I was friends with a pair of identical twins that lived next door, they ratted the old boy out. When I asked my Ma about it she caved like a Chinese mine. If I was her, I'd at least would've attempted to call the twin's credibility into question. But that's me.

my mom lit the Hanukkah candles

When I was 7, I noticed all our presents smelled like cedar.

When I was 8, I pried open the chainlink and padlock wrapped around the knobs to the cedar closet in the basement. Ta da! Presents!

That same Christmas, I got a Barbie makeover head taken away for looking pointedly at my dad and saying, "Thanks, Santa."

this is a good story because detective work is involved

And also because a Barbie makeover head is involved.

When i saw my mom putting out all the toy's in the living room at like 2am in the morning.

I caught my dad eating the cookies I left out for Santa.

you mean gentiles really believe that crap? hahahahahaha

I was the older of two kids and had to keep the terrible truth secret for a couple years. I found out when I overheard my parents talking about gifts and wrapping, so I started interrogating them. They gave up the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause, all at once. I was floored.

So I had to ask : "Does God really exist?" And my parents were SHOCKED to hear me question that belief. Ha ! The line of inquiry is pretty much the same, right ? - trying to prove the unseen and unseeable...... Anyway I think I've ruined another Xmas by injecting religion into it. Dammit.
My parents would scold me again if they were here.

Happ'n' Holidays to Everyone
(Santa goes down the chimney because it soots him well)

I like this. I'm a huge sucker for dad-jokes.

I had 2 older sisters. When I was 4, one or both presented me w/ the schoolyard rumor that parents were Santa (+ Tooth Fairy + Easter Bunny). Late that Xmas eve, I awoke and they (mom & dad) had set barricades in the hall so I couldnt' easily see into the living room. I peeked anyway and there they were, wrapping presents under the tree. For their sake, I pretended to believe for another year or two.

growing up in mexico they would always tells us that mexicans were too poor for santa. So we would get our toys on jan. 6 which is three kings day. but we found out it was our parents because the town would fill with people selling toys only once a year around the same time and we caught our parents placing our toys by our shoes.

I love this story, every once in a while the internet still coughs up credible and interesting information. Thanks and Merry Christmas.

When I was 4, my best friend told me.

I didn't take it badly. It just shows how much your parents care about you.

I read about it on the SOMB.

we used to spend christmas in puerto rico with my grandparents every year and i started asking at a very young age how santa claus could possibly know we were in puerto rico instead of home. my dad went overboard on the explanation, so i was pretty sure the dude wasn't real. they kept me going for awhile, though, because there'd be presents when we got home a few days later. so i was always like, "he must've come here, seen we weren't here, then taken the presents to puerto rico!" and, really, how'd the presents get there if no one was home? but how could he have known? it was simply too far-fetched. and i knew three king's day was bunk from the beginning, so that gave me a good idea.

There's a real lesson here, the more moving parts your cover story has and it won't be long before the jig is gonna be up. Keep it simple.

I think I had an idea that he wasn't real anyways, but then I woke up and ran to the hall one early morning really excited to tear open some gifts and saw my parents putting presents down. They didn't see me, so I just kinda snuck back to bed and laid there for a little while thinking over the fact that either Santa was dead or he didn't exist. I don't remember it making me too sad, and it kinda made me laugh when gradually over the years my dad would put on gifts "from: Santa" in his handwriting.

I did actually talk to Mrs. Clause on the phone one time!

und0wned

I have yet to admit Santa doesn't exist. My parents were actually worried when I approached 30 and still expected presents from Santa. They tried to get me to say I didn't believe in Santa anymore, and I refused.

Neighbor told my little brother and me. We got upset and asked my mom. My mom informed my dad. My dad walked next door and in not-so-polite language requested this neighbor not speak to my brother or me ever again.

I was about 7. By then half the kids knew the truth, the other half faithfully and desperately held on despite their advancing skills in logic and reason. When I was officially hopping the fence in 2nd grade, I got into a debate with a very outspoken girl who I sat next to in home room. My questioning got her really upset. We went to a Catholic school, and she called over a classmate whose dad was a deacon at the church. I still remember this moment of escalation very clearly,

Girl: Betsy, Santa Claus is real, right?

Betsy: (confused)....yes

Girl: See, Matt! And her dad would know!

The funny thing was that I really took this logic into serious consideration for a couple days. But that Xmas, I found the present stash before the big day and the parents passed off some presents from Santa Claus. It didn't bother me, and in fact I played along for the next few years out of fear that the Santa portion of my gift loot would be diminished if I told my parents I knew.

I didn't even make it to kindergarten. This is the one thing my parents never lied to me about, as opposed to the whole church - heaven and hell thing, well what did they really ever know about that to begin with? I am awfully glad I was disabused of this particular aspect of mythology early on. I also should thank my sister who taught me to read before I started school.

This is a good strategy for accruing more presents. Now, I have to figure out a way to affectively revert my non-belief status. (I'm leaning towards some kind of brain damage)

so 2 Xmases ago, my in-laws took the whole family to Mexico to celebrate their 50th anniversary. The trip was thru the Xmas holiday and on Xmas eve, we all went out to a restaurant in Puerto Vallarta. On the way back in the cab, our kids were discussing whether or not Santa was real. I'm pretty sure my son (7 at the time) was arguing against his existence, and my then 5 year old daughter was saying that he was real.

Anyway, as we pull up to the hotel, there is a man dressed as Santa that we drive past (it is probably 10:00 or so on Xmas eve at the time) and my daughter gets a really satisfied look on her face and says, "SEE, I told you he was real". My son took a few minutes before reverting back to his skepticism.

It was pretty funny. Probably only works for Jews who never seek out Santa because I don't think any of our kids had actually noticed anyone dressed up as Santa before.

Oh yeah? Well I'm going to tell your kids there's no such thing as Hanukkah Harry, so there!

huh?

this thread pisses Santa off.

[quote name='izzy' post='275328' date='Dec 26 2006, 01:23 PM']
[quote name='MattW' post='275324' date='Dec 26 2006, 11:20 AM']
I was about 7. By then half the kids knew the truth, the other half faithfully and desperately held on despite their advancing skills in logic and reason. When I was officially hopping the fence in 2nd grade, I got into a debate with a very outspoken girl who I sat next to in home room. My questioning got her really upset. We went to a Catholic school, and she called over a classmate whose dad was a deacon at the church. I still remember this moment of escalation very clearly,

Girl: Betsy, Santa Claus is real, right?

Betsy: (confused)....yes

Girl: See, Matt! And her dad would know!

The funny thing was that I really took this logic into serious consideration for a couple days. But that Xmas, I found the present stash before the big day and the parents passed off some presents from Santa Claus. It didn't bother me, and in fact I played along for the next few years out of fear that the Santa portion of my gift loot would be diminished if I told my parents I knew.
[/quote]


That's twice in this thread that somebody has equated religious belief to belief in Santa, is it really that much easier to believe that some gasses exploded billions of years ago, setting several a mindless, accidental process into action, cascading through one unplanned and un-miraculous evolutionary event after another, moving inexorably toward....Walmart?

Jews piss Santa off.

"We Jews believe it was SANTA CLAUS that killed Jesus Christ" from They Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore by Kinky Friedman

whatever man, he ain't done shit for me.

My drunk mexican uncle dressed up as Santa at a holiday party and fell over doing tequila shots then his beard came off. I already suspected the minute he walked in the room (duh, Santa isn't mexican).

my mom was no fun and never let me believe in santa claus. i had to fake it for my retardo cousins, though.

That's hysterical!

My story is that when I was eight, I was in my parents bedroom watching tv. Somehow (I don't remember why), the closet got opened, exposing presents. My mom said, "you already knew there was no Santa, didn't you?" I was like

I had been hanging on to the Santa belief, as a kid, as a "believing in things even when you know they're unlikely" way, the same way I still believe that "the impossible is possible tonight," so I was kinda bummed.

Santa Claus died for somebody's sins but not mine

Yes, Freddie, there is a Santa Claus.


The SOMB is the only place where I deal with the big issues. So, let's put it out there. Does the Santa question parallel whether God is real?

Sure why not, because the ways of Santa Claus are often dark, but never pleasant.