Hypothetically your not married, which of the following would you choose:

CHOICE #1 - a blow job from angelina jolie

CHOICE #2 - The option to do whatever you wanted to Scarlett Johanson sexually and she'd love every minute of it.

Which way would you go?

good thread.

Oh shit...Choice number 2 because it would be a longer experience. I'd blow a load in Jolie's mouth after about two pumps from her succulent lips.

Easy choice...#2. Go out and rent the Island. Pretty shitty movie so you may want to mute it....but Scarlett looks better than she ever has in that flick.

Is it picture time?

this thread is making me queasy.

and it has nothing to do with choice #1 or #2.

Sexy Sexy Sexy
http://www.fhmus.com/girls_100_sexiest.asp..._id=1&stn_id=72

I just want to show off my new signature

I knew this thread would be useful for something.

Man, this is a cool thread.

#2, no contest.

I wish that Scarlett Johanssen could've been in my tenth grade algebra class or something.

I'd say the same thing, only I know I would be too much of a pimply pussy to do anything about it.
At least now if I saw her somewhere I'd have the confidence and audacity to actually try to put it in her.
Not right away, of course....

Just to get the girl of my dreams a bit o'space:

NO TOUCHING!

I'd drink this bitch's bathwater.

reading that just made it move.

I'm pretty sure I'll never be a secure enough person to have any sort of sexual contact with someone as hot as Scarlett Johanssen. The pressure would just be to great. The only way I could fuck someone like Scarlett is if I was positively guaranteed that they had absolutely no expectations (or even any hopes) of sexual self-satisfaction during the experience, but would still find the experience a worthwhile one. I have pored this over and come to the conclusion that this would only happen under two possible sets of circumstances:

1. If I had enough money to pay Scarlett for her services that not only would the self-sacrifice involved on her part be utterly negligible, but I wouldn't feel the slightest bit guilty for doing it. The amount of money I would be forking over for her body would be so immense that morality wouldn't even enter into it, the saintliness of my actions could not possibly be questionable. I estimate this amount to be somewhere around $60,000,000,000,000.00.

2. If I had just saved her entire home village from lava from a nearby volcano at great personal expense (at least one limb lost, probably some skin elsewhere), and she personally felt that the only way to properly thank me for my sacrifice would be waiting for me in the top bunk of my dorm room when I went to sleep one school night (preferably in the outfit pictured above).

Since I doubt I will ever have such a high dollar amount at my disposal and since Scarlett's home town probably doesn't border any volcanos, my chances of having sex with her are admittedly pretty slim.

However, having a girl like Scarlett in my tenth grade algebra class would have close to a 100% chance of positive consequences. She would dress casually, not calling overt attention to herself but making herself plenty noticable. Chances are she probably wouldn't raise her hand much in class, but when she was called on she'd always be paying enough attention to say something smart, and her soft but stately voice would be a welcome respite from my teacher's gravely, southern-inflected drawl. Considering that our last names are roughly half an alphabet apart, I most likely would've been placed far enough from her to be allowed short periods of staring without being noticed, but not so far that the view would be tainted or obstructed. We probably wouldn't have talked much, but we would've probably been put in the same group once or twice for working on assignment, and working with her would be pretty nice. Not to mention that my tenth grade algebra class was nothing to write home about. I could've used a distraction or two.



At a ten-year anniversary, Scarlett and I could fondly reminisce about the time Mr. Gaerig told Mike Nechemia to "take that gay thing off [his] head," or that time the substitute teacher watched helplessly as the class turned into a paper-throwing free-for-all. It'd be something.

Some would say that long post was madness.

just sayin'

Others would say that someone who has been known to post equally long things on The Simpsons, (which is totally understandable), shouldn't be ones to talk.

I liked this girl more before she became everyone's fantasy. That brief period right before Lost In Translation came out and her stock was still low enough to buy into. Now she's rapidly approaching Anjolina Jolie-like overexposure. Hopefully she never reaches AJ-like levels of boring sluttiness.

I fell in love the second she walked on screen in Ghost World. I saw her first; she's mine.

both are deserving of my cream but damnit..i want them to fight over me. in a pool of warm baby oil mind you.

any discomfort i felt toward the beginning of this thread has rapidly morphed to pity.

good job, bill.

I would say you didn't get the joke.

I know you didn't ask me, but god-- this is like asking if I want a dune buggy or a Corvette, a Big Mac or a filet mignon...it's no contest.



GDB should not post ANYTHING MORE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.
EDIT: oops, you killed it, Bill.

I knew you'd understand, Pup.



I always post with doing this in mind, but I can't resist. I'm only human, of flesh and blood, I'm made.

Yeah, that was an unstoppable post.

Dr. Bill could easily win SOMB madness if he tried, but he's not even taking it that seriously, the man is clearly some sort of lobster like creature.

This thread is way better than I had hoped.

I kind of had reservations about looking at a thread that actually solicited Hickman's advice about anything, but couldn't resist once it reached the two page mark.

Thanks for making it worth while, Mr. Mitchell.

I think I was confused by the face. The wink suggests playful sarcasm, but the odd mouth suggests cynicism.

Yeah our winky face had a stroke.

wrong 'em boyo. i saw 'er in that black 'n' white coen bros. film w/ billy bob. THEN i saw 'er in ghost world

and i'd take her over angelina. but neither would be one of my six girlfriends if i was hugh hefner...actually, i've been thinking about that and i feel a little guilty about putting a pornstar on my list. so i'd probably replace jenna jamison with scarlett or jessica biel

Do you know how difficult it would be to climb into the top bunk with three (or less) limbs?

touche

Well I was testing bhicky's obsession with Jolie.

This thread reads like a running advertisement for the FLESHLIGHT!

I have to admit, the "Mocha Butt" looks like a fun way to pass the time...

Ghost World...... August 3rd.
The Man Who Wasn't There....... November 2nd.

no shit? oh well. if you watch 'em both it seems like TMWWT would've been made first. she seems a bit younger (and unknown) in that one

Her bits in The Man Who Wasn't There were filmed before Ghost World

i wanna see her bits

why the FUCK would you know that?

nevermind

The Jai-Alai Savant - "Scarlett Johansen, Why Don't You Love Me"