Let's face it; most of you need to be taken down a notch. Especially after Pinkerton's thread. Form an orderly line and I'll let you know in what respect you've failed. If no one posts I'm just going to fire randomly into the crowd. You've been warned.


Also credit to Slack for the title.

post.

I honestly dunno if this is gonna be pretty or painful, but whichever, I've got the courage to step up to the plate.

I'm a legend. I need to be taken down a peg or 2.

*Gets in line*. *Kisses Jigga and Sausage, and smacks creator of thread*

i bet you run out of insults by the 3rd poster. bring it!

Me!

i bet you run out of insults by the 3rd poster...or maybe the 5th. or 6th. or whatever this is.

uhhhh..post

It's Raj, I've listened to him in the chat room every night for nearly a year, trust me, he ain't running out of steam on you guys.

Your Internet poise in the chatroom and in secret threads sometimes overwhelms the board. You also worry too much about your post count and have post-whored in the past. Nonetheless you're not outwardly, visibly stupid, which gives you an edge on the masses. But remember; your winsome looks will only get you so far.

6.7/10

let the ridiculing begin ye of little thuggery..

In the past? Shit I'm doing it right now.

"The Laker Girls cheerleading squad needs to be taken down a peg or two."

This reads like a fortunecookie... that all u got buck?

Your tendancy to post a bunch of threads at once means most of them get lost in the shuffle. Your whimsical disregard for grammar and spelling are endearing, but rarely add to your deliberative stature. You could win "most improved" for ditching a lot of the over-the-top racial stuff and engaging more seriously with people, but the verdict is still out. Potential... with lingering question marks.

5.5/10

"Outwardly, visibily stupid," nice touch Ra.

words of wisdom there..

You were frequently accused of being Ace, but you've solidly disproven that accusation; Ace would never have the patience for such a load of pedestrian posts. Rest assured that he would appreciate the comedy of "Smells like Douche" more than anyone. Your status as a semi-mythical "girl" (if you are indeed such) gives you an almost unqualified free pass at this sausage party, but I don't expect you'll use it to do more than get drunk on schnapps and pass out in a laundry basket in the basement.

Edit: Forgot the score.
1.8/10

"Midnight Train To Georgia", how good is that gladys night.

my confidence just dropped a notch after that diss.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

funny thing is most of this disses are accurate.

......BLAM!

A rose by any other name would still be a rose, but Without Opinion by any other name would be far less clearly defined in two short words. Cruising along like a garbage-bloated seagull on the breezes of SOMB, whatever contributions you may have made are swallowed up by the self-fulfilling prophecy that is your name. There's a reason no one remembers William Stinkywriting and everyone remembers William Shakespeare, and it's not because Shakespeare was a better writer. They were roughly equally talented.
Points for (if I remember correctly) being a baseball fan. Other than that I mainly remember your old signature about the SOMB being "founded on indie" which gave me quite a larf. Indie sucks dude.

3.9/10

Esté por favor de buena naturaleza a mí. Cuando las palabras ásperas han parado, realizaremos las manos y haremos las paces.

do me!

A+

Do your worst...

No longer a girl, not quite a woman... Velocity. You and your fellow Pinnicky Hillbillies arrived unannounced one morning on the doorstep, gap-toothed grins intact, to litter rawkist trash about our yards, loose your hounds in Bumpus-fashion on the neighborhood, and generally pollute the once-idyllic neighborhood. Most of your vaccination-less, antibiotic-less, bathing-less number died off within a few weeks, but the most stubborn still wander from thread to thread, gazing sullenly at things you do not understand, flicking your tail lazily at flies, and thoughtfully chewing your prog-metal cud.
That said, you are my favorite KXOLer. Congratulations!

5.3/10

Wow.

i'm not gonna lie..this is pretty effin fun.

This is great reading.
It's amazing to see this level
of intelligent, lucid humour out
of the mouth of a somb babe.

this is awesome!








oh, shit!

This kind of pandering is not going to help you. You're meat.

what about me?

I thought pandering and insincere platitudes worked on everyone...
Is insincere platitudes redundant?

Sadly, no. Many, many people sincerely offer up platitudes.

This is gold.

doesn't anyone want to say something bad about me?

One of the many SOMBies who (until recently) took his name from an unpleasant-to-visualize physical condition (I always imagined Rivers Cuomo with his plank twixt his skinny, undersexed legs, Buffalo Bill style, singing "Beverly Hills." This was not a pleasant thing to imagine.) I had a little trouble thinking of things that are wrong with you, but I realized it's not because you are great (you are so not) but because you spend 3/4s of your time where I don't usually go, in the cesspool that is the Etc. Board, posting in threads that displease God and quite possibly threaten the security of our nation. Your status as the 3rd-biggest scenery chewer in "Five Things I Think," the SOMB's own little e-Black Hole of Calcutta, says more than I ever could.

3.6

Phew, bashing all of you is harder work than I realized. I'll be back in a few hours. Keep the line neat and orderly until then.

Wait yer turn.

you people suck

Rest: the sweet sauce of labor.

wow....thanx

Nope. Turns out it's 6. He's gotta go listen to some Wu Tang to get all stoked... big fairy.

look out-the pinball wizard is here.


You're like a masochist in a mattress factory looking for sharp edges. Give it break already. I'm sure the Taliban will come and behead you in due time..

all right

I didn't take a break so much because I ran out of steam, but because I wanted to shake my head and gaze sadly out the window at this gray Chicago afternoon as I considered the meloncholy tale of Gimmick. The hare is now a tortoise, and if the trans-species operation isn't helping you win any races as you huff along gamely in the middle of the SOMB pack, rest assured that your shelled body will at least be comically batted about by the SOMB's predators rather then rendered bloodily in a furry blur as was the case for so many years in your former form. But no one blames you for your reptilian lethargy; tending your little shrine to Damo's top 100 list is an exhausting job! After reading this post and having a good cry, you will rearrange the shrine of things you pulled out of his trash and fall asleep on the floor craddling one of his discarded nautically-styled scarves. You will feel much better in the morning.

4.6/10

whoa, i love the claon conspiracy.

MURDER ME, erick (another hot night).

QOTD