He reads the fucking board. And now I'm calling him out about.

With so much drama in the S-O-M-B.

Okay, WHO?

Name the place, we'll beat his ass for ya.

I'm not saying his name. One of you jag bags will start a gimmick pretending to be him and he'll get off on that more than stealing my newspaper. He wants to be all sneaky and shit about it now. Just wait until he sees the booby traps I'm fucking setting up.

Gimmick?

Luc, RUN!

But our moderator keeps tabs on that...and...wait a minute....

Nick's life is just a long episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

What angered me most about today's stealing of the newspaper was that it was pouring out when I went to get it. And this huge fucking drop from the entrance landed on my head and screwed up my hair for the rest of the day.

this thread is useless without pictures.

Ace?

He said booby TRAPS...not boobies. Perv.

And does anyone remember that Mr. Show where David Cross gets hung for stealing Bob Odenkirk's newspaper...? That was an awesome skit.

"I just feel so bad because I tried to kill someone for stealing newspapers!"

heh, you said boobies.

i just think it would be HILARITY and perhaps the greatest thread of all time, if nick did indeed set up booby traps for the supposed newspaper swiper and then posted them when he was caught red handed.

just imagine an overweight 35 yr old dude with a zwan tshirt on, caught under a small net, flailing around to escape with a trib in his hand. these are the things in my head that make me smile.

That's a great skit.



Well Gena's already narrowing down the field for us.

Ha!

I really want to see how this pans out.

nick, i had so much sympathy for you until this line. now i'm just laughing at you




seriously, though - nick: i have this problem many-a-times. it's annoying as hell. my solution was putting up this obnoxious sign on the entrance to my apartment:

and then listed all the newspapers you can read online for free. didn't have a problem much after that.


best of luck w/the boobie traps; keep us updated.

Don't hate, having your hair get messed up that early on can throw your whole day off.

He's usually wearing a Metallica shirt or a t-shirt like The Punisher wears.



No shit brah. Especially on a Monday morning.

buy a decoy paper and lay a turd on the front page. then fold it, turd unseen, on your doorstep just for him...if you want.

I'll stop as soon as I finish my life-sized, paper mache statue of you.

Dudes... he can't talk about the booby traps if the thieving bastard reads the board. Come on.

Newspaper ain't free.

that happens to be the exact line that made me cherish him more. you don't really love nick for who he is.

:snicker:

I'm sorry about it, Nick. I didn't think it was that important to you. I won't do it anymore.

Some results from a necessary Google image search:

booby trap:






boobie trap:

Indeed. Whenever I log in to this board I realize two people really love me for who I am: Some Girl and Hickman.

the rest of us love you for who you pretend to be.

and you hate all people for who they really are.

pretty much, yea.

i don't hate allll people. i don't even hate you kalmia, my friend.

Baby, newspapers are being stolen here. Come on.

ladies and gents of the somb witness:
1. nick makes thread
2. aneg attempts camaraderie with nick
3. nick does not respond
4. aneg sours

There was a man named Marlon who used to steal the Daily Southtown from my old place of employment. He was really bad at it though and didn't seem to realize that my time of arrival at the office didn't vary greatly from day to day. The guy used to peddle dull kitchen knives, marker sets, and 16mb mp3 players out of a duffle bag to our door bimonthly. Althought I never bought a thing from him, we were on a first named basis. Next thing I know, I see him snagging our newspapers! I'd pull into the parking lot and see him along the side of the building lifting the paper. After calling him out about half a dozen times, he stopped one day. He walked up to my car, I rolled up the window, but he gave me a big toothy grin and I rolled it back down. I said "What the fuck are you doing Marlon?!" He answered "I'm sorry," and I never saw him again.

uh, okay? i attempted no camaraderiewith nick; only amused myself (and admittedly few others) with my own ridiculous ideas within his thread. i've done so in numerous other threads and sought no friendship from their authors. this is how i am, baby. you have yet to see me sour. sorry if my little quip got someone's undies in a bunch. meant nothing of it. now, go away.

oh boy.

apology accepted!

Nah...he said NEWSpaper, not TOILET paper

And the fact that Aneg has a spat with every every woman on this board cracks me up...there can be only ONE SOMBie Queen Bee!

Diesel?

This is what's stopping us from subscribing to the paper.

Hey Nick, any resolution? Were you able to get your newspaper today?

Buy a gun and shoot him and kill him.

A man should know better than to lay a finger on another mans fucking newspaper.

Better solution.