Seriously - I love dogs. Really. But I know they are a HUGE pain in the ass to train. Which is why I don't own one.

Unfortunately, 99% of the dog-owning population are - let's face it - complete morons. They seem to think that a dog = a cat in terms of owner responsibility. Cats, after all, are pretty self-cleaning + quiet animals by nature, whereas dogs require training and so forth. Well, my neighbors 2 doors down have a little arf machine that they can't control, so they tend to just stick him in the yard and let him bark all. the. time. Now, I work until 6 am and lemme tell ya, I can't recall the last time I got to sleep more than 3 hours straight before the little monster starts arffin'. Arf! Arf! Arf! It's so constant that my other neighbor's parrot now emulates the bark. It's insane.

I've asked them to keep it down, and they act like it's supposed to be that way. Like they're too busy to train the animal, and I should watch my step or there'll be trouble. Really! Plus they're all ex-military nutcases who pretty much think the non-military population owes them a huge debt - you know the kind of people I'm talkin' about. If this was any other town they'd be livin' in a trailer park, but you can get a nice house in Vegas for cheap... (disclaimer to other ex-military readers: I know that most of y'all are good, successful people - 2/3 of my family + co-workers are ex-military - but you know there are always those who take a fearsome pride in the least amount of authority given to them and tend to go too far with the ol' ego - right?)

Christ, I'm losing my mind, here. I've called animal control, I've called the police, I've called the housing association and nothing's being done. I am now thinking of moving out of my lovely home just to escape this fucking bark machine - now how unfair + whacked is THAT?

Anyway - I just wanted to vent. I know it's not really the dog's fault - but I don't know how much more of this I can take. If these motherfuckers don't get their shit together over this dog - I will move. As big of a pain in the ass as that is, I just want to get the fuck away from these completly inconsiderate neighbors and their fucking woof box from Hell.

hot dogs dipped in antifreeze.


you didn't hear that from me...

JASMINE!! That's horrible!!! Maybe I'll think twice before I have you walk Cera again.

Considering it's not the dogs fucking fault, I hope you're suggesting feeding that to his neighbors, which is what I would do.

Ha, and I thought I hated my neighbors dogs. I love dogs, but I have 3 yip dogs that never get walked, bark for 20 minutes over ANY noise and are usually put out at 5 AM although that has slowed due to many neighbor complaints.

Just remember its not the dog, but idiot owners.

See if you can get your neighbors together to get the dogs quiet.

right on.

Seriously though, as a dog owner, these are the kind of stories that piss me off. It's so hard for me to find apartments because idiots like these ruin it for the rest of us. Same goes for the people who don't clean up after their pets. don't be lazy assholes. clean that shit up!

Take a joke. Red, you especially. I feel bad killing the spiders and centipedes in my house and I hate those.

Dogs are like children. They're only as good as they're taught. I would call the cops every day until the owners do something about the dog. When I was a kid, we had neighbors with four loud junkyard dogs. We just called and called until the neighbors were so sick of the cops coming by, they stopped leaving their dogs out at ungodly hours.

I know you were joking, pumpkin. so was I.

I wasn't going to clean up Cera's poo the other night because there was a hole in the bag I grabbed. Then I realized that if anyone saw me do it and then saw Cera on another night, you might get yelled at.

Good Jasmine.

(what are you doing now, btw? pm me and tell me all the gory details)

haha. good jasmine, indeed. I probably would have ended up in a big fight with someone who i thought was totally crazy.

I'm surprised the police/HOA haven't done anything. I'd make a call to the police and write a complaint to the HOA every single time it happens--even daily. There has to be a noise ordinance that you can insist be enforced...I've heard of police issuing multiple citations, which usually causes the owners to deal with the problem. Read your HOA CC&Rs & demand they be enforced. Write to your city council rep & the mayor & chief of police. If they still don't act, show up at a council meeting and make a public comment--they want to look good so they should try to fix things then at least.

When I was 12, my uncle actually did that, except it wasn't hot dogs, it was a "meatball" that contained cut up springs and tacs. The fact that I still remember it says something.

I have a dog. He barks a lot because he's a young lab and wants attention all the time. It doesn't matter how much we "train" him, he's gonna bark. But, we are very conscious of this and always make sure that we don't let him bark too much outside.

This has nothing to do with training the dog, and everything to do with your neighbors being inconsiderate bastards. And, further, you can train dogs all day and night, and some are going to just bark if it is in their nature.

What is the breed and how old?

I would suggest to them to get a "non-barking" device. We considered it with our Lab, who is a young maniacal dog. But, instead we work with him and bring him inside, run him a lot, etc.

But, we did consider purchasing a "non-barking" device. They sell the kind that you can put into a cage and collars, I believe. It somehow makes the dog uncomfortable while it barks, and people I spoke to swore by them.

I'd calmly suggest that they buy one to them.

As someone who has spent a fairly decent amount of time working with dogs with behavorial disorders, I dont think you can necessarily pin it to "bad owners". to be honest, in my experience, most of the time, yes, it is inexperienced, unwilling owners who let the dog do whatever they want. however, as all dogs have different personalities and different behavioral quirks, i dont think its fair to say "well i own dogs and people who dont control a barking dog are giant assholes".

i have worked as an adoption counselor at more than one animal shelter, and there are plenty of dogs who will always have behavioral disorders, yet are still lovable, adoptable pets. i didnt really read this all that carefully, because right now, im on my 3 hour of writing my older brothers paper and my 3rd glass of wine, but i would highly suggest talking to the owners. seeing if they are attempting to work with their dog. no dogs are 'perfect'. thats why they are all such lovable animals. it takes a long time to train a dog, and 'fix' all those awful, terrible, 'there cant be anything worse' barking disorders, but its worth a shot.

i hope i dont reread this and find that you talked to the owners already. otherwise this post is worthless. but fuck editing. fuck you editing feature.\\\


hahaha i shall edit: (but not in response to anything anyone has posted): when you work in animal shletlers, a big issue is adoptability. there are so many great dogs in animal shelters, they may be barkers, they may be diggers, etc. but still great dogs. they key to working in an animal shelter is being to accept the fact that dogs will get adopted to mediocre families. not all dogs will get adopted to people who will take as good of care of them as you will. but they will still get adopted to families who will take care of them, and love them enough for them to stay alive and not get destroyed. maybe that makes me more lenient towards dogs with a slight, not terribly life threatening behavioral problem. perhaps that makesme think dogs like "barkers" arent all that big of deal. its not like they bit your face off (har har god that hurts)

OK, ok, I know it's not the dog's fault. In fact, I told myself that the first few times it started. But you know, a year later, no improvement... So I find it doesn't matter how much I rationalize it out that it's the owners I'm really pissed about - the damn dog's bark distracts me from even forming coherent arguments.

And I admit - they're all much bigger than I am. Not to sound like a coward but it IS a bit intimidating, you know? A war with these type-A personalities could get scary.

However, it seems like my neighborhood is starting to slide a little - most of the houses are being rented out, and most renters (I myself am renting) tend to treat the house as a big apartment and never really take care of the place as much as when you actually care about property value. Not sayin' that I'm better than they are - there are many changes I'd make to my house if I actually owned the property (likesay, replace the damn lawn with desert landscaping + a hot tub) but there's no financial benefit to me, the renter. So things slide a little more every year...

I keep it clean tho, and I try to take care of it as if I did own the property.

Yeah, I should move. I want to move. I need to pay off a few more bills + buy a house ASAP. In a quiet neighborhood. And soon. I want a room that I can turn into a lounge for all my friends to hang out.

Goddamn it - I'm turning into a grownup.

my condolences.

I still think it's the owners fault in the sense that they are just leaving the dog outside and allowing it to bark all day. There's no need for that. It's inconsiderate. If they know the dog is barking they should bring it inside.

FUCK. YES.

Ever since we got The Goo a couple months ago, I've been treading through the grassy areas of our complex much more often. There are crap stations all over the place here, with bags and disposal cans, but some asshats still can't be bothered. The poop is bad enough -- recently though, I've noticed a large pile of orange vomit that seems to reappear around the same area every couple of days. I tell you what -- I'm a reasonable man, but that shit's just horrible. The Goo seems to look forward to it now and I have to alter my fucking walk to avoid her dunking her little face in it. If I ever see that puking animal and their owner, I'll fucking spear them both. I printed out some signs yesterday to convey my frustration with these pigfuckers. There's no way I could say what I wanted to say, but I settled on "START PICKING UP YOUR DOG'S POOP," centered and in a nice large font. I'll tack a couple up by the mailboxes tomorrow.

unless its and Irish Wolfhound or a Mastiff or something like that, then youd probaly want to leave it out as much as possible. well....irish wolfhounds shouldnt be left out too too much or really any dog for that matter but whatever im rambling youg et the point big dogs stay outside a lot.

is the dog REALLY barking every minute of the daylight hours? or just enough to piss you off while you sleep. you said you work until 6am, implying you sleep during the day. and...im sorry, but those daytime hours can be the most exicitng hours of the day for a dog. especially early morning, early morning is peak bird activitiy, peak rabbit acitivity, all those little critters, plus the newspaper guy?! i mean....COME ON! WHATS NOT TO LOVE ABOUT THE MORNING WHEN YOU ARE A DOG>!

make the owners muffins and coffee or something. BLUEBERRY MUFFINS! or make anything cooked on "paula deens home cooking". that would win anyone over. and then be like "WHAT A WONDERFUL DOG?! DO YOU TRAIN IT?" and then transition into the barking thing. as difficult as type a personalities may be, there are ways to make the best of any situation to not start a fight. or move out and leave flaming bags of their own dogs poop on their porch.

For years, my next-door-neighbors' dog would bark 24/7 when they weren't home. He barked exactly the same, every 5 seconds: ar-ar-woooOOOOoooo! ar-ar-woooOOOOoooo! I'd turn up my music or go to a part of the house where I couldn't hear him, but at night it did make me crazy. After a few neighbors complained to them they put him in the house when they went to work. I could hear him sometimes, still barking every 5 seconds, but it was faint enough to be ignored.

I live two blocks from a train that runs about every 20 minutes (and blows its whistle) 24/7. I wish I could give it a hot dog dipped in anti-freeze or a "meatball," but, since I can't, when I sleep I have as much white noise as possible, including two fans running, and earplugs.

seriously. noise happens. my roommate used to be really loud when having sex with his girlfriend. (or his girlfriend was really loud). it was really funny the day the girlfriends older brother visited and slept on the couch, cuz he knew what was up. and he felt weird. but fans, headphones, loud pc's (cuz pc's suck) etc. work really well when drowning noise out. i mean, dogs bark, trains run, and roommates have sex. ya just gotta deal with it.

I hope he's dead now.

Yes, he is. He was a great uncle (as in "uncle of uncle"), so was about 70 when it happened. I think it was reflective of the times and culture (rural northern Wisconsin in the mid-seventies), that people were more calloused and self-centered with less animal empathy.