No, seriously, I'm not talking about Pete Townshend or whatever. Even though the guy has even more teen porn on his computer than I do. I'm talking about the guys that strut around everyday, reveling in their unbridled cocklust for sinful pubescent flesh.

Most famous offenders I can think of off the top of my head.




Okay, seriously, what the fuck is this? The Beatles start out their professional career by basically admitting to juvenile buttlove. I mean, this is just one of many problems the Beatles had(I once read on Mark Prindle that John Lennon and Paul McCartney would participate in little circle jerks about Paul McCartney's mom or something, and since it was on Mark Prindle it had to be true), but it's truly one of the weirder ones that stuck out for me. Moving on.



Well, at least Barney seems to be professing some sort of guilt about a teen girl playing patty cake with his balls. Shit. Still, he was like in his thirties when he wrote this song. Gross.





Ah, it's 2 in the morning, I'm probably looking too deep into this.

is that an exasperated John Darnielle

i google searched "facepalm" and that was the first hit i got.

You found one Undo hasn't used? Wow.

This is fine here. Age of consent is 17.

:[

Little girl, it's a great big world but there's
only one of me
You can't touch 'cause I cost too much but
Tonight I'm gonna rock you
Tonight I'm gonna rock you
Tonight!
You're sweet but you're just four feet
And you still got your baby teeth
You're too young and I'm too well hung
Tonight I'm gonna rock you
Tonight I'm gonna rock you
Tonight!
You're hot, you take all we got, not a dry
seat in the house
Next day, we'll be on our way
Tonight I'm gonna rock you
Tonight!
Chorus:
Little girl, it's a great big world, but there's
only one of me-

Faith No More's Edge of the World
Wes Cunningham's Only You Know

You're much younger, can't you see
There is nothing more for you and I
I'm 93, you're sixteen

They searched all of Pete's computers and didn't find any porn at all.

Nothing. Zip. Zilch.

And believe me, they wanted to find something.


So shut the fuck up, you young nubile, doe-eyed, smooth-skinned thing you.

That's gold.

Haha, twas a joke, doc. You know I love The Who.

In Illinois too

so that makes the Stray Cats "She's Sexy & 17" okay!

Oh no shit? Now I don't feel as bad roaming the halls of Batavia High duping slutty 17 year old high school chicks. Now nearly half of my past-times are legal.

Let's not forget:

oh man someone needs to post that sound clip of chuck berry farting on a chick right now

Kiss - Christine Sixteen

She drives me crazy, I want to give her all I’ve got
And she’s hot every day and night, there is no doubt about it

Christine sixteen, christine sixteen

I don’t usually say things like this to girls your age, but when I saw you
Coming out of the school that day, that day I knew, I knew, I’ve got to have
You, I’ve got to have you.

She’s’ been around, but she’s young and clean
I’ve got to have her, can’t live without her, whoo no
Christine sixteen, christine sixteen

Dave Bartholomew asks "Do you want to Jump Children?"

Man, the 50's were fucked up.

The Rolling Stones - Stray Cat Blues

I can see that you're fifteen years old
No I don't want your I.D.
I can see you're so far from home
But it's no hanging matter
It's no capital crime

Oh yeah, you're a strange stray cat
Oh yeah, don'tcha scratch like that
Oh yeah, you're a strange stray cat
Bet your mama don't know you scream like that
I bet your mother don't know you can spit like that.

Song is seriously creepy. I must've listened to that cassette a few hundred times on a boombox while shooting hoops. Maybe that's why I'm so fucked up. Damn you Mike Patton, damn you to hell.

Err, they didn't need to. He used his credit card on an illegal site. So he's an idiot and a pervert. But it's okay: it was for "research."

Uh oh, now it's on.

That song is so perfectly set up because the music is so disarmingly charming, most people would probably be singing along to the words and have to think about what they are singing before they realize what it's about.

For those not in the know:

Faith No More - "Edge of the World"

Come here, my love
I'll tell you a secret
Come closer, now
I want you to believe it
I'll tell you all the things
You want to hear
Don't worry, baby
There's nothing to fear
Hey, little girl
Would you like some candy?
Look into my eyes
I've seen it all
Hand in hand
Together we fall
We'll sing and dance
And we'll find romance
And we'll stroll to the edge of the world
Come sit right down
Lay your head on my shoulder
It's not the point
That I'm forty years older
You can trust me
I'm no criminal
But I'd kill my mother
To be with you
We'll sing and dance
And we'll find romance
And we'll stroll to the edge of the world
Give me a smile
Let me see those pearlies
I'll do anything
For the little girlies

well, mccartney was only 20, lennon 22 when that song was written, so maybe not the best example

chuck berry was into his 30s when he wrote 'sweet little sixteen,' though

i'm just clarifying one point. he never downloaded a thing.

and who isn't a pervert? or an idiot in some way? i want to suck all of your cocks but i don't go around feeling guilty about it.

An oldies radio staple that always creeped me out is Gary Puckett's "Young Girl":

Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run, girl,
You're much too young, girl
With all the charms of a woman
You've kept the secret of your youth
You led me to believe
You're old enough
To give me Love
And now it hurts to know the truth, Oh,
Beneath your perfume and make-up
You're just a baby in disguise
And though you know
That it is wrong to be
Alone with me
That come on look is in your eyes, Oh,
So hurry home to your mama
I'm sure she wonders where you are
Get out of here
Before I have the time
To change my mind
'Cause I'm afraid we'll go too far, Oh,
Young girl

Not necessarily true. He could have nuked his hard drive.

you can't prove he looked at one image.

Yeah, he was just randomly submitting his credit card information. And making false confessions.

well, if you're going to go out of your way to introduce an unprovable hypothetical to build a case for your classy name-calling routine, you deserve to have one thrown back at you.

You said "he never downloaded a thing." Not "he might have never downloaded a thing." So I gave a method by which he could have. You made an unprovable statement, not a hypothetical, so I gave a possible counter-example. I like your quick switch from a definite statement to "you can't prove."

Can anybody defend R. Kelly?

you can fuck even hot bitches when they're 16 down here

Once you started name-calling, I had to switch tactics, moving from emotionally truthful to tediously logical. You are dealing with two different DrJimmy's: pre- and post- you calling him an idiot.

Your conflicting posts were both post-me-calling-him-an-idiot.

Your second post just didn't really make sense, as I was just providing a counter-example. I agree I cannot prove a thing. But if we only want to be "emotionally truthful" then you think he did nothing, I think he did. Vive le difference.

EDIT: I like that the "idiot" part was the one you took offense to.

Thread killed. Good job, guys.

well, yeah. "pervert" is a misused compliment.

I blame Maurice Chevalier for starting this sick trend.

Nothing wrong with singing about it or looking, just no touch. Music is outlet for pent up whatever.


'Nubile.' Fun word.

cut it out faggots

No, but who cares. Have you heard R. Kelly's latest single 'I'm a Flirt.' Badass song of the summer. Dude, is an all-star.

She be callin' me daddy, and I be callin her mommy
She be callin you Kelly, when your name is Tommy
I don't know what y'all be thinkin'
When you bring em round me
Let me remind you that I am the king of IRONY
Do you know what that means?
That means if you love your chick
Don't bring her to the VIP
Cuz I might leave with your chick
Just keepin' it real my nigga

Soon as I see her walk up in the club (i'm a flirt)
Winkin eyes at me, when I roll up on them dubs (i'm a flirt)
Sometimes when I'm with my chick on the low (i'm a flirt)
And when she's with her man lookin at me, damn right (i'm a flirt)
So homie don't bring your girl to meet me cuz (i'm a flirt)
And baby don't bring your girlfriend to eat cuz (i'm a flirt)
Please believe it, unless your game is tight and you trust her
Then don't bring her around me cuz (i'm a flirt)

Serious lolz.

Artist: Turbonegro
Song: Midnight nambla
Album: Ass Cobra


I am the midnight NAMBLA -
I am the two inch gambler -

The fondler of the nobbler -
The Nemesis of the toddler -
I look just like your father but I am -
The midnight NAMBLA -

I am the baby snake handler -
I am the nude pube bangler -
The dark fandangler -

The fondler of the nobbler -
The nemesis of the toddler -
I look just like your father but I am -
The midnight NAMBLA -

That's what I am -
I'm a nambling man -
I am gonna namble your asshole -
Tonight -

but you can't take a picture of them with their clothes off.

yeah. im pretty sure that if these guys ever get heard by the general population, namely in the southern region.... they will get banned from playing shows, or the police called on them a la marilyn manson.

lol @ "namble" as a verb. It works.

feeling nambly?

"I Wish Them All Dead" - The Wonder Stuff

I wasn't ready for this
It isn't something you'd miss
I'm gonna spit every word
So that my hate can be heard
It's for the M.B.L.A.
I wish them cancerous decay
That puts an end to their days

You know I wish them all dead.
I wish them all dead.

You know these fucks have the balls
To use municipal halls
To bring their shit into light
It's time to pick up a knife
Or any weapon you like
To see an end to their lives
Pick on someone your own size!

You know I wish them all dead.
I wish them all dead.

Go find relief in your graves
Yours are not lives I would save
What will they ask of us next?

You know I wish them all dead.
I wish them all dead.

DEADSY
"Itty Bitty Titty Girl"
Oh itty bitty titty girl
Where are you?
Oh itty bitty titty
Said our love was true
Oh my itty bitty titty
Is so young and so unused

Now itty bitty titty
Plays a mean hopscotch
As she does her little ditty
I can stare at her crotch
Oh my itty bitty titty
Little queen of double Dutch

Now itty bitty titty girl
Where are you?
Oh itty bitty titty
With those eyes so blue
Oh I love how itty bitty's
Little blouse is so see-through

So itty bitty titty
Now you're off to camp
But I bet those itty bitty undies
Still are damp
I'll be waiting in September
In the playground outside your class

Now itty bitty titty
Quit when I wasn't through
I found a place to keep her hid
Where nobody knew
Now my itty bitty titty
Lights up all of my afternoons

Oh itty bitty titty
As I came she blew
Still it doesn't hold a candle
To her black silk suit
As she clutches
Itty bitty titty
Now we're three from two





MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE
"Panty Shot"
5 Year Old Pantyshot
I Can See Between Her Legs
5 Year Old Pantyshot

5 Year Old Mother Fuckin Pantyshot Cant Complain
I Didnt Even Touch Her So I Cant Be Blamed
5 Year Old
Pantyshot In My Brain
My Life Has Meaning When She Spreads Her Legs

5 Year Old Pantyshot
I Can See Between Her Legs
5 Year Old Pantyshot

Shot Shot Shot

5 Year Old Mother Fuckin Pantyshot Cant Complain
I Didnt Even Touch Her So I Cant Be Blamed
5 Year Old
Pantyshot In My Brain
My Life Has Meaning When She Spreads Her Legs
5 Year Old Pantyshot

[Fast Part]
I Suffer Again Because Me Want To Fuck And Touch
And Fuck And Touch The Children
Me Fucked For Life
Me Grow Old And Then They Dont Want Me But I Still Want Them
Dey Want Me Fucked Cuz I Be Da Monstar Getting Down In My Evil Ways
Down In My Evil Ways

Right Me Suffer Again Cuz Me Want To Fuck And Touch
And Fuck And Touch The Children
They Want Me Dead Because I Be Da Monstar Dey See
I Dere Baby They Think Im John Wayne Gacy





CANNIBAL CORPSE
"Necropedophile"
I was once a man before I transformed
into this molester, freshly deceased children
You have born, torn by my rape
The dead are not safe, the lifeless child corpse
I will violate

Pleasure from the dead, complete satisfaction
I open the coffin
Sick thoughts run through my head as I stare
At the dead, over and over, I can't escape
I begin the dead sex, licking her young, rotted orifice
I cum in her cold cunt, shivering with ecstasy
for nine days straight I do the same
She becomes by dead, decayed child sex slave
her neck I hack, cutting through the back
I use her mouth to eject

Here I cum, blood gushes from
bleeding black blood
her head disconnected
As I came, viciously I cut, through her jugular vein
She's already dead, I masturbate with her severed head
My lubrication, her decomposition
Spending my life molesting dead children

Intercourse with infants
Curing heads on top of spikes
boiling skulls
Skin sliding off of bones

Voices
The voices call
Voices
The voices are calling me
Buried dead I've spiritually infected
Call to me from beyond their graves

Bleed
I now bleed pus
I bleed, the blood of the dead
I bleed on her livid skin
Thrusting myself within
Beginning to chop through her hairless crotch
Beyond what we know as death
It haunts me everyday
I hear the voice of every child
That lies next to me decayed
A fresh corpse, to fill with my infection
Tortured before death, no orifice left unfilled

Violated after death
Virgin hole I infest
Anal pore spewing cess
The sacred juice I injest
Your dead child I defile
Necropedophile





ANAL CUNT
"I Gave Nambla Pictures Of You Kid"

This one's absolutely disgusting...

"Don't Get 2 Close 2 My Fantasy" by Ween

Don't quiver little boy, your daddy's with you now
It won't be long anyhow
It's just around the corner
The destiny that I embrace with you

Don't get too close to my fantasy
Don't be afraid to clutch the hand of your creator
Stare into the lion's eyes and if you taste the candy
You'll get to the surprise

Stay calm little dreamer and drift off into dreams
The gentle kiss of night is better than it seems
It's just around the corner
Close your eyes and soon you'll be with me

Don't get too close to my fantasy
Don't be afraid to clutch the hand of your creator
Stare into the lion's eyes and if you taste the candy
You'll get to the surprise