Bummer. Had an endoscopic ultrasound today; seems that I've got pancreatic cancer. Christ, what a boring way to die. I always figured it would be my lungs or liver, ya know, the smokin/drinkin/dopin Big Payback. Oh well. Not looking for pity, I'm really not afraid to die (the recovery figures are really dismal, like 7%), but, like I'm making all these plans of things I've always wanted to in my life, and I'm thinking, you schmucks shouldn't wait until you're about to croak to do these things, ya know?
On the plus side, Mrs. Coolrock will probably finally fuck me tonight.
Charity Ball.

Holy shit. I hope this is a sick joke. But if not, you're right that it's pretty hard for me to pity you. It's very unlikely I'll use my short time in existence as hard and awesome as you have.

Fuck that.

Really sorry about this, that's all I have to say.

Better get cranking on that book you need to write, Coolrock.

Sorry, dude. That sucks.

Coolrock has cancer
Farah Fawcett has cancer

Coolrock painted Farah's house. Coincedence? No way.

Overachiever at the Game of Life like you? 7% is doable, right?

Terrible news my man.
I'm sure you know that it's a bad place to have it. Hope that it was caught early enough that you might have a chance to beat it. And try you should.
Plenty of first hand account books you can read for inspiration.

I'll pray for ya'. Yeah, too bad...I'm gonna anyway.

I'm so sorry.

no fucking way are you sorry

you can't wait to put Coolrock in the dead thread you morbid bastard

Yeah, the dancing grim reaper sort of robs Tony's post of its sincerity.


Sad news though.

Irony?

All the best, man.

Maybe Jim and Greg can put you on the show. Heck, you qualify and the stories would make compelling radio. At the least, someone should gather your posts and, oh, I dunno, bind them.

And though you say you aren't afraid to die, your children surely will be. Keep positive and fight the good fight.

Jesus Christ.

I'm hanging with TJENZ's Farah Fawcett Theory. Did you paint her ceilings?

Time to get the affairs in order and do the bucket list thing, I guess. Will the band do a farewell show at the Abbey?

Don't be a dick.

Well goddamn. Not that it may be of great help, but the Cancer Center in Zion, IL is one of the best places to go for help.

This is not good news ... you're taking it too well, CR.

Dude, my gf and I will be rooting for you. I am really sorry to hear about this.

I wish you well, Coolrock.

Coolrock, you deserve a better way to die quite frankly.

The kids is the real heartbreaker for me. I haven't told them, and I'm still thinking about when and how, especially with the youngest (4), whoa, that's a bitch. Yeah, and it's easy to say, "I'm not afraid to die", when you're not dead yet---I'm sure when the Reaper comes a knockin, I'll be blubbering like a G8 protester after a tear-gas attack. Better still, I'll be so whacked on morphine (yet another plus) that I won't know if I'm in heaven or hell---I'm just really fucked up. (Guess that's closer to heaven, judging by previous criteria). I'll probably do some Dead Man Walking posting, I'll bet the SOMB hasn't had a real dying dude yet, might make for some good press. Trying to stay on the positive side, but, ya know, I'm a realist and the prognosis ain't good. Nonetheless, I'm already lining up witch-doctors and alternative shit--the chemo is supposed to be fairly worthless on this type of C, and, worse yet, I don't own a proper toupe. Believe me, I don't wanna die, but, as the old blues song goes,
"I have had my fun
if I don't get well no more."

Last time I wrote someone a letter that said "live2board" he didn't live to board, so I won't say that. But do live.

As a brand new father, this hits home for me big time. I don't know you from a bum on the street, but I wish you and your fam the best.

I have a 3 and a half year old, so I can empathize with you in regard to the small child. My suggestion to you is to get involved in some kind of video project, documenting some aspect of your life. It could be as simple as turning on the video camera and telling stories about your life, as if you are talking with them over beers when they are 20, 25 years old. When your child gets older they will want sounds and images of their old man SOOOOOO much. Plus the project will give you a purpose to your final months, years (or however long you have) and you cant ask much more from life than that.

Bad luck sir...

Everyone gotta die. Not everyone get to live.

Sorry to hear this, CR.

So sorry to hear that, duder.

This is terrible news. I wish you the best coolrock. I know all of us here will have you and your family in our thoughts.

reminds me of this i made awhile back:

This is shitty news. [/understatement]

:cries:

here's hoping you manage to be part of the 7%, dude.

We're sorry to hear about this.

I had a colleague at work who was diaganosed with PC in January, and they caught it late, and he died in 6 weeks. Doctors were pretty accurate in giving him 2 months, at his stage.

One of things my buddy's family did -- they set up an incredibly cool, free website through a company called Caring Bridge. They do free websites for the terminally ill, and I tell ya-- it was a big help and a big comfort to his family. Frankly, a really great use of the internet.

That's one story. Here's another:

Don't give up. My Mom sure hasn't. She was diaganosed with PC around March, and she just went through a full round of chemo, and as of now-- the doctors have given her the next few weeks off. By next month, she meets with her specialist again, to posibly talk about radiation.

After the chemo treatments, they commented that the cancer had not spread, and there were no new tumors. For right now, we're optimistic. She is starting to get some her strength back, and she says food no longer tastes like cardboard. I don't know what stage of C she's at, and she won't tell, so we don't ask. I won't ask you either.

But I will ask you NOT to give up. Swayze has PC, and he is still doing a TV show, and they have renewed his contract. (Ginsberg had it removed too, and went right back to work)

PC is probably the worst you can get, but before you cash in your chips, do some research.

You could not possibly be in a better place. Chicago is not just the center of restaurants, pizza, and heart attacks, we are also the center of cancer research, period.

Go to the U of Chicago's website, and you'll read that U of C was where they did the first chemo, as well as the first radiation treatments for cancer. The treatments were fucking invented here! The best specialists in the country are fucking here! You will also read that the very lastest in clinic studies are being done right here!

I suffer from no delusions, and I know my Mom is fighting the worst cancer imaginable, but she hasn't given up at age 66, so you have no excuses.

CR you are the fucking sage of this silly board, and I remember the one drink we had, (shhhh--) and I remember how many laughs you've given me, and how only Norton can come close to your "mixability".

So, don't give up, those too many younguns on here that need your mixes.

Gear up, CR-- Life ain't done with you yet. Jess says, "That's an order!"

So sorry to hear. Fight the good fight!

Man, that's some shitty news.

Thinking of you today mate. Here's hoping the 7% includes you and you get through this.

All the best.

Seconded on the U of C. I was so lucky to have them there as a Crohn's Disease patient--but your situation is much more serious and pressing than mine.

Here's hoping you recover, and that your days be as pain-free as possible.

Fuck, man. I'm so sorry--all the best.

Oh fuck, coolrock, I'm so sorry to hear it. Sending positive vibes your way.

Let me use this bandwidth to note that - and I believe I've posted this sentiment before on this board but maybe in previous incarnations of it - while I've been on the receiving end of hundreds of mix tapes and CDs, Coolrock's "The Wonderful World Of Me" is, for my money, the very best I've ever been given. It's got Bobby Womack's original version of "Lookin' For a Love." It's got some super cool early James Brown. Rod the Mod doing "Ain't Superstitious." Jimmy Rogers doing "Chicago Bound." A version of Jimmy Witherspoon's "Don't Let Go!" that I can't tell if it's Witherspoon doing a pre or post-Evenin' Blues version or someone who sounds kinda like him but either way it's a GREAT recording... Coolrock is a rock and roll nigger. Aces in the book of anyone who values good stuff. We've never met in person, sir, but I value you and those like you, few as they are. However long you may have, good on you here and wherever it is we go after the curtains close and lights go up.

i lost a childhood friend to this shit. it was sad to see her in such misery. i hope you beat this and live to see your children grow old.

Man, this sucks. I'm so sorry, coolrock. 7% is something to hold onto, though. You're a fighter. I know it! xoxox

Damn, horrible news Coolrock. I feel bad for the kids too, I have three of my own and I can't bear the thought of going what your going through now.
Medical Marijuana anyone?

QFT

This mix CD is one of the few I got from the SOMB that I still play on a regular basis.

Long live Coolrock

Ahhh, shit. Hang in there, CR.

Good luck sir, dignified and not old enough.

Good post from Alan.

Don't be too proud to call on Jesus should it come to a deathbed scenario but don't swagger towards oblivion cuz it seems like the John Wayne thing to do either... I would think despite everything in a lot of ways impending doom would be very freeing like that guy in Office Space after he got hypnotized.

naw, he painted her walls.
hey now.

damn johnnie, this is a tough one. not sure what to say except that you were personally responsible for a shit-ton of good times had by this dude over the yrs. i'm not even sure what the point is for saying that but to allow you to measure and receive gratitude from others while you still have the faculties to open a thread . that's not fake right? and hey, w/o delving too deep into the let's-start-the-obit-while-cr-is-still-alive motif but if you/when you start your No More Schmucks Tour hit me up for shared spliffs and cold ones. good luck pops.

Damn I'm so sorry CR.

I've been around this board for years and you sir are one of the good eggs. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

*hugs*

Damn, sorry to hear about this. Good luck.

The issue of kids just makes things so much more difficult. On another board I post at, a long time member had posted about he and his wife getting pregnant with their first kid, and there was some issue during labor that ended up killing the infant within a week of it being born. So we all went from congratulations to sympathy, etc., in the course of a couple of days, it was really sad. Then about 6 months later we found out that he - the father - passed away suddenly from what they think was a rare heart condition (Long QT syndrome, I think?). And the kicker was that his wife had gotten pregnant again and at the time he died, she was about 13 weeks along.

It takes a lot for me to cry about crap on a message board, but I have to say, I totally lost it reading through that thread.

Anyone who can tap dance his way across an asphalt kitchen floor, snort as much coke, bed as many ladies, survive the 70's and be the artistic mastermind whose kept yer r'n'r livelihood intact. Between the tales that you have told us and the life you've got yet to live I'd say do what you gotta do and beat this thing.

I'll drink with ya when yer here and we'll drink to ya when yer gone but
I'd prefer to listen to you talk than talk about you when yer gone.

So take your own advice; Keep yer chin up and don't be a schmuck.

I thought you were quitting this message board? Or did I misread your thread?