Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up."
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/4748292.stm
Full Version: Still the funniest story of the year
Yes, it most certainly is.
Scottish farmer walks into the neighborhood pub, and orders a whiskey.
"Ye see that fence over there?" he says to the bartender. "Ah built it with me own two hands! Dug up the holes with me shovel, chopped doon the trees for the posts by me ownself, laid every last rail! But do they call me 'McGregor the Fence-Builder?' No..."
He gulps down the whiskey and orders another. "Ye see that pier on the loch?" He continues, "Ah built it me ownself, too. Swam oot into the loch to lay the foondations, laid doon every single board! But do they call me 'McGregor the Pier-Builder?' No."
"But ye fuck ONE sheep...."
Scottish farmer walks into the neighborhood pub, and orders a whiskey.
"Ye see that fence over there?" he says to the bartender. "Ah built it with me own two hands! Dug up the holes with me shovel, chopped doon the trees for the posts by me ownself, laid every last rail! But do they call me 'McGregor the Fence-Builder?' No..."
He gulps down the whiskey and orders another. "Ye see that pier on the loch?" He continues, "Ah built it me ownself, too. Swam oot into the loch to lay the foondations, laid doon every single board! But do they call me 'McGregor the Pier-Builder?' No."
"But ye fuck ONE sheep...."
A travelling salesman is driving in Kansas corn country when he sees a man having sex with a donkey in a tilled field adjacent to a farmhouse. Being an animal rights activist, the outraged salesman drives his car up the driveway of the farmhouse to alert someone to the terrible transgression playing out in the field. His knock at the door is answered by a boy who courteously askes the salesman how he might be of service.
"Hello young man," begins the salesman. "I would like notify your dad that a man is having sexual relations with a donkey in your field."
After peering out the door the boy replies "That IS my dad. He-haaaaaaaw-lways does that."
"Hello young man," begins the salesman. "I would like notify your dad that a man is having sexual relations with a donkey in your field."
After peering out the door the boy replies "That IS my dad. He-haaaaaaaw-lways does that."
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story...18-1702,00.html
Run Tanja Run
QUOTE
Police hunt breast enlargement cheats
From correspondents in Berlin, Germany
October 05, 2006
A GERMAN plastic surgeon cheated out of payment by women has handed pictures of their enlarged breasts to police, in the hope the photos will help trace them.
“The women registered under fake names,” Michael Koenig, a surgeon in Cologne, told Bild newspaper.
“After the operations, which lasted about an hour, they just ran away.”
“Tanja” went out for “fresh air” after €8000 ($A13,740) surgery to enlarge her breasts.
“She never came back and never paid,” Dr Koenig said. He now plans to demand payment in advance.
Bild published a five-column picture of Tanja's naked breasts.
“It's probably the most unusual wanted poster police ever had,” the newspaper wrote.
From correspondents in Berlin, Germany
October 05, 2006
A GERMAN plastic surgeon cheated out of payment by women has handed pictures of their enlarged breasts to police, in the hope the photos will help trace them.
“The women registered under fake names,” Michael Koenig, a surgeon in Cologne, told Bild newspaper.
“After the operations, which lasted about an hour, they just ran away.”
“Tanja” went out for “fresh air” after €8000 ($A13,740) surgery to enlarge her breasts.
“She never came back and never paid,” Dr Koenig said. He now plans to demand payment in advance.
Bild published a five-column picture of Tanja's naked breasts.
“It's probably the most unusual wanted poster police ever had,” the newspaper wrote.
Run Tanja Run
This one was mentioned by Maher last week--not so funny:
Chinese surgeons transplant penis then remove it due to psychological problems
By Marilynn Marchione
(AP) - Chinese doctors say they successfully transplanted a penis on a man who lost his own in an accident, but had to remove it two weeks later because of psychological problems experienced by the man and his wife.
The case appears to be the first such transplant reported in a medical journal: European Urology, published by the European Association of Urology.
The Chinese doctors could not be reached for comment, and their report does not explain how the 44-year-old man lost his penis. It says only that "an unfortunate traumatic accident" left him with a small stump, unable to urinate or have sex normally.
Surgeons led by Dr. Hu Weilie at Guangzhou General Hospital performed the transplant in September 2005, a hospital spokesperson said Tuesday. The penis came from a 22-year-old brain-dead man whose parents agreed to donate his organ.
"There was a strong demand from both the patient and his wife" for a transplant, and the operation "was discussed again and again" and approved by the hospital's ethics committee, Hu writes in the journal.
Despite how shocking and radical the operation sounds, it involves standard microsurgery techniques to reconnect blood vessels and nerves.
From a medical point of view, "the main hurdle is the functional recovery," said Dr. W.P. Andrew Lee, chief of plastic surgery at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.
From arm and leg reattachments, it's known that nerve regrowth occurs at a rate of about 2.5 centimetres a month and often is insufficient to allow normal use, he said.
However, the ethical and psychological challenges in such cases can be even more paramount, as this and other recent transplants involving hands and faces illustrate.
"Some of the considerations for a penile transplant are the same as for a hand or face transplant," such as the need to take lifelong immune-suppressing drugs to prevent rejection of the new organ, Lee said.
The drugs can cause kidney and other damage, acceptable risks when the transplant involves a vital organ such as a liver or heart, but more ethically perilous when the operation is aimed at improving quality of life rather than extending it, Dr. Yoram Vardi, a neurology and urology specialist at the Rambam Medical Centre in Haifa, Israel, writes in an accompanying commentary in the urology journal.
Psychological issues are keenly important. The world's first hand transplant recipient stopped taking immune suppression drugs and later requested that the hand be amputated.
Lee recalled speaking with the recipient of the world's first double-hand transplant in France, who told him it took months for him to accept his new hands and stop referring to one as "it."
Fourteen days after the penis transplant, the recipient and his wife requested that the organ be removed "because of the wife's psychological rejection as well as the swollen shape of the transplanted penis," the surgeons report in the journal.
Lab examination showed no sign of rejection, the doctors report.
If adequate attention had been paid to the need for counselling and other psychological concerns surrounding the transplant, "the need for penile amputation could probably have been avoided," Vardi wrote in his commentary.
QUOTE
Chinese surgeons transplant penis then remove it due to psychological problems
By Marilynn Marchione
(AP) - Chinese doctors say they successfully transplanted a penis on a man who lost his own in an accident, but had to remove it two weeks later because of psychological problems experienced by the man and his wife.
The case appears to be the first such transplant reported in a medical journal: European Urology, published by the European Association of Urology.
The Chinese doctors could not be reached for comment, and their report does not explain how the 44-year-old man lost his penis. It says only that "an unfortunate traumatic accident" left him with a small stump, unable to urinate or have sex normally.
Surgeons led by Dr. Hu Weilie at Guangzhou General Hospital performed the transplant in September 2005, a hospital spokesperson said Tuesday. The penis came from a 22-year-old brain-dead man whose parents agreed to donate his organ.
"There was a strong demand from both the patient and his wife" for a transplant, and the operation "was discussed again and again" and approved by the hospital's ethics committee, Hu writes in the journal.
Despite how shocking and radical the operation sounds, it involves standard microsurgery techniques to reconnect blood vessels and nerves.
From a medical point of view, "the main hurdle is the functional recovery," said Dr. W.P. Andrew Lee, chief of plastic surgery at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.
From arm and leg reattachments, it's known that nerve regrowth occurs at a rate of about 2.5 centimetres a month and often is insufficient to allow normal use, he said.
However, the ethical and psychological challenges in such cases can be even more paramount, as this and other recent transplants involving hands and faces illustrate.
"Some of the considerations for a penile transplant are the same as for a hand or face transplant," such as the need to take lifelong immune-suppressing drugs to prevent rejection of the new organ, Lee said.
The drugs can cause kidney and other damage, acceptable risks when the transplant involves a vital organ such as a liver or heart, but more ethically perilous when the operation is aimed at improving quality of life rather than extending it, Dr. Yoram Vardi, a neurology and urology specialist at the Rambam Medical Centre in Haifa, Israel, writes in an accompanying commentary in the urology journal.
Psychological issues are keenly important. The world's first hand transplant recipient stopped taking immune suppression drugs and later requested that the hand be amputated.
Lee recalled speaking with the recipient of the world's first double-hand transplant in France, who told him it took months for him to accept his new hands and stop referring to one as "it."
Fourteen days after the penis transplant, the recipient and his wife requested that the organ be removed "because of the wife's psychological rejection as well as the swollen shape of the transplanted penis," the surgeons report in the journal.
Lab examination showed no sign of rejection, the doctors report.
If adequate attention had been paid to the need for counselling and other psychological concerns surrounding the transplant, "the need for penile amputation could probably have been avoided," Vardi wrote in his commentary.
SEATTLE - A Seattle man died after engaging in anal sex with a horse at a farm suspected of being a gathering place for people seeking to have sex with livestock, police said Friday.
The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that “the manner of death was accidental ... due to perforation of the colon,” a police spokesman said.
“The information that we have is that people would find this place via chat rooms on the Web,” said Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff’s Department.
Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state, Urquhart said that investigators were looking into whether the farm, located in Enumclaw, 40 miles southeast of Seattle, allowed sex with smaller animals that resulted in animal cruelty, which is a crime.
“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.
The horse involved in the incident was not harmed, and an autopsy of the unnamed man concluded that “the manner of death was accidental ... due to perforation of the colon,” a police spokesman said.
“The information that we have is that people would find this place via chat rooms on the Web,” said Sgt. John Urquhart of the King County Sheriff’s Department.
Although sex with animals is not illegal in Washington state, Urquhart said that investigators were looking into whether the farm, located in Enumclaw, 40 miles southeast of Seattle, allowed sex with smaller animals that resulted in animal cruelty, which is a crime.
“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.
Need more of these please. Especially if you have CNN/BBC News etc links and not just blog posts.
Taken from CNN, though it was much more enjoyable under it's original title "Naken Man On Crack Rescued From Alligator".
Florida man pulled from alligator's jaws
MIAMI, Florida (Reuters) -- Florida sheriff's deputies jumped into a dark lake and pulled a naked man from the jaws of an alligator early Wednesday, authorities said.
The man lost his left arm and had a broken right arm and major injuries to his left leg, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said. He was hospitalized in critical condition.
After several people reported hearing screams for help from Lake Parker in Lakeland at about 4 a.m. ET, deputies arrived to find the man in the alligator's grasp, the sheriff said. (Watch sheriff tell the story Video)
Four deputies waded through waist-deep mud, wrestled the man free and pulled him about 40 yards back to shore to a waiting ambulance, Judd said.
"He was totally naked," Judd said of the victim, identified as 45-year-old Adrian Apgar.
"He admitted that he'd been smoking crack cocaine. But still, it's a human life," Judd said at a news conference. "Our deputies don't ask questions, they respond and they save people."
It was unclear whether Apgar had gone swimming or if the creature had snatched him from the bank.
A 12-foot alligator was later plucked from the lake, and wildlife officials said it was believed to be the one that attacked Apgar.
Alligators throughout Florida have been blamed for about 275 attacks on humans, fewer than two dozen of them fatal, since the state began keeping records in 1948.
Wait, are you looking for funny news stories, or strickly animal sex?
QUOTE
Florida man pulled from alligator's jaws
MIAMI, Florida (Reuters) -- Florida sheriff's deputies jumped into a dark lake and pulled a naked man from the jaws of an alligator early Wednesday, authorities said.
The man lost his left arm and had a broken right arm and major injuries to his left leg, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said. He was hospitalized in critical condition.
After several people reported hearing screams for help from Lake Parker in Lakeland at about 4 a.m. ET, deputies arrived to find the man in the alligator's grasp, the sheriff said. (Watch sheriff tell the story Video)
Four deputies waded through waist-deep mud, wrestled the man free and pulled him about 40 yards back to shore to a waiting ambulance, Judd said.
"He was totally naked," Judd said of the victim, identified as 45-year-old Adrian Apgar.
"He admitted that he'd been smoking crack cocaine. But still, it's a human life," Judd said at a news conference. "Our deputies don't ask questions, they respond and they save people."
It was unclear whether Apgar had gone swimming or if the creature had snatched him from the bank.
A 12-foot alligator was later plucked from the lake, and wildlife officials said it was believed to be the one that attacked Apgar.
Alligators throughout Florida have been blamed for about 275 attacks on humans, fewer than two dozen of them fatal, since the state began keeping records in 1948.
Wait, are you looking for funny news stories, or strickly animal sex?
America's favorite new couple:
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Kid arrested for playing with Christmas present
POSTED: 9:45 a.m. EST, December 6, 2006
COLUMBIA, South Carolina (AP) -- A fed-up mother had her 12-year-old son arrested for allegedly rummaging through his great-grandmother's things and playing with his Christmas present early.
The mother called police Sunday after learning her son had disobeyed orders and repeatedly taken a Game Boy from its hiding place at his great-grandmother's house next door and played it.
He was arrested on petty larceny charges, taken to the police station in handcuffs and held until his mother picked him up after church. (Watch when the mom plans to give up custody of the boy Video )
"My grandmother went out of her way to lay away a toy and paid on this thing for months," said the boy's mother, Brandi Ervin. "It was only to teach my son a lesson. He's been going through life doing things ... and getting away with it."
Police did not release the boy's name.
The mother said that her son was found in the last year to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, but that his medicine does not seem to help.
She said he faces an expulsion hearing at his school Wednesday. Rock Hill Police Capt. Mark Bollinger said the boy took a swing at a police officer assigned to the school last month. He has been suspended from school since then.
The boy's case will be presented to Department of Juvenile Justice officials in York County, who will decide what happens to him, Bollinger said. His mother hopes he can attend a program that will finally scare him straight.
"It's not even about the Christmas present," she said. "I only want positive things out of it. ... There's no need for him to act this way. I'd rather call myself than someone else call for him doing something worse than this."
POSTED: 9:45 a.m. EST, December 6, 2006
COLUMBIA, South Carolina (AP) -- A fed-up mother had her 12-year-old son arrested for allegedly rummaging through his great-grandmother's things and playing with his Christmas present early.
The mother called police Sunday after learning her son had disobeyed orders and repeatedly taken a Game Boy from its hiding place at his great-grandmother's house next door and played it.
He was arrested on petty larceny charges, taken to the police station in handcuffs and held until his mother picked him up after church. (Watch when the mom plans to give up custody of the boy Video )
"My grandmother went out of her way to lay away a toy and paid on this thing for months," said the boy's mother, Brandi Ervin. "It was only to teach my son a lesson. He's been going through life doing things ... and getting away with it."
Police did not release the boy's name.
The mother said that her son was found in the last year to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, but that his medicine does not seem to help.
She said he faces an expulsion hearing at his school Wednesday. Rock Hill Police Capt. Mark Bollinger said the boy took a swing at a police officer assigned to the school last month. He has been suspended from school since then.
The boy's case will be presented to Department of Juvenile Justice officials in York County, who will decide what happens to him, Bollinger said. His mother hopes he can attend a program that will finally scare him straight.
"It's not even about the Christmas present," she said. "I only want positive things out of it. ... There's no need for him to act this way. I'd rather call myself than someone else call for him doing something worse than this."
Tell me again--why don't parents spank their kids anymore?
Goat to the chapel and we're gonna get married.
do we have a new edition of this thread or do we just keep posting in this one?
Chinese man to hang for ant scam
A Chinese company chairman has been sentenced to death for running a scam involving giant ants.
Wang Zhendong promised investors returns of up to 60% if they put money into the fictitious ant-breeding project, the court heard.
Wang, from Liaoning province, raised 3bn yuan ($390m; Ł200m) in three years, prosecutors said.
Fifteen other staff members were fined and given jail terms of between five and 10 years.
More than 10,000 investors signed 100,000 contracts with the company before the case was investigated in June 2005, Xinhua news agency reported.
Only 10m yuan was recovered before the case was brought to court, it said.
One investor committed suicide after realising he had been duped, according to the court.
Wang's actions also caused huge economic losses for investors and many subsequently suffered from depression, it added.
Ants are used in traditional medicines and remedies in parts of China.
A Chinese company chairman has been sentenced to death for running a scam involving giant ants.
Wang Zhendong promised investors returns of up to 60% if they put money into the fictitious ant-breeding project, the court heard.
Wang, from Liaoning province, raised 3bn yuan ($390m; Ł200m) in three years, prosecutors said.
Fifteen other staff members were fined and given jail terms of between five and 10 years.
More than 10,000 investors signed 100,000 contracts with the company before the case was investigated in June 2005, Xinhua news agency reported.
Only 10m yuan was recovered before the case was brought to court, it said.
One investor committed suicide after realising he had been duped, according to the court.
Wang's actions also caused huge economic losses for investors and many subsequently suffered from depression, it added.
Ants are used in traditional medicines and remedies in parts of China.
timeless shit right here:
“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.
wish i could find the story about a valpo man who took a chicken to the hotel to have sex. pretty sure he ended up, um...choking it to death.
QUOTE(iconoclast420 @ Nov 12 2006, 08:58 PM) [snapback]241426[/snapback]
“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.
wish i could find the story about a valpo man who took a chicken to the hotel to have sex. pretty sure he ended up, um...choking it to death.
QUOTE(bleach @ Feb 15 2007, 09:38 AM) [snapback]313264[/snapback]
timeless shit right here:
QUOTE(iconoclast420 @ Nov 12 2006, 08:58 PM) [snapback]241426[/snapback]
“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” Urquhart said.
wish i could find the story about a valpo man who took a chicken to the hotel to have sex. pretty sure he ended up, um...choking it to death.
No, you snap the neck when you reach orgasm so the chicken's death throes enhance your pleasure. Or so I've heard.
http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/B/BAT...-02-14-17-19-12
Feb 14, 5:19 PM EST
Batman Sighting Puts Schools on Lockdown
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. (AP) -- To an Arizona middle school, Batman! Three schools in the north Phoenix suburb of Cave Creek were on lockdown for about 45 minutes Wednesday morning after a student at Desert Arroyo Middle School reported seeing a person dressed as Batman run across campus, jump a fence and disappear into the desert, Scottsdale police Sgt. Mark Clark said.
The student described the person as 6 feet 3 inches tall and possibly male.
"We're assuming it was male, although they did have a mask on," Clark said.
Officers combed the desert around the middle school. A nearby elementary school and high school also were on lockdown as officers sought the caped crusader.
The result - no Batman.
"It's just one of those interesting little stories that we looked into but we couldn't find anyone," Clark said.
Nedda Shafir, a spokeswoman for the Cave Creek Unified School District, said putting all the schools on lockdown was a precautionary measure.
"We didn't want to take any chances," Shafir said. "We just don't want to put anyone at risk."
Feb 14, 5:19 PM EST
Batman Sighting Puts Schools on Lockdown
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. (AP) -- To an Arizona middle school, Batman! Three schools in the north Phoenix suburb of Cave Creek were on lockdown for about 45 minutes Wednesday morning after a student at Desert Arroyo Middle School reported seeing a person dressed as Batman run across campus, jump a fence and disappear into the desert, Scottsdale police Sgt. Mark Clark said.
The student described the person as 6 feet 3 inches tall and possibly male.
"We're assuming it was male, although they did have a mask on," Clark said.
Officers combed the desert around the middle school. A nearby elementary school and high school also were on lockdown as officers sought the caped crusader.
The result - no Batman.
"It's just one of those interesting little stories that we looked into but we couldn't find anyone," Clark said.
Nedda Shafir, a spokeswoman for the Cave Creek Unified School District, said putting all the schools on lockdown was a precautionary measure.
"We didn't want to take any chances," Shafir said. "We just don't want to put anyone at risk."
http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=568400
Man mistakes porn DVD as woman's cries for help
He faces charges after entering apartment with sword in tow
By DAVID DOEGE
Oconomowoc - Instincts took over, James Van Iveren says, when he rushed out his door to the sound of a woman being raped in an apartment above.
"It was a woman screaming," he recalled Tuesday. "She was screaming for help."
Sword in hand, he bounded up the stairs, kicked in the door and confronted a man who turned out to be alone - watching a pornographic movie.
"Now I feel stupid," Van Iveren said.
Worse yet, police seized his sword - a family heirloom - carted him to jail and referred the case to a prosecutor who charged Van Iveren with three criminal counts.
"This really is nothing," Van Iveren insisted, "nothing but a mistake."
Van Iveren's "mistake" unfolded on the morning of Feb. 12 when Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was listening to music in the apartment he shares with his mother behind Red & Bunny's Diner on S. Main St.
Suddenly, according to Van Iveren, the distinct cries of a woman pleading for help could be heard coming from the apartment above him. He tried putting them out of his mind at first, but when they persisted, Van Iveren decided something had to be done.
"I don't have a telephone," he said. "I couldn't call the police."
The cries seemed to be coming from the apartment of a tenant he barely knew, but that, Van Iveren said, didn't matter.
"It had nothing to do with him," he said. "I didn't even know if he was there. It was the woman. I thought there was a woman."
The woman, according to a criminal complaint, was on a DVD being watched by the neighbor, who later played part of the movie back for police to point out what he figured Van Iveren heard downstairs.
To Van Iveren, the neighbor's film sounded like a rape in progress.
"So I grabbed the cavalry sword and ran upstairs," he said. "I intended to hold it behind my back and knock.
"But I froze and instead, what happened happened."
According to the criminal complaint, the neighbor told police that Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning, damaging the frame and lock in the process.
"Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the 39-inch sword at the neighbor, according to the complaint. "Where is she?"
The neighbor told police that Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting that he'd heard a woman being raped. With the sword pointed at him, the neighbor led Van Iveren throughout the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone, according to the complaint.
Van Iveren said it wasn't nearly that dramatic.
"I walked in the front room and looked around," he said. "When I saw there was no woman, I left.
"I went downstairs and when I looked out the window, I saw the police had come, so I went out to tell them what happened."
Van Iveren insisted that he never threatened the neighbor with the sword.
"I had the sword extended," he said. "But that was all."
The neighbor wasn't home when a reporter visited the building Tuesday, and he could not be reached by telephone.
For his effort, Van Iveren was charged with criminal trespass while using a dangerous weapon, criminal damage to property while using a dangerous weapon and disorderly conduct while using a dangerous weapon, all criminal misdemeanors that carry a maximum total penalty of 33 months in jail.
"All of them are going to be dismissed," he predicted. "They have to.
"This was all just a big mistake."
The prosecutor who issued the charges could not be reached for comment Tuesday. Van Iveren, who was released on a signature bond when he was charged last week, is due to appear in court March 5.
Man mistakes porn DVD as woman's cries for help
He faces charges after entering apartment with sword in tow
By DAVID DOEGE
Oconomowoc - Instincts took over, James Van Iveren says, when he rushed out his door to the sound of a woman being raped in an apartment above.
"It was a woman screaming," he recalled Tuesday. "She was screaming for help."
Sword in hand, he bounded up the stairs, kicked in the door and confronted a man who turned out to be alone - watching a pornographic movie.
"Now I feel stupid," Van Iveren said.
Worse yet, police seized his sword - a family heirloom - carted him to jail and referred the case to a prosecutor who charged Van Iveren with three criminal counts.
"This really is nothing," Van Iveren insisted, "nothing but a mistake."
Van Iveren's "mistake" unfolded on the morning of Feb. 12 when Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was listening to music in the apartment he shares with his mother behind Red & Bunny's Diner on S. Main St.
Suddenly, according to Van Iveren, the distinct cries of a woman pleading for help could be heard coming from the apartment above him. He tried putting them out of his mind at first, but when they persisted, Van Iveren decided something had to be done.
"I don't have a telephone," he said. "I couldn't call the police."
The cries seemed to be coming from the apartment of a tenant he barely knew, but that, Van Iveren said, didn't matter.
"It had nothing to do with him," he said. "I didn't even know if he was there. It was the woman. I thought there was a woman."
The woman, according to a criminal complaint, was on a DVD being watched by the neighbor, who later played part of the movie back for police to point out what he figured Van Iveren heard downstairs.
To Van Iveren, the neighbor's film sounded like a rape in progress.
"So I grabbed the cavalry sword and ran upstairs," he said. "I intended to hold it behind my back and knock.
"But I froze and instead, what happened happened."
According to the criminal complaint, the neighbor told police that Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning, damaging the frame and lock in the process.
"Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the 39-inch sword at the neighbor, according to the complaint. "Where is she?"
The neighbor told police that Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting that he'd heard a woman being raped. With the sword pointed at him, the neighbor led Van Iveren throughout the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone, according to the complaint.
Van Iveren said it wasn't nearly that dramatic.
"I walked in the front room and looked around," he said. "When I saw there was no woman, I left.
"I went downstairs and when I looked out the window, I saw the police had come, so I went out to tell them what happened."
Van Iveren insisted that he never threatened the neighbor with the sword.
"I had the sword extended," he said. "But that was all."
The neighbor wasn't home when a reporter visited the building Tuesday, and he could not be reached by telephone.
For his effort, Van Iveren was charged with criminal trespass while using a dangerous weapon, criminal damage to property while using a dangerous weapon and disorderly conduct while using a dangerous weapon, all criminal misdemeanors that carry a maximum total penalty of 33 months in jail.
"All of them are going to be dismissed," he predicted. "They have to.
"This was all just a big mistake."
The prosecutor who issued the charges could not be reached for comment Tuesday. Van Iveren, who was released on a signature bond when he was charged last week, is due to appear in court March 5.
Sex attacks blamed on bat demon
Men in parts of Tanzania's main city, Dar es Salaam, are living in fear of a night-time sex attacker.
A BBC correspondent says the attacks are being blamed by some on a demon called "Popo Bawa" meaning winged bat.
Some men are staying awake or sleeping in groups outside their homes. Others are smearing themselves with pig's oil, believing this repels attacks.
Reports of the demon's existence have been common for many years in Zanzibar, where locals claim it originated.
The BBC's John Ngahyoma in Dar es Salaam says not many people actually believe that the demon exists and there have been no sightings.
But Mbaruku Ibrahim, who hails from Zanzibar, says the story of the demon is common there and people in his village on Pemba island sleep beside a huge fire outside their houses whenever it is said to appear.
The story goes that the bat is able to transform itself into a man at night and it has also been blamed for rapes of women.
Sheikh Yahya Hussein, a prominent astrologer in Tanzania, claims that the demon is a spirit that is unleashed by witches to torment their opponents.
Belief in witchcraft and superstitions is widespread in Tanzania, especially in rural areas.
Men in parts of Tanzania's main city, Dar es Salaam, are living in fear of a night-time sex attacker.
A BBC correspondent says the attacks are being blamed by some on a demon called "Popo Bawa" meaning winged bat.
Some men are staying awake or sleeping in groups outside their homes. Others are smearing themselves with pig's oil, believing this repels attacks.
Reports of the demon's existence have been common for many years in Zanzibar, where locals claim it originated.
The BBC's John Ngahyoma in Dar es Salaam says not many people actually believe that the demon exists and there have been no sightings.
But Mbaruku Ibrahim, who hails from Zanzibar, says the story of the demon is common there and people in his village on Pemba island sleep beside a huge fire outside their houses whenever it is said to appear.
The story goes that the bat is able to transform itself into a man at night and it has also been blamed for rapes of women.
Sheikh Yahya Hussein, a prominent astrologer in Tanzania, claims that the demon is a spirit that is unleashed by witches to torment their opponents.
Belief in witchcraft and superstitions is widespread in Tanzania, especially in rural areas.
Awesome
ok, admittedly not even close to the funniest story of the year, but also not worth creating a new thread for. more proof that old people shouldn't drive. but the gem is in the last paragraph.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6414003.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6414003.stm
QUOTE
An 80-year-old woman has crashed her car into a driving test centre in Florida, after being summoned to retake a road safety examination.
Therese Smith smashed into the office's waiting room, injuring 11 people.
It is thought she was moving out of her parking space but accelerated too hard, propelling her through an outside wall.
The accident was caught on surveillance camera and shows people rushing up to Ms Smith who was still buckled in her seat belt. No-one was seriously hurt.
The videotape also shows a man in a Superman costume walking around the car, but he did not stop to help the driver or any of the victims. His identity is unknown.
Therese Smith smashed into the office's waiting room, injuring 11 people.
It is thought she was moving out of her parking space but accelerated too hard, propelling her through an outside wall.
The accident was caught on surveillance camera and shows people rushing up to Ms Smith who was still buckled in her seat belt. No-one was seriously hurt.
The videotape also shows a man in a Superman costume walking around the car, but he did not stop to help the driver or any of the victims. His identity is unknown.
QUOTE(no magnets @ Feb 21 2007, 04:12 PM) [snapback]318812[/snapback]
Van Iveren's "mistake" unfolded on the morning of Feb. 12 when Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was listening to music in the apartment he shares with his mother behind Red & Bunny's Diner on S. Main St.
Lonely man brought donkey to hotel room, court told
QUOTE
A man who was found dressed in latex and handcuffs brought a donkey to his room in a Galway city centre hotel, because he was advised “to get out and meet people,” the local court heard last week.
Thomas Aloysius McCarney with an address in south Galway was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.
Solicitor for the accused Ms Sharon Fitzhenry said that her client had been through a difficult time lately and that his wife had left him and that his life had become increasingly lonely.
“Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey,” she said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like “Isn’t that right, Donkey?”
Supt John McBrearty told the court that Mr McCarney who had signed in as “ Mr Shrek” had told hotel staff that the donkey was a family pet and that this was believed by the hotel receptionist who the supt said was “young and hadn’t great English.”
Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of “super rabbit” which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city. The court was told that the donkey went berserk in the middle of the night and ran amok in the hotel corridor, forcing hotel staff to call the gardai.
McCarney was found in the room wearing a latex suit and handcuffs, the key to which the donkey is believed to have swallowed. He was removed to Mill St station after which it is said he was the subject of much mirth among the lads next door in The Galway Arms.
He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837. Other charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
Thomas Aloysius McCarney with an address in south Galway was charged with cruelty to animals, lewd and obscene behaviour, and with being a danger to himself when he appeared before the court on Friday. He was also charged with damage to a mini-bar in the room, but this charge was later dropped when the defendant said that it was the donkey who caused that damage.
Solicitor for the accused Ms Sharon Fitzhenry said that her client had been through a difficult time lately and that his wife had left him and that his life had become increasingly lonely.
“Mr McCarney has been attending counselling at which he was told that he would be advised to get out and meet people and do interesting things. It was this advice that saw him book into the city centre hotel with a donkey,” she said. She added that Mr McCarney also suffered from a fixation with the Shrek movies and could constantly be heard at work talking to himself saying things like “Isn’t that right, Donkey?”
Supt John McBrearty told the court that Mr McCarney who had signed in as “ Mr Shrek” had told hotel staff that the donkey was a family pet and that this was believed by the hotel receptionist who the supt said was “young and hadn’t great English.”
Receptionist Irina Legova said that Mr McCarney had told her that the donkey was a breed of “super rabbit” which he was bringing to a pet fair in the city. The court was told that the donkey went berserk in the middle of the night and ran amok in the hotel corridor, forcing hotel staff to call the gardai.
McCarney was found in the room wearing a latex suit and handcuffs, the key to which the donkey is believed to have swallowed. He was removed to Mill St station after which it is said he was the subject of much mirth among the lads next door in The Galway Arms.
He was fined €2,000 for bringing the donkey to the room under the Unlawful Accommodation of Donkeys Act 1837. Other charges were dropped due to lack of evidence.
The best-known goat in Sudan has died months after being "married" to a man in the South Sudan capital, Juba, the BBC has learned.
Local elders ordered a man found having sex with the goat, called Rose, to pay a dowry and "marry" her last February. "The idea was to publicly embarrass the man," says Tom Rhodes, editor of the Juba Post, which first ran the story. The BBC's story of the "wedding" caught the public imagination and became one of the best read internet stories. Rose had a male kid - "not a human one" - Mr Rhodes said, hastily. Charles Tombe said he was drunk at the time but has since refused to comment on the issue. The kid is owned by Mr Tombe.
Sense of humour'
Rose, black and white, is believed to have died after choking on a plastic bag she swallowed as she was eating scraps on the streets of Juba. More than a year after the BBC story was first published, it is still picked up by various web forums and recently got more than 100,000 page views for five successive days. Over time, it has received several million hits - making it historically one of the biggest-hitting stories the BBC News website has published. A Google search uncovers more than 1m different web pages, based on the same story. Mr Rhodes, a Briton who helped found the Juba Post in 2004, was shocked when he learned how many people around the world had read the story his newspaper had originally published as a short, light-hearted account and not even bothered to publish on its website. "Wow - what have we done? We have triggered a monster," he said. He said that he had seen that it occasionally returned in the BBC's "Most read stories" and was worried that he would have trouble with South Sudanese, accusing his paper of tarnishing the image of the region - now trying to rebuild after 21 years of war.
But he says he has not come across any such anger. "It doesn't portray Sudan in a bad light - it shows the Sudanese have a sense of humour," he says, referring to the elders' original punishment. He has, however, had people come up and say to him: "Oh, you're the goat man." Mr Rhodes explains that South Sudan remains a conservative society. If a man is caught sleeping with a girl, he is ordered to marry her immediately in order to save her honour and that of her family, he says.
This was the basis for Mr Tombe's punishment. After the hearing, Mr Tombe was ordered to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50, at the time). Afterwards, he left with the goat, not quite hand-in-hand, more hand-in-hoof, to his home in the Hai Malakal suburb of Juba - and not in Upper Nile State as we originally reported
Local elders ordered a man found having sex with the goat, called Rose, to pay a dowry and "marry" her last February. "The idea was to publicly embarrass the man," says Tom Rhodes, editor of the Juba Post, which first ran the story. The BBC's story of the "wedding" caught the public imagination and became one of the best read internet stories. Rose had a male kid - "not a human one" - Mr Rhodes said, hastily. Charles Tombe said he was drunk at the time but has since refused to comment on the issue. The kid is owned by Mr Tombe.
Sense of humour'
Rose, black and white, is believed to have died after choking on a plastic bag she swallowed as she was eating scraps on the streets of Juba. More than a year after the BBC story was first published, it is still picked up by various web forums and recently got more than 100,000 page views for five successive days. Over time, it has received several million hits - making it historically one of the biggest-hitting stories the BBC News website has published. A Google search uncovers more than 1m different web pages, based on the same story. Mr Rhodes, a Briton who helped found the Juba Post in 2004, was shocked when he learned how many people around the world had read the story his newspaper had originally published as a short, light-hearted account and not even bothered to publish on its website. "Wow - what have we done? We have triggered a monster," he said. He said that he had seen that it occasionally returned in the BBC's "Most read stories" and was worried that he would have trouble with South Sudanese, accusing his paper of tarnishing the image of the region - now trying to rebuild after 21 years of war.
But he says he has not come across any such anger. "It doesn't portray Sudan in a bad light - it shows the Sudanese have a sense of humour," he says, referring to the elders' original punishment. He has, however, had people come up and say to him: "Oh, you're the goat man." Mr Rhodes explains that South Sudan remains a conservative society. If a man is caught sleeping with a girl, he is ordered to marry her immediately in order to save her honour and that of her family, he says.
This was the basis for Mr Tombe's punishment. After the hearing, Mr Tombe was ordered to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50, at the time). Afterwards, he left with the goat, not quite hand-in-hand, more hand-in-hoof, to his home in the Hai Malakal suburb of Juba - and not in Upper Nile State as we originally reported
Pet camel kills woman 'trying to have sex'
By staff and agencies
Last Updated: 4:01am BST 20/08/2007
An Australian woman was killed by a pet camel given to her as a 60th birthday present, police have said.
The woman, whose name was not released, was killed at her family’s sheep and cattle ranch near Mitchell, 350 miles west of the Queensland state capital Brisbane, Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory said.
The 10-month-old male camel — weighing about 330 lbs — knocked the woman to the ground, lay on top of her, then exhibited what police suspect was mating behaviour, Mr Gregory said.
“I’d say it’s probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing,” he said, adding the camel had almost suffocated the family’s pet goat by straddling it.
Chris Hill, a camel expert, said he had no doubt the camel’s behaviour was sexual.
Mr Hill, who has offered camel rides to tourists for 20 years, said young camels were not aggressive, but could be dangerous if treated as pets without discipline.
The woman was given the camel by her husband and daughter. “She had a love of exotic pets,” Mr Gregory said.
The fate of the camel was not known
By staff and agencies
Last Updated: 4:01am BST 20/08/2007
An Australian woman was killed by a pet camel given to her as a 60th birthday present, police have said.
The woman, whose name was not released, was killed at her family’s sheep and cattle ranch near Mitchell, 350 miles west of the Queensland state capital Brisbane, Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory said.
The 10-month-old male camel — weighing about 330 lbs — knocked the woman to the ground, lay on top of her, then exhibited what police suspect was mating behaviour, Mr Gregory said.
“I’d say it’s probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing,” he said, adding the camel had almost suffocated the family’s pet goat by straddling it.
Chris Hill, a camel expert, said he had no doubt the camel’s behaviour was sexual.
Mr Hill, who has offered camel rides to tourists for 20 years, said young camels were not aggressive, but could be dangerous if treated as pets without discipline.
The woman was given the camel by her husband and daughter. “She had a love of exotic pets,” Mr Gregory said.
The fate of the camel was not known
This seemed appropriate in this thread... 
Bears eat man at beer festival
BELGRADE, Serbia (Reuters) -- A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.
The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.
"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.
Local media reported that police found several mobile phones inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans.
Bears eat man at beer festival
BELGRADE, Serbia (Reuters) -- A 23-year old Serb was found dead and half-eaten in the bear cage of Belgrade Zoo at the weekend during the annual beer festival.
The man was found naked, with his clothes lying intact inside the cage. Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.
"There's a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage," zoo director Vuk Bojovic told Reuters.
Local media reported that police found several mobile phones inside the cage, as well as bricks, stones and beer cans.
What's wrong with today? I know it's August but silly season is motoring well.
Vibrator robber jailed over raid
A robber who held up a bookmaker's shop in Leicester with his girlfriend's vibrator has been jailed.
Nicki Jex, 27, of Braunstone, Leicester, hid the sex toy in a carrier bag pretending it was a gun, Leicester Crown Court heard.
The manager at Ladbrokes in Narborough Road handed over more than Ł600 in cash when he pointed it at her on 27 December 2006, the court heard.
On Monday, Jex, who pleaded guilty to robbery, was jailed for five years.
Sentencing him, Judge Philip Head said: "It's right to record that you did not have a firearm but you pretended you had and intended that those you confronted believed that you did, and it must have been truly terrifying for them at the time."
The robbery was captured by CCTV inside the shop.
'Considerable courage'
As Jex left with more than Ł613 in till contents and other money, he was followed outside by the shop's last remaining customer Wayne Vakani the court heard.
"The defendant pointed the vibrator in the bag at Mr Vakani and warned him to back off," said Tim Palmer, prosecuting.
"Mr Vakani then kept a discreet distance but kept an eye on the defendant and watched where he went."
The court heard that it was thanks to this customer that the defendant's hat, worn during the robbery and containing his DNA, was discovered nearby.
Initially Jex denied any involvement but later changed his plea.
He was a drug addict with a string of previous convictions dating back to February 2002, the court heard.
In mitigation, Phil Gibbs, defending, said Jex, a qualified chef and engineer, had a "fragile" state of mind.
He told the court: "One can be thankful that the item he had wasn't a firearm.
"Frankly, he didn't care less what happened to him at that time. He was falling into the abyss and that's the root cause of drugs."
Mr Vakani was awarded Ł500 by Judge Head for his "very considerable courage".
Vibrator robber jailed over raid
A robber who held up a bookmaker's shop in Leicester with his girlfriend's vibrator has been jailed.
Nicki Jex, 27, of Braunstone, Leicester, hid the sex toy in a carrier bag pretending it was a gun, Leicester Crown Court heard.
The manager at Ladbrokes in Narborough Road handed over more than Ł600 in cash when he pointed it at her on 27 December 2006, the court heard.
On Monday, Jex, who pleaded guilty to robbery, was jailed for five years.
Sentencing him, Judge Philip Head said: "It's right to record that you did not have a firearm but you pretended you had and intended that those you confronted believed that you did, and it must have been truly terrifying for them at the time."
The robbery was captured by CCTV inside the shop.
'Considerable courage'
As Jex left with more than Ł613 in till contents and other money, he was followed outside by the shop's last remaining customer Wayne Vakani the court heard.
"The defendant pointed the vibrator in the bag at Mr Vakani and warned him to back off," said Tim Palmer, prosecuting.
"Mr Vakani then kept a discreet distance but kept an eye on the defendant and watched where he went."
The court heard that it was thanks to this customer that the defendant's hat, worn during the robbery and containing his DNA, was discovered nearby.
Initially Jex denied any involvement but later changed his plea.
He was a drug addict with a string of previous convictions dating back to February 2002, the court heard.
In mitigation, Phil Gibbs, defending, said Jex, a qualified chef and engineer, had a "fragile" state of mind.
He told the court: "One can be thankful that the item he had wasn't a firearm.
"Frankly, he didn't care less what happened to him at that time. He was falling into the abyss and that's the root cause of drugs."
Mr Vakani was awarded Ł500 by Judge Head for his "very considerable courage".
Daft burglar writes name on wall
The two youths vandalised a children's campsite Peter Addison, of Heaton Mersey, Stockport, and his friend Mark Ridgeway of Poynton, Cheshire, smashed crockery and let off fire extinguishers.
Addison received a conditional discharge. Ridgeway, 18, must carry out 60 hours unpaid work.
Both pleaded guilty to burglary at Macclesfield Magistrates' Court.
Addison was ordered to pay Ł725 compensation and Ł20 costs. Ridgeway has to pay Ł20 costs.
There are some pretty stupid criminals around, but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit 
Inspector Gareth Woods
Apart from writing his own name in black marker pen at the Toc H centre in Adlington, Cheshire, Addison also left his gang's name on the wall - The Adlington Massiv!.
The teenager vandalised a Garden Birds of Britain poster by adding "R Gay".
He then left a final message to the campsite owners - "thanks for the stay".
Police found him after entering his name in a computer system.
Inspector Gareth Woods, of Cheshire Police, said: "This crime is up there with the dumbest of all in the criminal league table.
"There are some pretty stupid criminals around, but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit.
"The daftness of this lad certainly made our job a lot easier."
The two youths vandalised a children's campsite Peter Addison, of Heaton Mersey, Stockport, and his friend Mark Ridgeway of Poynton, Cheshire, smashed crockery and let off fire extinguishers.
Addison received a conditional discharge. Ridgeway, 18, must carry out 60 hours unpaid work.
Both pleaded guilty to burglary at Macclesfield Magistrates' Court.
Addison was ordered to pay Ł725 compensation and Ł20 costs. Ridgeway has to pay Ł20 costs.
There are some pretty stupid criminals around, but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit Inspector Gareth Woods
Apart from writing his own name in black marker pen at the Toc H centre in Adlington, Cheshire, Addison also left his gang's name on the wall - The Adlington Massiv!.
The teenager vandalised a Garden Birds of Britain poster by adding "R Gay".
He then left a final message to the campsite owners - "thanks for the stay".
Police found him after entering his name in a computer system.
Inspector Gareth Woods, of Cheshire Police, said: "This crime is up there with the dumbest of all in the criminal league table.
"There are some pretty stupid criminals around, but to leave your own name at the scene of the crime takes the biscuit.
"The daftness of this lad certainly made our job a lot easier."
Flatulence ban for club pensioner
A social club in Devon has banned a 77-year-old man from breaking wind while indoors.
Maurice Fox received a letter from Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Paignton asking him to consider his actions, which "disgusted" members.
Mr Fox, a club regular for 20 years, said: "I am happy to oblige them, there is no problem. I do get a bit windy - I am an old fart now."
He said he had to leave the club about three times a night.
In its letter to the retired bus driver, the club said: "After several complaints regarding your continual breaking of wind (farting) while in the club, would you please consider that your actions are considered disgusting to fellow members and visitors.
"You sit close to the front door, so would you please go outside when required. So please take heed of this request."
Mr Fox, who lives in nearby Princess Street, said the letter was a surprise because he had been given no verbal warning.
"I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell.
"I do not think it [the letter] is unreasonable, you get ladies in there."
Mr Fox also spends two days a week at the nearby Palace Place club, but said he had no complaints about flatulence there.
The club said there was no one available for comment.
A social club in Devon has banned a 77-year-old man from breaking wind while indoors.
Maurice Fox received a letter from Kirkham Street Sports and Social Club in Paignton asking him to consider his actions, which "disgusted" members.
Mr Fox, a club regular for 20 years, said: "I am happy to oblige them, there is no problem. I do get a bit windy - I am an old fart now."
He said he had to leave the club about three times a night.
In its letter to the retired bus driver, the club said: "After several complaints regarding your continual breaking of wind (farting) while in the club, would you please consider that your actions are considered disgusting to fellow members and visitors.
"You sit close to the front door, so would you please go outside when required. So please take heed of this request."
Mr Fox, who lives in nearby Princess Street, said the letter was a surprise because he had been given no verbal warning.
"I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell.
"I do not think it [the letter] is unreasonable, you get ladies in there."
Mr Fox also spends two days a week at the nearby Palace Place club, but said he had no complaints about flatulence there.
The club said there was no one available for comment.
A pair of twins who were adopted by separate families as babies got married without knowing they were brother and sister, a peer told the House of Lords.
A court annulled the British couple's union after they discovered their true relationship, Lord Alton said. The peer - who was told of the case by a High Court judge involved - said the twins felt an "inevitable attraction". He said the case showed how important it was for children to be able to find out about their biological parents. Details of the identities of the twins involved have been kept secret, but Lord Alton said the pair did not realise they were related until after their marriage.
'Truth will out'
The former Liberal Democrat MP raised the couple's case during a House of Lords debate on the Human Fertility and Embryology Bill in December. "They were never told that they were twins," he told the Lords. "They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation." He told the BBC News website that their story raises the wider issue of the importance of strengthening the rights of children to know the identities of their biological parents. "If you start trying to conceal someone's identity, sooner or later the truth will out," he said. "And if you don't know you are biologically related to someone, you may become attracted to them and tragedies like this may occur." Pam Hodgkins, chief executive officer of the charity Adults Affected by Adoption (NORCAP) said there had been previous cases of separated siblings being attracted to each other. "We have a resistance, a very strong incest taboo where we are aware that someone is a biological relative," she said. "But when we are unaware of that relationship, we are naturally drawn to people who are quite similar to ourselves.
'Incredibly rare'
"And of course there is unlikely to be anyone more similar to any individual than their sibling." Mo O'Reilly, director of child placement for the British Association for Adoption and Fostering, said the situation was traumatic for the people involved, but incredibly rare. "Thirty or 40 years ago it would have been more likely that twins be separated and, brought up without knowledge of each other," she said. Today, however, adopted children grow up with a greater knowledge of their birth families - and organisations try to place brothers and sisters together. If that were not possible, the siblings would still have some form of contact with each other. "This sad case illustrates why, over the last 20-30 years, the shift to openness in adoption was so important," Ms O'Reilly added.
A court annulled the British couple's union after they discovered their true relationship, Lord Alton said. The peer - who was told of the case by a High Court judge involved - said the twins felt an "inevitable attraction". He said the case showed how important it was for children to be able to find out about their biological parents. Details of the identities of the twins involved have been kept secret, but Lord Alton said the pair did not realise they were related until after their marriage.
'Truth will out'
The former Liberal Democrat MP raised the couple's case during a House of Lords debate on the Human Fertility and Embryology Bill in December. "They were never told that they were twins," he told the Lords. "They met later in life and felt an inevitable attraction, and the judge had to deal with the consequences of the marriage that they entered into and all the issues of their separation." He told the BBC News website that their story raises the wider issue of the importance of strengthening the rights of children to know the identities of their biological parents. "If you start trying to conceal someone's identity, sooner or later the truth will out," he said. "And if you don't know you are biologically related to someone, you may become attracted to them and tragedies like this may occur." Pam Hodgkins, chief executive officer of the charity Adults Affected by Adoption (NORCAP) said there had been previous cases of separated siblings being attracted to each other. "We have a resistance, a very strong incest taboo where we are aware that someone is a biological relative," she said. "But when we are unaware of that relationship, we are naturally drawn to people who are quite similar to ourselves.
'Incredibly rare'
"And of course there is unlikely to be anyone more similar to any individual than their sibling." Mo O'Reilly, director of child placement for the British Association for Adoption and Fostering, said the situation was traumatic for the people involved, but incredibly rare. "Thirty or 40 years ago it would have been more likely that twins be separated and, brought up without knowledge of each other," she said. Today, however, adopted children grow up with a greater knowledge of their birth families - and organisations try to place brothers and sisters together. If that were not possible, the siblings would still have some form of contact with each other. "This sad case illustrates why, over the last 20-30 years, the shift to openness in adoption was so important," Ms O'Reilly added.
QUOTE(MitchellStirling @ Sep 26 2006, 03:34 PM) [snapback]203965[/snapback]
Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up."
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/4748292.stm
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up."
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/4748292.stm
all good things must come to an end, i suppose. sudan's famous goat "wife" dies.
See post 28.
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html%...6in_page_id%3D2
Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
Dennis Bueller lit chemical fumes in toilet and blew himself through window
November 17, 2008 12:00am
A SCHOOLBOY playing with his dad's lighter was blown out of his toilet and through a window when the lavatory exploded seconds after he had sprayed the room with air freshener.
The toilet turned into an orange fireball when Dennis Bueller, 13, began playing with a lighter after he sprayed the downstairs WC in his home.
"I sprayed the toilet because it smelled," Dennis told The Daily Mail newspaper in the UK.
"Then I began fiddling with a lighter my dad left in there and suddenly there was this big orange whoosh! of flame. I woke up outside with my clothes burned off me and smelling like a barbecue."
The boy, from Recklinghausen, in North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany, was rushed to hospital and later transferred to a specialist burns unit. He suffered burns over his face, arms, legs and upper body and will need months of treatment.
His father Artur Bueller said: "Poor Dennis. When the doctors have to change his bandages he has to be knocked out, the pain is so great. He said the downstairs loo smelled but I think he realises he was a bit dim in playing with a lighter."
November 17, 2008 12:00am
A SCHOOLBOY playing with his dad's lighter was blown out of his toilet and through a window when the lavatory exploded seconds after he had sprayed the room with air freshener.
The toilet turned into an orange fireball when Dennis Bueller, 13, began playing with a lighter after he sprayed the downstairs WC in his home.
"I sprayed the toilet because it smelled," Dennis told The Daily Mail newspaper in the UK.
"Then I began fiddling with a lighter my dad left in there and suddenly there was this big orange whoosh! of flame. I woke up outside with my clothes burned off me and smelling like a barbecue."
The boy, from Recklinghausen, in North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany, was rushed to hospital and later transferred to a specialist burns unit. He suffered burns over his face, arms, legs and upper body and will need months of treatment.
His father Artur Bueller said: "Poor Dennis. When the doctors have to change his bandages he has to be knocked out, the pain is so great. He said the downstairs loo smelled but I think he realises he was a bit dim in playing with a lighter."
This one was a mix of funny and unfortunate.
I keep imagining the scene from Joe Dirt.. I'm your sister, I'm your sister...
Unknowing Twins Married
I keep imagining the scene from Joe Dirt.. I'm your sister, I'm your sister...
Unknowing Twins Married
QUOTE (Mitchell @ Nov 1 2008, 11:55 AM) 
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html%...6in_page_id%3D2
Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
The story is good and all, but what really makes it is the stock potato photo accompanying the article.
Yes, I do like that kind of thing.
Also when sex with an animal is mentioned and the animal has it's identity protected.
Also when sex with an animal is mentioned and the animal has it's identity protected.
I don't know about you guys but I got a chuckle out of this one.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/b...0,6107192.story
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/b...0,6107192.story
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