Hollywood Week started last night, so this is as good a time as any to start up a thread. Tonight is Group Night, which is my favorite of the preliminary shows due to the train wrecks that happen as the pressure mounts and personalities clash.

We've had this thread in the Music area last year, but I think it will see more action over here. If anyone is appalled by this change, feel free to start up a thread over there, ignore this one, and insult me.

So far I think the talent level is very high. The hippy chick seriously needs confidence but might make it far. The cocky raven haired rock chick sings solid as hell.

My cousin tried out in Jacksonville, and passed his audition. Apparently there's a second go-around before Hollywood which he said he choked on and got cut. He wasn't on TV though.

How can this be? If Randy says, "You're going to Hollywood dawg". The dawg is going to Hollywood!

"You are going to a secret not televised producer determined pre-Hollywood audition, dawg!" lacks the same thrills.

I have long suspected such things with this show. But, yeah, it's obvious. For the show to work they probably work backwards, highlighting those they know actually go far from the beginning.

Pretty much, I was shocked and disappointed. He's a good singer. We were texting throughout the process, and I made him promise me I could be his live bassist if he became this year's Chris Daughtrey. Apparently he just didn't have it on the second go-around.

That issue was highlighted a couple of years ago by a dallas-area guy who apparently threw a fit about not actually making it to Hollywood when they pulled the rug out on him after his audition. Anything for a good televised storyline...

The top 36 has already leaked and pretty much been confirmed, so I'm just enjoying the drama and waiting to see how the others get cut.

Not necessarily, but they definitely highlight some of the ones they HOPE catch on with the public after they put them through.

Especially with the change this year, going back to the "wild card" rounds to make sure the judges have as much control over the top 12 as possible. Instead of the public voting out 2 people per week to whittle the top 24 down to 12, there will now be a top 36, and the judges will pick 3 out of each set of 4 "wild card" live performances (9 performers in each), and that's your top 12.

And the plants are still here. Obviously, the biggie is that Joanna Pacitti chick, who not only was on Broadway (and fired) at 12 years old, had a recording contract, and was covered by Britney Spears, but - and I love this - her current boyfriend is Mark Ballas of Dancing with the Stars fame, who is in a band with Derek Hough of DWTS, and guess who has written songs for their new album? That's right - Kara, the new AI judge!

This was quite the Broadway scandal. She won a contest sponsored by Macy's to star in the first Broadway revival of Annie! When she became sick, the producers replaced her. At the time there was much speculation that the producers took her sickness as an opportunity to get rid of her because they didn't like her performance. The revival wound up being a big disappointment and ran only 200 some shows.

I recall the 20/20 episode about it all. Her parents sued for $50M and settled out of court.

God this show sucks. I never want to hear "Mercy" by Duffy again.

Damn, apparently even AI has standards!





Although maybe not, since they advanced Tatiana del Toro, who not only can't sing but appears to be mentally unstable.

A grim evening of karaoke, bad song selection, and uncomfortable stage presence. Danny Gokey singing cleanup is the only one of the 12 I can imagine making a run at the final three and even his song was predicable and overly safe. Alexis Grace probably makes it through a weak group of women. After that it's pretty tough although I'd go with Ricky Braddy who has a good voice and some stage presence, although I'd like to never see the "Braddy Bunch" tee-shirts again.

God that was horrible. I thought the funniest subtle moment of the night was having Simon tell Ricky Braddy that he had no personality or charisma, followed by a shot of his parents, sitting with Seacrest, sporting completely bland, gray "Braddy Bunch" t-shirts. Way to drive home Simon's point with the mental image-equivalent of no personality/charisma, mom and dad!

I agree a bad night. God someone get Alexis some leggings legs so white I had to fix my t.v.

how badly do they want the widow dude to stay on to keep hammering home his sad tale? Any other night his performance would of been given the "I expected more" routine but they obviously know his story is good for the show. Don't get me wrong I have been a fan of his but last nght he was off and flat and they acted like he was great.

Why when Simon is the only one who speaks the truth does he get so little air time while Paula gets to babble on for days.

Not only that, but they shamlessly gave Danny the pimp spot, too. Research has shown that where you perform is almost as important as how you perform. Going last, it's almost impossible not to succeed. Dial Idol numbers show Danny was the only one with a significant voting preference, with Sarver and Alexis next. Sarver is going through solely because his story was played up during all the auditions. The others, like that Ricky Braddy guy who no one ever saw until last night, don't stand a chance.

Reposted for PH:

OK, some of you have asked for it, so here you go:

American Idol – 2/25/09

Seacrest informs us that we have a bartender, a welder, a comic, and a font designer. All we need now are the Professor and Mary Ann…And with a more effeminate than he wished flourish of his arm, Ryan tells us that THIS is American Idol. Last week’s top three are here – Alexis, Danny, and Michael.

The judges have reversed positions from last week. Paula and Simon are both flashing some cleavage. Kara lets the singers know “there are no second chances.” (Actually, there is – it’s called the wild card round). Paula tells them to “pick the right song.” Simon says it’s “too late for advice”, and gets into a girlfight with Ryan about the lighting. Randy still looks like he’s auditioning to play Foreman’s dad on House, or the father figure in Family Matters:The Next Generation.

We’re doing Billboard Hot 100 Songs again, so basically we don’t have a theme week.

Jasmine Murray will go first, and she will do “Love Song” by Sara Bareilles. Interesting choice, since Kara mentioned it last week. A 17-year-old black girl doing coffeeshop, flavor of the week music? Hmmm. She tries to “make it her own”, but there are several bad notes, and she’s a bit too strident for me. I also note the irony of her doing a song about writing a song during the world’s biggest karaoke contest. She shows a little too much Syesha-style attitude. Randy says she was pitchy, and had both good and bad moments. Paula “wants to disagree, but can’t…you sang all around it.” Kara calls her “young and commercial”, but says she was “all over the place.” Simon is “disappointed…you have the look and the attitude, you just haven’t got a great voice.” Jasmine tries to defend her choice, says she was “feeling it.” I give her a C.

No interview with the ‘rents?!? That feature died faster than Dunkleman’s career.

Matt Giraud, the duel piano player, will attempt Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida”. I’ll give him points for ambition, but he’d have been better off doing “Livin’ La Vida Loca”. He can’t match the range, notes, or pitch of the original. At one point he either changed the words, or got his verses mixed up, I can’t tell which. Credit for trying to be contemporary, but the performance was weak. Kara “wasn’t blown away…not your type of song.” Paula says he was “risky” and he “did go for it”, and “hopes you’re here next week.” Simon thinks it “verged on horrible, like a wannabe pop star.” Randy agrees with Cowell. They all loved Hollywood, hated tonight. Matt says he wants to do this style as an artist – Simon says “zip it.” A C- at best.

Oh, and if you’re one of the 17 people out there still paying for music, you can find tonight’s performances on itunes.

Jeanine Vales tries the Haley Scarnato approach with Maroon 5’s “This Love.” If you focus on her legs, and not her voice, it works. The vocals do not work at all, and she never decides which way she wants to sing it. The runs are out of place, and there’s something weird about a 28-year-old female doing a glorified boy band song. Paula has nothing: “great legs, it’s season 8 – Simon?” Simon calls it “terrible, for you...painful.” Randy says “the legs are hot, but the best part was the end.” Kara notes the song was “so overdone…everything about it was wrong.” Jeanine plays the “under the radar” card, which is not going to win her any votes. She also claims she “overcompensated.” Randy reminds her she was out of pitch, and Simon flatly states she’s blown it. Ryan asks Paula if she deserves a shot. She refuses to commit, but Kara says no. Jeanine begs. D+.

In the red room, with red curtains, don’t change the station…(no one under 40 will get that.)

Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle is up. He has a headband, a tux coat, and khaki shorts on…outfit by Goodwill? And he sings “I Am telling You That I Am Not Going.” How to describe this? He’s everywhere at once. He licks the Idol sign. He makes fun of the vocal runs that Jennifer Hudson made famous. He inserts the audience into his song. He calls Neil Patrick Harris “Doogie”. I’ve got to be honest – I’m laughing my head off watching this guy. Then…he hits the freaking big note at the end! If there is ever a drag queen performance of “Dreamgirls”, we have our Effie right here. Simon will hate this – he hates Nick worse than he ever did Sanjaya. He doesn’t disappoint me, saying “I pray you do not go through…one of the most atrocious…horrific comedy.” Randy was having a seizure during the song, and says “It was the most entertaining performance ever.” Kara: “At least we remember you…not a bad singer.” Paula calls it “part Olivia Newton John, part Jerry Lewis” and notes “there are plenty of stages for you.” Simon implies Ryan is gay…again.

A few words here…Nick has figured this game out, people. He’s this year’s Chris Sligh, or this year’s Daughtry. He knows he can’t win, so he will use the platform the judges have given him, and he will make some sort of career out of this. Should he be here as a singer? Nah. But can Idol use him in all of their skits, and to entertain? Absolutely. He’s already won, whether the voters bring him back or not. A- for comedy, B- for singing.

Red room, red hair…Allison Iraheta is a quirky 16-year-old. I’m not sure “Alone” by Heart will work for her – she’s bound to draw (unfavorable) comparisons to Carrie Underwood and Carly Smithson. Still…she gives a pretty fair performance. Apart from the unnecessary runs, it’s not bad – definitely the best so far tonight. The outfit is half Avril Lavigne/half Charo – it’s wholly hideous. Randy thinks this “is a funny show…but you blew it out the box!” (I assume that’s a good thing). Kara says Allison doesn’t know “how good you are.” Paula is half asleep, so she falls back on “you can sing the telephone book.” (I want this to happen…just once. An artist comes out and sings “Triple A Auto…Aardvark…Aaron…”). Simon notes she was “the best tonight by a clear mile…” but says she needs confidence and personality. Ryan talks to the mom, but says nothing noteworthy. In summary, this isn’t the “moment” everyone looks for, but I’ll give her a B+.

Kris Allen is from Arkansas, so I assume he’ll do country. Wrong again. He goes the Chris Richardson route with Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror”, a major risk. He proves himself to be intelligent, though – he sings it in a way that showcases his vocal ability, and plays to his strengths. Hits some big notes, doesn’t overdo it. Much better than expected…and maybe the best of the night so far. Kara, who I’m beginning to think hates all young singers, says “the front was rough”, and that “Hollywood was better”. Paula “disagrees completely…you nailed it…charming.” Simon agrees with Paula, saying Kris is “not the best in the competition, but you did what we asked…I’m quite proud of you.” Randy thinks Simon is “partly right” and notes this is the first time Kris hasn’t used his guitar. He labels it a “nice jump off.” I need Randy subtitles. I give him a B+.

Halfway through the show…clearly Allison and Kris are the best. Somewhere in North Carolina, Anoop Desai is cursing his fate at being place in Group One. So is Tatiana Del Toro (Spanish for “Mikaylah Gordon”), assuming she doesn’t have therapy tonight.

Itunes…because Apple needs the money.

Megan Joy Corkrey is someone I don’t remember at all. No worries, though. Looking like a cross between Brooke and Carly, she does modern with Corinne Rae Bailey’s “Put Your Records On”. It starts really well – she has a distinctive voice, without sounding overly affected. I could see her doing Edie Brickell, but also Alanis Morrissette. Other than hitting the middle part a little too hard, this works. She’s got a shot to advance. “You picked the right song, the camera loves you…you’re hip, cool” says Paula. Simon calls her a “funny little thing”, agrees with me that she “oversang the second part,” and “Hopes America votes for you.” Randy agrees, noting her “Amy Winehouse vibe, a smoky jazz thing.” Kara thinks she is a “package artist…with the right song, you could have a breakout.” Hmm – know any songwriters, Kara? B+.

Matt Breitzke does a completely middle of the road song that I actually like, “If You Could Only See” by Tonic. Here’s the problem: If he sings it well (which he does), it still won’t reveal much range, or be memorable at all. And that’s exactly what happens. Simon “really like[s] you, but I absolutely hated that song…boring, didn’t suit you”, and is “frustrated”. Randy calls it a “great song, but the performance was so boring…just OK.” Kara piles on: “you didn’t show us any side of you…poor song choice.” Paula tries to rally him: “Real good choice…but the song didn’t celebrate you.” Matt says he’d do it all over again…which is why he’ll go home. B for performance, D for song choice.

Jesse Langseth really should be smarter than this. Did she not learn anything from her brother (Jonny Lang)? She wears a weird one sleeve sweater, and butchers “Bette Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes. This, in my jaded opinion, is an average karaoke version of this song. She can’t approach the vocals needed, and it all falls flat. Randy thought her “OK…the song was cool…not exciting”. Kara laughably calls this “your best look”, and says she “had issues with some notes, but there were some moments I liked”. Paula loves the drum part of the song, and the audience joins her in clapping with it. However, her medicine just kicked in, because she found Jesse “captivating…you have an identifiable sound…you’ve got ‘it’.” Just because a sound is identifiable doesn’t make it good, Ms Abdul. And if this girl has “it”, hopefully a shot will cure it. Simon, of course, says what I’m thinking: “I disagree with Paula. It was forgettable, like you’re ‘too cool for school’.” Someone give Cowell an updated slang dictionary, stat. C-, and I might be too generous with that.

Kai Kalama goes old school with “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted.” He has an odd look I can’t quite place. He sings it pretty well, but the song choice will kill him. Kara calls him on “some pitch issues.” She thinks he gave it his all, but was too old-fashioned. Paula, who falls in love with any decent male vocalist, says he “sounded really good…I didn’t know you had that level of performer in you.” Huh? Go back to sleep, Paula. Simon rips it: “very old-fashioned, corny, a wedding/hotel performance, nothing distinct, original, or memorable.” He says Kai would be a great “backup singer”, which makes me think of Brandon Rogers again. Randy condemns him: “So safe…not what I’m looking for at all.” B for vocals, D for song choice.

Mishavonna Henson chooses the most boring hit by the most boring band of the last twenty years, “Drops of Jupiter” by Train. Note to all contestants: If the lead singer of the band you choose could not make the top 36 of the show, WHY would you choose one of their songs, unless you can “change it up”? She actually improves on the original slightly. She does what can only be called a decent job on an utterly average song. Paula concurs, saying “it wouldn’t have been my choice of song, but you can sing.” Simon dubs it “technically good, but something left me cold.” Randy wants her to go younger, and Kara tells her to loosen up. Daylight come, Mishavonna go home. B for singing, F- for song choice.

Constantine Mar-, um, Adam Lambert, gets tonight’s sweet spot. He chooses “Satisfaction” for his mother, since she likes the Stones. This is all image and vocal runs – the vocals are fair, with lots of Darkness-style shrieking and posing for the camera. If anyone can figure out what he should sing, he has a real chance to do well. Paula is beside herself: “I was watching an Adam Lambert concert…you left some in the rear view mirror.” Simon is with me: “parts were excruciatingly bad, other parts were brilliant…it’s a love it or hate it performance”, but also says “I think you’ll get through”. Randy “loved it” and compares him to everyone under the sun, from Jagger to Fall Out Boy. He does note that it was a bit “manic” and cautions him not to “overdo it too much.” Kara loves it, too: “craziness in a good way.” Randy calls him current, which begs the question: “How can anyone be current singing a 40-year-old song?” B.

Should go through: Kris, Megan.
Has a chance: Adam, Allison.
Most memorable: Norman, Adam
Will make it: Adam, Megan, and either Allison/Kris/Norman (never underestimate VFTW).

No need to repost for me, just pointing out this thread for the others in the Music forum. There's definitely no reason to have dueling threads all season. Even though there is enough suckitude to spread around.

Nah, we'll keep it here...I just couldn't find the thread earlier.

I can't stand Adam, but he made a brilliant move on Wednesday. Simon (I think) said he looked like the Twilight guy, and Adam was like, "I love Twilight! I love those books and that movie!"

+3000000000 votes

And now he's through. Poor Norman.

I don't even know what the hell that means. What is Twilight?

I was very surprised (maybe not as much as Kris) to see him get in over Megan. But never underestimate America's uncomfortableness with tattoos. Carly Smithson battled that all season last year.

Results Show - 2/26/09

Ryan reminds us that YOUR votes are what set this train wreck in motion…he pauses by Nick and asks the nation: “WHAT have you done?” (Nah…there’s no way Nick is in the top three…right?)

25 million votes were cast, and the silver bidet chairs are back for the winners. Recap of last night. Ryan and Simon banter again, and Simon asks a little tired of it all. Recap of the contestants “journeys”…Randy perks up a little until he realizes it’s not his Journey.

The group sing is “Closer”, in which Adam and Matt do their best boy band impersonations. At one point Nick forgets the words, but his vocals blend in (unless the producers have pulled another Ramiele Malubay stunt by turning off his mic). The song is OK for what it is – forgettable pop. It features the phrase “I just can’t stop” at least 150 times. After hearing it for the twentieth time, I think “Please do.”

Highlights. Makeup. And results, sort of. Ryan asks Nick what he will do if he loses. “I’m looking for employment…always.” Matt is “having fun.” Jess says song choice is difficult, but she still feels hers was correct. Jeanine’s legs still think she overcompensated.

Allison, Jesse, and Matt go center stage. Not a good sign for Matt. Randy says Allison should be the one. And she is. Attired in her Minnie Mouse dress, she does “Alone” again. After advancing this far, I doubt being alone is something she’ll ever need top worry about again.

Round 2 is Megan, Kris, Matt, and Jeanine’s legs. It’s obvious this will be Megan or Kris that advances. Paula is asked who should win – she hems and haws, and finally says it won’t be Jeanine’s legs. She is “torn” between the rest. Simon is doing something off camera, because she calls him a “gnat”. The legs are out. So is Matt. Kara tells Matt he “threw her.” She compliments Megan. Kris, however, is the one going through, which immediately makes me think Megan will be back for the wild card. He does “Man in the Mirror” again. It should be noted here: if you can do a song I hate, and make me think you did a good job, you will always advance on this show. See also: David Cook doing Mariah Carey.

Idol time filler, um, retrospective video. Montage of past clips over “What a Wonderful World.” And everyone’s favorite nanny, Brooke White, is back. She’ll perform her first single, “Hold Up My Heart” It’s part Motown, part country, part 70’s singer/songwriter, and utterly forgettable. Brooke may be the nicest person in the world, but that tune is not bringing in major sales. The judges are kind of into it, with the exception of Simon, who is bored.

Five left – Mishavonna, Kai, Nick, Adam, and Jasmine. Ryan reviews them in order, but skips Nick and Adam. MishavonnaBeAlone is out. Kai is bye-bye. Jasmine and her ego are also gone. Nick and Adam are still here. Simon says he prayed for six hours about Nick. And Norman Gentle is gently excused. Don’t worry…he’ll be back. I guarantee that…whether as a wild card or in the finale…he’ll be back. And if he plays it straight in the wild card, he may have a chance to advance.

Adam does his version of “Satisfaction” again, and I’m thinking he may be too graphic for this show. At one point he rubs his crotch like Michael Jackson. He them goes into Jack Black mode with the high screamy vocals.

Prediction: Megan will be back. Others who have a shot are Matt, Jasmine, and Nick. The judges loved Matt until last night, they had Jasmine picked early on, and Nick is too entertaining not to get more face time.

I was glad Kris made it. After Norman I enjoyed his performance the most.

The thing is that Kris made no dent at all on the DialIdol results, which had Jesse or Matt getting the third spot. Is this the first indication of the producers gaming the results this year?

Simon kept saying to Paula, "Just answer the question' about 3 or 4 times, completely throwing her already questionable concentration off and making it even more difficult for her to speak. he's completely bored with the show and is just looking for ways to keep himself busy and entertained during these interminably long shows. I think we watched a total of 25 minutes of the results shows so far. Thank God for DVRs!

I seriously doubt it. DialIdol isn't perfect, especially when, if you actually look at their numbers, several people after Adam and Allison were bunched together. I don't think DI is THAT precise. Four people between 2.90 and 3.52. That's awfully close.

sure seems with the economy they are doing everything they can to get who they want in the top 12. Aam sux but is marketable that fucker screamed satisfaction and even Smon said he liked it

wtf

Are you kidding? The awful vampire book series with the insane teenage girl fan base? They made a movie? Sigh.

Never heard of it. My oldest daughter's 9, and I don't watch movies. In fact, until I saw the newspaper the day after the Academy Awards, I thought Slumdog Millionaire was a Kayne album title or something.

Crazy. The whole thing reached a fever pitch late last year when the movie came out. 12-year-olds were losing their minds. Young children were asking to be bitten by the lead actor. Weird stuff. I imagine the crossover fan base between Idol and Twilight to potentially be pretty huge, so I thought Adam made a pretty swift move.

Better late than never:

American Idol – 3/3/09

It’s our last qualifying round for the top 12. Here’s a shot of the six who have made it: evidently Danny Gokey only owns one shirt. Simon says that they should have a week in the future in which he picks all of the songs contestants sing…I could actually deal with that. This week, however, it’s Billboard Top 100 Hits again, which means the choices are wide open (as long as Idol was able to get licensing rights, of course.)

Von Smith draws the dreaded first spot. He inherited Seacrest’s hair from last season, and sings Marvin Gaye’s “You’re All I Need To Get By”. I predict Randy will hate this. Von is trying to be Elliott Yamin, and almost gets there. Almost. Randy says “dude” fifty times and calls it “very hot.” Simon says Von reminds him of Clay – Von is conflicted now – he doesn’t want to be thought of as gay, but Clay did finish second. Kara thinks he’s “coming into his own.” Pretty solid job – I give him a B.

Buytunes pitch.

Taylor Vaifunua does “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys, my latest nomination for “Songs Idol Should Retire”. She looks and sounds like she is trying to be Jordin Sparks, part two. She struggles throughout with the lower notes. Audio glitch? No harmonies until the last verse. Kara tells her it’s obvious she has a voice and talent (I should hope so, after you’ve eliminated 99,964 other contestants!), but now she wants to see her “personality.” And she wants to go shopping with her? While you’re out, Kara, shop for a personality of your own. Paula is “perplexed” (no, really?) because Taylor did that song in Hollywood. Simon is still puzzling over the shopping metaphor. Neither does Randy. Simon goes on to say the song was “very generic…a bit bland.” Randy gets cut off by the music, but blurts out “kinda boring.” I give Taylor a B as well.

Redroom! Redroom! Alex has been online, reading about himself (bad move). Since he has the image of being a dork, he hit the weight room. Do we care? Not really.

So Alex Wagner-Trugman attempts “I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues.” Note to contestants: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: If you’re going to do a song which has been proclaimed someone else’s “moment”, you better NAIL it, and you’re on a slow bus back to the hick town you came from. Anyway…Ugh! Don’t dance, Alex! Don’t bear down on the vocals, either. I’m reminded of JPL trying Elvis..and this doesn’t even work as well as that did. Oh, and this kid…has NEVER been “under the covers: with anything other than a flashlight and a magazine. “Certainly entertaining” burbles Paula, who is strangely lucid this evening. Simon tears into him: “fun watching, but not listening to you…ridiculous growling, like a hamster trying to be a tiger, a bit stupid.” Randy calls it “crazy” and “buck wild” and says “dude” over and over. Kara says “Alex…you do you.” (like he has a choice?) Seacrest tries to pick him up, and it’s like looking at a “now and then” photo. C- for Alex.

Arianna Afsar is someone I don’t recall from auditions, not a good sign. “The Winner Takes It All”? Really? That’s a bold move even in a top five show, let alone now. It’s slow, boring, and almost like she’s in a “Miss Shopping Mall” pageant. The vocals runs don’t work, and it’s just a horrible choice. Simon notes the “certain irony to the lyric”, and says the song was way too big. Randy tells her to show her youth. Kara says it was dark and depressing. Paula says it had some good moments, but agrees with the rest, telling her that some songs should be sung as written. She does think Arianna would be fine with the right song, though. D+.

Ju’Not Joyner is someone I hope gets through – he’d be this year’s version of Chikezie. I’ve officially had enough of “Hey There Delilah”, though. She went to New York because she can’t stand the emonerdboy that’s obsessed with her…give it up already! Interestingly, Ju’Not’s vaguely thug look works on the whitest song ever. The crowd loves it. Randy riffs on his name, and calls it a “smart choice.” Kara says it was “smooth, fluid.” Paula asks where his little boy is…I assume she means his son, and not something else. Simon says if he’d stripped it down even more, it would have been his “moment.” Ju’Not has had some health issues, and Ryan becomes obsessed with his “shot in the tush.” Too easy a joke for me. Ju’Not, so far, is the best of the guys. B+ from me.

In the red room again with two girls – Kristen and Nathaniel. Another ipitch.

Kristen McNamara tries to vamp it up on Tracy Chapman’s “Gimme One Reason”. It comes over like a telethon cover tune. She’s a karaoke host? Makes perfect sense to me. It’s weird – uncalled for vocal runs everywhere on a song that is barely tolerable to begin with. Kara likes her hair, and says she should do Clarkson or Pink songs. Paula says the song was “safe, but showed vocal range.” Simon thinks it an odd choice, but Kristen has a good voice. Randy isn’t sure who she is, and that she tried to do too much with an easy song. C+.

Nathaniel Marshall – hair by WeedWacker, clothing by Goodwill. I hate this kid already, and then he decides to do “I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)”?!?!? Someone do me a favor: find Jim Steinman for me so I can beat him to a pulp for writing this piece of crap. Nate starts too high, doesn’t build, picks the wrong parts of the song to sing, and it’s a train wreck. What exactly is it he won’t do? Date girls? Dress normally? Remove the stupid face jewelry? Sing well? Simon gets the best line: “I think you probably would.” He notes the Olivia Newton-John headband again, and calls it “uncomfortable…but people will remember you.” Randy can’t imagine what type of artist Nate would be. He then mixes up Elton John with Olivia Newton-John several times. Kara wants to karaoke with him, as soon as she gets back from shopping with Taylor. Paula calls this “the Boy George version of that song”, which means even her gaydar is working. Ryan takes Nate over to Simon, making him extremely uncomfortable. C- for the effort.

Felicia Banks, aka I Replaced Joanna Pacitti, is back for another shot. Being #37 on this show is like winning the NIT in college basketball. “No One” by Alicia Keys. She’s a bit sharp, and has some really bad notes on the chorus. She rushes through it as well, staying about a note ahead of the music the entire time. It’s not horrible, just not great either. Paula is sold, calling her “gorgeous…hope we bring you back.” Simon says it was “a bit copycat…I’m not as enthused as Pauler.” Randy thought it was hot. Kara noticed her for the first time. History shows second chance contestants usually advance, but I’m thinking she’ll be a wild card if she does. B.

Scott McIntyre is up next. He sings a too slow version of Bruce Hornsby’s “Mandolin Rain.” He has the disadvantage of not being to connect facially with the audience. Let’s be honest: the vocals here are average at best, and the additions he makes aren’t helping. But, he’s blind, and has an OK voice, and the judges have already anointed him to the top 12, speaking in terms of “next week” and “in the future”. Randy felt his passion. Kara tells him he “moved mountains” and was “passionate”. Simon wasn’t crazy about the song, but would be amazed if he doesn’t go through. Me too, Simon, but the song was just a C+. Ryan calls him “Scotty the Body”? Really? Did you NOT learn your lesson with Scott Savol? Dude.

Kendall Beard wants to be Kelly Pickler, and does “This One’s for the Girls.” It has a few decent moments, but mostly, it’s not working. She needs a Carrie performance, and she doesn’t even match Amy Adams. Kara notes her big…”personality” but says she had some issues. Paula likes her outfit, and hopes she had fun. If Paula can’t say anything nice about your vocals, you’re toast. Simon says it was the right thing to do, but she could have chosen a better song. Randy liked the choice, not the vocal. C for me.

Jorge Nunez will break my “moment” rule by doing “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”. It’s a good, not great performance. Still some evidence of his accent here and there, but this is working wonders on everyone but me. Jorge’s eyebrows have a life of their own. Paula is rapturous: “so proud of you…you took our advice…fulfilling your dream.” Simon tells him not to worry about the accent any more. Randy notes “it wasn’t perfect, but it was really, really good.” Kara thinks Jorge is “born to sing”, and has a “gift of touching people.” He cries. Paula cries. Every preteen in the crowd cries. Somewhere Sally Field is crying. Suddenly I think Jorge may be back next week. I cry. Give this one a B, and I fully expect Jorge to do that god awful Enrique Iglesias song about being a hero sometime soon.

Lil Rounds in the pimp spot. Here is our one contestant that doesn’t have to kill to advance. Simply being good will be enough. Mary J. Blige’s “Be Without you” is an odd song to showcase vocals, but Lil is good enough. She actively campaigns for votes during the song – if she can avoid the LaToya London rep for being cold, she could win this thing outright. It was not her signature performance, but it was good. It’s Simon’s favorite of the night. Randy says she kept her swagger. Kara tries to sound black, and fails miserably. Paula calls her “first class” and says we’ll see her for “many more Lil Rounds.” I think Paula had a few rounds herself. A-.

Should advance: Lil, Ju’Not.
Will advance: Lil, Scott, Felicia
Could sneak into top 3: Jorge, Kristen
Wild card: any of these that don’t advance

And the results...

Idol Results Show, 3/4/09

Seacrest owns a tie? Who knew? He reminds us OUR votes control this. (Well..yours do…I rarely vote.) Randy is in Bono glasses, it’s Kara week for cleavage, and Paula wears her curtains.

“Journey” montage. Group sing is Katy Perry’s “Hot and Cold”, and it’s OK for what it is. Nathaniel does sing with guys, BTW.

Recap. Nate had fun. Jorge is grateful for the opportunity, but says LA is freezing. You just lost the Midwest/New England sympathy vote, Jorge. Felicia was happy with her choice. Ju’Not had an asthma attack, which makes Ryan all teary-eyed.

Lil is first – so much for the drama. Kara says Lil has “ridiculous vocals every week.” Lil does Blige again.

Next group – Arianna, Taylor, Alex, Kendall, and Scott. We all know Scott will advance, which means the others should start praying for a wild card spot now. Arianna says she could have picked a better song. She’s out. Taylor – out. Alex has some regrets, but is happy he stayed true to himself. He’s not in either. Kendall and Scott were both happy with their choices. Scott is in – even a blind man could have…oops. Randy says Scott “needs to keep it hot…looking forward to piano.” He sings again.

Nathaniel and Kristen are next. Ryan and Simon play the “you’re gay/no, YOU’RE gay” game for the 143rd time. Nathaniel is out. No, I mean he’s going home. Kristen is also gone. Von and Felicia…(wait…did Simon just flip Ryan off?) are both history.

This leaves Ju’Not and Jorge. I have a very bad feeling about this…Ryan does the bait and switch with the break – we still have to announce the 8 wild cards. And Jorge is in. Ju’Not? Wild card? Please?

The wild cards are next – will they have the guts to pick Norman? Randy gives Von Smith his second shot. Kara tells Jasmine Murray to “kill us with your vocals”. You first, Kara, OK? Paula tells RickyBraddy he is back. I keep waiting for him to say “If you ain’t first, you’re last!” Simon brings back Megan Joy Cookrey, who should have been in two weeks ago. Randy, no. Dawg. Dude. Please. Tatiana del Toro? So much for Nick/Norman’s chances – only one “character” is going through. She cries more than a Mexican soap opera.

Kara tells Matt to try again. Paula picks Jesse Langseth, which shocks me. So much for Jackie. Wait a minute. Anoop is still waiting, and so is Ju’Not. Guess what? Ju’Not getting in, man. Anoop is the last pick, and seems to be stunned but it all.

Jorge sings again, and the wild cards’ last, last chance is tonight. Without hearing them at all, I’m picking Jasmine, Megan, and Anoop, which means they’re probably all doomed.

Picture taken at the moment Tatiana was announced as a wild card pick:




This show has become so predictable it would be laughable if it wasn't so sad.

Thanks for the continued updates! The thread seems not to get as much action in the past but the updates are always fun.


Yeah, I just don't get some of the production decisions that are made that push everything toward predictability:

- They make a good move last year of allowing contestants to use instruments, but then don't allow the instruments the last three episodes. This dooms a couple of the contestants and make things generally less interesting. When the instruments are not used the judges wish they would, but if a contestant uses and instrument too often, that wonder how that person would do just singing. Particularly strange given last year's winner.

- The judges tell each contestant to show their personality, but they tell Jorge to tone down his accent?

- The judges want the contestant to be young and sing current songs, but singing current songs is a clear risk. Either the judges don't recognize the song and don't react well or the performer gets punished in the voting.

- Picking Tatiana over Norman. Neither has a chance, but at least Norman would give one more truly entertaining and unpredictable performance. Tatiana being mediocre then crying is a given.

Tatiana can sing, but I think they are basically using her like the mental misfits they usually make fun of during auditions. Except now, they have one who can sing a little, and they are going to milk her Hate Factor, drama, and meltdown potential one more time. On the heels of that chick killing herself outside of Paula's house, this is a pretty ballsy move. She seriously seems that unstable. But maybe she's just an actress, who knows.

I don't get the no instruments thing either, especially since they are going to be allowing them at the next stage. I can only assume they wnated to make certain people less appealing without their instruments, not to mention being backed up by what sounds like a group of teenagers on Fisher Price toy instruments. I think my parents gave me that keyboard when I was 7 (or at least one that sounds just like it).

The main thing is that they've put the 3 people who had the most face time and were the most popular at the end (the pimp spot) of each show. As if they needed the help. And then the last 2 weeks, they passed up a chance for real drama at the end to make sure they gave Adam and Danny the chance to sing one more time. Everybody and their mother knew Lil Rounds would get the pimp spot this week. It's so obvious what they are doing that it's bordering on insulting.

The other thing I'm getting tired of hearing about from the judges is poor song choice. The contestants are basically under a gag order, so none of them can say anything about the process, but every year we hear from former contestants who confirm the typical set up. This is from Jason Yeager, who I believe went home the first week last year in the top 24:



So yeah, it's not hard to fathom, with all of the manipulation going on, that they purposely screw certain people over by giving them shit songs to choose from, and then pick the worst one for them to do. And then they go on national TV and get publicly embarrassed for not having brains enough to pick the right song.

Wild Card Show - 3/5/09

Tenacity…second chances…”Simon, be quiet!” We’re five seconds in and Seacrest is already off script. There’s the top 9. The judges will pick the last three contestants. Why?

Well, it’s like this: in the past, the viewing public has picked people like Sanjaya Malakar, Kristy Lee Cook, and Mikaylah Gordon. The judges are here to ensure that at least 25% of their “cast” will not be made up of people that VFTW will embrace. (Of course, one could ask why, if that’s the case, they brought Tatiana back for more face time.)

Jesse Langseth, the surprise pick of the wild cards, leads off with “Tell Me Something Good.” I can’t see Randy liking this, or Simon even recognizing it. It’s a much better choice than her last attempt, but she can’t quite bring the sexy the song requires. It’s better, but still a little weird. Randy gives her props for an interesting choice, but he says “I don’t know if you sung it that well.” Kara mentions the off notes, but notes her “swagger,” and calls her “Sasha Fierce”. It is just me, or does every attempt by Kara to sound current come off as forced? Paula is impressed by her tenacity (look, Paula learned a new word during the open!) and her “whole unique thing.” Simon thinks it was a “lot better than last time, but it was slightly indulgent.” The female judges disagree vehemently. At any rate, Jesse’s not going to win with this one. B-.

Matt Giraud won’t be doing Coldplay tonight. I’m guessing white boy does black r&b, and I’m close: “Who’s Loving You?” by the Jackson Five. While I will admit I’m never a fan of this type of stuff (see also: Elliott Yamin, Chris Richardson), he does it pretty well, kind of a Jason Mraz lite, if you will. He goes full boy band appearance and camps it up. At least three of the judges and half of the country will love this. Kara: “wow…brought back the bluesy Matt.” Paula: “right zone for you…don’t go against what you’re great at.” (Simon: “he didn’t.”) Paula tries to recover, but Simon wins as usual. Simon: “a billion times better…but a bit of Taylor Hicks coming through,” (He still hasn’t forgiven us for that.) Randy says he’s “made everyone in this place scared…that was hot.” Matt’s got a shot. B+.

The judges have been trying to sell Megan Joy Cookrey to us for several weeks. She siongs “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree”, which Katharine McPhee performed right after its release. Megan has some kind of spastic stage move going on, while never venturing away from the mic. While I like this song (and her), this is way, way too affected for me. The notes are all over the place, and you can’t really tell if she can sing. But she’s different! Quirky! I predict the judges will still bring her back. Paula says “the song fits you.” Simon still likes her, because she’s “current…original, quirky..not the best vocal, but terrific.” Randy could see her “making this type of record.” Kara claims that “America needs someone like you.” She’ll make it, but that was a C performance at best.

Von Smith has the misfortune of being judged against Matt and Anoop tonight. He needs a “moment” just to advance tonight. Elton John again? “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word”. He starts out too high, and never finds his way back to the melody. What do I gotta do? Sing better. After that performance, “Goodbye” seems to be the easiest word. Simon “loves that song, but you didn’t start well…a bit boring…sounded quite ordinary.” Randy thought it a “little but serious…couldn’t find pitch.” Kara “wasn’t crazy about the song choice…kind of dark.” Paula advises him on technique, which is kind of like getting acting advice from Keanu Reeves: “you were too concerned with the technical aspects…you have to count on the fact that you’re a brilliant singer.” He agrees that he overthinks things, which is kind of sad, when you consider he’s going to have a long time to think about this one. C-.

Jasmine Murray has been anointed from day one – all she has to do is not fall on her face tonight. “Reflection” (Christina Aguilera) is her choice. It’s a decent job, a bit shrill at times, but the workmanlike performance she needs to advance. Randy thinks she is “100% improved” but calls her out on “some flat and sharp moments.” Kara is confused, having labeled Jasmine as pop, and “then this huge voice came out of nowhere.” Paula calls her “lovely” and “determined” and gives her a “wonderful job.” Simon says Paula didn’t go far enough: “You’re not giving her enough credit…it was a very brave choice…I think you put yourself back in.” Paula snaps at Simon, but no one cares. Jasmine will advance, as we all knew from the first audition. A B from me.

RickyBraddy finishes thanking the eight pound, six ounce baby Jesus, and tries to out-Matt Matt with his rendition of “Superstition.” No, no, no. Stevie Wonder is iconic, and you have to hit this out of the park if you want to advance. At best, it’s a broken bat single. The crowd disagrees with me strongly – they love it, despite the constant overdoing of several notes. Kara: “You can sing your butt off! Tonight was about showing your personality.” Paula “loves the way you loosened up…you nailed it.” Um, Hearing Check, Aisle 4, please. Simon hears it differently: “a bit karaoke, lightweight, a bit clumsy.” (I think Ricky showed more Taylor than Matt, myself.) Randy says “you can really blow, but that song wasn’t quite right.” In another year, he’d have a chance, but Anoop will have to fail miserably not to beat this. No Applebees celebration for you, RickyBraddy. C.

Can I just skip this one? Please? Oh, OK…

Tatiana del Toro (fittingly, “Of the bull”) loves me, loves you, loves the judges, America, her momma, Jesus, Puerto Rico, herself, singing, music, and everyone and everything else. She sings “Saving All My Love for You” for the third time. This can’t a smart move, when you consider it wasn’t good enough last time for her to advance. Honestly, it’s pretty good, even if you think she’s singing it to herself. And what’s with the accent all of a sudden? I want her to suck in two languages, but it’s an OK job. Not enough to advance, but a solid B effort. Paula and Tatiana fawn all over each other for an hour. Paula thinks she started shaky, then found her “frickin’ power voice.” Simon asks why that song, again? Tatiana says it was the best song for her. Simon: “Rubbish.” And her fate is sealed. Randy says she “started rough” and notes her “mixed bag of tricks.” Kara astutely mentions “your new personality today.” They can’t put her through, but Tatiana is the type that may show up later in your house, boiling your pet bunny. Tell her no, and call Security.

Anoop Desai is last, which can only be good news. He will do “My Prerogative”, risky since he’s done it once before. He pretty much has the crowd eating from his hand. From beginning to end, he lets it all hang out, and it works. If he doesn’t screw up, I tag him as a top five prospect. Simon cracks up when the judges are shown. The crowd is still cheering. Could be bad for Matt, who has been the best of the guys so far, Simon: “this has been a very strange night…you’re like an enthusiastic dog…not the best singer, but people really like you.” Randy: “better this time.” Kara wanted to dance. Anoop notes the Duke/UNC rivalry and takes the compliment. Paula: “you are the showman…you were whipping out moves that were nasty…everyone loved it.” To me, it’s the best of the night. A-.

Results…Jasmine is first, and Randy confirms what we already know. RickyBraddy – gone. No more Talladega Nights jokes for me. Megan and Tatiana are next. Paula is the only one that can relate to Tatiana’s brand of crazy, so she has to deliver the news. “This is a platform, it’s not over for either of you.” Megan is in.

Tatiana melts down, falling on her knees in front of the judges. This goes on for an eternity…Paula and Kara tell her not to give up, as she can have a future in singing and acting. Somewhere off camera Megan is thinking “Isn’t this supposed to be MY moment?” For anyone that used Tivo tonight, THIS is why the show ran long. Another reason to hate Tatiana.

Von Smith, the only male to perform badly tonight, is out. Which leaves one spot for Matt and Anoop. Objectively, I immediately pick Anoop. Looking at it through America’s eyes, I get nervous, because Matt is the type the public wants – we see one guy like him every year. They never win, but they always finish higher than expected. And so, with one spot left…they both get in? We have a top 13 instead of 12. No triskadekaphobics among these judges, I guess.

And strangely, finally, we’re down to the last 13 contestants. Predictions: lame theme weeks, appearances by Norman (he should perform a duet as himself and his character!) and Tatiana in the finale. Randy will say “dude” at least four thousand times, I’ll agree with Simon about 75% of the time, and Kara and Paula will continue to fight for air time. I predict Danny Gokey will make the top 3, if not win it all. Scott MacIntyre will be no lower than fifth. Megan and Allison will both advance during a week in which we think they shouldn’t. Ryan and Simon may finally make out…but not on national TV.

Predictions!

Bottom four five (all in no order):

Kris Allen - Liked his "Man In A Mirror", but he's bland and will likely lose lots of votes to Danny, Matt, and Anoop.

Anoop Desai - Anoop is a tough call. I can't decide if his college a cappella group background will doom him to bad song choices and blandness or help him with performing experience and connecting with audiences. His first KO performance was blander than bland, but "My Prerogative" was energetic. Could easily switch between him and Adam Lambert. Enough with the "Anoop Dog" though, Randy.

Jasmine Murray - Showed some voice in her last performance but is the weakest combination of voice and distinctiveness among the women. Also a teen with minimal experience of this type.

Jorge Nuñez - If he listens to the idiot judges and tries to avoid his accent and background, he won't be long for the show. However, if he embraces his background and goes after the Latin/Hispanic vote he could easily make the middle 4.

Michael Sarver - Weakest of the top 13 and should not even be here. Unfortunately as the only country performer he could sneak into the middle 4 on the red state vote. I suggest he show some skin and sing "God Bless The USA" at the first opportunity.

Middle four:

Alexis Grace - If she continues with performances like her last one she will make the top 4. However I don't see a stay at home Mom with little experience maintaining consistency. I foresee song selection, image creation problems in her future. A surprise flameout is a possibility.

Megan Joy Corkrey - I don't get the judges love for her. When she does her patented hip wiggle dance I wish I was Scott MacIntyre. She can't make up her mind about her last name for Christ sakes. However, with only 5 women in the show I think she'll get to the top 8 to maintain a 4/4 balance. And the similar Brooke White made it to the final five last year, so who knows. Learn from Carly's experience and wear sleeves.

Adam Lambert - Wasn't satisfied with his Stones number. People with musical theater backgrounds usually don't do well. But he's a judges/producers favorite with a look that stands out.

Scott MacIntyre - Wasn't thrilled with his last perfomance. Producers tried to screw him by not letting him go behind a piano, hopefully he'll get better. For better or worse his blindness makes him unique and gives people a reason to vote for him. Side bets on first week he pulls out a Stevie Wonder song. Stevie has a big food budget these days and needs the residuals. Maybe he'll come on the show as a mentor and give advice on the best area buffets.

Top four:

Matt Girauld - Even though he was a wild card he's my final four dark horse. The dude makes a living as a dueling piano singer -- that's a tough gig and gives him experience with audiences and song selection that many of the competitors will have problems with. Keep the scarf.

Danny Gokey - Guy favorite until proven otherwise. His experience as a music director should theoretically give him an advantage when picking and arranging songs, a skill that enabled David Cook to win last year. Did you know his wife passed away just before the tryouts?

Allison Iraheta - Each year one teenager goes a long way. She has a big voice and will probably get Jordin Sparks comparisons throughout the competition. She won a Telemundo competition and recording contract before, so she's a proven winner. Idol stylists need to put in some effort, though.

Lil Rounds - Clear favorite to win until proven otherwise. Hard to go wire to wire as a favorite, though.

Ryan was mostly appalled because a girl answered. Particularly funny because the last number is for the pimp spot and the number most likely to get the highest volume. Hey, "pimp spot" and "nasty girl", it actually works.

American Idol – 3/10/09 – The Round of 13

Seacrest looks grown up for once, Randy is an aging hipster in his Members Only jacket, and the judges get the “big voice” intro. Paula can barely walk in her dress, which looks like something Bjork rejected before attending the Oscars. The intro cracks Simon and Ryan up – you can tell their friendship is built around puncturing each other’s ego.

Big stage! Big intro! 500 fans! Big advice? Not so much. Randy: “Bring it hard…everybody can win.” Kara: “We have to be tougher…our job is to make sure they’re the best.” (Or at least “commercial”, right, Kara?) Paula: “don’t let the stage consume you.” Simon: “They can’t forget the words…they have to prove they’re not swallowed up by the stage.” Simon parroting Paula? Is this Bizarro World?

We have 13 finalists – but two of them will leave tomorrow. They hint at some new twist in eliminations – I’m guessing they’re going to pick one to stay or leave, and the fans choice will be the other. Either that, or they’re finally going to admit they influence the choices. At any rate, tonight’s theme, laughably, is Michael Jackson. For years we’ve heard the judges tell contestants that Michael is untouchable, that he shouldn’t be sung, no one can do him properly.

We get the obligatory Michael montage: from cute boy singer to the Afro to black man with attitude to Diana Ross to white woman. No mention of Macaulay Culkin or Lisa Marie Presley, though.

Lil Rounds starts it off with “The Way You Make Me Feel.” It’s half Fantasia, half LaToya London – she’s a better singer than Fantasia, and not quite as proud as LaToya. It’s technically a decent job, but it doesn’t wow me the way I expected to be. Randy proclaims that Season 8 has just started (again), and says she gave the song “a whole new spin”. Kara: “Everybody’s like ‘uh oh’…I hope we get to hear you on the radio.” Paula calls her a “force to be reckoned with.” Simon says “it was good, but a bit disappointing, lazy song choice.” Simon comments on her outfit, which draws rage from the female judges. Simon says “give me five minutes with Lil,” which brings forth the usual innuendo, and chaos. Lil will get through, but methinks she is coasting for awhile.

Ryan mentions the “special number” for contestant 13. Do NOT dial 866-IDOLS-13, or you may hear a word that is similar to “election”, but with a completely different meaning. Oh, and itunes is still here.

Did you know Scott McIntyre is blind? Me neither. He’s at the piano, which America seemingly has been begging for. “Keep the Faith”? I don’t remember this song, but Scott is doing the Archuleta thing, focusing on lyrics, and idealistic ideas – if we keep the faith, we can do anything, and it’s true we make a better day, just you and me, don’t worry, be happy…or something like that. It’s a great choice of song for him, because everyone so desperately wants him to make the top 5, even if his vocals are strictly average. Kara asks if he learned that song this week (like everyone else in the competition), and praises him for “being true to himself.” Paula claims it “was magical seeing your instrument,” and thinks Syeeda Garrett, who wrote the song, would be pleased. And lo and behold, there she is! Simon “hated the song, no one knows it.” Scott says he was trying to be artistic, and Simon snaps back: “It’s fine to be artistic, just not on this show.” And there’s the rub, America. No matter how we vote, the winner will fit into a certain mold. And if that mold doesn’t fit the preconceived ideas that 19 Entertainment has, they can’t win. See also: Jason Castro, Daughtry, Chris Sligh.

Randy thought the “song was cool, and the performance was very good, but safe.” He’s safe, although a bottom four isn’t out of the question (although I think he’s a few weeks away from his first scare.) Scott is like that guy from the old “Afterschool Specials” – we all root for him to do well, but reality eventually sets in.

Danny Gokey, who hasn’t sung in like a month, will do “P.Y.T.” from the Thriller album. He throws in a slow intro, then fires into a somewhat updated arrangement. He plays to the crowd, and the female judges, who love it. And although I’m somewhat tired of him already, it works – he nails it. The crowd goes nuts. Paula is ready: “the trademark of an artist is when you close your eyes and know who it is” (like when you heard “Cold-Hearted Snake” for the first time, Paula?), and she proclaims him on his way to the finale. Well, then, let’s cancel the next 10 weeks. Simon thought his “vocals were brilliant, like a Michael McDonald, but the dancing was hideous.” Randy “looks for a different side every week,” and “loved it all.” Kara notes his “joyful, joyous, joy” while on stage. Safer than buying Microsoft at 8.

Michael Sarver goes understated with “You’re Not Alone”. I’d guess he’s lost about 15 pounds since we last saw him. He starts out sitting down, and does a pretty decent job with it, although I fear he’ll get lost in the shuffle. Simon notes “you’re not the best singer in this competition, but you made up for it with passion and heart.” Kara says he “showed he really can sing” (well, I should HOPE so – you said he was one of the 13 best of over 100,000!) and “thought it was a great job.” Randy thinks he was “one of the best tonight so far.” Paula: “likable, you’re a regular guy with extraordinary talent, and picked a song that was ‘instinctually’ perfect.” Pardon me while I check the dictionary for “instinctually”. Audience shot of his daughter, wearing a T-shirt that says “Vote 4 My Daddy.” Hope it works, because he could go home too soon.

Jasmine Murray chats with Ryan about stylists and shopping (Kara is insanely jealous of the shopping talk). Um, you got coached on style and still came up with that dress? My first prediction of the night comes true: I said either she or Lil would do the Mariah Carey take on “I’ll Be There”. And if anyone should be told tonight they made a “safe” choice, this is the one. It’s OK – she wisely leaves out the Mariah vocal runs, and doesn’t overdo it, but it’s nothing special by any means. Randy name drops Mariah, and says Jasmine “mixed the two versions together…pretty good job.” Kara critiques her singing, saying “half a note down would have been perfect”, but compliments her “stage presence.” Paula likes her “tremendous poise”, but the singing was “under at times, brilliant at times.” Simon says it was a “good attempt”, notes her “nice control at the end”, but calls it “a little bit robotic at times.” She may get a scare tonight, but she’ll be safe.

Kris Allen has been married for five months. Can you imagine planning a wedding with this show in the background? Yikes. He has a guitar strapped on for “Remember the Time”, and you know what? He’s been a little under the radar up til now, but he does a great job with this. He’s what Matt Giraud should be, and what Von Smith couldn’t do. Again, if a singer can make me like his version of a song I don’t care for, he’s got “it”. Kara tells him “the girls loved that…when you play guitar, it helps performance wise.” She also says he helped other contestants learn their songs this week. Paula likes that, claiming “no one knows the Michael Jackson catalog better than you…engaging, adorable, sexy.” Simon unpins her dress strap? He’d better watch it, or we’ll have another Janet Jackson incident. Simon thought Kris “interesting, a bit clumsy”, and says “I would have waited a few weeks before bringing the wife out,” which immediately gets taken the wrong way by almost everyone. I get it – he thinks if the girls don’t know Kris is married, it would help his votes. Randy calls him “actually kind of cool, Jason Mraz-y.” He should be safe, and to me, could make a run, perhaps to 4th or so.

Allison Iraheta is this year’s rocker. She sings “Give In to Me”, and I don’t want to know who Michael was originally talking to. The rock-edged performance works for me, but I’ll bet she’s in the bottom half of the voting this week. Paula notes her age again: “at 16…mind-boggling, poised, rock star…keep doing what you’re doing.” Simon tells her that it was a “good performance…we know who you are…but lighten up a little.” Randy: “if you got it, you just got it…I think you can sing anything…one to watch.” Kara says she distinguished herself by being a rocker. Safe, and could end up being this year’s early shocker, or she could finish 3rd…it’s hard to tell yet.

Anoop Desai takes on one of the songs no one should touch with “Beat It.” Dude. I’ve been an Anoop fan from his first audition, but this is just wrong. There are some bad notes, but mostly, it’s just too thin of a vocal, with no attitude…I predict at least two mentions of the word “karaoke”. Paula calls the song “untouchable” and labels it “karaoke” – this may be the harshest I’ve ever heard her. Simon tears into him: “thought it was horrible…no aggression, stupid, tried to be like Michael Jackson but failed.” Randy calls it the wrong choice and tells him “you got more than that.” Kara agrees, and tells Anoop that “for the first time, I felt disconnected.” Ryan asks Simon about it, and Cowell says that based on tonight, he regrets going to 13 finalists. He’s already had a couple of second chances, and barring shenanigans by the judges, he’s going home.

Ryan’s in the audience with his mother and grandma? Nana likes Randy, but Ryan tells her he’s married.

Jorge Nunez should be singing “She’s Out Of My Life” – I said this as soon as I found out about the theme. But no, Captain Eyebrows goes with “Never Can Say Goodbye”, a schmaltzy, boring ballad. It’s strictly OK, and he misses several notes. In another season, he might get by on this, but he’s in trouble tomorrow. Randy calls it “old-fashioned” and notes “a couple pitch points” (Randy said “pitch”…drink). Kara felt no emotional connection. Paula doesn’t feel “you were yourself.” Jorge tries to explain why he wouldn’t sing “Bad” for roughly twenty minutes, and Simon finally tells him he was “corny, out of your depth”, and notes the “awful arrangement.” Definite bottom four, probably done.

Megan Corkrey is a single mom. Her version of “Rockin’ Robin” sounds dated, but I actually think it’s the right choice for her, because it’s the first song in three weeks that she actually sings, rather than going with affected vocals in trying to imitate the original. It’s not a winning rendition, but it’s not as bad as a lot of people will say it is. Kara obviously wants her in: “You have a way of putting your signature on everything you touch” and talks of future weeks. Paula chooses the word of the night: “disconnected”, because she loves the “quirky and unique” Megan. Simon blasts it: “What a stupid song choice…the vocals weren’t good, and the dancing was awful.” Randy: “The song choice didn’t allow you to be Megan.” What does Gordon Ramsey think? We’ll never know, because he isn’t miked. It wouldn’t matter unless Megan can cook risotto, anyway. She should be safe, but I’ll bet she gets a scare tonight.

Adam Glambert will take the risk with “Black or White”. It’s a good performance, and he nails the toughest part of the song. No one else in the top 13 could even think of trying this, and honestly, they shouldn’t. The audience is out of their minds over this one. Paula tells him “to take it all in…wow. In eight seasons, we’ve never had someone so comfortable on stage…got the whole package.” She then proclaims him a finalist. According to Paula, we can skip ahead to the final two: Danny and Adam. Simon loved it as well: “to me, you’re in a different league…to make Michael Jackson work, you have to be over the top and comfortable.” Randy says he’s been “the most current since day 1, I love who you are and what you do.” Kara “hopes Michael Jackson is watching tonight.” Dunno, Kara, probably depends on what Nickelodeon is showing tonight. He’s safe for at least a month.

Matt Giraud is at the piano. Given his job, I want to shout “American Pie!” but he will do “Human Nature”, another of the hits from Thriller. It’s alright, but he has some problems with the higher notes. Doesn’t matter to the judges, who proclaim him this year’s Timberfake. Randy: “really good performance, the whole Justin Timberlake thing.” Kara says he’s talented, and hopes to see him in future weeks. Paula: “talented, sexy, authentic” (we’re running low on time, and it’s obvious). Simon: “very good, difficult following Adam.” Should be safe, could be scared.

Alexis Grace gets the coveted final spot. Her black, very short outfit reveals she’s taken the judges instructions to “dirty it up” seriously. Huh…I didn’t know her dad was Arlo Guthrie. She goes out on a limb with “Dirty Diana”, and it’s pretty good, but not overly memorable. Kara says “you’re a naughty girl, and I liked it.” Paula tells her to watch the oversinging. Simon aptly tells her it wasn’t “as good you thought.” Randy “liked it, didn’t love it.” Alexis’ number is 866-IDOLS-36, because #13 was already taken by a number that would charge you $3.99 for the first minute, and $2.99 for each additional minute, or so I’m told. She’ll be safe.

Should go home: Anoop, Jorge

Will go home: Anoop, Jorge (there’s only five girls in the 13 – none are leaving yet)

Should be bottom four: Anoop, Jorge, Jasmine, Megan

Could get scared: Michael, Allison, Matt

Could get the early, undeserved boot: Michael

Tomorrow night: Kelly Clarkson, Kanye, the “twist” revealed, and the judges’ power to manipulate the results will increase. Oh, and a new exit song that I’m already laughing about.

American Idol Results Show – 3/11/09

33 million votes. A shot of the 13. Kanye West and Kelly Clarkson will perform. Anyone else getting tired of Randy booing Simon when the judges are introduced? Dioguardi is Italian for “I have nothing to add”, I think. Paula may fall out of that dress if she isn’t careful.

And the twist we’ve been hearing about: Each judge will have veto power if they think a person who has been sent home should stay on the show. The confusing explanation is something like this: Every week, they will eliminate someone. If a judge feels they should stay, they exercise their veto (one per season). If the other three judges agree, they are back in, and then two will be eliminated the following week. Their reasoning (and they admit to it) is that people like Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry, Michael Johns, and Tamyra Grey all went home too early. It’s a bit weird, and it still gives the judges more control than they need, so we’ll see. Who’s going to explain the rule to Paula every week?

This year the finalists are staying in a mansion. Game rooms, swimming pools, the works. I’m sure the owners will love the shots of Jasmine and Allison jumping on their beds.

Here’s the obligatory medley – all Jackson Five songs. I was hoping for “Thriller”, complete with lizard dance steps. How is it that Michael Sarver has even worse dance moves than Scott McIntyre? The medley looks lip synced to me. Wondering if “I Want You Back” is symbolic of the judges’ decisions tonight…I can just hear Anoop singing “Ooh, baby, give me one more chance…”

Recap. Seacrest attempting to man up by calling the guys by their last names. The kids have been up late at night and up early for rehearsals. Sarver says he enjoyed the Ford video…nice lead in with an obviously scripted answer. The Corporate Bailout Auto Industry video is “We Will Rock You”, which is a promise most of these singers can’t keep. Idols are shown on the sides of buildings, the front of cars…and they cut off the best part of the song.

And now, some results. Michael is…safe. Allison – safe. Jasmine…to center stage. (If she’s out, that means Anoop will stay, which will make me happy.) Matt? Starts heading to center stage without being told, butt he’s also safe. Megan…not so much. Center stage for her as well. The judges liked both of these girls from the start…but I think Megan will stay – Lil can outdo anything Jasmine can dream of. And Jasmine is going home. She sings again, then the judges have their first veto option. Randy says no. She cries, Ryan consoles her, and the exit song is “Home Sweet Home”, performed by Carrie Underwood. I’m sorry, but Carrie singing Motley Crue is like having Brooke White sing Slayer.

Kanye West performs his hit “Tuneless”. The vocal effects a la Cher suck. He looks like P Diddy and John Mellencamp had a baby together. He stands on the judges’ table – hmm, where are the judges anyway? Was this pre-recorded?

More results. Scott is safe. Alexis is safe. Danny, and his forty pairs of glasses, is safe. Anoop doesn’t even wait for Ryan to tell him – he walks down to center stage. Glambert – safe. Which leaves Jorge and Lil. Jorge is on the chopping block. Who will go? We’ll find out after ten more minutes of filler.

Kelly Clarkson is back, and bigger than ever. Her new song is “My Life Would Suck Without You”. We can safely assume she isn’t singing to 19 Entertainment. Unlike most of the other Idols song, I actually kind of like this one.

Back to the results. Anoop and Jorge await their fate. And “Anoop Desai” must be Hindu for “dodged bullet” because he is again safe. Jorge sings “Never Can Say Goodbye” again…wanna bet on that? Simon is asked, and he refuses to grant the stay of execution. “Home Sweet Home” reprises over Jorge’s “journey.”

One would think Anoop is out of appeals. But I’m told next week is country week, which means he’s already got to make some tough choices. Alexis and Michael should be happy with the theme. And please, God, someone tell Lil NOT to sing Dolly Parton’s version of “I Will Always Love You.”

if Adam wins I will try to never watch Idol again-god I hate this emo ethel merman with a passion

"Emo Ethel Merman"?!?!?

I may steal that one.

Lucy: Beethoven... HA! Everyone talks about how great Beethoven was. Beethoven wasn't so great!
Schroeder: What do you mean, Beethoven wasn't so great?
Lucy: He never got his picture on bubble gum cards, did he? Have you ever seen Beethoven's picture on a bubble gum card? Hmm? How can you say someone is great who's never had his picture on a bubble gum card? THAT'S what I mean when I say Beethoven wasn't so great!

He's absolutely brilliant.

You say 'emo' like it's a diss, when you've named yourself after a particularly high school emo album.

I like Adam, but I'd much rather hear him belting out metal songs. There is NO WAY he will have a post-Idol career like they want the winner to have. I could see him getting a "shocking" elimination in the top 5, though.

I'm in Phoenix, so I guess I'm on a 3-hour Idol delay tonight. Not sure I want to hear these people singing GOO songs...

The judges can't get enough of her and she's Vote For The Worst's favorite. WTF?

AI loves her because they think by telling everyone she's their version of that crack whore, they'll manufacture her as a "relevant" and "now" artist. Nevermind that she sounds hopelessly dated to me. Granted, I've never heard Amy Winehouse, so maybe that's her schtick, but Megan sounds like she could be from the 40s.

I think she's VFTW's choice because, let's face it, there isn't an Overmeyer or Sanjaya among these contestants.

Oh I think she is easily the worst of the bunch and am with VFTW to see this train wreck continue as long as possible. I'm just boggled by the universal free pass she's getting from the judges. Zero credibility.

Also I don't think think that picture quite captures her whacked out vibe, but it would be much better if they bothered to give it the arm tattoo.

And why have a country night if the contestants almost universally sing outside the genre and the judges don't call them out for it?

There I go again, expecting this show to be consistent and honest. What a goof.

I like:

Lil Rounds, Danny, Alexis, Anoop and Allison.

Can't stand:

Alan Lambert and I hate the "hiccup" in Megan's voice. It bugs me.

The rest are just meh to me.

I hate when they have theme weeks but then blast the contestants for stupid crap. . Tonight Randy and Kara said Lil Rounds should have sung "I Will Always Love You" because it was written and performed by Dolly Parton. Now if she had done that one that would have been tooo damn obvious and two they would have slammed her for not stepping out of her R&B comfort zone and showing versatility. Ugh! They are so full of crap. They give her and Alexis grief for trying to show range but every week Adam gets to shriek like a wounded cat while looking like some reject from a Panic At The Disco cover band. Whatthefuckever.

I love that the judges almost wet themselves at Adam's version of "Ring Of Fire". Yeah he's so original that he did the EXACT same arrangement that crazy Dilana did on Rockstar: Supernova.

When that one chick sang "Jolene", I craved hearing The White Stripes version immediately.