... no one remembers back that far
[yancy] XRT listener surveys were sent out recently, and i remember answering questions about SO on it
[simakos] i'm so pissed i didn't listen
[undo95] you didn't miss anything, really
[undo95] you'd be disappointed if you were able to hear it again
[simakos] i used to listen to the q101 SO
[simakos] i remember listening the week cobain died
[yancy] i'm guessing they didn't get great returns on that survey
[simakos] i waited on a bunch of radio execs the other nite
[yancy] fwiw, i gave it super-high marks, as its the only reason i listen to any non-NPR radio
[undo95] this time last year there was talk of them going into syndication, but that never happened
[undo95] how did you get a survey?
[simakos] they asked what radio i listen to
[yancy] ok guys, this is extremely dorky, but....
[simakos] i told them npr but said sound opinions was a great show and then one of the guys stood up and gave me a t-shirt
[simakos] cool
[yancy] i caled the xrt hotline about five minutes after SO ended to ask the late night DJ if he knew what was up
[yancy] i mentioned the "clues" and the dj was like "yeah, i noticed that too, let me see if those guys are still around and i'll see if i can get anything out of them"
[yancy] after i hung up i thought, then what? do you have caller id? are you going to call me back? announce it on the radio? wtf
[undo95] what's the number to XRT?
[simakos] call him again
[undo95] i probably won't call them, but i'm just curious
[undo95] or will I?
[simakos] 599 8900?
[simakos] ha
[undo95] area code?
[simakos] that's radio number from canada
[simakos] nevermind
[simakos] Music Request Phone: 773.777.8881
[undo95] the "this board needs a _____ thread" threads are getting annoying
[yancy] yeah, 773.777.8881
[yancy] they were annoying until the shudder to think thread, which was a nice surprise for me
[yancy] simakos will fucking call them... this is the man that asked for and received leslie feist at the BSS show
[yancy] he has no fear
[simakos] i'm caLLING NOW
[yancy] he'll pick up now that the song changed
[undo95] not just calling now, but caLLING NOW
[undo95] hope that makes the difference
[simakos] no answer
[yancy] caps lock makes all the difference
[yancy] maybe the dj had to poop
[simakos] it's hard to type, smoke, and call
[simakos] should i just let it ring?
[yancy] sure, why not?
[simakos] i don't want to seem crazy
[simakos] ha
[simakos] haha
[yancy] or hang up & try after the next song
[undo95] are we not buying enough diamonds? is that why they're cancelling it?
[yancy] er, during the next song
[yancy] undo figured it out!!!
* undo95 runs off to Faye & Sons or whatever it's called
[undo95] testing... did I lose my connection?
[undo95] ello?
* Disconnected

#14 ryan


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Posted 31 January 2006 - 05:44 PM

Posted Image

Our cat Ollie. Don't let the contented appearance fool you - she's a bitch on wheels.

He looks a like a smaller version of our late tom Hellcat, he was mostly white with a head the size of 2 of my fists together and mostly covered in scartissue. He'd been fed LSD & Tequila as a kitten and was a little strange, he could beat up all of the other toms in the neighborhood, and most of the dogs, too. He liked to sleep in the middle of the pool table & drool on wool sweaters.

dude even Freddie's cat probably has more exciting stories and lived a crazier life than the rest of us

#15 undo


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Posted 05 February 2006 - 10:20 PM

Damo Suzuki: we should make a series of threads with hilarious excerpts from our convos. like the time you had a plan for catching aids in Amsterdam or when you confessed to baby eating.
Williamtell: this is a good idea
Williamtell: entitle it "cum spray"



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Posted 16 February 2006 - 04:16 PM


Your Internet poise in the chatroom and in secret threads sometimes overwhelms the board. You also worry too much about your post count and have post-whored in the past. Nonetheless you're not outwardly, visibly stupid, which gives you an edge on the masses. But remember; your winsome looks will only get you so far.



Your tendancy to post a bunch of threads at once means most of them get lost in the shuffle. Your whimsical disregard for grammar and spelling are endearing, but rarely add to your deliberative stature. You could win "most improved" for ditching a lot of the over-the-top racial stuff and engaging more seriously with people, but the verdict is still out. Potential... with lingering question marks.



I didn't take a break so much because I ran out of steam, but because I wanted to shake my head and gaze sadly out the window at this gray Chicago afternoon as I considered the meloncholy tale of Gimmick. The hare is now a tortoise, and if the trans-species operation isn't helping you win any races as you huff along gamely in the middle of the SOMB pack, rest assured that your shelled body will at least be comically batted about by the SOMB's predators rather then rendered bloodily in a furry blur as was the case for so many years in your former form. But no one blames you for your reptilian lethargy; tending your little shrine to Damo's top 100 list is an exhausting job! After reading this post and having a good cry, you will rearrange the shrine of things you pulled out of his trash and fall asleep on the floor craddling one of his discarded nautically-styled scarves. You will feel much better in the morning.


#17 undo


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Posted 17 February 2006 - 02:39 AM

Smells Like Douche / Alternagirl

You were frequently accused of being Ace, but you've solidly disproven that accusation; Ace would never have the patience for such a load of pedestrian posts. Rest assured that he would appreciate the comedy of "Smells like Douche" more than anyone. Your status as a semi-mythical "girl" (if you are indeed such) gives you an almost unqualified free pass at this sausage party, but I don't expect you'll use it to do more than get drunk on schnapps and pass out in a laundry basket in the basement.



A rose by any other name would still be a rose, but Without Opinion by any other name would be far less clearly defined in two short words. Cruising along like a garbage-bloated seagull on the breezes of SOMB, whatever contributions you may have made are swallowed up by the self-fulfilling prophecy that is your name. There's a reason no one remembers William Stinkywriting and everyone remembers William Shakespeare, and it's not because Shakespeare was a better writer. They were roughly equally talented.
Points for (if I remember correctly) being a baseball fan. Other than that I mainly remember your old signature about the SOMB being "founded on indie" which gave me quite a larf. Indie sucks dude.



No longer a girl, not quite a woman... Velocity. You and your fellow Pinnicky Hillbillies arrived unannounced one morning on the doorstep, gap-toothed grins intact, to litter rawkist trash about our yards, loose your hounds in Bumpus-fashion on the neighborhood, and generally pollute the once-idyllic neighborhood. Most of your vaccination-less, antibiotic-less, bathing-less number died off within a few weeks, but the most stubborn still wander from thread to thread, gazing sullenly at things you do not understand, flicking your tail lazily at flies, and thoughtfully chewing your prog-metal cud.
That said, you are my favorite KXOLer. Congratulations!


Boy With The Filthylaugh / skinnyhipsrivers

One of the many SOMBies who (until recently) took his name from an unpleasant-to-visualize physical condition (I always imagined Rivers Cuomo with his plank twixt his skinny, undersexed legs, Buffalo Bill style, singing "Beverly Hills." This was not a pleasant thing to imagine.) I had a little trouble thinking of things that are wrong with you, but I realized it's not because you are great (you are so not) but because you spend 3/4s of your time where I don't usually go, in the cesspool that is the Etc. Board, posting in threads that displease God and quite possibly threaten the security of our nation. Your status as the 3rd-biggest scenery chewer in "Five Things I Think," the SOMB's own little e-Black Hole of Calcutta, says more than I ever could.


Phew, bashing all of you is harder work than I realized. I'll be back in a few hours. Keep the line neat and orderly until then.

gimmick / luckyluc

I didn't take a break so much because I ran out of steam, but because I wanted to shake my head and gaze sadly out the window at this gray Chicago afternoon as I considered the meloncholy tale of Gimmick. The hare is now a tortoise, and if the trans-species operation isn't helping you win any races as you huff along gamely in the middle of the SOMB pack, rest assured that your shelled body will at least be comically batted about by the SOMB's predators rather then rendered bloodily in a furry blur as was the case for so many years in your former form. But no one blames you for your reptilian lethargy; tending your little shrine to Damo's top 100 list is an exhausting job! After reading this post and having a good cry, you will rearrange the shrine of things you pulled out of his trash and fall asleep on the floor craddling one of his discarded nautically-styled scarves. You will feel much better in the morning.



Oh, the clown. The only one of you buffoons who doesn't make me laugh. Your late-season conversion to a potshooting quipster is certainly an improvement from your former status as the snail-like arbiter of the SOMB Top 499 Movies / Bataan Death March Recreation Society. I remember having some deep-running grudge against you at one point, but it was eventually filled with the cement of indifference and is now merely a deep-running unstable fissure of vague distrust. Admittedly it seems we are in something of a Slackmonaissance and that takes most of the vinegar and at least a few ounces of the piss out of this post. Cheers.



You may have come into this thread to laugh at someone else's misfortune, but much like a flunky at the Sarlacc pit, you now find yourself a victim of the same fate. It's no surprise that you are caught unawares because you feel dizzy and a bit out of it as you enter the sunlight, blinking blurry-eyed in one of your few departures from the shadowy chattery of "Five Things I Think." Your willingness to rake through the minute details of your life, from striped ties to grout bleach, doesn't always translate into broader boarding skills as you cautiously head out to post for the 7th or 8th time that, just to remind everyone, you didn't think "Grizzly Man" was a good movie.


senor wences

I don't speak A-rab, so I ran this through Babelfish and it seems to be a plea for mercy. Well, you obviously misunderstand the point of this thread and the point of this country, compadre. By my reckoning all you "guest workers" should be "guest soldiers" in the War on Terrorosity, but failing that, I suppose you can get a low-paying job doing nothing consistently. And as one of the longest running gimmick accounts on SOMB to survive, you have certainly accomplished that goal. Some might say perseverance is a virtue in itself, but I wouldn't say that. I would say "Gimmick suuuuucks."



Like Walter Sobchak's proverbial child wandering in on the movie, you poke your head into Snoop Dogg threads and drop the latest AARP-approved japes. Your book, an autobiographical story of heartbreak and survival, will succeed at first and then flounder when it is revealed that you did not spar with Yuri Andropov on the roof of the Kremlin during the Soviet-Afghan war and that was one of several "embellishments" for the sake of the story.
Anyway it is a small miracle that the few KXOLers who stuck around were by far the best of the lot. I shudder to think what this place would look like with a different cast.



As a visual learner, Undo would probably die a slow boarding death without Google Image Search (also because he is illiterate). He remembers an unhealthy amount about the board's past. An Etc.'r trapped in a Disc.'r's body, and a cynic trapped in a hottie's body, Undo was funnier when he couldn't get laid. All other available criticisms have already been leveled by the man himself.
Edit: Also he doesn't make enough threads.


#18 Undercooked Sausage

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Posted 17 February 2006 - 01:34 PM


Yeah, as noted upthread, this won't help long-running poster Zolacolby. I wonder what led to the subtraction of the formal "Mr." from his name? A gender switch ala Walter/Wendy Carlos? The final and inevitable realization that if no one else was going to address you as such it was futile to put on such airs on the Internets? Zolacolby possesses one the board's least interesting quirks, with an itchy trigger finger on the enter key to enter line breaks after each sentence in many short posts. Yes, it's pretty ghey. Over two years of boarding makes me more than a "somb babe," in the age sense, and I don't want to think about the impolications of babe in the other sense.


sin city

Sin City? The SOMB must be pitching underhand to me now. Humans have a thing called an appendix, which in caveman times processed raw food or connected to wifi or something like that but is now useless and what we call a vestigial organ. In ancient SOMB times, we had a poster named Dawn and it was Sin's job to constantly harass and abuse her, but she left and for the last two years Sin has been a vestigial poster. I hope Tjenz appreciates how much better he looks by comparison with a less-amusing version of himself louting up the Etc. Board.



Kalmia. Is he a troll? Is he not? Like a virus, he doesn't show the clear signs of life that characterize bacteria, but he has a singular persistence that makes him more than a mere chemical reaction. He exists in some nether region in between, drifting from host to host to spew forth his contaminants. Yancy didn't want me to critique Kalmia because he thought it would encourage him, but Yancy does not understand the way of the virus; without even the biological complexity of most single-celled organisms, the virus can survive in a virtual vacuum, chugging away in the absence of any stimuli or response. Long after we die in the nuclear war, he will still be here, asking cockroaches if they like him and announcing Libertarian meetings to the cold dead planet.



Some SOMBies like Morgan are known for long, Seinfield-esque runs of posting gold. Helmet52 is more like Gallagher - one big brutish splatter that explains why rows 1-6 were advised to wear ponchos. I'm speaking of course about "Setting the Record Straight on King's X," a "What is 'rockism'?" thread for a board that had abandoned the higher planes of thought to run hooting through the lowlands of KXOLia. In conclusion, if you don't rock the avant-noise while you're doing bank business, then you are not hardcore.


My take on a classic poster: Visual presentation.

Posted Image


Posted Image

Posted ImagePosted Image

#19 ryan


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Posted 20 February 2006 - 01:57 PM

Mitchell's prediction of Montana's 2006 Year End List:

I've PM'd your 2006 EOY list to Dr. Bill as below

Flaming Lips Masterpiece Awesome Pink Floyd Grandaddy Mystics Original Syd DBT Bus Fumes Waters It created an entirely new sound Great Gig In The SkyI like intact artistic pieces.Nothing sounds like Yoshimi Pink Floyd It Will Be Another Lips Masterpiece I lived and breathed House for a long time The Wall http://sg1.allmusic....sdmv57&r=20.asx Bwahahahahahahahaha I wish I was smoking what they were Flaming Lipsuber-compressed, taking shrooms stressed, super-urban chip/chop music Masterpiece Awesome taking shrooms Pink Floyd Grandaddy Mystics Original Syd DBT Bus Fumes Waters It created an entirely new sound Great Gig In The SkyI like intact artistic pieces. Can the Lips match them? Nothing sounds like tiny mix-compressed How dare they actually play their instruments I lived and breathed House for a long time Yoshimi Pink Floyd It Will Be Another Lips Masterpiece The Wall http://sg1.allmusic....vz557 Bwahahahahahahahaha Diesel Fumes flowing records with a cohesive style taking shrooms Flaming Lips Masterpiece Awesome Pink Floyd Grandaddy Mystics Original Syd DBT Bus Fumes tiny mix-compressed How dare they actually play their instruments Waters It created an entirely new sound Great Gig In The SkyI like intact artistic pieces.Nothing sounds like Yoshimi Pink Floyd It Will Be Another Lips Masterpiece Can the Lips match them? The Wall Awesome List some of your records then http://sg1.allmusic....svz557&r=20.asx Bwahahahahahahahaha Diesel Fumes uber-compressed, stressed, super-urban chip/chop music flowing records with a cohesive style Pink Floyd Mushrooms Flaming Lips How dare they actually play their instruments Hollywood Town Hall If you're Feeling Sinister http://hurl.content....6900&cid=600005 Sinister Masterpiece Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun Pink FloydPink Floyd Mushrooms Flaming Lips Hollywood Town Hall If you're Feeling http://hurl.content....6900&cid=600005 Sinister Masterpiece I wish I was smoking what they were Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun Pink FloydDiesel Fumes flowing records with a cohesive style Pink Floyd Mushrooms Flaming Lips Hollywood Town Hall If you're Feeling Sinister http://hurl.content....6900&cid=600005 Sinister Masterpiece Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun Pink Floyd are all original masterpieces.

#20 undo


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Posted 20 February 2006 - 11:23 PM


Light and dark, day and night, good and evil, Pinkerton and Raj. In this thread's sister topic, you handed out embarassingly generous accolades on the basis of critical factors like Bonnaroo attendance, Elliott Smith-resemblence and fear of me. After you finished chafing all oncoming dix, you moved on to spreading the word about artists "underapreciated by the SOMB community." I clicked on the thread thinking "Oh people will be posting Juno Reactor or Your Team Ring or Bangkok Impact or something like that" and instead it was Okkervil River and Of Montreal. Woah, slow down; I don't know if the SOMB is ready for indie rock that's slightly different from the indie rock it already enjoys!


Some Girl

(no Weezer jokes, huzzah)
To make this even slightly challenging I'm going to hold all IRL evidence inadmissable and just stick to boarding. Not a lot of posters could be blasted by a skunk within their first few months, post for help, and not forever be known as "Skunk Girl" or something similar. I guess that's an honor of sorts and a testament to your ability to drown out all embarassments in a steady flow of blithe garble about shoes, boys, and the CSO. Keep up the pace and some day Little Jess will pass her crown on to you and you'll get your own "Ask Some Girl" thread and a middle management job at the Dreamscents candle plant in Ciudad Juárez, Mexico.



You already got your ass handed to you in the other thread for some reason, so you must be a glutton for punishment. You should think long and hard about what would make a ragin' hardon factory like Pinkerton think you were a woman (I'm in the dark frankly, although the one time I met you I recall you were wearing a rather fetching scarf, so maybe that's it). Anyway you can't show weakness around here, so I recommend you immediately attack and kill the alpha male (Mitchell, at the moment) to reasert yourself. When the two of you are slugging each other with big metal pipes, your gender will not be in question.