So, just got an email that a friend of mine is being taken into palliative care, setting up the inevitable home hospice. He has bone cancer. Grade school aged kids, a wife and loads of Irish relatives. He has a band and was set on releasing their second CD in November but he's been too weak to complete it. He's still going to try and knock it out and I sure hope he does. I know it'd mean a great deal to him.

Anyway, Over the summer I gave him the Dylan Radio Shows, as he's a big fan of Bob. Now I feel the urge to help him in some way. Do I make him a meditative CD? Do I get him some comedy CD, a DVD, a book? And if one of those...which one.

Hate to bring things down at the holidays, but hey, it's life.

Naw, he's a practicing Catholic and has a strong faith.

He has a decent amount of time left?

Pretty sure he watched it during its run.

A huge bag of weed and your offer to bake them into brownies when you come over with your acoustic guitar.

http://www.starregistry.com/

Buy a star.

The brownies baked with that special ingredient sounds intriguing. Of course he's probably soon to be on those THC/morphine meds.



That would actually be good for a laugh and lift his spirits.

I lost a (not close) friend to stomach cancer last year. Sent him a cd of piano music because I knew he enjoyed it. I'm not sure he even got a chance to listen to it since he went pretty quick.

Rob you should probably go visit him. He's going to appreciate the company more than anything else.

A call girl and a joint.

If you can't flip that you can organize a private stripper party for around $500. All kinds of things can come out of that basic foundation (especially if you have champagne there).

2 or 3 hookers.


At the same time.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Sorry to hear about that

Fatherinlaw died of cancer in 2000...it's not fun, but I glad to hear your friend will be living in some comfort which was the best I could do for my fatherinlaw.

man that is intense. i'm assuming he's too ill to go out anywhere? it would be nice if you could plan something for him and his family (i.e. a day trip somewhere beautiful if he's well enough to travel in a car for an afternoon). or to experience something beautiful, like the ballet or orchestra or an art exhibit. or if possible, bring it to him.

sorry i realize that's probably not much help.

Start a college fund for his kids.

Good call.

You could give the widow a hand with whatever goes into setting up a fund for donations or something of the sort. Not sure what the complexities would be, but a clear mind and someone willing to do a few hours of grunt work at a time like this would have to be appreciated. Things need to get done. In a relative sort of way, they're, if nothing else, semi-fortunate for having the opportunity to try and line things up before he passes. I'm sure any amount of time you could offer up would go a long way.

Bummer man, really sorry to hear.
I think the college fund, as well as the personal company are probably the best ideas I've heard yet.
Can't really think of anything better than that. Whatever your friend gets laughs out of I guess.
Good luck to all.

The family's pretty well provided for. He is a very successful entrepreneur and started his own marketing company.

I actually was just told my services will be needed as a DJ for a benefit in the near future.

And, yeah, I'll be visiting him...probably at the hospital and then when he's on home hospice.

We were all hoping for a CD release concert in November. And now I'm thinking the last show they did in early October may be it. Thankfully I was there.

God this is awful. Dare I ask how old he is?

He's 47. Just all part of that circle of life.

When I saw the band last time, we talked after the show. Said he was going to take the family out of school that Monday and go to Ireland for a vacation. He said, "it's time". That's when I knew things weren't looking good. He's been in some real pain since his return.
Started doing radiation and guess it's not helping.

Still, he was diagnosed over 2 years ago and has been a real fighter. Did some experimental drugs, became very holistic, spiritual, etc. The doctors were impressed. But late summer the numbers started getting way high. And the cancer's been matasticizing to other organs in the last 6 months or so.

Vote for his album at #1 for the EOY poll.

I'd spend time w/ him. Offer to read to him when he gets too sick, or make some mix cds of music you think he'd like, or do something to give his wife a break. If you've got old pix of fun times, maybe put together a small scrapbook/photo album and spend time with him going through & laughing about those.

A good friend of mine died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 30. When diagnosed, she told everyone, "don't treat me any differently than you would normally, just because I'm sick." Since I was a new mom, I hadn't done much w/ her in awhile and didn't reach out to her for fear she'd think I was treating her "differently." She died 4-5 weeks later, we were out of town during the funeral, and I still feel shitty about it. [/confession]

One of my best friends died from melanoma when we were 29. When it was clear things weren't going to work out for her, I put together a photo album of all the crazy shit we did. I contacted friends of ours and they sent photos and notes, reminding her of fun things/inside jokes/better days. I put the whole thing together for her so that she would know how we all felt about her, and that she had been a huge part of our lives. She liked it, because during the times when there wasn't anyone with her, she still felt like we were there.

I'm sorry to hear this - and right on the heels of your sister-in-law. jeez what a blow. I don't have any better ideas then what's been offered already. Good ideas, somb.
My mother's husband is very sick and we're sure this will be his last christmas. I still have no idea what to get him...

A friend of mine passed from AIDS a few years back, and he requested that the song "Forever Young" be played at his funeral.

Instead, I taught myself the song on an acoustic guitar, then played it for him in his hospital room. That cheered him up remarkably.

Honestly, the slanket might be a good choice for his hospital comfort.

Why do you have to buy him something? You care about him, yeah? You love him, even?

What he probably needs from the people who love him is their time and their attention, b/c he wont be seeing them much longer. Be there for him, Rob. Hang out with him. Makeit a point to spend the time you always meant to and never did b/c you figured you'd get another chance. What could possibly have more meaning to your friend than being with you? Not a book, that's for sure.

I asked what section/room at the Cleveland Clinic he was in. His cousin told me he won't be in there long. Already making plans for home hospice. Seems to be declining rapidly.

When my Uncle was sick and nearing death, my wife arranged for a priest to come to his house, and he gave my uncle the Sacrament of "The Annointing of the Sick" -- In my opinion this would be (by far) the greatest gift you could give your friend.

Being a Catholic yourself, you know that eternal life isn't just a nice fairy tale -- but it is the most profound and wonderful reality that anyone could be aware of -- This Sacrament isn't a guarantee of eternal life in heaven -- because only God can determine that, but it's a wonderful step in that direction.

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church: "By the sacred annointing of the sick and the prayer of the priests the whole Church commends those who are ill to the suffering and glorified Lord, that he may raise them up and save them". --- I'll include your friend in my prayers too -- God bless you for trying to help him.

Benefit gig with his band and other local musicians and me DJing at the Agora here on Jan. 16th.

He's weak and in bed most of the time.

Kids seem to be handling it well so far.

I've also been asked to DJ for the memorial service. Not sure of the logistics of this yet and really don't like thinking about it.

Thought this was going to be bad news witht the bump there.

Probably shouldn't have mentioned the last bit, there will be a playlist up by noon knowing this lot.

Obviously at the memorial service I'll be playing some of his own band and his favorite artists which would include Dylan, Young, Ian Hunter, etc.

Enjoy the time as much as possible. See if there's anything he would appreciate having while there's time, whether it be a beer, a certain food, or a tune. Being there, as uncomfortable as it can be at times, is the best way to let him know how you feel.

The best way to die is also the best way to live - a good scotch, a good cigar, a good woman, and some good music.

Just got the call.
He passed away this morning.

Kinda of in shock. Very fast.

On Christmas though...wow.

My condolences. I can't imagine, don't want to imagine losing a friend on Christmas. My best to you during this trying time.

I'm sorry to hear it, Rob. My sympathies.

My condolences on the loss of your friend.

Horrible time of the year to lose someone close.

Sorry about your loss, Rob.

Unbelievable how these things happen.

sorry, buddy... get good and drunk today in your friend's honor.

Thanks you guys.

Yeah, it was such a rapid decline.

Just framed their family photo Christmas card of them in Ireland in October.

Still going to go on the NYC trip. It is my son's present.

Hoping the funeral isn't until Monday.

Sorry to hear that Rob, prayers and condolences go out for your friend; some people make a big impression in a relatively few number of years, it feels like your friend was such a person

Get over to see that family and spend time with them as soon as you can. May not seem like it at the time, but that's something that they'll really appreciate and remember for a long time.

O_o

Sorry to hear that. Just read this thread for the first time. Things like this are always hard to read no matter whether we know the person or not.

I just watched The Bucket List last night - and having been through the loss of my sister 13 years ago - movies like that, and unfortunate things like your friend passing just bring so many emotions to the front for me. Life is so wonderful, we should all be able to live long lives, if we can't live forever.

Best wishes as you get through this.

I'm sorry about your friend, Rob.

Sorry to hear this, RG.

Very, very sorry, John. Hope you're hanging in there.

really sorry to hear this, my best to you and his family. it seems awful that he passed on christmas but hopefully he got to spend a lot of time with his family before the holidays. my heart goes out to you guys x