"Ask Amy" recently responded to a rape victim's letter in what some are saying was an inappropriate way, and some are saying even more that that. Here's the original article with the letter and her response:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/chi-1127-ask...0,759611.column

I ask because I think she handled the situation correctly. Maybe she could of used a little more tact, but some folks are saying she should be fired. What do you think?

What was it that Amy said that was so wrong? It was a bad decision and she quoted other sources to back up the rationale that the girl explained as the underlying excuse. (being too drunk) What/Where did you see that ppl r up n' arms bout this? You listening to WLS in your spare time bud?

Not without Gary Meier or Brant whatshisname. I'll show you the outrage. I just kinda bumped into it, remembered the article. and couldn't imagine why folks were going crazy. I think I linked to it from AOL.

I'll post some of the wackiness here:

http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/12/11/advice...tance/#comments

I fail to see how this is controversial at all.

rape advice?

And the Trib titles this "response to victim was too harsh"

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/col...play-all.column

I agree, she did nothing wrong, but I'm a guy, and (what do I know) and there's a lot of nuts yelling for Amy's scalp. There's even a pettion to get her fired, but I wont' link that, cuz I don't agree.

What he said. Saying that the woman made a bad choice isn't the same as saying she wasn't raped.

Anyone who has known someone going through a rape knows that the victim experiences this victim-blaming sentiment from cops, friends, parents, etc. before people actually start to listen to them and give them a fair chance. I get visibly upset when I read sentiments like this but I'm fully resigned that people on the whole will never change from this ignorance. I'm disappointed in myself for being this jaded and resigned as the vast majority of rapes go unreported and dismissed. But it's in the numbers. Rape is about as legal as driving 7 mph over the speed limit. And this country's collective attitude of blame the victim first is the main reason why.


And if in case anyone was wondering. She said no sex and he didn't listen. That is first, second, and third in terms of wrong doing before we talk about a college girl drinking at a frat party.

The response is level headed and appropriate. It only responds to the fact that the victim concedes some degree of uncertainty regarding what happened/ isn't exactly 100% clear about what happened. Given the way the question is phrased it would be less appropriate for 'Amy' to take a clear definitive stance on what happened/what the girl should do. Perhaps the only inappropriate part is the suggestion that the girl is somehow at fault for getting drunk at a 'frat party'/making bad decisions. Certainly nobody should suggest anybody is guilty of deserving rape.

"Ask Amy" response was pure bullshit. Will respond in more detail when sober enough to do so.



This columnist is such a cunt.

This post made by female, I'm assuming majority repsondents are male. (I could be wong on this)

Just don't get taken advantage
of while you're still drunk...

I think I'm gonna continue relying on more reliable sources for rape advice.

Like actual rapists, for example.

Title of this thread should be Archived.

second question is ridiculous.

I knew at least one good LOL would come out of this thread.

This is why I posted this. There are a lot of people who agree with you. My whole thing is, the letter starts with "I made some bad choices", so it's not like Amy wasnt' responding to what the letter actually said. Since the atrocity had already happened, I think Amy was more concerned with using this event to teach the respondent and others something that could help them to avoid shit like this in the future. i.e., how to stop making bad choices. (Nobody's saying she deserved anything that happened, just trying to help it from happening in the future)

Shit-- I just realized why this issue is polarizing people. Everybody is responding in the typical way-- the men are trying to "fix" the situation, by preventing another rape from happening, and the women are far more concerned with sharing empathy and sympathy with the victim, which to them is more important than anything else.

Being married has taught me that sometimes women just want someone to agree with them, and share their feelings, even more than they want something "fixed".

No "duh".

Rape is not okay. That is my stance, and I'm comfortable with being hard-line about it.

Nobody "deserves" or "earns" rape through stupid decisions; rape is not "unforgivable" or "evil," but it is completely unjustifiable, understandable or excusable, and telling a victim that they kinda deserved it is not okay in my book.

lol. Good one

but seriously folks, rape ain't okay.

good 2 know

If I was a chick I'd just scream, "No!" the second before a guy stuck it in me. Good things women don't have fully functioning brains...right guys?

I don't know . . . ask Amy.

i voted yes, simply because she was indeed "correct" in her response. a person should feel comfortable getting drunk anywhere they damn well please. but as with everything else, there are risks involved. maybe your chances as a young woman of getting drunk and being raped go from 0% in a bar to, shit, 5% or something being alone with a horny college dude in a frathouse bedroom. but that's still a huge, huge risk you're taking. maybe even idiotic despite the inebriation

now, based on the girl's account, it was clearly rape. amy acknowledges this and says, rightly, that action should be taken. the mistake she makes is not putting this advice up front before gently affirming the mistakes the girl made and then reiterating that those mistakes did not remove full blame from the perpetrator. maybe she thought the title of the column would do the trick in this regard, i dunno

it's funny, 'cause when i read the article initially my only possible qualm was the following suggestion:

"You must involve the guy in question in order to determine what happened"

i can't imagine doing this would result in anything other than making it less likely the girl would take formal action against him. he'll just use every excuse in the book to try to build sympathy and escape punishment. and the girl was naive enough to trust him the first time around. i think there's a good chance she'd take it easy on him

By "involve," I thought her intent was to press charges.

involve "in order to determine what happened'? sure sounds like she's telling the chick to make sure she's got her story right by talking to the guy before moving forward

either way, there's no room for ambiguity in advice of this nature

I agree that I think this is the crux of what has caused the outrage, but logically, I understand why she ordered her advice the way she did, because without the poor decion-making on the front-end, she would have been much less at risk for rape later that evening. But yeah, I think people are more upset about the blunt manner in which he addressed the drinking and the fact that she made that point first, before tackling the consent issue.

agreed. there is enough self-blame that goes on w/sexual assault; this girl didn't need an advice columnist to pile it on. that said, amy is using her column as a soap box to prevent other women from going through this. ideally the letter-sender would have been in a position to ask someone else she trusted rather than an advice columnist.

Still amazed every time I see this thread title, wow.

What can I say?

I'm a big fan of KIS.

Bernie Madoff could probably use some rape advice right now.

Baa zing!