"...and that was because the hamburger wasn't cooked..."

"...you can only do what you are doing, while you are doing it"

duplicate. . . ignore

Damn, that's going to make my job a hell of a lot easier!

Sorry, I'll try to keep it down.


I'm surrounded by contractors and these a-holes put their conference calls on speakerphone ALL DAY LONG. It's so friggin irritating. Should I say something about it or just punch holes in their phone speakers when they leave for the day?

there's talk of us getting a new laser here.

of course no one laughed when i did the austin powers...."lazer" with finger quotes. i suck

Nope. I just go up to their desks, lift the receiver, hand them the hand set and say, "Please keep it down."

"you don't want to get this near your eye...or your groin."

I LOVE hearing snatches of conversation out of context. The imagination can just run wild...

"fatanto! stealing the sodas! hey, do you talk to someone up there or just load up the dolly?"

The only thing I get to hear is my music and the occasional bark from the chihuahua if someone happens by the front of the house.

Ahhhhhhhh.....

Yeah, I'm glad to see this thread taking off a little (I've been keeping my ears open for new gems here, but alas...). It reminds me that, when I was much younger and watching tons of TV with my sister, we would channel surf quite a bit with the sole intent of catching some juxtaposed words that would crack us up. It is often quite funny to hear things way out of context.

what did kids do before television?

[shudder]...ew, sometimes I don't even like to think about it. I think about that now too in terms of the workplace. I can't imagine sitting here in this cube without the information superhighway at my fingertips. Time was when all I'd have had on my desk would've been a typewriter, maybe a stapler, some primitive writing implements, and a phone...man, would that have sucked.

overheard yesterday: (2 young women, walking)

"...so michael was my second boyfriend, and I only slept with him twice."


you voyeurs might want to check this one out -
overheard in new york

Yeah, I remember back in high school, when I was out with friends, we'd overhear a bit of a conversation around us and use that as a starting point for our own made-up conversation. Like "...I can't believe Susie did that...." - "Dude, I can't beLIEVE Susie did that!" "Yeah, that Susie's nothing but a bitch, man." And off we'd go. Highly amusing to our juvenile selves. Hell, I'd probably STILL find it amusing.

Ha-ha, right on. That is a lost art.

Back in high school, my journal/notebook was full of quotes taken from over heard coversations. Definately made the day go by a little faster.

Girl #1: "Guess what guys? (Note: Why do girls call each other guys?) I get to leave after 3rd hour today!
Girl #2: "No way! Why?"
Girl #1: "I have to pick up my little sister from the doctor's cuz Mom and Dad can't."
Girl #2: "Aw, I wish I had a little sister... and a car."

EDIT: Kat just made my day with that link

yeah, i'm fairly certain i've done that recently my friends and i tend to have HIGHLY personal conversations in public (partly b/c we don't care, and partly b/c we don't realize it until too late), but I'm sure they've generated some snickers/intruiged glances on several occasions. hell, human beings are interesting. even (if not moreso) strangers. shit like this is intensely fascinating to me.

b/c we live in a man's world, baby.
gladly

I may have taken this out of context, but it sounds intriguing.

"When from behind me, a woman of 25 uttered the dumbest thing I'd ever heard in my life ... She said, 'If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.' I'll repeat that. I'll repeat that because that's the kind of sentence that when you hear it, your brain comes to a screeching halt. And the left hand side of the brain looks at the right hand side and goes, 'It's dark in here, and we may die.' She said, 'If it weren't for my horse...' as in, giddy up, giddy up, let's go - 'I wouldn't have spent that year in college,' a degree-granting institution. Don't! Don't think about that sentence for more than three minutes, or blood'll shoot out your nose. The American medical profession doesn't know why we get an aneurysm. It's when a blood vessel bursts in our head for no apparent reason. There's a reason. You're at the mall one day, and somebody over there says the dumbest thing you've ever heard and it goes in your ear. So you turn around to see if your friends heard it, cause if your friends heard it, and you can talk about what the jackass said, then it'll be gone. But your friends are over here, pretending they're gonna buy a cellular phone, and they're not gonna buy a cellular phone, because they don't even understand how the rate structure works. So you turn back, to find the person who said it, because if you can ask 'em a question like, 'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?!' then it'll go away. But they're gone. And now those words are in your head. And those words don't go away. Cause the way I see it, 7% of our brains functions all the time, because 99% of everything that happens is the same old stuff. We get it. All right. Move on. Get it. Right. But every so often, somethin' like that happens: 'If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.' So your brain goes, 'LET'S FIGURE IT OUT! Son of a bitch! I wonder what that's about!' I wonder, was she riding the horse to school? No, she wouldn't be riding the horse to school. Maybe it was a polo pony; she had a polo pony scholarship. Maybe she sold the horse and that's how she - she was betting on the horse! WHAT THE FUCK?!! And then you realize that anybody who went to college would never say anything that stupid in public. And as soon as you have that thought, your eyes close and the next morning they find you dead in your bathroom."

"...mas o menos..."

"...mas o menos..."

"...mas o menos..."

This gem is why I wade through all the crap here, even if it is pilfered..

yeah same here cupcake.

that overheard in NY site is pretty good. I heard the siteowner on NPR and have been checking it out periodically. here is another similar site that is pretty good as well.

CTA Tattler

"Let's read about the first time Queen Latifah shot a white person in the face."

This thread prompted me to peruse the Overheard in NY site, which prompted me to finally select a signature. Bravo, I say.

"I have thousands of professional wrestling magazines and videos boxed up in my basement."

boss: "dude, i forgot this is a 4 day week"
me: "fucking jesus"

we wish the stock market was open every day

I wish I could say that to my boss. He's actually directed me to not say "fricking" and "jesus."

the overheard in ny site is amazing!! funny, funny shit!

overheard today in the office:
um...it's not a conspiracy, 9/11 did happen (harumph) i mean, really, i was there

I'm tired of what I overhear in the halls at work.

yesterday i heard my boss (who was in her office, 25 ft away) say, "that fucking little bitch!"

i sent her an email to say that one was a bit loud.

you should immediately replace "fricking" with "fucking"!

It is my belief that every phy'all send the thingcal activity should be replaced with fucking.
GF: "Honey, are you going to hang the new blinds this weekend?"
TKB: "Naw, let's fuck baby."

I work in a call center

Customer (on cell phone) :
"My wife and I are on our way to the hospital to see my newborn son."

Two guys just walked by when I was outside a bit ago and we heard..."and he spit up tons of blood all over her."

eeewwww.

One of my favorite bits of overheard conversation was from a drunken party I was at around 8 years ago - I still use it all the time. I swear to God it went like this...

"...no, I don't have a big dick... but who the fuck is he to judge me just cause I have a dog named stevie..."

I have no idea, but it still makes me howl.

"...[sigh] okay, how do you want to do it--do you want to do it, or do you want me to do it and you watch?"

Remove the corporate context, and this line has universal applications.

I'm alone in the office today, but a quick head poke out the door caught this gem in the parking lot...

Hispanic man screaming into cell phone : "...but it's broken. It's yours. It's broken. I don't care. It's yours. It's really broken. It's yours."

the women on the other side of the cubicle wall are having a conversation that began with amanda bynes, moved onto she's the man, went into modern movies based on shakespeare plays ("what's a shrew?"), and has now ventured into books read in high school, like catcher in the rye and madame bovary. one woman seemed to have never heard of othello.

That's f*ckin' hysterical - nice!

"the females are a little thirstier when it comes to filling them with solder."

Yesterday I was having a conversation with one of our new consultants. It's the mindless "getting to know your manager" chatter. This woman is very young. I didn't know how young until she started telling me about her cat, who's very ill with diabetes. I said, "That's rough. She's probably going to the vet a lot. You'll have a hard time at the end."

She said, "Well, I can't just take him to the vet and have him put to sleep when he gets really sick."

That stopped me in my tracks. She must have seen the look on my face and she said, "I can't just tell the vet to put him to sleep, can I?"

I said, "Yes. Yes, you can. It's your decision as a pet owner."

She said, "Oh. Oh. I thought that the vet would take him to a shelter or something."

Walking down the back hallway of the Mirage hotel in Vegas, I heard one of our cocktail waitresses singing, "I get more ass than a toilet seat."

"it's snowing! yes, look! ... well, it looks like snow."

"A-HAHAHAHAHAHA. A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. no."

someone fucking kill me. if your laugh can be heard from two rows away, you should not laugh. ever. i don't care if eddie fucking murphy circa 1987 walks through the door and bursts into raw material. shut.the.fuck.up.

"How are you about to juke with a rhinoceros?"