There's good bad movies and there's bad bad movies. Here's mine.

1. Flowers In The Attic - How did this ever get released?
2. Mars Attacks - Ughhhhh
3. Comin' At Ya! - Bad 3D, worse movie
4. Bram Stoker's Dracula - Hopkins, Neo, Oldman. What's not to like? This overdone crapfest.
5. Jaws: The Revenge - I may have a love/hate with Jaws IV, bad as it is I've sat thru it more than once on TV. Always curious to see which ending they'll show and of course this great exchange:

Mom: The shark killed your father.

Son: Dad died of a heart attack.

Mom: From fear of the shark.

(from memory)

Matrix Reloaded - no explanations necessary, right?
Star Wars: the Phantom Menace - well, it was lame. End of story.
Rustler's Rhapsody - well, I was a kid, and the previews were funny.. because they contained all the funny bits.
About Schmidt - I dunno, I just didn't like this film. I felt no empathy for any of the characters.
Stop Making Sense **

** OK, this one requires explanation, for many of you know that I am actually quite a fan of Talking Heads, and this film in particular is one of my favorites. However, I went to see it at Piper's Alley once, and it was in MONO! In fact, they had a notice on the door of the cinema (not on the box office, but only visible after you'd paid) stating that out of concern for the adjacent theaters they would not be showing Stop Making Sense in surround. Plus, the damn house lights never really got low enough, and I could hear the sonic booms of the action films next door interfering. And did I mention that I'd specifically dropped acid for this experience? Needless to say, we left before the drug kicked in, demanded our money back and sailed over to the lake to listen to the sound of the docked sailboats (which sounds like the biggest windchime ever, I swear).

Most of the above story is true. I leave it in your capable hands to figure out which bits are questionable.

Ernest Goes To Camp
Showgirls (almost walked out and then it was over)
The Matrix 2 (saw the third one on DVD, that may have topped 2)
Planet of the Apes (the Burton remake...just an awful experience)
Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones (only Star Wars film I dislike)

Granted, some of these aren't the worst films I've seen, but some of the worst experiences I've had. With everything except for Ernest, I was at least hoping/expecting them to be good.

Haunted Mansion

--I can't say that I've paid to see any other movie nearly as bad as that one (it wasn't my choice, BTW).

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Guess Who (wasn't my choice)
Stay Alive (same)
The Hills Have Eyes (almost walked out after around a half hour; stayed due to lethargy)

well that's almost 5

batman & robin
independance day
freddy vs jason
planet of the apes (burton)

that's all i got right now..

Because I have fathered a child, I have seen some dreck in the theatre.

Scooby Doo Movie- Just no words to describe how horrible this movie is...

Robots- Laaaaaame, and Robin Williams' voice alone is so gratingly irritating.

I think I've blocked some out. Also, an ex and I were doomed because she made me go see Talented Mr. Ripley and Eyes Wide Shut. Even her giganto-jugs couldn't save the relationship after that... Oh, and Unbreakable. Ugh, what a piece of trash...

Working Girl
Planet of the Apes (Burton)
Minority Report
Mars Attacks!
Saving Private Ryan



This is superb.

Two words: Anti. Semite.

You forgot "Working Girl" in there, Esther. Mike Nichols is Jewish as well...

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Sidekicks
Jurassic Park 2
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Jaws 3d

5- Matrix II
4- Matrix III
3- Planet of the Apes (burton)
2- Vaginal Cream Davis
1- Batman & Robin

Yeah, but Working Girl sucked ass. I love those other two movies.



You didn't like Jeff Goldblum's biological African-American gymnast daughter?

John Q- made me dislike Denzel

All About the Benjamins- The one thing that saved it was near the end of the movie, some guy from the back of the theater yelled "AW SHIT HE'S GOT CORN ROWS NOW?!"

Matrix 2- I honestly fell asleep.

I can't think of anything else, I usually try really hard not to pay for shitty movies. Females,though...females.

I'm glad you're 33% correct.

That puts me well above the Mendoza Line, which is my main goal in life.

MENDOZAAAAA!

I hate it when we fight.

Let's love.

Seeing Alex Baldwin bopping Doreen DiMucci is worth the whole movie.

God, you people see hella bad movies.

Smokey and the Bandit 2
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
Lambada: The Forbidden Dance
Godzilla 1984
Godzilla (1994)

The worst five I can remember paying to see:

The Man With One Red Shoe
The Tempest
La Cienega
Life is Beautiful
Million Dollar Baby

one too many Mai Tais that day Freddie?

My younger Daughter was an extra in the dance scenes.

[quote name='Freddie Freelance' date='Apr 21 2006, 08:58 AM' post='70347']

[/quote]
My younger Daughter was an extra in the dance scenes.
[/quote]

You must have been a proud papa!
I suppose there are worse movies she could have done....[attachmentid=275]

Most recently, Waiting

~ Queen of the Damned (didn't leave because I actually fell asleep in the theater)
~ The Ring
~ Mystery Men (uuuuuuggggghhhhh)
~ Napoleon Dynamite (it was a dollar theater, but still, it was a theater and two hours of my life I want fucking back)
~ The Benchwarmers (I snuck into this last week after seeing the glorious Thank you for Smoking....it was every bit as bad as you would imagine and then some)

hewlett, did you actually think your 1, 3 & 5 movies would be good, or do you just go see everything that comes out?

You win "Most Acceptable Excuse" for seeing a bad movie.

I was uber young when I went and saw Mystery Men, so that is excusable. I was probably in like fifth or sixth grade, so yeah. But even then I knew it was shit.

Benchwarmers I snuck into knowing it was going to be horseshit, but was surprised by how much horseshit was shoveled into one big hour and a half block. And I only caught maybe 30-40 minutes. The important thing was that it was painful.

As for Queen of the Damned, yeah I thought that might be kinda cool. I liked vampires andfrom what i remember, i think i even really dug the book prior to the fim. Needless to say, it was a painful, painful experience.

A crying shame, because Interview With The Vampire was such a great film, but Queen of the Damned was the better horror novel.

I've never walked out of a movie. I was carried out of 'Sid & Nancy' but that's a different story...

worst? worst meaning the movie had no redeeming value whatsoever? worst being that I was ultimately disappointed in the result of something I thought at the time was likely to impress rather than piss me off or bore the hell outta me...

#5 Nightmare on Elm St 3: Dream Warrior

#4 Shanghai Surprise

#3 Shattered Iamge

#2 Doom Generation

#1 License to Drive


edit- I'm not sure if the order is really relevant.. I'd also add that I despised Titanic, Age of Innocence & Natural Born Killers but admittedly there's some redeeming qualities therel... I also haven't got over my underwhelming distaste for 'What About Bob' or my unguided hatred for 'Bowfinger'... somehow Frank Oz has turned into the next Richard Benjamin or something like that.

yeah 'twas a damned shame, indeed.

She was also in Less Than Zero & Freeway, but Lambada was the worst of the three.

1. Saw
2. Saw 2
3. Batman & Robin (My parents actually paid for my ticket because I was probably only 10)
4. The Exorcism of Emily Rose
5. 3 Ninjas (the first one)

yeah Saw was bad
Lord of the Rings 2
some other movies. I dont get out much but Saw I was laughing histerically at, making jokes with some guy next to me. the whole theater knew how shitty it was, it was a laugh fest in there.

Lord of the rings 2. I actually cant say how bad it was because I fell asleep 25 minutes in. Peter Jackson is shitty.

i saw QotD with a chick i was dating at the time. probably one of the worst dates ever. it was just so, SO bad. for the record, the chick was really into tori amos and her house smelled (literally) like dog shit. i think she was a cutter, too.













FUN TIMES!

other gawdawful movies i paid for:
-mystery men
-scooby doo (i went with a group of people and some of the folks i was with actually ENJOYED it and were laughing out loud. it wasn't a group home outing or anything, either.)

but the kicker is...

MR. FUCKIN' DEEDS.

i hate HATE HATE this turd of a movie. it was the only time i actually wanted my money back (no luck). my friend and i were one of about 5 people in the theater. just for fun, we asked the manager who was helping the crew clean up if we could get cash back. he looked at me with this "i feel your pain" expression but couldn't help me out.

5. Good Night and Good Luck (overrated bore lacking any discernible climax)

4. Crash (The David Cronenberg movie. Although last year's Crash sucked just as hard on DVD)

3. Godfather III

2. Hannibal

1. Postcards from the Edge

Most recently 'Grizzlyman' and 'Match Point' (which we walked out of after 20 minutes)...I remember being disappointed with 'Nuns on the Run', 'The Ref', 'Garden State' and..crap, what was that bird documentary with the French dude voiceover? 'Winged Migration'? Awful....

Everybody hates on Saw II, but I thought some of the gore was pretty damn inventive. An enjoyable b-movie that actually does hearken back to 70's exploitation as opposed to just saying it does.

I saw that but didn't pay for seeing it, I worked on Nightmare 2, 3 & 4 (catering). Other bad movies I've seen in the theater but didn't pay for 'cause I worked on'em: Prince's Under the Cherry Moon (I helped with some LA promotion on it while interning at KROQ), 976-EVIL, Alien from L.A. (with Kathy Ireland!), and literally tons more that didn't even make it as Direct to Video.

It set out to do what the book had intended, without compromising its controversial plot details or the style of the story, which fans and author Anne Rice would not have wanted any other way. (I read the book once, but I can't say that I am a fan by any means.)

Director Neil Jordan gave the film an eerie and sensual vibe and pulled off the multiple settings of time. Pitt got so deep into his sullen character Louis that he was depressed for months afterward. Cruise actually pulled off, for the first time, a sympathetic character that wasn't "Tom Cruise". And of course, we all got introduced to Kirsten Dunst, who really hasn't done much better than this. The only really shitty part of the movie is the ending.

Hold up--if Saw was one of the worst, why'd you go to see Saw 2?

Ah. See, I hated the book as well.

5. Raising Cain- I'm a sucker for DePalma, but this was too much. 3rd Rock from the Son must have seemed like high art to Lithgow after this.
4. Where The Heart Is- I didn't actually pay for it- a free screening- but only went because it was one of the first starring vehicles for Natalie Portman and it was getting o.k. reviews. I dig chick flicks done well, but this gave chaveunism a cause to rally around. I should have known it might suck with Ashley Judd starring.
3. Darkness- Anna Paquin and Lena Olin in a creepy looking indie horror flick sounded good. Rarely has a film's tagline been so right- "Some secrets should never come to light".
2. Toys- Robin Williams was at the height of his popularity (1992) when the adds for this lured me in with hopes of a new-age Wonka type fantasy, directed by Barry Levinson. The movie fails on every level. The only laugh through the maddening 2 hours was when my aunt began to snore.
1. Higher Learning- Lost all respect for John Singleton after this piece of shit. Insults intelligence like no movie I've ever seen.

Not even Crash?

Crah is the fucking Odysee compared to Higher Learning.

You're ripping a movie that has Jennifer Connelly playing a lesbian...

I can only drop two horrendous ones right now:

The Avengers
The Ninth Gate

I'll try to think of more later. Those were terrible, terrible films.

i will never forgive my girl friend for making me see baby geniuses when i was like what, 13. we were in the front row left corner. my neck hurt and i was watching giant babies being not funny.

we have a winner