Dear department stores, like those I visited today. I understand America has a growing obesity problem, and you want to capitolize on that market, but some of us still need pants that are tall AND thin. Apparently if your waist is 31/32, the person must be short and the length must be 32 or less, and if your length is 34, your waist must be 36 or larger.

Thank you, that is all.

which stores may i ask?

this sounds like a job for aneg to solve.

yes.

bean, you need to eat more.

problem solved.

i'll also add that it's high time for the fashion industry to place the needs of tall/willowy women first. oh wait!

I've tried, I have one of those metabolisms that annoys normal people when they find out about it.

Try getting a men's small shirt.

yea, i mean. you're a pretty thin guy. do they have tall and lanky clothing shops for men?

set off a stink bomb

NO. They do not.

Thank god I'm finally getting old & fat, because 33 x 36 jeans are basically impossible to find.

How about carrying clothes for the few non fatties left. Too many fatso's. They wobble.

but... you are only 29!

That's a 33 waist and a 36 length???

I just bought these from a Mexican guy at work...

They fit pretty well...

also, my other suggestion for bean [and now yancy]:

just go pantsless. it'll be cheaper and far more amusing for me. and that's really all that matters.

where are you people shopping? my brother is 6'4 and probably 170 pounds and has more jeans than any guy i know and they are all fabulous.

I'd rather talk about that stores have more fatty clothes than others. Wal-Mart is fatso heaven. You know what they call a skinny person there? Someone with only three chins.

In college, yes. Not so much now. But a 36 length is pretty much impossible to find in any waist size, unless you like wearing Dockers or relaxed fit stonewashed Levis or some shit.

Other acceptable punchlines would have been


Lunch


Lost


Employee without citizenship who gets locked in at night

That is a pretty unique size. For years I was a 36 waist 32 length. No prob there! Jeans galore!But now that I have ballooned to a 38 or even 40 if I want a bit o' extra room, Dickies are the only way to go.

Is anyone going to fess up about being a fatty?

I'm like 30x30 and wear small size shirts and jackets. Do all my shopping through
catalogs. Too many times I've gone out shopping and came back empty handed.

When I graduated from college, I gained about 25-30 pounds in fat; I could not fit into any of my pants, so I just wore sweatpants for an entire year--except when I had to go to work, which I then wore elastic khaki pants.

To be honest, I actually enjoyed wearing them--they were pretty darn comfortable; I did not have a problem with them.

I am a thin guy with a fat belly. So I am kind of a fatty. Thankfully I have a great package though.

"Not working hard enough."

Last time you saw it, anyway.

That's the thing bro, if I can see it, and I can, it must be huge! Hell, I forgot what my feet look like...

corduroy. They feel like sweets, look dressy, and make fun noises when you walk fast.

The best way to fight obesity is for clothing manufacturers to charge more for larger garments.

Anyone ever had that thought before? It makes perfect sense: more fabric, more square-footage, more materials used means it cost more in the first place to produce.

Ass tax! I like it.

wouldn't it be easier to impose a fat tax on any food they buy? for instance, tie it to trans-fat content (the more trans-fatty the food and the lardassier you are, the more you pay)? i think we're on to something. i'll call burton natarus and ed burke and they can work on an ordinance.

amen. shopping for pants is no fun. 32x32 but not exact.

You can put it on a referendum, More than half the country doesn't vote. More than half the country is fat. Fat people don't like to do things like walk or stand, both of which required for voting. Plus in order to drive to voting both, people are bound to pass tasty food establishments. Referendum passes unoposed.

Use belts. The larger pants give you more pocket room anyway and you can move around better. If you are real stiff, the last one doesn't matter much.

I pretty much always buy them a little larger because I don't feel like trying stuff on in the store or returning it. Sizes sometimes vary with different makers.

only drawback is that those blessed with larger feet will get charged more for shoes, even though it's not their fault.

But otherwise, big sense.

I'll fess up...and it ain't easy for us either. I'm 6'4", and about 270. 42" waist, and 32-34 length, depending on the cut. Unfortunately, once you get above 40", most places assume you're short and fat, and it's tough to find anything over 30" in length.

270 doesn't sound fat for 6'4. If you had said 5'4 then that would be different.

Trust me, it is. I need to lose weight. I was at a doctor's office recently, and they had a height-to-weight ratio chart. I can't remember the exact figures, but a 6'4" man should generally weigh between 190 and 225. I should get down to around 220. One of my goals for the next year or so.

That means I could put on a LOT of weight without being fat.

My gripe is the exact opposite. I'm 265 and 5'8.
I can't find any 44 waists any fucking place. It's all clothes for skinny fucks. JC Penny, Mervyns you name it, they don't have em'!

Fat people are funny.