I just met w/ a 65-year-old man and got his agreement to repay several thousand $$ that he'd been overpaid during the past several years. What street does he live on?

Hemlock.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You_people

I'm pondering pursuing a career in professional transvestism.

Have you been working on your Cher impression?

I lol'ed

Is that the one you submitted?

No. I don't know what's up with these fuckers.



I submitted two of them, and they are both funny. Everybody I sent them to thought they were real ones from the website, so it's not me thinking they are good and they were dumb.

fixed.



Don't they only post new ones on Caturday?

Well, my aunt's name is Charo, i'll ask her about it.

Why you little Cuchi-Cuchi!

By the way, I like Charo much better than Cher. Didn't she marry Xavier Cugat when she was 14? Anyway, she's a fantastic Classical & Flamenco Guitarist, one of the best in the world.

She was 14?! She had to've been pretty young, I remember being disgusted when my mom told me about it (she had some Cugat records).

Which cost more, the Stingray or her boobs?

Actually, I guess those could be real.

She claims to've been born in '51, and married Cugat in '65 (when he was 66!). Her Birth Certificate says she was born in '41, but she's claimed that was a typo since the '60s.

So Audrey Hepburn and Katherine Hepburn aren't related? I just found this out.

It's only been in the past few years that I've been able to tell that Donovan & Van Morrison are two different people.

Drinkey Crow Show

They post them everyday.

what web site?

Spoilers!

i have a giant boner for entourage.

Those are the optional airbags, Yancy

someone explain captain beefheart to me, plz.

I know several ex-members of the Magic Band, and can unequivocally tell you absolutely nothing that you can't find on the Intertubes. Don Van Vliet had a 4 1/2 Octave range and wrote sort of Blues-based Psychedelic Proto Punk/Post Rock. He was an incredibly eclectic musician & songwriter, nearly psychotic about rehearsing the band 'til they could replicate exactly what he was hearing in his head, and quit the music business at least three times when he didn't get his way.

Lori Newman's a SLUT, she just doesn't know it yet.

My only real problem with this, is that they don't mention my SPECTACULAR credit card debt and IMPRESSIVE lack of shelving for all the crap I've bought. Oh well, I forgive you eBay...I forgive you. In celebration of this feat, I will buy a potentially overpriced rear windshield wiper for my Honda Element.

i used to have a needle nose fish a few years ago who ate guppies. i named him Captain Beefheart and the guppies were his Magic Band.


in conclusion, i don't understand your question

This is a good start. I'm starting to understand the weirdness that is captain beefheart.

Will Ferrell and The Landlord...

http://funnyordie.com/v1/view_video.php?vi...24c7d2583be6925

Random insult du jour... I ran into my hair stylist this morning.

"Kathleeeen! Oh god, if your hair gets any longer, I'll have to put you on the poll."
"What poll?"
"The stripper pole."

Rule of thumb in the biz:
Hair above the bra strap, not a stripper.
Hair below the bra strap, stripper.
Good to know.

......



<<<<<<<< i see rufus was having some fun last night.

haha. slut.

Catbag?

from the wii golf game! ive wanted an avatar of it for months becuase i love the way it sways back and forth. looks like someone found it for me.

i still haven't played that. i almost rented it this weekend with a coupon i had at the video store, but they didn't have it in.

So stop wearing bras.

I've been trying to find $63 out of a total of $16,044,783, which requires sorting through 35 pages of numbers for the last 2 hours. Someone remind me why I thought accounting would be a good profession, plz. thx.

I'll remind you, but it's going to cost you $63

Hello pot? Kettle here.


You've never seen me. I go without a bra, and I might as well change my name to Destiny Diamonds.

touche




'tis true. Someone would get hurt if she freed those girls.


How about instead I pay you $63 to come find this for me? Argh!

your job sounds like a mature version of Where's Waldo

ok, guys, help me out. which numbers, if transposed would create a difference of $63? That might be my problem.

Miss Gay Fresno 2005?

$3207.68 and $3270.68 is the answer. FINALLY!

Thanks for nothing guys. Why couldn't you nerdz come up with that number for me?

92 and 29 were my best guess.

Spiders are filling out tax returns

one of my female coworkers just walked in wearing about a gallon of what appears to be men's cologne. i think i'm going to be sick

i think it's pierre cardin

most phallic bottle ever?

In a moment of weakness I embodied the sickness
And when everyone winds me up I just can't wind down
And the April rain soaks my jokes to a pulp
The sun makes my eyes burn
And it must be my turn
To fly with the birds this time

Saturday's nation is rife with anticipation
Of the ticket that buys you out of the real world
But I don't mind the rain
'Cause I was born on an aeroplane
Balloon ride over landslides
It's April, I'm 18
And flying with the birds in a dream

Make an electric connection as lightning strikes
Angels' wings not once but twice
Point blank refusal, the earth moves I turn her head
Plant life gone wild over British monuments
Something is burning
Somebody's learning
To fly with the birds tonight

Solomon flies tonight
Cape to coast, wings in full flight
He's flying home with the birds tonight
In a moment of weakness I embodied the sickness
And I just can't wind down

So, I've been saying lately that it's good that my friends get lucky and win concert tix because I never win anything. Well, today my luck has changed. I finally won. woo hoo.

Well, out with it.