I don't like chocolate and even I think that's fucked up.

I thought the nanny state had declared transfats a controlled substance already.

"Nanny state"!? The guy in the office next to me gave an inspired stump about the "nanny state" yesterday afternoon....are you the guy in the office next to me!?

Alan, "Nanny State"'s been around for a while. Hell, Jello Biafra sang "It's Dental Floss of the mind/Who will babysit the babysitters?" on The Power of Lard back in 1988.

Well, I'll be! I don't think I was aware of the term...I like it, though. Its insulting somehow...like a classier way of saying "Nyah Nyah Nyah" or "is widdle baby gonna cuh-wy"

I just found out that the new Spider-Man pinball machine is on hush-hush test at a sports bar about ten minutes from my office. FUCK yes. Geek = on.

Nom Nom Nom!

Yeah, I took a break from posting these things (I still look at them every day), but this one was too much to resist.

Love the "nom nom nom"

Might be in my top ten cat pics, can't stop laughing.

LOLTrek, or ...




Hey, Wil Wheaton! What would Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher say about this?

Biggie, is that Wallace?

As I'm sitting here eating one, I just realized I'm sick of bananas. I eat them everyday. It's just that they are so convenient. Easy packaging. No mess. No fuss. I eat apples everday too. I need a new fruit.

Nah. That is totally something he would do, though! Little dude is into tasting and sniffing everything.

Kiwis. You don't have to peel them, if you don't mind how the thick, hairy skin squeeeks against your teeth. I used to simply cut the fruit in half lengthwise, hold the fruit with the thumb & first 2 fingers of both hands, and then lightly squeeze the fruit 'til it comes out of the skin.

That's hot.

My mother says she'd like to have her ass ripped by Charles Bronson, if he was alive, of course. She's not a necrophiliac, fuckers, just a woman with needs.

kiwis are good, but it's hard to get 'em when they are at perfect ripeness. I've got two kiwis at home, but they aren't ready for eating yet.

Grapes are my favorite take-along fruit. Cherry tomatoes are also convenient. I haven't eaten a banana in 15 years (I bake with them, though).

I dunno, man, sounds like she's got a "Deathwish" to me...

Dude got totally Munsoned to have a mom that wants to get Bronsoned.

"Up next is Charles Bronson in... DEATHWISH 3:

'I wish I was dead."

Also:



Anyways. Finally, after not playing live since August because we've been a.) hiring drummers, teaching them our songs, and then firing them, or b.) attempting to record our songs in Tim Poison's basement that turn out shitty/get erased from his computer on accident, my band played its "comeback show" tonight. It was at a "battle of the bands" at an all boys Catholic high school.

First band: Generic White Stripes wannabe bullshit. Three guitars!!! Completely unnecessary!
Second band: Abominable crap. Awful guitar tone. Six people! And they still sucked!
Third band: Power trio! Covers of "War Pigs" and "Have A Cigar" played competently, with lots of ballsy shredding.
Fourth band: Metal. Slayer. Most of the band was in their 20s, what the hell??? A lot of people didn't like it.
Fifth band: Us... the one and only Poison Control. Slow, noisy buildups. Saxophone wailing. Drive Like Jehu-ish riffing. The guitarist's 12 year old brother playing drums. Me scraping a quarter against the high parts of the strings to make horrible Screeching noises. Fucking great.
Sixth band: Professional sounding, but hopelessly unimaginative blues rock. The guys had good voices, but c'mon! Fucking predictable as shit.

This was mostly an audience of piece-of-shit football jocks or kids who get made fun of by piece-of-shit football jocks but are still pieces of shit themselves. Lots of booing during our set, but some of the more awkward kids were fucking ecstatic about it and told us after the show how much they liked it. Now I know how Shellac must have felt opening for the Stooges in front of a bunch of booing, beer drinking old fucks who just wanted to see Iggy get nuts and here their garagey good time music. There was a lot of energy tonight, but it wasn't a joyous kind of energy. We were just up there unleashing the fury because that's just what you gotta do. Lots of intense, onstage yelling of cues and such. There was an energy there, but we had to rely solely on the music for that inspiration because the environment wasn't exactly ideal and not something an intelligent human being can really get caught up in.

Book us, please.

EDIT: The last band won 500 bucks, wtf.

^ Haha I knew the last band would win, that shit always wins.

1) cuatro de mayo party tonight, and I am not feeling like waking up early to record like five songs tomorrow!
2) cinco de mayo party tomorrow after that!

good night guys it awes fucking awesome

I just ate a piece of dark chocolate and the inside of the wrapper says "Temptation is fun...giving in is even better." I tend to agree.

If I worked for that company I'd replace all the wrappers with "starvation is bad... dark chocolate is even worse."

No way, yancy. I'd take dark chocolate over sex most days. It's heavenly and it's good for you.

You're talking about Dove dark chocolate? It's the best.

Man o man. It's the end of the world. It was 80 degrees just now in San Francisco (at 12:30 a.m.). And once I got back to the east bay, the bloated moon was hanging near the horizon and it looked EXACTLY LIKE THIS except it was orange!!!!!!!1

Death Star moon and Monday cat made my morning.

I like Dark Chocolate a lot, but I'd still take bad sex over it 99.44% of the time. And when it comes to Good Sex, let alone Great Sex, Dark Chocolate isn't even in the running.

And don't say "You'd feel different if you were a woman," my wife's told me exactly the same thing.

What you need is a Good Man. Or a Good Woman if you feel like batting for the other team. Or whatever combination it takes to float your boat.

And the same is said for Good Sex.

my bro's on air for for the next hour:45. www.kbut.org
so far you've missed: two tracks from The National and one from feist

The kitty has a mortgage. Feels like me today.

is it me or are the NBA finals way too drawn out.

Nah, dude. You are 100% right. I am a super fan, and they drag this shit out way too long for me, even.

we watched the bulls game at the spring inn in elhurst. bulls better get it together.

Really. Six more weeks of playoffs to go!

Most of the leagues are finding ways to pad the post-season to either get more ad space to sell or get big games inside of sweeps periods (the Super Bowl is now in February for a reason).

And keep it up with the anthropormorphized cat photos 'cause they rule. There's no way I spelled that "anthro" word right...

Freddie, you are correct. Although, I can think of a couple of guys from my past who would lose out if I had to choose. Luckily, they are in the past where they belong.

Perfection is combining sex with the dark chocolate and a little red wine. Cabernet and chocolate are a perfect pairing and make a wonderful aphrodisiac. Unfortunately, a lot of men don't appreciate chocolate. They are missing out on a lot of fun.

christ these things never get old.

Did you know that the seat in the car behind the shotgun seat is called cobain?

Cobain is behind the shotgun. That's so wrong. I kinda laughed though. I'm already going to hell, so I guess it doesn't matter.

Oh, why OH why did I read this thread? I was having such a grand time on the internet tonight.

um, ok. that makes sense.

piss bones shit brains ball and socket joint

sorry. i had to post this somewhere. it's cute and it made me laugh. it's ola's mini-me. Yes, I am aware that no one else will appreciate this. ts.

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I'm walking my dogs, yesterday, and this guy goes riding by me on a big black horse. He's speaking Spanish into his cell phone (the guy, not the horse).
Just a matter of time until there are laws against riding your horse & talking on your cell at the same time

Was he The Most Interesting Man in the World?