Wow. Ok. Group hug everyone.

hi jess...

what do you usually wear to bed?

Jess, will you ever do a soviet style 'Ask Little Jess' where you tell us what are questions are and what the answers to those questions are?

What avatar should I choose?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Little Jess}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


One for the queen.

By the by, here's the SOMBie crossword I had on the "emergency board"

Crossword 1

Should I post my man-bits on the internet? Would that certify me as an attention whore?

Be careful putting those out.

Wayne Jarvis: (pause) Michael, when we started talking to you, we didn’t have anything. But now... (slams the pictures on the table in front of him) we got something. And you’re going to do time for it. (hits the pictures with his finger)

Barry: (pointing) Those are the pictures?

Wayne Jarvis: They’re all over the news.

Barry: (tilting his head for a better look) Those are balls.

Wayne Jarvis: What?

Barry: Yeah.


Flashback to the bathroom scene. Tobias takes pictures...

Narrator: Barry was right. Tobias had inadvertently photographed himself while learning to use his camera phone.


Back to the present.

Barry: (looking at a picture he’s picked up) This close, they always look like landscape. Nope, you’re looking at balls.


Barry turns it around for all to see. They all lean in looking at the different pictures.

Narrator: Soon, forensic scientists confirmed this.


Flash of the Pentagon.

On-screen title: The Pentagon / Situation Room

Narrator: And for the second time in two days, the information sharing network put into place by the Patriot Act was put to use.


Flash of a man carrying a report down a hallway.

Cut to the Pentagon’s Situation Room, where a marine takes the report to the Chairman.

Chairman: (reading the report) They’re balls? (reaches for the phone)


Cut to two airborne fighters.

Chairman: (O.S.) We’re looking at balls. Let’s turn it around.

Pilot: (O.S.) Copy on the balls. We are turning.


The fighters turn around.

Narrator: And eventually, the news traveled back to the source.


Cut to Tobias excercising at the gym while he watches TV, where Fox 6 News is back on again.

On-screen title: We Blew It!

John Beard: We got one wrong, and we do apologize.


Angle back on Tobias, who suddenly stops excersising and looks between his legs as he recognizes “himself” on the small screen.

Tobias: (looking back at the screen) I’m on TV.

haha, I need to pick those up on DVD sometime

Dear LJ,

do you still have that last list of questions I asked or do I need to come up with a whole new batch?

Thanks,
T

I had hoped you had saved them

damn
guess I'll have to come up with a new list

I should have something for you when I get back from lunch

Jess, what's with the "Man Hole" sig?

i like it better than the dancing chick.

Hell, I don't know. It looked interesting



Jammies. I have a bunch



Sure, if you people start to bore me




I like Nibbles but it's a new board so go with something different



I'd like to see your man-bits, yes

Dear LJ,

Super Bowl XL, Steelers or Seahawks?
If a train leaves NY City, at 2:30, heading west at 75 M.P.H. and another train leaves Denver, at 4:17, heading east at 60 M.P.H. What are they serving in the dining car?
What are John McCain's chances of being elected president in '08?
How did it get so slippery?
What is Eddie Van Halen's home address?
When was the last time you hit someone in anger and why?
What restaurant is your favorite place to go for breakfast?
Is space truely the "final frontier"?
Which of the three Lord of the Rings movies was your favorite?
What brand of toothpaste is best?
When was the last time you bought new shoes?
Aerosmith's song "Big Ten Inch", is that really about a harmonica?
Why is Jay Leno still on TV?
What is your favorite song about America?
What SOMBie, that you haven't already met in person, would you most like to meet?
Kot or DeRo?
Girls with baseball caps & pony tails. Why don't more girls sport this look?
What do you think of the new board?
Worst addition to a TV show: Brady Bunch- Cousin Oliver, Good Times- Penny, Happy Days- Chachi, Andy Griffith- Goober, Smallville- Lois Lane or Other (please be specific)?
What is your favorite kind of tree?
Get any new tattoos lately?
If you could join any band that is currently active, what band would you choose?
What is your favorite receipe for chili?
What are the next five movies in your Netflix queue?
I'm not sure I'm using the term "built like a brick shit house" correctly. Could you please tell me the correct usage of the term and post at least two photos of people that are "built like a brick shit house"?
What is something no one on the board knows about you?
What are your travel plans for 2006?
If you could have dinner with any three people that ever lived, where would you have the dinner at and what would you eat?
What album (other than the DBT's) are you most looking forward to for 2006?
Are you going to get married?
What good classic rock song are you most sick of hearing?
What is the most popular soft drink in India?
Is it true that Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did?
Now that we have a new board, should we hold a new election for president?
What are you afraid of?
Where did the term "blow job" originate?


Thanks,
T

Steelers!

dear jess,
how'd you get your status thing changed? some others on the board said you may have fellated mr. rufus but i cannot believe that to be true. but, if such is the case, no need to implicate yourself, just wink.

thanks,
gena

Jason did it

I made another crossword puzzle

Sombie Obsessions

Another Sombie Crossword

Has anyone tried any of the crosswords yet?

no

Yea, well I expected that. Have any of you intelligent people tried them yet?

Have you ever felt the joy of buying a top a size smaller than you usually would...... and it fits perfectly.

I dont think iv felt so skinny for a long time!

Dear Little Jess.... is there a particular type of discipline that would work well for a cheeky monkey? the cheeky factor around here is alarmingly high...

ooooh.

yella??



I can think of one or two things

For the Devilman:

no.

pizza?

HUH?

Would you like some pizza?

OH DEAR! yeh ta!

Why is my thread not pinned yet?

Dear Little Jess,

Why do I have a tail bone?
Is it true that my little toe is useless to me?
Is the recent rhetoric from Jaque Chirac about France using nuclear weapons without hesitation on terror states a precursor to a United invasion of Iran?
Did Charles Darwin believe in God?
Are demons manifesting themselves in physical form on Earth due to us living in the End Times?
Does it make sense to put finite creatures into a realm of infinite torture?
Are we in control of our own lives, or do circumstances control our every move?

Thanks,
Inches

Why do I have a tail bone?
It’s the remnant of where your tail should be

Is it true that my little toe is useless to me?
Not at all. It can be used if you cut off parts of your fingers

Is the recent rhetoric from Jaque Chirac about France using nuclear weapons without hesitation on terror states a precursor to a United invasion of Iran?
Hell no. France is just sick of being called a pussy.

Did Charles Darwin believe in God?
Absolutely not.

Are demons manifesting themselves in physical form on Earth due to us living in the End Times?
Nope. They’ve always been around. Read the bible sometime. Jesus kept putting them into pigs. That’s why we shouldn’t eat pork.

Does it make sense to put finite creatures into a realm of infinite torture?
There is no such thing as infinite torture.

Are we in control of our own lives, or do circumstances control our every move?
I control your every move.

I suggest you do some more research

Morning wood. Is it at all related to an unconscious response of the mind or is it merely an automatic reaction of the body? Does it mean anything if it doesn't go away for a while?

Whoopsy! I misread. I thought he was asking if Darwin disproved belief in god



It is both.

How long is awhile?

for morning wood that last more than 3 hours, please consult a physician

Not that long. Let's just say it freaked me out a bit. As if you couldn't already assume...its been awhile..



oh crap.

HA HA HA HA.

By the way,

I need to get your song recorded asap...

Dear Little Jess,

How could a fish evolve to look just like a rock without the presence of a higher intelligence?
If a man weighing 150 lbs and a penny were dropped simultaneously from a roof, at precisely the same time and elevation, without any interference from wind: which hits the ground first?
What is on the other side of black holes?
What is dark matter and why does it make up most of the Universe?
What holds atoms together?
Where does energy go?
If intelligent beings arrived from another plant would they:
A. Harvest us as hamburger meat
B. Steal us away in the night for probing and tests
C. Crash a space ship to give us a technological boom
D. By you a drink and have their way with you
E. All of the above

Thanks,
Inches

How could a fish evolve to look just like a rock without the presence of a higher intelligence?
The same way everything else evolves, natural selection. Some poor fishies have a mutation, it becomes advantageous, they survive, the others don’t.

If a man weighing 150 lbs and a penny were dropped simultaneously from a roof, at precisely the same time and elevation, without any interference from wind: which hits the ground first?
Please clarify. Are you talking no air resistance at all, ie: in a vacuum?

What is on the other side of black holes?
God

What is dark matter and why does it make up most of the Universe?
Nobody knows. Nobody can see it. It’s the missing mass that can’t be accounted for. Why does it make up almost 90% of the universe? Something has to.

What holds atoms together?
Forces strong and electric

Where does energy go?
Energy goes nowhere

If intelligent beings arrived from another plant would they:
A. Harvest us as hamburger meat
B. Steal us away in the night for probing and tests
C. Crash a space ship to give us a technological boom
D. By you a drink and have their way with you
E. All of the above

Dear Little Jess,

Are American customs pagan or Christian?
What sense is employed when a person knows someone is staring them behind their back?
If the love of money is the root of all evil, what is the root of all goodness?
If Ulysses S. Grant had accepted Abe Lincoln's invitation to Our American Cousin, would he have saved Abe from Booth's bullet?
Is pornography good or bad for society?
Is life in the USA in 2006 better or worse than 1956?
Is the world a scarier place in 2006 than it was in 1006?
Will technology save the human race?
Will long distance space travel ever be possible?

Thanks,
Inches

Are American customs pagan or Christian?
America has customs? What?

What sense is employed when a person knows someone is staring them behind their back?
It is a combination of hearing and sight and touch and spinal chord fluid displacement and cerebellar equilibrium distruption. Commonly referred to as the "sixth sense"

If the love of money is the root of all evil, what is the root of all goodness?
I’m glad you got that phrasing right. Everyone thinks that money is the root of all evil but it is the love of money. The root of all goodness is mortality.

If Ulysses S. Grant had accepted Abe Lincoln's invitation to Our American Cousin, would he have saved Abe from Booth's bullet?
Possibly. But so could any of a million other factors. Don't mess with the prime directive.

Is pornography good or bad for society?
It is neither.

Is life in the USA in 2006 better or worse than 1956?
Better.

Is the world a scarier place in 2006 than it was in 1006?
No.

Will technology save the human race?
Nothing can save the human race. We’re a self-destructive species.

Will long distance space travel ever be possible?
Absolutely.

I believe it's called 'shopping'.


I'm not sure I follow this? How does mortality justify 'goodness'? Unless you're referring to the concept of man as being inherently good? Otherwise, 'goodness' or the concept of being 'good' is derived from your actions towards others. Whether in service or kindness. It is when we act outside of our own interests that we tend to define who is good.

If we can learn one thing from mythology, it is that immortality breeds bad deeds. Children are not born inherently good or bad. They learn to be good or bad because of human shared experience. They learn about pain and destruction and sorrow. To me, this is all an extension of mortality. Physical and spiritual. Fire can burn. So can words. So can deeds. The fact that we can be hurt and die governs our behavior.

"The function of wisdom is to discriminate between good and evil."-Cicero

"The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil." -Hannah Arendt

"Since boredom advances and boredom is the root of all evil, no wonder, then, that the world goes backwards, that evil spreads. This can be traced back to the very beginning of the world. The gods were bored; therefore they created human beings." -Soren Kierkegaard:

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws." -Plato

"But goodness alone is never enough. A hard cold wisdom is required, too, for goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom invariably accomplishes evil."-Robert Heinlein

"Innocence is a wonderful thing except for the fact that it's impotent. Guilt is power. All effective people are guilty because the use of power is guilt, and only guilty people can be effective. Effective for good, mind you. Only the damned can be saved." - Stephen R. Donaldson

I really hate quotes...

Jess,

What's your favorite full length Anime? Your favorite TV series Anime?
Winter squash or summer squash?
What is the most sensual food to eat? The most sensual to watch someone else eat?
Could bad Fung-Shui have affected the outcome of the US Civil War? I.e., if all of those Confederate plantation houses hadn't had all of those grand sweeping staircases leading down to their front doors, could they have lasted long enough to beat the US forces via public opinion turning against the war?
Can art be High Brow & Low Brow at the same time?
Canned peas or corn?
Did you ever eat those candy "tin" whistles that got higher in tone as you ate them? How about those wax monsters that were filled with "flavored" sugar water?
Have you heard of the new version of the 747 that Boeing's releasing? I wanna ride in the double deck version...
Why is Plato revered when he's such an ass? Soccrates gets short shrift in comparison and was worlds ahead of his student.
Farnsworth House or Falling Water? And why do both of them have so many engineering problems?