Last night, while at the Outdoor Film Festival, my sisterinlaw offered my mother and I a bag of garden-grown vegetables to share. While discussing other matters about this and that, I packed the bag in my belongings. After the film was over, the subject was brought up again, and I pointed out that I placed it in my bag to leave, offered to distribute the veggies, but my mom declined and shrugged and added,

"That's typical. You and {Mrs. Ag} usually pack food to go. You probably need it."

(Mrs. A. and I usually take leftover food after family gatherings. I guess there's a PROBLEM with that.)

So with that, and some other personal crap that she decided to bring up last night, my mother pissed me off, bringing a real damper to what was an otherwise fun night out. It doesn't sound like much here in text-form, but it just really irks me that she is turning into a critical nag. Vent here if you wish...your story will probably be more exciting, but we are here for a common cause--preventing patricide.

Take it.

My dad used to be a major pain in the ass, only happy when he had something to complain about. Now he's dead.

Problem solved.

my mom and dad are going to be in florida during the weekend of the chicago triathlon that i'm competing (ha!) in. i told her that she can sign up for text message updates of where i am during the race, so at least she'll know i'm alive. her reply, "my phone doesn't text message." (lie) when i called her on it, she said, "well, i have text messages turned off. i called them and they disabled it." (also a lie) so, rather than pay a dime to find out where her only child is during a big race with thousands of people, she's just going to wait to hear from me after the race.

that's not really a big gripe, just my mom being ridiculous as always. but, when i found out yesterday that my credit card was used for a fraudulent purchase, she did threaten to "find and kill the fucker who did this." so i guess it all evens out in the end.

Your mom is awesome!!!

I also get so so mad at my 10th grade Science teacher. And my dumbass younger sister Rain. Oh yeah, and also that meanie at school Tommy O'Riley.

My mom doesn't piss me off as much as she just frustrates me. She's a miserable human being. She's 52 living with a grumpy old 70-something old man. Every time I talk to her all she does is complain about him and how miserable he makes her. Nobody can stand him, myself included, so they never come around to visit her. So she complains about that too. "Nobody ever comes to see me, I moved back here from Florida because I missed my family and now I still don't see my family...blah, blah, blah." It's inevitable that whenever I talk to my mother she's going to make me want to slit my wrists. She's the such downer. THAT is why no one ever wants to visit her.

Oh, and another thing she does that pisses me off is that she's always trying to fix me up with guys. One time she told this guy about me and he repeatedly showed up where I worked. He pretty much started stalking me. I had to have my friend Tim (6' tall, 300 pounds) tell him to leave me alone.

Who is this guy your mom is living with?

there's nothing that pisses me off more than my mother and stepfather. i'm so glad i live 1000 miles away from them and we only speak once a month, if that even. i love my mom and all, but she knows exactly what makes me angriest the quickest and pushes my buttons more than anything else. (which is something we have in common, but i do such to people for comedic effect while my mother is just a demon.)

she's the reason i'm the bitter, sexist cunt i am today. thanks mom! and if you want to see possibly the funniest thing in the world, catch me in the middle of a phone conversation with my mother. my roommate used to sit in the same room and listen and laugh and laugh. god, my mother is stupid.

Wow, thanks for the update on your bad ol' mommy wommy. Maybe you can eat some cereal after dinner and that will make your wittle tummy wummy fell Alllllll better.

A nation full of pre adolescent chicks.

How old are you again? I mean, you are over 30 years old right?

Anything you twats WON'T talk about? Can i see your myspace?

It's her "boyfriend" she met online about 5 years ago. She got addicted to AOL and started chatting with people. Next thing I know my parents' 28 year marriage was ending and my mom was moving to Florida. He actually lied to her about his age, but once she found out the truth she was already in "love." At this point she hates him, but is too scared to be alone. I told her it sounds like she's just waiting for him to die and she didn't deny it. It's a fucked up situation.

WHOAH

Who the hell are you anyway? Don't like the thread? Go someplace else.

My parents are awesome. I don't think we've raised a voice at each other in 15 years. True story.

my mom never pissed me off really. she was sick for a long time so it was pretty difficult to be mad at her for anything. the things that did piss me off were not her fault at all and mostly related to her alzhiemers so we were tight.

as far as my old man...where do i start?

My dad's a generally a good guy, but political views make him pretty irritating. He read the Ann Coulter book and likes to turn discussions into "that's exactly what's wrong with you liberals!" debates. It could even stem from a discussion about Coco Puffs. It gotten worse since he finished that book and it's been bled onto a discussion with my friends. It was pretty uncomfortable for everyone. I like to keep the discussion on baseball to avoid this.

I love my mom, I called her for her birthday the other day and we talked for 3 minutes or so. I passed the phone to my fiancee and they talked for 20 minutes. They talked about dreams and such. I can't remember if I've had that with her. It's kind of weird my fiancee is closer to her than I am....

Either way, I love my folks and I'm satisfied with my relationships with them as an adult.

Wow. This would piss me off, for sure.

I only have my stepmom @ this point, who's been around since I was 6-7. She's a better person than my mom was, happy, normal, etc., but it became evident a year or two ago that the only sibling that matters to her is my (half-) brother. This is unresolved as yet. The more immediate gripe is "talking to her" on the phone. She basically does a brain dump for oh, 30-60 minutes without asking me anything or stopping to allow feedback. More than once, I've set down the phone to do something that needed two hands and when I came back a few minutes later, she was still talking nonstop.

my parents are pretty cool. When they're not, I leave.

Ouch. Touch a nerve there widdle baby waby?

"What? Still throwing a tantrum? TO YOUR ROOM NOW YOUNG MAN! And no allowance for a week! Also, like your father already told you, stop writing those ridiculous song 'parodies' you spend all your time on. If you're gonna have a hobby at least have one you don't suck at. And no friendster for a week either!"

My dad is way cool. He used to come to gigs of mine and down pitchers of beer and smoke cheap cigarettes with all my friends and talk about how it was in 'Nam and gooks and klicks and stuff. He is a good cook too and whenever I show up, he wants to cook me something and pour me some Jim Beam. He ain't so smart, kind of a blue-collar farmboy type, and he doesn't know the first thing about movies or music, but he can fix anything and grows a great garden and is a pretty fun laid-back mellow dude.

My mom is the exact opposite. Super high-strung, uber-religious, and rarely any fun at all. Even though I am "old" now, she is always worried about me smoking or drinking or driving too fast or having any kind of fun at all, and she nags at me constantly about how I need to go to church and she gets all guilt-trippy if i don't call her like once a week. I talk to her every couple weeks, because she usually has nothing to say that is not a finger-wagging kind of "be careful now" thing. She does care about us kids alot, but man, she can be really annoying.

So, a mixed bag for me.

Who has the baby rabbit killing dad? Was that you, TKB?

i think that was kmac

i think you're right.

yeah, my parents are both really cool and down to earth, and they don't try to influence our lives too much as long as we show up for mother's day, thanksgiving, xmas, and various family reunions. and i'm sure my mom's upset that none of the 3 of us have given her any grandkids yet, but she teaches preschool to make up for that.

edit: and yeah, that was my dad who smashed the baby rabbits in the trash bag with the shovel while i stood there watching in horror, then carried the bag down to the garbage can on the curb. good times!

My dad only kills gooks

my mother is very frustrating. stories about her are legendary amongst my friends. i even get requests sometimes. only one friend since high school has met her and they pretty much confirmed to everyone else that what i say isn't out of line.

My parents fall into the same mold as TKB's pretty much. My mom can't calm down about anything ("[insert nagging about stupid shit]"), and my dad is pretty chilled out ("don't smoke pot until you're at least 16"). I have no problem with either of them.

my parents fucking rock. i really enjoy hanging out with them. my dad is the most hysterical man i have ever met, with my brother in close second. my mom i would consider just like a normal friend. i can talk about whatever. they are so great. usually.

once i got a b on a chemistry test and i flipped out and had a tantrum and couldnt stop cryiung and threw my phone against the wall. my daddy told me i should start smoking weed and drinking more. he was a giant stoner turned respectable successful businessman who probably still smokes up? i donno.

my mom always tells me to stop studying to go out to party. which she knows ill rarely listen. they get some sort of satisfaction out of seeing me not study. because they know i get way to stressed out from school and it kills me.

except rightr now they thing my brother is on coke and deals drugs and they think im pregnant. fuck them. they are being bastards right now. usually they are cool. but not right now. i donno what the hell is going on.

i mean...if its summer and you are staying at your house, of course you are going to come home hungover looking like shit at 4pm everyday

Christ, Smalley, it's just a thread. Granted, most complaints about parents are nit-picking, but some parents really fuck up their kids way after grade school.

Take mine - I had a brother, a doctor, at the time 28, who was hoping to get engaged. My parents never met the woman, but they objected because she was divorced and had a small kid. They didn't just object, they went out of their way to make his life a living hell. He may be a doctor, but he wasn't making six figures yet, still had student loans, and a modest home to pay for. So on the one hand, they disowned him, basically said he wasn't their kid anymore, but on the other hand, they wanted every penny they spent raising him (not just college and med school, the whole fucking ball of wax since conception) paid back to them in full. They didn't care how long it took, it was their money, they're entitled to it, that was the attitude. In the meantime, they hammered away at him every fucking day like a pair of psychos, calling him, harassing him, playing every fucking trick in the book to mess with his head, making him believe that his grandparents didn't want to see him anymore because they were so ashamed, making him believe people were talking about him behind his back, and just being plan verbally abusive, which has a deeper impact for someone who isn't strong-willed and who was physically and emotionally abused much of his damn life. I wasn't there, but I found out he sort of cracked - nothing dramatic, I don't think, but he had to get professional help, and financially he was hurting (he had to borrow money, me for the house, my other brother to pay our parents...fucking ridiculous), but eventually everything went "back to normal" 'cause he just ended his relationship with the other woman - wasn't gonna work at this point, she also had her kid to think about it - went into fucking denial about the whole thing, while my parents felt vindicated and justified about everything they did without ever MEETING the woman.

They tried the same bullshit with my other brother because he was dating a woman who looked "too Asian" (yeah, they're bigots too), but by now, my other brother realized "Why the fuck do I want anything to do with those people? Any close relationship they have, they twist into this abusive bullshit. Fuck 'em, I don't need people like that." He hasn't talked to them in two years, never seen him happier. Well, he's not crazy about his job - well-paid but boring grueling work - but that's relatively minor.

(yawn) I've heard it all, Smallstuff. Enjoy your life.

(edit to late readers...the above was directed at Smalley's previous post)

up until like 5 years ago, my parents and i really didn't get along. now, though, we all coexist exceptionally well. my mom still has the short temper of a poorly constructed roman candle, but she's always been like that. fuck, a few weeks back she threatened to hit some guys car in a parking lot to his face because he parked so goddamned close to us. it was endearing/embarassing.

my dad is the polar opposite and much like me. he doesn't pick fights and just is really laid back. takes everything in stride and just enjoys whatever happens. out of my two parents, he and i get along better than my mom and i. we commonly bond and do things together every week or two. my only complaint is that he keeps things bottled up so long that it comes out sometimes in really weird ways. like nearly emo-ish rants that make me give him Death Cab cds to listen to.

in conclussion, my parents are really great.

I certainly had no problem with my parents (particularly mom and stepfather) until Mrs. A. got into the picture.

Why are moms so damn high strung? Can't they just chill the fuck out sometimes???

mine has good Jewish guilt powers.

Mine has the art of Roman Catholic guilt trips + overbearing Italian controlling powers. Beat that!

my dad has the Italian thing so it's best of both worlds for me. He's too chill for that though.

Same here but I raise you an alcoholic.

DOH! Trump card, you win, my friend.

my dad used to bombard me with how much my education cost him and he went through a phase where he kept hinting at wanting me to pay him back. at the time, there was no way i could've paid him back. i was really in a tight spot financially. now that i'm doing pretty well, he hasn't mentioned it for awhile. it's funny how that worked out.

One of my biggest fears in becoming a parent is that my wife will turn into her mother while taking care of our child.

I wish you all the best with that, my man. It doesn't always happen, but women do tend to emaulate their own mothers when raising a child.

if i ever plan to get pregnant, i'm going through some heavy duty therapy so i don't turn out like my mom. i love her and i don't wish to have anyone else as my mom, but growing up with her was tough as hell. she was mean.

we have a winner!

That is a very responsible thing to do. If more people approached parenting that way, the world would be a much better place.

I got to disagree. I know your intentions are good but kids of parents trying to compensate for their own issues with their parents usually wind up in therapy and/or have behavior problems with a lack of respect for authority.

I'm not a parent yet, but I know I probably won't raise Ghandi. I just want to raise a respectful person who can enjoy life and be enjoyed by the people he/she meets.

What's wrong w/ going to therapy and improving yourself, and thus trying to do a better job raising your child than your parents did raising you? Of course, you can overcompensate and go too far the other way, but what's the alternative? If you know you have emotional scars from a problematic childhood, what should you do? Ignore the scars and hope they go away?

The notion of thinking you can out-parent your parents is crass and arrogant. Your parents are human beings just like you are. They may be manipulative and irritating at times, but essentially they're just trying to make you a good, well-adjusted person. People who over or under parent based on their own issues do their children no favors.

There's nothing wrong with getting help to improve your parenting skills. I just find the spiteful action or inaction against one's parents to be a dangerous approach.

(I base this off of nothing but my personal experiences with family and friends becoming new parents. It's easy for me to pick and choose what I like and dislike about people's parenting styles when I have no idea how children will change my life. So take my opinions with that grain of salt.)

That's horrible! I'm sorry your brother fell for all that bullshit. Hopefully he's escaped their clutches now.







I think she's saying she doesn't want to make the same mistakes her mom made. That's not trying to "out-parent" anyone--it's about growth, adjustment, & being the best you can be. But Jasmine, you probably wouldn't be the same sort of parent anyway, because you've given thought to it in the first place. It's people who mindlessly follow the examples set for them that tend to fuck up the next generation as well.

My parents and I rarely talk. My dad and I hated each other until about 2 years ago. My mom is one of the few people I actually care about on the planet though.

My parents are authority figures and people i look up to rather than people i can curse, drink, and fart in front of. My dad was quite the discplinarian when I was younger. Guy used to belt me if I ever talked back to him. Yeah, he was high strung. It always amazes me when I go over to other peoples houses and they're all like, friendly and huggy/kissy with their old man. and they curse and talk about fucking and shit in front of them. it's so foreign to me.