I saw this on the cover of the Sun-Times but didn't have time to read it. I might pick up a copy later today. I liked the new cover design a lot.

Maybe I was hallucinating. I had the time all wrong for one thing...and neither of those matches up. Perhaps someone in my building dropped something heavy. I'm so confused!

Maybe it's because I now live in a liquifaction zone, but I don't recall feeling so many small earthquakes since I was a kid (when I lived on solid rock).

Ocean man, take me by the hand, lead me to the land that you uderstand
Ocean man, the voyage to the corner of the globe is a real trip
Ocean man, the crust of a tan man embibed by the sand
Soaking up the thirst of the land




Unfortunately, yes. Wouldn't it have been nice if someone would have told us when we were 18 and we would have believed them?

Sad, wannit? Look at him...poor thing. And they're mostly nocturnal, aren't they? The film shows him all but barely able to keep his eyes open while the ignorant apes tap the glass and take photos with their cell phones. Then the meat head with his Terminator glasses from Animal Control shows up & chokes the little fucker...

I wish that coyote had the chance to nip everybody there & give 'em all some sort of canine disease...

i dont necessarily find it sad. i find it astonishing. i find it amazing that the guy in quiznos had the foresight and bravery to lure a coyote into his store to keep him safe and out of traffic. i find it hilarious that he took a nap in the cooler and i think that photo is freaking hilarious as well.

I wouldn't want to have one of those drinks in the cooler where the Coyote was hanging out. You know those cheap fuckers just brushed them off and is intending to sell them.

Shit. I just realized that I missed David Lynch and his Inland Empire tour in mid-February. God damn it!

$1.99 for one bottle of Sobe? No thanks.

Something for Mr. Hickman:



Now you, too, can threaten to do something if Sanjaya Malakar wins on American Idol, just like Simon!

As if Hickman would ever honor a contract.

it's more expensive at Walgreens, and the pina colada is delicious. If they knocked it down to like $1.50 because of coyote sabotage, I would buy it. If Red Bull has ox semen or whatever, then anything the coyote does/adds can't be that bad.

The first in a series: My latest prospect from the personals.

"I loved your voice and your picture stops me every time. I'm looking for some 1 to 2am phone company right now. Something about you is just delightful and I'm ready to be happy in my heart, just enjoy someone for a minute or so. I can bring quick wit to it if you want. A while back I either thought of contacting you or did, but I'm in a really nice energy now, so I'm casting a net that anyone can swim right out of if they want!"

I want.

It's accompanied by a photo: He's in bed. Naked. Blanket casually draped over his genitals. Gazing at the camera over the wire rims perched just-so on his nose. And in his hands, the autobiography of Malcolm X.

Did you call him?
you should post the picture

I'm not sure I'm prepared to be enjoyed "for a minute or so."

Believe me, I almost posted the picture. I might, if I can get past the feeling of privacy invasion.

Nick's a strong guy, he'll rebound.

Oh my, you have to email that picture to me. Let's all have a late night conference call with him. That could be fun. The autobiography of Malcolm X is a nice touch. So, he's intellectual, eh?

Deej?

The SOMB Phone Sex Experiment: I'll call random fellas between 1 and 2 a.m., and all y'all join in from the other line(s). Hot.

Consider it e-mailed, red.

I just got the email, but I'm afraid to open it. It doesn't sound very NSFW. I just don't know if I can wait until tonight to peek at it. Oh, the suspense...

Oh, it's totally SFW. Just not SFE. (Safe For Eyes.)

This is exactly the reaction he wanted. So painfully obvious and trying too hard.

Guy sounds like a freak douchebag. You guys would actually call him...

I think that's why they would. I think 1/2 a dozen SOMBies should call him & put him on speaker phone.

I don't make fun of how you meet men, don't make fun of how I meet women

Oh my gawd! I just peeked at it. It's even better than you described. He looks like the male version of a naughty librarian lying on purple (are those silk?) sheets…looking seductively into the camera. I hope that's really him, but I doubt it is. The actual guy probably looks more like comic book guy from the simpsons.

What a tool. I say we have a party at my place soon and get this guy on speaker phone, so we all can enjoy it.

Luv you, Tjenz.

P.S. Firefly? All that brings to mind is when I was a child, I'd catch a jar full of lightning bugs and then spell my initals out on the driveway in their guts because it would light up. My BFF would too. So joyous.

I AM SO FCUKING BORED AND ITS ONLY TWO OCLOCK

someone kill me

write you name in the driveway w/my guts, it would make my day

What, you think he actually meant to tilt the book jacket perfectly toward camera? But that seems so... so... calculated.


Yes, yes, I would. I would call him and ravish him and beg him to be my one and only.

Jesus.

So, like, a group of jays is called a party. Ya know, like a gaggle of geese...a party of jays. And whenever we were at work and joking around about blue jays we'd call it a BJ Party.

Its not lame, its funny.

Nixon's spirit will be with us for the rest of our lives whether your are me or Bill Clinton or you or Kurt Cobain or Bishop Tutu or Keith Richards or Aimee Fisher or Boris Yeltsin's daughter or her finance's sixteen year old beer drunk brother with his braided goatee with his whole like a thunder cloud right in front of him.

This is not a generational thing you don't even have to know who Richard Nixon was to be a victim of his ugly Nazi experiments.

He has poisoned our water forever. Nixon will be remembered as a classic case of a smart man shitting in his own nest, but he also shit in our nest and that was the crime that history will burn on his memory as a brand. By disgracing and degrading the presidency of the United States, by fleeing the White House like a diseased cur, Richard Nixon broke the heart of the American Dream...

humor?

I need to find and meet my zany neighbor.

Does anyone remember the Kids In The Hall skit "becoming an Indian woman"?

Yeah.

I've seen a lot of notes on doors of my apartment buildings, but the on on my door this morning was probably the weirdest. It reads: "Did anyone lose a Hummel?"



btw, the price of this particular Hummel is $745.00

So obviously you're not going to give it back, right?

The sad thing is I think I saw this thing sitting on the sidewalk the other day. From a distance I just thought some granny had dropped her tacky knick-knack. Had I known it was a Hummel I would have swiped it up. Hells yeah.

p. 52

"The first page of my comic will carry the headline 'The Past,' and it will have two drawings. In the one frame, I will write 'Male Storyteller (Historian)' and draw a group of men sitting in the traditional kgotla or koro or motse--whatever you want to call it, that glamorous space in which men and boys meet each other. Where stories are told of where come from, who you are, the structure of the group's male ancestry, who your role model is. The tales which kinterpret your world for you, and help the male tellers to take decisions about economics, politic, history.

"Frame two will have the caption 'Female Storyteller (Socializer of Children).' This drawing will show a space where food is prepared. A flowing gallery of magical and bizarre moments that cut into everyday life. 'Are you awake? Are you listening?' asks the grandmother. The children must react and interact with the multidimensional performance. Unlike the stories of the men where boundaries are set, these stories undermine boundaries: men turn into women and vice versa, animals become people, women fall in love with animals, people eat each other, dreams and hallucinations are played out."

"I don't get it. The wife of Fort Calata really doens't fit the stereotypical storytelling grandma by the pappot and the fire that you want to put in your comic."

"Exactly," says Professor Kondlo, and thumps his fist on the table. "Over these drawings, I rubber-stamp: MIGRATION, URBANIZATION, FORCED REMOVALS. And then starts the actual story of Nomonde Calata as a woman, sitting in the male space of the British colonial city hall of East London and relating a story as part of the official history of the country. It's bloody amazing!"

I'm so happy I could spit.

Now it's time to be unkind...to speak my mind
And if you ask why I'm so blunt, it's 'cause I care for you, you cunt.

Today some news channel aired a 'video games and old people' segment (they titled it differently, sure). They then showed some place where old people party and play videogame bowling. Then they interviewed someone and it was a damn relative of mine. It was great because I randomly walked by the set when I heard the title of the segment, wanting some lolz.

Small world and all that.

I thought you swallowed

ha...SG...can't wait for the follow-up story next yr on 20/20...old people and video games:menace to society. cut to 19 yr old getting beat down by pack of oldsters.

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been studying since noon. one 15 minute break at about 330. then break at now. start again soon. i want to die.

alright, so i dont give a fuck about bright eyes. and im bad with movie titles. so everything i see that cassadega thread i think its a thread about talladega nights. because im easily confused.

Haha, my wireless network is called "GapingAnus" and I hope it brings a smile to any man, woman, child, or beast who happens to view their wireless networks.

What can you see from your window
I can't see anything from mine
Flags on the side of the highway
Scripture on grocery store signs
Maybe 18 was too early
Maybe 30 or 40 is too
Did you get chance to make peace with the man
Before he sent down his angels for you?

Mama's and grandmama's love you
Cause that's all they know how to do
And you never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleeping in your dress blues

Your wife said this all would be funny
If you came back home in a week
You'd turn 22 and they'd celebrate you
In a bar or tent by the creek
Your baby would just about be here
Your very last tour would be up
But you ain't coming back
They're all dressing in black
Drinking sweet tea in styrofoam cups

Mama's and grandmama's love you
American boys hate to lose
And you never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleeping in your dress blues

The highschool gymnasium is ready
Full of flowers and old legionaires
Nobody showed up to protest
Just a sniffle and stare

Red white and blue in the rafters
And silent old men from the core
What did they say when they shipped you away
To fight somebody's hollywood war

Mama's and grandmama's love you
Cause that's all they know how to do
And you never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleeping in your dress blues

Nobody here could forget you
You showed us what we had to lose
And you never planned on the bombs in the sand
Or sleeping in your dress blues

people need better headphones so i dont have to listen to them play evanescence when im in the computer lab.

though, someone is listening to sexyback as well.