Oh, and I hope everything turns out okay, Coolrock.

And if it doesn't... well. Write a book before it's too late.

I am saddened to hear this news, CR. I don't think I can do much but to repeat the words expressed in the above from all of us....I would add that sometimes we do forget that we are dealing with human beings here in spite of all the time that we fuck around on the board, so when the real world creeps in, it sends a shockwave and reminds us all how to be compassionate. Keep faith in survival, my friend.

This just makes me push myself harder to get checked out more often...3 of my relatives have gone through various forms of skin cancer in the past 3 years...so I'm starting to check my little bodily moles and blemishes MORE.

I thought you fucking left?

Probably shoulda read this before I PM'ed velocity suggesting we fake my death.

There is no measuring the suckitude of this moment.

Thanks for all the kind words and support, yuzall. I'm going to see the oncologist on Tuesday so will hopefully have a better feel for what my options are (death w/chemo or death without, I suspect). Meanwhile, I don't feel like a guy with cancer, save for an occaisonal abdominal twang, and, boy, people are really nice to you when they find out you're kind of, like, doomed----Mrs. Coolrock has been like the wife I always dreamed of, especially last night---hubbahubba, and I got a really yummy hug from the one super-milfy smoldering client that I'd like to administer the , uh, nine-inch to, if I wanted to be unfaithful, which I don't , but still. I'm gonna milk the hell outta this thing. A few more days and you'll be wishing I would just hurry up and die already.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation Coolrock, you're one of the better posters on the board and I feel your pain. I am at high risk for getting cancer of the esophagus, so I have to get an upper enoscopy every couple of years or so. I highly doubt if I'll live long enough to see 70.

whatcha trying ta do? make him prove it. anti-departures always get things going don't they.

This world is so shitty. Now this.

Oh man, I hope you do write a book...I would buy it in a minute. You'd be the next Randy Pausch.

Wow. Great place to start a shit slinging.

Get better Cool Rock. You are one of the better posters around here for sure. I do not want to see you leave for good. Get well!

Good vibes sent from MN.

This was the thread I imagined creating when I found a lump on my neck that turned out to be a cyst.

Shitty news, man.

7:100 are pretty shitty odds, but asshole schmucks win the lottery every week. And while you are a schmuck, you're no asshole.

Lean on your family. Take strength from your kids. Show them love and give them your wisdom. Know that you have friends that are there for you -- real life friends and stupid internet friends. Internet or not, we're pulling for you and we're here for you if you need us.

Be well, God Dammit!

Sorry to hear this news coolrock --- you are a really gifted writer and storyteller -- I seem to remember you relating a story a while back in which there was praying to a saint and your daughter overcame some challenges she was having at that time ----my point?? remember that Blind Faith song "Presence of the Lord" --- "I have finally found a way to live, in the presence of the Lord" well, you know....

- I'm not trying to say you can't enjoy the rest of your life -- just try to find a way to live that is in harmony with God's will -- my understanding of Christian theology is that no matter what you have done in your life --(and not just you, but everyone) --because God's mercy is infinite you can be forgiven --just sincerely ask for forgiveness -- and spend eternity in what amounts to a feeling way better than the best coke rush you've ever had in your life; -- for every moment ----for all time.... think about that one for a minute....

It's probably not good theology to compare being with God as being way better than the best drug high ever, but you get my drift.... here's hoping and praying that you end up with the 7% survivors.

Here lies Coolrock

19??-20??

"On the plus side, Mrs. Coolrock will probably finally fuck me tonight."

I wish I had the computer skills to make this into a proper tombstone picture.

Great thread title, btw.

Sorry to read this. I guess the odds of having a song next to the mighty Cher are much much slimmer than a 7%.

I'm so sorry Coolrock. I'm praying for you, sir.

Here's hoping you find it...

What he said. Hearing this breaks my heart. You're a bright spot for hundreds of us who've never known you coolrock. If there's anything to collective goodwill you and yours are gonna get this through this thing ok -- whether you survive it or not. I'm rooting for you more than is probably conceivable for someone you've never met.

I'm sorry about your misfortune. What else is there to say? I myself have lead a fairly worthless life and don't have any wisdom to share with you in these uncertain times.

You were always one of the best dudes here. I bet you placed top 15 in the poll.

Upload some more music if you can.

GOD Bless u homie. i know u gon pull thru this ish and i wish i could say some real ish that didnt sound dumb but u in my prayers.

you'll make it.

Whoa.

Also. :/

But <3

Very sorry to hear this, coolrock. Enjoy and live every moment, especially with your family. You've certainly inspired me to do the same.

just reading all of this news now... you are in my thoughts.

why the fuck hasn't cancer been beaten yet?

Saw an online comic on this, in all seriousness, recently. The problem is that it's not a singular thing or an external attacker, but a variety of different mutations in one's own cells. Those mutations cause cells to do/not do a wide variety of different things they shouldn't normally do.

I barely know you and probably never talked with you, CR, but take as much heart as you can from the fact a total stranger on a message board is thinking about you. All the best, man.

In lieu of flowers, please PM canz.

Man, that's awful, but I wish you the best and with any luck at least a semi-full recovery.

Good luck Coolrock. While you've certainly accomplished most of the things that would be on regular people's bucket lists, I'm sure there are still things you want to do. (although I can't imagine what you haven't done yet...) I hope you have plenty of time to accomplish whatever it is you still want to do.
Make sure your doctor plays fast and loose with the prescription pad.
And really, you SHOULD write a book. I'm sure there are many more stories we haven't heard yet, all of them entertaining.

Wasn't it cocaine or heroine in that movie? ah never mind,,,you had the best of intentions there.

There are very few who have as entertaining or rewarding a style as yours, coolrock. Lurking the past 5 years, I've always enjoyed seeing your name next to a topic, knowing that there'd be some guaranteed wisdom and fun involved. No, we've never met, but I hope that you are able to get through this. I'll send a prayer your way, and all the best!

Coolrock you're in my thoughts and prayers. Godspeed.

How are you feeling today?

yes, how?

As I keep telling people, "I feel pretty good----for a guy with cancer." I'm going to see the onky-kong (oncologist) today, so I will know a bit more later about when I'll be doing the funky chicken with Mr. D.
For those of you looking for a book from me, thanks---I have four I'm going to re-write if I have time:

"Navajo White: Confessions of a Hollywood House-Painter" Book and screenplay, my ex-wife still has a note from former President Bill Pullman expressing his desire to play the lead. Takes place in the early eighties, new-wave LA; depraved celebrities,coke, sluts, rock and roll, brush and roll.

"Twelve-Steppin' Wolf" is about re-hab in the 90's; Dr. Drew is in it, but under a fake name. I spent a bit of time with the good doctor, and met some real characters, including demonic apparitions, while I was drying out.

"L.J.'s Turtle" , my middle-school kids' book, which is going to be the first out the door needing only minor revisions.
It has been rather well-received, and I think if I play the "cancer card", I might speed up the publication deal. No flies on this guy.

And, I've decided to write a journal that lapses into memoir every now and then, my obligatory, "Look at me--I'm dying!" book. You'll laugh, you'll cry. (probably at all the wrong parts) I will probably post some exerpts here. The working title is, "I'm Dying for You to Read This"

Gotta get busy.
Hey, you guys have been really wonderful---I never expected such an outpouring, it warms the cockles of my cobweb-filled heart. People have been really great; everybody wants to help. everybody's got a doctor, clinic, or quack-cure I should go to. Everybody wants me to beat this. I'm sorry I ever doubted Mrs. Coolrock's love for me; she's sorry for everything shitty she's ever done. She has re-discovered that cooking and fucking are not two cities in China. Even my bitter ex-wife sent a warm, encouraging note. Like I keep saying,
"If I knew people were going to be this nice, I would have got cancer years ago!"

Those sound like some great stories. You'll need to give us your nom de plume, or whatever they're being published under.
Keep us posted on the appointment.

This is a book I'd buy and read on the day it came out

Yeah, sorry to chime in late and all. But Coolrock is by far my favorite poster and I enjoy his posts most of the time, unlike most you assholes.

Hey! Us assholes enjoy his posts too!

I dunno, man. Those are both also really good potential titles for that book. Just sayin'.

I'm sorta worried this thread is gonna turn into a kind of blood sport. Albeit a much milder game than those that thrilled ancient commoners. Coolrock said it hisself, the SOMB has had casualties but none that have been documented as they go. Is everybody gonna post supportive things all the while being morbidly curious as to how and when Coolrock's posts come to a halt? You ain't planning on boarding right into oblivion are you, Coolrock?

Actually, I was hoping to give a daily report from Hell.


Eh, ya know, as long as I got the time and strength I will probably check in now and then. Actually, I got a lot more free time all of the sudden. Besides, this place is part of my morning ritual. I don't always post, but I skim it over every morning unless I'm traveling, no shit.

I went to the oncologist today. I liked him; seems like a mensch. I don't really feel like going through the whole thing; I'll just copy and paste part of an email I sent to some friends:


Onky Visit 5/19

Bad news:

I have pancreatic cancer, which has a horseshit recovery rate (about 5.5%).

It has moved into my liver, which is not good.

It is presently considered, (without a 2nd opinion, which I plan on getting) inoperable.

If nothing gets better, I have 9-12 months to live, so I'm having second thoughts about renewing my licence plates.


Good news:

Dr K believes that quality of life is first priority. I concur.

I'm going to start taking the chemo drugs in about a week, after investigating some alternative crapola, and taking a few days at a client's beach house in South Haven Michigan. It is medicines that are not particularly hard on the body, like not so much with the baldness, sunken eyes and puking; more like a little fatigue and a rash. He also said that if it isn't working, we'll just stop.

I can do clinical research participation, and he says that there are a couple of new, "very promising" drugs that are coming out in the next couple of months.

If the chemo drugs work, and the tumor can be shrunk a bit, then surgery is possible, and probably will be performed. Maybe they'll get the whole thing. You folks may end up be stuck with me for a few more years, after all.

He already gave me a scrip for some pain meds; straight hydrocodone (fuck the tylenol, liver-killing bastard). Naturally, I had to try it to make sure it works. Now I have a compelling urge to listen to Miles Davis. Gotta be careful not to take it too often; it will lose its effectiveness for some real pain, which undoubtedly is coming down the tracks.
But it's good to know he's not one of those dickheads that wants to give you ibuprofen when you're writhing in agony.

In a worst-case scenario, he said it is not a particularly painful death, although at that point I suspect I'll be main-lining morphine. I may, in fact, be able to make it through the entire John Coltrane "Ascension" album.

All in all, it was a rather encouraging meeting. I know my wife felt better, and she's got more sense than I will ever have.

Believe me, kids, I'm going to do everything in my power to beat this summabitch. I've told a couple of yuz the "falcon story", but I will repeat it:
Mrs. Coolrock and I had just returned from getting the bad news diagnosis last Thursday, and we were sitting in the back yard blubbering. Out of nowhere, this falcon flies in and perches in the crab-apple tree right in front of us (I've never seen a falcon before in our yard, btw). He kinda gave me the silent "hey", and then he flew away. Weird. Later on, I looked up in Wikipedia what the symbolism of a falcon was. Well, two of the things it represents are Hope and Victory. Not too shabby.
Good thing it wasn't a crow.

Let's hope you beat the odds Coolrock!

I'll be praying for you, dude.

well done sir...ill be prayin for you

if i only had a few months to live, i'd be tempted to do something really crazy. rob a bank or something.

Coolrock ~ i have a million things i'd like to say, but i'd rather not clutter it up here. my irritable day has just been put into perspective. like many other people in this thread, i think you're one of the best reasons some of us come here. it's a pretty mean feat to affect complete strangers in a positive way with mere posts on the internet. i'll be pulling for you.

i'll be checking here often. my thoughts are with you and your family.

have they mentioned the Whipple procedure to you?

Hope so!

You've got the power of the SOMB with you, CR. Thanks for sharing everything with us as it happens, too. I've been praying for you since this thread began.

All the best. As much as I hate the idea of this being a thread since I really enjoy your posts, it gives Coolrock a place to consistently post. The unfortunate thing is the bad outweighs the good by some uncountable number.

Pesky little disease.