Chicago clubs, unless otherwise noted.

The girls on VIP's site look damn good (it used to be Crazy Horse Too).

The Admiral is the biggest boy, but the girls on their site don't look all that hot.

the others? I don't know. I've only been to one strip club once in my life.

Where do you perverts go?

i voted for showgirls in palatine.

i think back about 20 or some odd yrs ago it was called Gay Paree or something. they used to sell velvet paintings in the parking lot during the day, and have a vegas style review at night. it's always had some sort of soft spot in my heart. when i was a kid and we drove by my parents made me cover my eyes while we waited at that intersection so my immature little mind didn't get any crazy ideas.

I like Scores the best.

dude you dont have skybox, cowboys, or club o all fine representatives of Harvey. Skybox is probably the best good looking girls, cheap dances, dollar beer and free pizza. cowboys is little bit seedy but you can get in for free with a pass from skybox and get free beer. the girls there are something you need to see with at least a six pack in you. and we cant forget all the sporadic hole in the walls around stone park. vip's sucks to expensive all the way around. never been to the admiral.

Club O is the best strip club outside of vegas

Skyboy is up there as well

arrange limo service from the city for large groups, they will probably pick up the tab

trust ashy larry on this one

This is fact.

Given what goes on in Club O, i'd take it over anything in Vegas as well.

What the hell goes on in Club O?

And is it just black chicks working there?

Its probably 30% European, 40% American caucasian, and 30% black.

Full nude, full contact, full liquor bar.

Let's just say happy endings aren't out of the ordinary....

Club O sounds like the kind of SOMB get together I could fully support.

Jimmie's in Chicago Heights.





Nothing but class.

There are several in Hammond that you don't have listed.

I looked on a site that listed all the local places, and one said that one of the places in Hammond (that is less than a half mile from me) had less action than the cemetary across the street. I've never bothered to go in there once.

i havent been in a strip club since i turned 18, and cant say i miss it.

but this club o, however....this is where....? my friend is wondering......

easily one of the worst strip bars ever, which of course makes it a must see. half the ladies there have scars across their bellys from cesarian sections.

hot.

when yr done go across the street to Big Boys and get the garlic fries.

You're kidding me? I'm so sorry!

I was obviously talking about the Chicagoland area!!! Why the fuck would I go to fucking Hammond, fucking Indiana!!!!?????

riiiiiiiiiight....

Yeah, I think there are "one or two" elsewhere in the world you missed off the list too.

The only Chicago area one I've been to is Heavenly Bodies in Elk Grove Village. Nothing special, but free beer after the $10 cover... makes for a cheap night.

its the natural evolution of the rld. they moved it from rush street to calumet to cicero, to lyons, to stone park and now harvey and hammond. club o gets a lot of white strippers from meriville in. and skybox is mostly chicago chicks. but i think for my money skybox is better. club o is anything goes but its a little upscale compared to skybox. skybox can get pretty nitty gritty and after they close you get your free pass to slum it even more at cowboys, free beer what else is there to say.

Strip clubs are the most pathetic places on earth. They stink of despiration.

You're right that it's Indiana, but Hammond is actually closer to the Loop than a bunch of those places (only about a 20 minute drive from downtown...Dan Ryan construction aside). Hammond's got the Industrial Strip, which is a juice bar, but full nude and full contact. A little seedy, but the girls are decent, and so are the prices. Last time I was there, about 3 years ago, a set of three songs only cost $50.00; although I suppose there's a good chance the prices have increased.

"Despiration"...that's, like, sweaty sadness? That's awesome! Strippers do smell of 'despiration'.

VIP's and Heavenly bodies are the only two i've been to. stinking of desperation is right. strippers say after some lap dances they feel like they have to take a shower to wash those filthy guys off of them.

Yes. Club O is a very good time.

at the industrial strip you can get a happy ending
but it's an extra $20 if you get any of your happy ending in her hair

This makes me wonder exactly what kind of lapdance it is if there is a risk of it getting in her hair.

it's really less of a dance and more of a blow job

ew.

how do you even ask for that sort of thing?

Kristiii: "Hey, Honey, would you like a dance?"
Dude: "No. Can you jack me off, though?"
Kristiii: "Yeah, sure."

i mean, i've been to more than a few strip clubs in my day and have never heard that transaction take place.

is it just me, or does every strip club have the same DJ? they all have the same voice, it's sort of a nerdy/creepy/slightly-nasal, somewhat-deep speaking voice.

you're going to the wrong strip clubs

So true. This is a phenomena i've never been able to explain.

Well, If you are talking about the area, then Hammond is far closer than Elgin or Palatine. I'm sorry that you'd have to cross state lines, but Chicago doesn't seem to think of the far south side as part of the city either. There is nothing south of 95th street, right?

Why else would you go to Hammond? Cheaper gasoline, cheaper cigarettes, fireworks and casinos.

And if you are a smoker (which I am not) you can still smoke your cheap cigarettes in public.

What's scary is when the dancers have that voice...

Chicagoland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You go start a fucking Indiana thread if you want.

I always get Hammond and Harvey confused. They're shitholes of equal magnitude.

I'm going to start one on Canadian strip clubs
In Canada you are allowed to touch the dancers anywhere, you just can't insert anything anywhere.

Or you could go to Hammond or Harvey and do the exact same thing.

NW Indiana = Chicagoland. Deal with it, suburbanite.

Which is worse: Harvey, Hammond, Gary or the west side?

Gary


As for Chicago's west side, some parts are pretty good. They've gotten better in recent years.

Yeah, but you still see whole city blocks with only a few houses on them. Crappy, falling apart houses. I think I should buy up those lots and sit on them for 50 years.

My old roomate used to go to this underground strip club on the west side that was in some dude's house.

He would never just come clean and call it a whorehouse.

Dude Northwest Indiana has always been a part of "chicagoland". Do you think it's a bunch of Colts and Pacers fans living 20 minutes from Chicago and 2.5 hours from Indianapolis?

Ah, Northwest Indiana, the bastard child that people find on their doorstep, then quickly run it over to someone else's doorstop, ring the bell, and run.

I tell you what, I'll acknowledge NW indiana as part of chicago land as soon as those idiots from there STOP driving in the left lane on the expressway like its their own private road and realize its the passing/fast lane not the "I'm a slow-ass from Indiana who goes slow in the left lane despite the fact that there are 20 cars are lined up behind me riding each other's asses and passing me on the right, to which I'm offended at, but don't get the clue that slower traffic should keep right and I'm slower traffic." lane.

Indiana and Wisconsin = Bass-ackwards bullshit. Keep those states out of my thread, fuckers.

Where do you live, exactly?

Screw the thread, Keep those states out of the fucking left lane.

We're losing focus here people. This thread is about strippers, strip joints, and the fine people who frequent them.

Goddamn Lil Mama
You know you thick as hell you know what I'm sayin
Matter fact
After the club you know what im talkin bout
Me and my niggas gone be together you know what I'm sayin
I ain't gon
Yeah you know
You got them big ass hips god damn!

[Verse 1]

Got the body of a goddess
Got eyes butterpecan brown I see you girl
Droppin Low
She Comin Down from the ceiling
To tha floo
Yea She Know what she doin
Yea yea yea
She doin that right thang
Yea yea yea a ea
I Need to get her over to my crib and do that night thang
Cause I'm N Luv wit a stripper

[Chorus x2]

She poppin she rollin, she rollin'
She climbin that pole and
Im N Luv with a stripper
She trippin she playin,she playin
Im not goin nowhere' girl im stayin
Im N Luv with a stripper

Mike Jones:
CHEA! MIKE JONES!
She's every man's dream,
She's God's gift to earth,
Women, they love em too, thats what chu call a womans worth.
See I love all the stippers, because they show me love. They no I don't pay its free whenever I hit the club.
But I can't even lie, the girls in here so fly, she sliddin up and down that pole, got me mesmerized. Mike Jones don't never trick, but god damn she thick. I can't lie I must admit.

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 2]

Out of all the girls she be the hottest
Likin the way she break it down i see u girl
Spinnin wide
And She lookin at me
Right in my eyes
Yea She got my attention
Yea yea yea
Did I forget to mention
I Need to get her over to my crib and do that night thang
Cause I'm N Luv Wit a Stripper

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 3]

She can pop it she can lock it
Teddy pinderas down im bout to see this sexy girl
In My bed
She don't know what she is doin
To my head
Yea She turnin tricks on me
Yea Yea Yea
She dont even know me
Yea yea yea ea
I'd have got her over to my crib to do that night thing
Cause I'm N Luv Wit a Stripper

[Chorus x4]


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Are you sure they are from NW Indiana? Yes, I know there are people from NW Indiana like that too.

Minimum speed limit for the Dan Ryan is 70mph in the right lane when there isn't a lot of congestion. It's the only place in the Chicago area where I have driven over 100mph.