William Carlos Williams: "Goofing at the table... You just don't know."


Jack: "What don't I know?"


William Carlos Williams: "How good this ham and eggs is, if you had any idea what so ever how good this is then you would stop writing poetry and dig in."


Jack: "It's been so long since I've been hungry it's like a miracle."


William Carlos Williams: "Ah boy but them bacon and them egg."


Jack: "Mr Beggar and Mrs Davey, loony and crooney... I made a poem out of it... I have'nt smoked loony and crooney in a long time..."


William Carlos Williams: "Them eggs and them-them there bacons, baby. If you'll only lay that down on a trumpet, lay that down solid, brother. 'bout all them bacon and eggs."

THIS KID WENT TO ROCK 'N ROLL FANTASY CAMP LOL

hip hip

I went to the mall last week and saw tons of people wearing "Pimp Panther" shirts. And they were in lots of stores, too.

I just felt like posting that here, compulsively.

Now mine's stopped updating, and the Last.fm/scrobbler program keeps saying "You're not listening to anything"? WTF?

being awake at 430 am sucks

theres battlescars on my face and my arms but you still kiss me anyway.

YOU SIT THERE IN YOUR HEARTACHE

I haven't gone to sleep yet. This sucks.

I will laugh until my spleen bursts if Elco gets banned. Please god, let this happen. In the name of comedy, ban Elco.

I had tears in my eyes.

I DONT WANNA BE A CANDIDATE FOR VIETNAM OR WATERGATE CAUSE ALL I WANNA DO ISSS
BIIIIIICYCLE
BIIIICYCLE
BIIIII CYCLE

I WANT TO RIDE MYYYY
BIIIICYCLE

GARY SHUT THE FUCK UP PLEASE AND GET OUT OF THIS OFFICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I TYPE THIS AS I NOD POLITELY TO GARY WHO IS ON ONE OF HIS RAMBLINGS ABOUT GOD KNOWS WHAT. IDIOT!!

meljo: i had a horrible roommate fiasco in june that you would have been PROUD of
meljo: she sold my bike
meljo: to buy cocaine
meljo: so i put a rotting fish in her closet
meljo: and turned off the AC
meljo: and it rotted further
meljo: and stuuuuunk
meljo: and it was a big piece of fish
meljo: so by the time i moved out and she returned to the apartment, it had festered and decomposed so much that when she found it, it was the size of a mouse
meljo: and she thought it was a mouse
meljo: but it wasn't
meljo: it didn't even smell like fish
Farty McCrablite: what kind of fish
meljo: it smelled HORRIBLE
meljo: salmon
Farty McCrablite: salmon is a good call
meljo: i thought you'd like that
Farty McCrablite: i LOVE it
meljo: i hid it in a box in her bedroom closet
meljo: i am smart
meljo: then, since i knew her myspace password
meljo: i changed all her user pictures to that of STD's
meljo: then she wrote a whole huge long rant about me on hipinion.... which was like 11 pages

Merde, that's good
We need to have a Sex Offender Avatar Day. DrJimmy would get a Jeffrey Jones one.

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So true.

EVERYONE LEFT EARLY AND I AM GETTING PAID OVERTIME TO SIT IN MY OFFICE AND BLAST OZMA WHILE READING GOSSIP BLOGS LIFE RULZ.

Speaking of Ozma, I'm so proud to have turned Dan onto them.

i know, way to be a few years late to the party, danathan, you poser.

Just think, four years from now he'll be all "omg candy butchers so fucking awesome!"

Tentacle Love Appreciation Time!

Yay for ancient hentai.

Freddy, I'm waiting for a picture of a REALLY big cheeseburger

lol @ people talking about Ozma in this thread.

In-n-Out 100x100. That's 100 Burgers, 100 slices of Cheese. I also posted video in the Random YouTube thread.

How do you do? Mighty pretty greeting,
How do you do? Say it when yer meeting,
How do you do? With everyone repeating,
Pretty good sure as yer born.
What goes up is sure to come down,
a penny lost is a penny found
I'll howdy you, you howdy back,
this for that and tit for tat.
How do you do?
Fine how are u?
How ya comon?
pretty good sure as yer born
stop jumpin brer rabbit, youll run outta breath,
now sit down an calm yerself?
the grasshopper jumps, so do da fleas,
i do what i like, and iiiii suits me.
How do ya do?
fine how are u?
how ya come on?
pretty good sure as yer born

When speaking of pussy, it's important to get the words right:
Vagina A-B
Almeja (Spanish)
Asoko (Japanese)
Axe wound
Baby ATM
Baby cave
Baby chute
Badly-packed kebab (UK)
Bank
Bearded axe wound
Bearded Clam
Beast, the
Beef curtains
Beef sleeve
Bhosdo (Hindi)
Boba (Spanish language - What little girls call their vaginas)
Booger Bear
Boji (Korean)
Box
Bread-box
Budissey
Burial Mound
Bushy plate

Vagina C
Camel toe pie
Cave
Center of the universe
Cha cha (South Park reference)
Chatte (French)
Cheebye (Hokkien - Chinese Dialect)
Choach/Choachee
Chocho (Spanish)
Choncha
Choot (Hindi)
Choochi
C Jay C
Cock dock
Cock Gobbler
Cock holster
Cock Wallet
Cock warmer
Cockpit
Cock squeezer
Cockhole
Cocking station
Cocksocket
Cooch
Coochie-snorcher (from The Vagina Monologues, the Eve Ensler play)
Cooter
Cooz/Cooze/Coozie
Concha (Latin American Spanish)
Cona (Portuguese)
Coño (Spanish)
Crab-hole
Cream collector
Cream wringer
Cuint (Irish)
Cum bucket
Cum dumpster
Cum tunnel
Cunny
Cunt
Cunt Hole
Cus (Hebrew)

Vagina D-F
Dick holster
Dugout
El corte Ingles (Portuguese:"the English cut")
Elephant lady (woman with an abnormally large vagina)
Et cetera (old English euphemism)
Fadge
Fanny (British English; in US English it means the posterior)
Faj
Fanjita
Fetus cannon
First Pussy, The (The First Lady of the United States -- said to have been used by Larry Flynt when he acquired and published nude photos of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis)
Fish
Fish taco
Fitte (Norwegian)
Flange
Flesh tuxedo (Spinal Tap reference)
Flower
Flossy
Foo foo valve
Front bottom
Fuck chasm
Fud (Scottish)
Fun hole
Fun hump
Fur burger
Furry cup
Futz (Pennsylvania Dutch)

Vagina G-L
Gaj's fun area
Gap
Gaping wound of the Christian fathers
Gaping hatchet wound
Gash
Git
Golden doughnut
Goody bag
Goody gash
Gooey Love Hole
Grand Canyon (large vagina)
Grease quiver
Gummy smile
Gutted hedgehog
Hair pie
Hair taco
Hairy grail
Hairy love hole
Harsh Pathak
Hatchet wound
Holiest of Holies
Honey pot
Hoobie
Hotbox
Hurrah hump
Ihir (Arabic)
Jenny
John Bowman
Kuku (Latin American Spanish)
Lady garden
Love canal
Love lock
Love locker
Love locket
Love socket
Love pocket
Love mitten

Vagina M-R
Manko (Japanese)
Mating bucket
Meat curtains
Meat locker
Meat pocket
Meat sleeve
Meat wallet
Meow
Meercat
Mermaid's purse
Minge
Misty spelunk (from spelunking)
Monkey tube
Moose knuckle
Mutt (Australian)
Neden
Neko
Naani
No-no zone
Nooner (SNL skit)
Old oily
Omanko (Japanese)
panocha (spanish I believe, sweet brown sugar treat)
Papo (Spanish, used more in Venezuela than in Spain)
Peg Slot
Pie
Piffers
Pink velvet sausage wallet
Piss Flaps (Used in Canada mostly)
Pizda (Romanian)
Pooku ( Telugu [India] )
Poon
poonaner
Poontang
Power Slot
Praying mantis
Protung
Pudenda (Whoopi Goldberg)
Puke/Puki (Filipino)
Punani
Puppy maker
Purse
Pussy
Pyzda (lithuanian)
Queef hole
Queef vent
Raw prawn sarnie (fromB3ta)
Rat trap
red snapper
Right hole
Roast Beef
Rot box
Rug

Vagina S-X
Sausage wallet
Scar
Skwack
Sleipetorva (Norwegian)
Slippery slot
Slit
Slot
Snapper
Snatch
Snootchie!
Snoo Snoo hole
Spam purse
Spaz Hole
Sperm bank
Sperm purse
Spit bucket
Squeeze box (alternate name for an accordian, also a song by The Who)
Stinky pinky
Stinky orifice of Doom
Stink hole
Sugar walls
Sussy
Taco
Tang
The Winter of My Discontent
Trim (from Dogma)
Tuna
Tuna cave
Tunnel of Love
Twat
Tweety/Tweetybird
Vag (long g sounds like a j)
Velvet
vestial tube
Vertical bacon sandwich
Vertical Hatchet Wound
Vertical smile
Venus cock trap
Vitamin C
Whisker biscuit
Wildebeest's buckets (from B3ta)
Winking eye
Winky
Wizard's sleeve
Xibiu (Brazilian Portuguese)

Vagina Y-Z
Ya-ya
Yoni (Hindi)
Ying-yang
Yum-yum
Yummy

post of the day

vertical bacon sandwich

Puppy maker

You may appreciate this, from Mel's Country Cafe in Tomball outside Houston. What it lacks in the sheer number of burgers and cheese slices, it makes up for in bacon. I haven't seen this live yet, but some of my colleagues have been threatening to go.

It's really comforting to me to know that no matter how old we get, there is a part of us that remains 12 for ever.

Meat Wallet.

you got that straight ya Cream wringer

Old Oily.

This kind of deserves its own thread.

I'm gonna start using "omanko." It sounds lovely. As opposed to something like "pink velvet sausage wallet," that is.

Piss Flaps. I wonder if that's what the guys in Sloan say.

you might be right you old gutted hedgehog you

Yikes. That's disturbing. Almost as disturbing as this album cover I saw once at Metal Haven.

I have a friend married to a Korean girl, I'm gonna start calling him "Boji-boy".

who do you think you are? yancy?

fuck you!